Cowboys and Angels
by House of Eros
Summary: After being ripped from his family, John Marston makes new friends, meets old enemies... And makes questionable moral choices along the way. In the end though, when he realizes his heart is being torn in two different directions, the biggest decision he has to make is... Does he go back to his family..? Or does he risk it all going after the woman he fell for along the way?
1. Chapter 1

_**It's been a while since I've posted to FanFiction, most of my time is dedicated to Archive of Our Own but since I posted this story to that site and realized how much fun I'm having writing this one I figured I would post it here.**_

 _ **-Eros**_

* * *

Bonnie MacFarlane was never a lady for sympathies, but not even she could ignore a man laying on the side of the road near death.

"Amos stop!" She gasped and hopped off the stagecoach, nearly falling as she saw the lame man.

"Miss MacFarlane are you nuts! We're right in the middle of gang territory!" Amos scolded in a harsh whisper as he yanked on the reins of the horses.

"There's a man!" She said and scampered to his side.

"He'll die we have to go!" Amos growled.

"Shame on you!" Bonnie snapped and looked back to the pale man, her violent blue eyes making Amos back up a few paces, she took her glove off quickly and reached down, feeling his jugular. "He's alive! Amos help me!" She ordered not leaving any room for argument as she wrapped her arms around him beneath his shoulders.

Amos looked around with his rifle in hand, glancing to Fort Mercer, no bodies moving it seemed... He cursed under his breath and rested a hand on Bonnie's shoulder before handing her the gun to protect them as he dragged the half-dead man into the coach. Once he was inside, he and Bonnie quickly got back onto their ride and galloping off towards the property.

As they entered the Armadillo on their way back to the ranch, Bonnie bust through the door to the doctor's office. He was closing up shop and jumped at the sudden intrusion.

"Miss MacFarlane what on earth-"

"I have a dying man!" She interrupted and the doctor's brows raised quickly as Amos began dragging the limp stranger into the building.

"G-Get him in the back! Any idea what happened?" The doctor asked.

"N-No idea! We found him just on the outside of Fort Mercer, I'm pretty sure we are safe to assume he was shot I didn't get a chance to examine him." Bonnie said and the doctor nodded before following Amos into the back as he carried the seemingly lifeless body.

It felt like ages, but the doctor finally came out late into the night, Bonnie was exhausted and Amos was asleep on the bench in the waiting room. She stood up and rubbed her hands in one another in a fidgeting fashion as the doctor took off his bloodied gloves and his apron.

"Well..?" She murmured.

"He's gone through the worst of it, I got the bullets out, lucky for him they didn't puncture his lungs nor any major vessels..." He said and Bonnie sighed in relief but his next questioned stunned her. "Miss MacFarlane, I know you don't know this man but I don't have the room to store him 'til he wakes... Any room on your homestead while he heals?"

"I-I... Well... I suppose." She said and quickly swatted Amos as he snored and woke, smacking his lips for a moment before he turned to Bonnie.

"What is it? Can we go home?" He asked and Bonnie nodded.

"Yes, after we load mystery man up." She snorted and Amos raised his brows.

"Are you sure that's wise? We found him outside Fort Mercer, who knows how dangerous this man is..." He said folding his arms over his chest.

"Well, the doctor can't hold him up so it's our duty to get him back on his feet." Bonnie said and Amos sighed and shook his head, knowing arguing with her was pointless.

Loading the stranger into the back of the stagecoach, Bonnie knew she would get her rear torn apart by her pa when she arrived back home but hopefully he'd understand.

Bonnie and Amos carried the unnamed unconscious man into a spare shack they used for storage that wasn't being rented out at the moment before carefully resting him onto the mattress. She figured he would be out for a little while but she looked at his face, he was quite the man. Many scars aligned his cheeks and on the bridge of his nose. Knowing her lucky he was a criminal who would go on a rampage once he woke up but... She was willing to take that chance for now. Placing his hat on a shelf she yawned and looked at the moon, she only had an hour or so before she had to get back up. She should just start brewing coffee, after quietly shutting the door to the strangers quarters she turned her head to see her father storming in front of her still in his night clothes.

"Bonnie MacFarlane where in the hell have you been!?" He howled.

"Pa, please don't wake the whole homestead..." She sighed.

"Excuse me? You left at midday and you've been gone ever since! I thought you were dead-"

"Pa!" Bonnie barked and motioned him to approach as she reopened the shack door.

Peering in, Drew's eyes widened as he saw the unconscious man who had bandages wrapped around his midsection. He seemed to simmer down and she shut the door once again.

"What happened?" He questioned.

"I don't know, we were on our way back and we found him outside of Fort Mercer-"

"Fort Mercer!? Are you out of your mind?" He asked. "He could be a thief, a rapist, who the hell knows!?" He asked.

"Pa he was dying! What was I supposed to do? Leave him on the side of the road? What kind of folk would that make me?" She asked and before Drew could argue some more. "Look, everyone forgets I can actually take care of myself, I ain't a damsel and I came back in one piece... Even if this man is a criminal, I doubt he could take on the whole settlement, besides... The doctor said he couldn't put him up..." She sighed.

"How much was his treatment?"

"Fifteen dollars." Bonnie muttered, watching her father cringe.

"I hope you know when your doin'." He said and retreated back to the house.

"Same here, pops." She said in an unenthusiastic reply before she too walked back to the house.

Two days passed and the man she used a lot of valuable money to save hadn't awoken yet, she feared he was perishing but she checked his wound every few hours and while it was swollen there was no redness and no worrying sign of infection. As her chores for the second day came to an end, she filled a bucket of water and entered into his residence. Sitting at the edge of his bed she leaned down and wet a cloth, wringing out the excess water and she gently cleaned his face and placed the cool damp cloth on the underside of his neck, but when his eyes began fluttering she raised her brows.

"Uh... Mister?" She asked and amber eyes blinked pathetically, but he pinched his eyes shut again as the light stung them like a cheap perfume.

"Can you... Close the door, miss?" He murmured, his voice raspy and hoarse.

While she wasn't inclined to do so, she still had her pistol fastened on her hip, and she was pretty sure he couldn't attack her in his state. So she got up and shut the door softly and returning to his side, seeing him release a sigh of relief. She then took a small metal cup off of the nightstand next to his bed and dunked it into the pale next to the bed, filling it with water. As she brought it to his lips she gasped as he snatched the mug as he gulped down the water sloppily, coughing as it went down the wrong pipe and cringed and held his bandage.

"Hey now don't choke yourself after I put so much into saving you, Mister..?" Bonnie inquired as she refilled the cup.

"Marston... John Marston." He responded, his voice a bit less dried out as he rehydrated.

"Good, cause 'the stupid man' won't do forever..." She chuckled and brought the cup back up to his lips and allowed him to drink some more as John groaned.

"How long has it been, Miss..?" He asked her back.

"Bonnie Macfarlane." She mused. "You've been out for a few days. What you were doin' up at the Fort is a tale for another day, for now, you need to get some rest..." She said and stood. "I'll leave the pail here in case you need more, I'll come back in a little while with some food for you." She mentioned and walked back to the door.

"Ma'am, wait." John called weakly, watching the woman turn after opening the door, the sun-rays highlighting her golden hair. "... Why did you save me?" He asked.

"Because everyone deserves another chance... Sleep well, Mister Marston." She said and walked out of the shack.

John sighed and leaned his head back, sleep was not hard to come by...

His eyes opened again as Miss MacFarlane returned, opening his door, a tray in her hands. He narrowed his eyes, trying to see what was on top of it but it didn't take long to figure it out, the smell hitting his nose like a freight train and his stomach roaring with hunger. Glancing to the window above him the sky was dark, he wondered what the time was but right now all he could think about was stuffing himself like a turkey. Bonnie then sat the tray upon the nightstand and towered over John before leaning down and helping him sit up, hearing him groan in pain.

"Calm down, let me do it..." She scolded softly. "You got shot in your abdomen, sitting up could rupture those stitches and since I own them, you do what I say." She joked and while John felt his pride practically disappear as he let this lady help him sit up against the headboard, she brought the tray over to him. "S'not a lot... I was never much of a cook... But you'll eat it since you don't got a choice." She stated and John looked over the tray, while Bonnie insulted her cooking, but both smelled and looked delicious.

Grits, biscuits, and jerky, definitely would fill him up, he didn't hesitate on shoveling the first bite in his mouth and his eyes rolled back. He definitely missed a home cooked meal... He missed Abagail even though she couldn't really cook. Thankfully Miss MacFarlane spoke to bring him out of his depression.

"I see you slurped down that water, want some more? Or some lemonade?" She asked.

"Water would be just fine Miss if you don't mind." He quickly stood up and fetched some more water from the

Bonnie quickly stood up and fetched some more water from the faucet in by the store, returning and filling the cup back up. Her eyes widening as she saw that John had already eaten half his meal.

"Good Lord, calm down or you'll make yourself sick." She scolded and John looked over to her.

"I suppose you're right... Sorry, I'm makin' a pig of myself, ma'am. I don't remember the last time I had a good meal." John replied and used the cloth he had before to wipe his mouth.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Bonnie chuckled.

"It's no flattery, Miss MacFarlane." He replied. "It's honesty."

"I only cook for my pa and me now... I normally don't go into too much detail with the food anymore but... I'm glad it's enough for you." She said and John nodded.

"It's been months at least... My wife would kill me for saying it but you are a much better cook." John chuckled quietly and Bonnie almost had it in her to blush but she scoffed once more.

"I never woulda pegged you for bein' married up at Fort Mercer... Did you go up there to die?" She inquired.

"... I guess maybe in a way... Williamson and I used to be friends, ran together... Did a lot of bad things together... Went to give him a chance to surrender." John explained.

"You must be a bit stupider than I thought. Williamson and his band of misfits are the most violent bunch in this county... What made you think he'd surrender?" She asked with curiosity.

"Honestly I don't know... I didn't wanna kill him, we were friends after all." John sighed putting another spoonful of food into his mouth.

"... Can I ask why you went after him in the first place?"

"I don't mind you asking as long as you don't mind me not telling... It's just for your safety ma'am, I did a lot of bad things back in the day." He stated and Bonnie, while she wanted to know more, she didn't want to risk making her guest uncomfortable.

"I guess I understand, I only saved your life." Bonnie mused but she shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't mean to sound like I was pryin'." She added to make sure her previous statement wasn't taken too seriously.

"It's alright, you had a right to ask... How much were my treatments?" John asked, nervous to know the amount.

"Fifteen dollars." Bonnie replied matter-of-factly and watching John cringe.

"I'm sorry, miss you shoulda let me die." He snorted.

"Why? I can hold this against you forever." She giggled softly and then shook her head. "It's fine, I couldn't have just let you die even if I wanted, my daddy taught me better than that." She said.

"Well... I owe you a lot and I'll do whatever I have to do to repay you." He said seriously and Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"You won't do anything until your better, killing yourself will do neither of us good..." Bonnie said as she watched John finish his food.

She took his tray and carefully laid him back down. John hated being so dependent on someone, especially since that someone was a woman, and he hated inconveniencing a woman, especially when his woman was in trouble. This blonde haired beauty seemed like a hard worked and she looked exhausted but he knew better than to tell her that. Perhaps he could help her out over the next few days when he was able to get up to give her a break.

"Miss MacFarlane?" He asked. "Thank you." He said and she smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Mister Marston?" She questioned back, watching him turn his attention back to her. "... It's Bonnie, you fool." She chortled with a small wink before walking out of his space.

John couldn't help but release a small chuckle himself as he watched her walk out. She was quite a woman, just from their short conversation he could tell. She didn't mention a husband but he was certain she had one. Who wouldn't want to marry her? She was what every man wanted, at least, she was the kind of woman he would want if he weren't married. He figured tomorrow he would try to get up and start repaying his debt to Miss MacFarlane... Or rather, Bonnie.

Though John wanted to get up the next day, he didn't wind up standing until a few days later. He sat up and groaned softly, running a hand over his face and turning his dark gaze out the window. He noted that the place he was staying was rather lively, there were quite a few people walking around and doing work outside. However, he noted his hat was missing, thankfully though he saw it on a shelf. He meandered over and placed it comfortably back onto his head where it belonged before he walked outside. The sun stung his eyes as it had before but thankfully his hat protected his optics from being fried out of his skull.

He grumbled quietly before he scanned the property where he was being held up and hummed quietly before noticing the blonde woman he had been fed by earlier walking into the largest house down the dirt road. He began walking in that direction, a small pain radiating in his rib cage as he did so, watching her glance back as he approached.

"Well, look at this, the dead have risen!" She joked in greeting, watching John shake his head with a small smile.

"I suppose so, ma'am." He chortled with a weak smile. "But to be fair, I would be dead if you hadn't picked me up... I intend to repay that fifteen dollars. Is there anything I can do to start?" He inquired.

"Well... I suppose the first thing you can do is do a quick perimeter with me so I can show you the grounds, Mister Marston. Mind saddling up, or are you still sore?" She asked and John shook his head.

"No, Miss, I'm ready when you are." He said and Bonnie smiled before motioning to a few horses that were hitched by the corral before she trotted down the steps to face him.

It was now that John really got to look at Bonnie, she had tawny buttermilk skin, with a few dark spots on her face most likely from her hard work on the ranch in the sun, her hair was a shimmery golden blonde like a Tuscan sun and her eyes were pools of cobalt... And her lips were silky rouge. But before he could look lower she passed him towards the horses and he was sure to follow.

Mounting a bronze stallion with a sable mane and tail, he pulled back on the reigns, earning a small huff from the beast beneath him as it back up a few paces, while Bonnie climbed upon a ginger mare with a splotch of chiffon upon her rear end. The two horses walked side by side towards the main road until the woman beside him kicked the sides of her horse, causing her to speed up to a canter to which John reciprocated by catching up to her as they rode.

"So, how are you feeling, Mister Marston?" She asked casually as she began leading him towards the back end of her house.

"Fair enough, I'm a little tender in some places but overall I'm okay thanks to you." He said, sending her a sideways glance.

"Good Lord, Mister Marston, keep thanking me like that you'll give me my own precious male ego." She giggled. "Honestly, you don't have to."

"Well when someone saves you from dying on the side of the road, you tend to feel a bit grateful, Miss Macfarlane." He said earnestly, earning a small subtle blush from the stoic woman beside him.

"Well, it was costly but... For now, I don't regret it. Shall I start the tour?" She requested.

"Of course." John stated and kept up with her.

After disposing of some well-despised pests in Bonnie's garden, John also found out the woman who saved him was actually a good shot as well... She seemed like a good woman and a well sought after woman, as they rounded the final corner of the impressive settlement.

"So? What do you think? It's nothing fancy but it keeps us from living in the slums of Thieves Landing I suppose." She said.

It's actually pretty superior to other places I've seen, most ranches don't have their own store." John replied with a small nod.

"It's blossomed from the little farm it used to be but we do alright for ourselves. Wanna come in for a glass of lemonade? I know you men never show your discomforts but I'm sure those stitches aren't feeling too great." Bonnie offered and grinned playfully.

"That or whiskey." John snorted as they led the horses to the hitching post.

John dismounted his horse with a small pained grunt. He reached down and gently rested his palm onto his wound as Bonnie got off her horse and approached him. She then gently touched his forearm and motioned to the house. He followed suit, climbing up the stairs carefully and walking into the house. It was a nice place, something he could see his own family living in.

"You've got a nice place here, Miss Macfarlane." He complimented and Bonnie looked back to him.

"Thank you, if you want you're welcome to rest your bones. I know you're still healing so I won't push you so hard, I'll go get you a drink." She said and smiled before wandering into another room.

John sat down in a chair by the door, but before Bonnie could even return with his lemonade, he was unconscious. His dreams were filled with Abagail, Jack... Dutch and Bill... He had a nasty job to do in the next few months. However he was woken with a slight jump as Bonnie walked into the room.

"Mister Marston, you're awake." She said and John rubbed his eyes.

"How long was I out?" He asked.

"A few hours. Mind riding with me tonight?" She asked as she held two rifles in her hand, watching John stand.

"Not at all, what for?" He questioned.

"The wild never sleeps, gotta make sure our assets are protected during the night." She replied and tossed him the extra rifle she carried.

John caught it and tilted his head, examining the hardware and looking down the barrel. This was a nice rifle.

"This is a fine weapon, miss." He commented and Bonnie shrugged her shoulders.

"You're welcome to keep it. I just got a new one so I have no use for it." She said as she walked out the door.

Damn, she saved his life and now she was giving him a rifle? What kind of person was she? Did she have an angle? He couldn't tell but he said nothing as he followed behind her without hesitation, mounting his horse from earlier and riding along side her. Thankfully their little round trip wasn't deprived of action, he was able to exterminate some more vermin from eating Miss Macfarlane's chickens before the night was over.

"Don't you ever sleep Miss MacFarlane?" He asked curiously.

"I sleep enough I suppose, sometimes I wish I had some more time to myself but I remember that I chose this life." She said with a fond smile as they walked back towards the house.

"Doesn't your husband help you out?" John asked, raising a brow.

"What husband? I'm too independent for most men, besides I really don't leave the ranch unless I'm grabbing supplies so I don't have many opportunities to meet men." She snickered.

"I'm surprised." John commented.

"Why?" Bonnie asked.

"I'm just surprised that you aren't married, you seem like the perfect woman, pardon if I sound too friendly." He explains and Bonnie feels more heat coming to her cheeks.

"Well, considering I found you outside Fort Mercer, I can only assume what kind of man you are, more men like little damsels and I ain't one of those." She chuckled and looked over to him, John shrugged his shoulders.

"Their loss then." He said matter-of-factly before the two dismounted their rides.

"Thank you for accompanying me, Mister Marston, it's always nice to have someone with me every now and again." She said and flashed a smile at John. "But if I don't want to be exhausted tomorrow I should go to sleep, shall I see you in the morning?" Bonnie inquired.

"Perhaps, Miss MacFarlane, perhaps." He said before tipping his hat slightly to her before turning around to walk towards his shack.

"Bonnie you fool!" She called with a soft cackle in her tone before heading inside.

John turned his head back towards the farm house and shook his head with a slightly exasperated smile. Miss MacFarlane, or rather, Bonnie, was quite a character... He liked her.


	2. Chapter 2

John leaned against the shack that he had been sleeping in, smoking a cigarette casually and inhaling the sweet tobacco into his lungs and feeling the nicotine fill his system with a small relaxation within his veins. Exhaling the smoke of his little escape he failed to see Bonnie approaching him until she stopped in front of him. He quickly put out the cigarette to be polite and turned his attention to her.

"Good morning Miss MacFarlane." He greeted, Bonnie rolled her eyes in an exasperated fashion, knowing no many how many times she urged him to call her Bonnie, that he wouldn't due to his chivalry.

"Morning Mister Marston, how are you?" She asked, resting her hands on her hips before reaching up and running a hand through the bangs that hung in her face.

"Getting better by the day." He replied and glanced to his bandages, he had been resting here some four days since he woke up. "Need any help? I'm not doing much." He offered.

"I can tell." Bonnie teased and grinned. "Actually... If you don't mind, we're short some herders. We need to drive the remainin' cattle here up to the pasture, ever done somethin' like that?" She asked.

"Actually yes, lead the way." John replied and Bonnie smiled in relief before walking John over to their horses.

Bonnie had been lending John a horse and he was wondering what he had done to deserve such kindness from her, but he mounted it anyway and followed his newest ally to the pen where the remaining cattle were circling in a slightly agitated fashion from all the men surrounding them.

"Ready Miss MacFarlane?" Amos called.

"Think you can handle the back?" Bonnie questioned John.

"Yes, ma'am." John replied almost playfully, deserving a well earned shifty eyed glance from Bonnie, did John really have a sense of humor?

Bonnie couldn't help cracking a smile and flashing it at John before making her way around to the front and signaling to Amos that she was ready. When the gate finally did open the cows rushed out to be free of their confines. John roughly kicked his ride's sides earning a quick jolt as he caught up to the herd. He whistled occasionally to keep the cattle in line with Bonnie but as he rode side to side, keeping them clustered was mostly easy enough.

Every few moments he would take a look at their surroundings. The open plains were calming and then turning his attention back to the herd and back to Bonnie... She was a good rider among everything else... Was there anything she wasn't good at..? Before he could begin to think of... Less desirable things he noticed a few cows beginning to straggle away, thankfully taking his mind off of unfaithful thoughts as he rounded them up back into the group.

Arriving at the bulk of the heard the herd seemed immediately at ease by being back together as a whole, there seemed to be some forty altogether. John was jealous of these people having such an easy life but he reminded himself that he would have this... One day he would have this.

"John?" Bonnie asked as she approached him on horse back, once again being pulled out of his own head he turned his copper gaze over to her. "You alright?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. I was just seeing what a nice life you got goin' here... It's definitely something I plan on having once I get my debts settled." He says simply.

"Really? I can't imagine you wantin' to be a farmer." Bonnie mused.

"I was working on goin' straight when all of my past wrongs came to haunt me... I have a piece of land out on Breecher's Hope, outside of Blackwater." He explained and Bonnie gawked at him.

"No kidding?" She asked.

"No kidding." John confirmed with a soft hearted smile.

"Wow..." Bonnie said and smiled back at him.

"Wow what?"

"Nothing... It's just... That the most you've ever mentioned about yourself, that's all." She replied.

John raised his brows and looked over to her but he shrugged, still smiling. He didn't open up to a lot of people and Bonnie could tell that much from his stoic character.

"For the record, I'm honored for that," Bonnie added and winked, now it was John's turn to feel uncomfortably shy before she released a small exhale. "I gotta get back to the ranch though... See you there?" She asked casually.

"... Yeah, you will." He said and nodded to her before Bonnie smiled and kicked her horse's sides as she turned and galloped back towards the homestead.

John's eyes followed her and he breathed slowly as he watched her slowly disappear from his view, his eyes moving up and down her form. He turned his eyes back to the cattle as he quelled his urges for a few minutes. He didn't understand why that wink instilled something so primal within him... Well if he were honest with himself he knew why he hadn't seen Abagail in months... He didn't have time to focus on his more... Instinctual side of his existence. He had never cheated on Abagail.

John pulled back gently on the reins of his horse as he rode onto the ranch grounds, thankfully Bonnie was nowhere in his sights. As his chestnut mount pulled up to Bonnie's paint. He dismounted carefully and winced slightly, pausing as he held his stitches. He then hitched the horse to the post, starting to walk back towards his room, needing to sit down for a few moments, but as he looked up, he noticed a familiar face waiting for him, and he was unsure of whether to be worried or ready for a fight... He opted for both.

"I think I caught your name as... John right?" The mustached man asked.

"... Maybe, it depends on who's asking." John replied coolly, remembering he couldn't necessarily trust everyone even if they came from this ranch.

"I'm no one special... Just the one who saved your life." Amos replied back and John felt a tad uncomfortable with the slight confrontational tone of his voice.

"Forgive me I was bleeding to death... I couldn't exactly get names and address' of those who were savin' me." John said, making sure his stance was clear, he wouldn't back down, he didn't understand why Amos was acting... Like he wore the pants around this farm.

"All you need to know is my name is Amos-"

"Then all you need to know is that my name is John... I like sticking to first name basis' lately anyways... If you could please step aside... I'd like to rest my legs for a little while." John said seriously, but he didn't want a fight, especially a fight with one of Bonnie's farmhands... He didn't want to become unwelcome to her.

"All I know about you is where we found you... Outside Fort Mercer... You can pull the wool over Miss MacFarlane's eyes all you want... Just know that I got my eye on you... And to stay away from her... The MacFarlane's are good people, I won't let you take advantage of them, and if you hurt Miss MacFarlane... Just know that I'll hurt you... A lot more than that bullet did." Amos threatened and John narrowed his eyes.

"You got one thing right... You found me outside Fort Mercer... That's it, and I'm going to give you a moment to rethink your words... I don't take too kindly to threatening... I don't know if you noticed but I've been trying to help out around here trying to pay off the debt they got into by saving my sorry ass... I didn't ask her to save me, and even though this ain't your business, but I'm a married man... I have no kinds of intentions with Miss MacFarlane... It seems though like you do, and it'll be very hard to try and woo her over with a bullet in your head, friend." John said flatly and stepped up so that he and Amos were only about a foot away from one another. "Now... Are you going to move, or am I going to move you?" John questioned, rust colored eyes ablaze with intensity.

Amos stood there for a few hard seconds, debating on what to do about John, but thankfully... He did step aside and John passed by him, watching from the side before opening the door to his private room and shutting it behind him. John sighed and sat on the bed, of course, it was too good to be true, there would always be someone who judged him, there would always be someone who didn't believe in him. At least he wasn't disappointed...

A gentle knocking on the door woke John up, jolting up slightly. He didn't even realize he had fallen asleep...

"I-I'm up, I'm up." He said and slowly sat up, it was still day so he couldn't have been asleep for too long, watching Bonnie open the door and step in he couldn't help but feel his heart climb into his throat for a moment at seeing her.

"Sorry for waking you Mister Marston, I was just curious if you were interested in riding into town with me, I need to get some supplies and company is always appreciated... Seems like more and more coaches are gettin' robbed so... If you're sleeping though don't even worry about it." Bonnie said almost nervously and John shook his head.

"Of course I'll come with you, I need to stop sleeping all day anyway... Any idea of how long I was asleep?" He asked.

"Well, I got back to the ranch about two hours ago so... If you followed pretty quick afterward that's the best I got." She replied and John nodded, wiping the sleep out of his eyes for a few moments before he reached over and put his hat back on his head where it belonged, standing and nodding Bonnie out the door.

Bonnie seemed relieved that John was willing to come, leading him to the wagon, however as John climbed into the driver's position he looked over and noted Amos and a few other ranch hands eyeing him as they congregated by the corrals. This could end... Badly, perhaps he should leave as soon as possible... For now, though, he snapped the reins the horses beginning to trot forward.

After the two were away from prying eyes, John felt much lighter. However Bonnie wasn't naive, she could tell there was some... Tension in the air, she did John the favor of holding before they were out of earshot.

"So... Mind if I ask what the pissing contest was between you and my farmhands?" She asked curiously, raising a brow and looking over at John with a small smirk as she watched John sigh.

"Your friend... Uh, Amos I think, was just lookin' out for your well bein'." He said simply and Bonnie suddenly furrowed her brows.

"How so?"

"He was just... Concerned that I'm not an Honest Joe... Can't blame him really, you don't know enough about me to know I don't have something else on my mind... I tried reassuring him that it wasn't what he was thinkin' of but-"

"Well, it's not Amos' farm... And he doesn't get to decide whose welcome and who isn't... I'll deal with him John I'm sorry." Bonnie sighed.

"If it's alright Miss MacFarlane I'd rather you didn't, since I'm already stirring the pot around here I would much rather just... Let things be, I won't be here forever anyway." He stated and Bonnie nodded stiffly.

"Well... True but he shouldn't treat my guest so poorly." She said.

"Oh I'm a guest, not a stowaway?" John joked to lighten the mood and Bonnie laughed.

"I would say you've worked your way up to guest." She said and smiled over at John, who couldn't help but smile back. "Excuse me if I'm being too nosey but, mind telling me a little about yourself? A man with as many scars as you do must have an exciting story." She said.

"Well... Ain't much to tell, my father was an illiterate Scott, he was born on a boat on the way to America but the way he talked you woulda thought he'd been raised there, my mother was a prostitute but she died during childbirth so I didn't know her. My father died when I was eight in a bar fight and I was sent to an orphanage where I ran off and met my old friends... I'm not too exciting, sorry Miss MacFarlane..." John said and Bonnie shook her head.

"You poor man, you don't have any siblings or anything?" She asked.

"Nope, what about you?" He asked, wanting to get the questions away from him.

"I had six brothers, but five of 'em died due to sickness or foolish choices, my last brother works in New York as a banker... My pa is the only one left here and with him getting on in age I had to step up and be the man of the ranch." She mused.

"I can't imagine what your father must have gone through." John said with some shock.

"Do you have kids?"

"Two, but my youngest girl died when she was little. My son Jack is becoming a young man though, reminds me a lot of me... Serves me right." John snorted and Bonnie giggled again.

"You're lucky." She then said, earning a slightly surprised look from John. "A-About having a son I mean... I know people would be surprised to know but I want to be a mother one day, but with as much work as I have to do if I fell pregnant I'm afraid the farm would be neglected." She sighed and shook her head. "But first I need to find a husband." She chortled.

"Well if you want my opinion you're long overdue, you'll find a good father for your children." He said and Bonnie smiled.

"I hope so... I mean the pickings are slim, Amos is alright I suppose but... We've been friends for so long I'm just... Not interested." She sighed, John couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing Bonnie didn't have any mutual feelings for Amos after he was such an asshole.

The ride went by smoothly for John and dare he say he had a good time talking with Bonnie. He was happy to see how much she was smiling, she had a nice laugh... Once in town, she handed John some money and motioned to the doctor's office.

"Mind getting some medicine and some gauze? We'll have to change your bandages sometime today." She stated and John nodded. "Also, be nice to him, he saved your life." She said and grinned before he walked into the office.

"Oh look who's alive and walkin'." The doctor said cheerfully. "Glad to see you gettin' better."

"Yes sir thanks to you, I was just told to come in and get some medicine and some gauze." He said politely and the doctor reached under the counter to grab some medicine and on a shelf, placing them on the counter by the register.

John gave him the money and said his thankful goodbyes and walked back towards the wagon, however seeing Bonnie loading up the coach he quickly placed the medicine aside and quickly took the crates she was carrying.

"Let me get those." He said and Bonnie handed the heavier things to John without many complaints.

When the pulled into the ranch, they stopped outside of the store, John helped her unload the cargo inside and once they were finished the sky was darkening. She then took the medicine and gauze and motioned for John to follow her.

"Let's change your bandages." She said.

"Well, I could probably do that Miss MacFarlane." He said, fidgeting slightly.

"Nonsense, come on to the house." She said and John reluctantly followed her, thankfully there weren't any intense stares this time around.

When they walked in, Bonnie had John sit in a chair in the living room as she knelt in front of him. This was... Awkward. She unraveled his bandages and placed them aside as she inspected his healing wound. It seemed to be healing nicely, but to be safe, Bonnie took a clean cloth and dunked it in the medicine and gently dabbing the stitches, John winced but said nothing.

"I can only assume this isn't the first time this has happened you seeing how well you're taking this." She teased and carefully prodded the injury, looking for any sign of pus.

"I can assure you it's not." He replied and leaned his head back for a moment, not realizing how indecent this looked if someone didn't see the bandages.

He then looked back to her and watched her work, the way she was kneeling he couldn't help but release a discomforted breath, if anything it would be taken as a sign of pain from the bullet wound. His mind wandered and imagined her doing... Other things on her knees. He really needed to wrangle himself in. Thankfully she didn't take long and she soon rewrapped the wound.

Bonnie couldn't help but focus deeply to keep herself from blushing, he was riddled with scars and for some reason... It was kind of sexy. Even though he got the scars from doing undesirable things she wanted to feel them... She couldn't risk her hands wandering. She sighed in relief when it was over and she turned to hide her blush.

"Want a drink? I could sure use one." She said, peering over her shoulder.

John glanced outside again, he was hesitant due to the fact it was now dark outside. He wasn't sure if it were appropriate for him to stay here with her... However, a drink was too tempting and he couldn't resist.

"I would like one, thank you." He said and stood back up, following her into the kitchen.

"What's your fire?" She asked.

"Whiskey if you have it." He replied and she opened her liquor cabinet, bringing the bottle. "... You drink whiskey?" He asked almost in amusement.

"Is that a problem Mister Marston?" She asked back, flashing a challenging smirk towards him and he held his hands up in surrender knowing this was a fight he would not in.

"Absolutely not." He mentioned, she then took out two small glasses but they were bigger than shots, she then filled up the cups about half way, this would give him a small buzz before hitting the hay for the night.

She then put the bottle away and slid John the slightly fuller glass.

"You look like you can handle more than me." She said as she took her own.

"I could handle plenty more than this but it's for the best that I don't push my limits." He replied and Bonnie rolled her eyes with a smile before she held her glass up.

"To new friendships?" She asked, John paused as he went to put the glass up to his lips, but seeing her smile he couldn't resist.

"To new friendships." He confirmed and gently clanked their glasses together before they both took a drink, he raised his brows as he swallowed and looked at the glass. "This is good whiskey." He commented and Bonnie grinned as she finished her swallow, she didn't even flinch... He had to admit that was hot.

"Of course, I have good taste." She mused.

I bet you do...

John cleared his throat quietly as he took another drink.

"Here, come on I have a better place to sit." She mentioned and walked to the back door, she opened it and reached around, turning on an oil lamp to provide some comfortable light before she sat out on the back porch swing, inviting John to sit next to her.

John inhaled but obliged and sat next to her, enjoying the cool air, the days were hotter than hell but the nights were comforting.

"Remember when you said you wanted a life like mine earlier today?" She suddenly asked and John peered over at her. "... Even though I know I have a good life... Sometimes I wish it were more exciting like yours." She chuckled tiredly and John tilted his head, she was jealous of him?

"With all due respect Miss MacFarlane... You shouldn't idolize a life like mine." He says gently enough, but Bonnie met his gaze anyway. "... I'm a criminal, when I was fifteen I joined a gang with a man named Dutch van der Linde, he was like the father I never had but we did a lot of bad things... Robbed innocents... I killed people Miss MacFarlane... Some guilty... Some not, and now my family is being held hostage by the government, if I don't hunt down my old brothers like dogs, great harm will come to my wife and son." He confessed and Bonnie's eyes widened as he spoke. "... That's why I didn't tell you before, it's not something I enjoy discussing... If anything though, this should show that your life is far better off than mine." He explained.

"I-I... I'm so sorry I had no idea..." She apologized and rested her hand on top of his thigh. "... How are you holding up?" She asked.

"Just fine... You don't need to worry about me." He said simply and nodded, Bonnie sighed.

"I feel so... Foolish, I'm sitting here complainin' about how much my life is boring and you're dealing with so much, I'm sorry if I offended you." She apologized.

"You didn't, Miss MacFarlane don't worry." He assured and Bonnie smiled, finally taking her hand away from his leg.

Her hand felt like it was lingering after she had taken it away and once he finished his drink he figured now was a good time to leave, but before he could open his mouth Bonnie spoke once more.

"Ever been star gazin'?" She asked, what an odd question.

"What?" He asked.

"Star gazin'. Ever done it?" She asked.

"Don't suppose I have." John said and Bonnie smiled before placing her cup aside and stood, walking to the lamp and slowly turning out the fire before she sat back down next to John.

John swallowed quietly but he watched Bonnie point up, he followed her and stifled a gasp. The stars were so beautiful... So bright... How had he not seen this before?

"Wow..." He muttered.

"You never did this as a kid?" She asked curiously.

"I never had time... I was either thievin' to make a living or I was committin' crimes to impress my gang." He responded in his awe.

"It's never too late to enjoy it though..." She sighed happily.

"You're right about that." He muttered as he watched a star fly across the sky, but for a moment he glanced over and watched Bonnie smiling up at the sky. She really was gorgeous...

"I'm sorry I won't keep you any longer..." She said and finally looked back over, catching John staring, her heart jumped into her throat for a moment, while he wanted to leave he shrugged his shoulders.

"... Maybe I'll stick around for a little while... If you don't mind." He said casually and Bonnie blushed, thankfully it was dark.

"... I'd like that." She muttered shyly.


	3. Chapter 3

John had been a little on edge since star gazing with Bonnie, while there was no romantic affiliation with her, he was definitely feeling a connection and it was beginning to scare him. She was just such a genuine woman and she had shown him nothing but kindness... And there was no doubt that she was beautiful. His wound was almost healed and hopefully when it was healed he could leave... That way there was no possible further connection.

"Mister Marston!" The welcome voice called from the corral, John turned his head and saw Bonnie waving, he didn't hesitate on going towards her. "There's a small herd of stallions near the canyon and we could really do with some good quality horses, are you interested in coming with?" She asked curiously. "I-I mean if your stitches can handle it." She mentioned and motioned to his abdomen.

"I think I can handle it, they're feeling a lot better, it's been a week since I got up after all." He mentioned and Bonnie nodded.

"We'll have to see about snipping them out in a few days..." She said and began walking with him to their mounts, once climbing onto their horses Bonnie felt a twinge of guilt. "You know... Mister Marston, you are in no way indebted to me any longer... You don't have to stay here and help me." She said as they began walking towards the other ranch hands they were waiting for them at the gates.

"Well, I may as well help out, while my stitches are still in I can't really do any gunslinging." He replied and shrugged his shoulders. "Plus, I really don't mind." He said as they met the group at the gates.

John and Amos met each other's gaze for a hard moment but he wouldn't jeopardize getting good horses for Bonnie due to his ego. The company began galloping outside of Armadillo where the heard was feeding, Bonnie tossed him a lasso but noting Amos' glare on him... There was no harm in a... Friendly show of skills. John raced forward ahead of the group a Bonnie called to him.

"Lead them into the canyon John!"

He kicked his horse's sides as he moved to the back of the small horde. They whinnied in shock and began racing away from him, using his knowledge of herding, he began moving side to side, leading them into the canyon where the men would round the Mustangs up. Watching them funnel themselves into the narrow canyon, the workers wasted no time in lassoing the beasts as John allowed his horse to slow down.

"Good work John, these horses will do us well." Bonnie praised as he approached.

"All in a days work I suppose." He mused and looked over at her.

Amos, on the other hand, was too preoccupied in watching Bonnie and John interact as he mounted a pearly high strung stud. The horse neighed and began bucking violently, no hesitation in throwing off the experienced breaker and taking off ahead of the farmhands. John looked forward and without reluctance, he kicked at his horse's sides once more.

"A-Amos are you alright?" Bonnie asked as she climbed down off of her ride and jogged over to him.

"I'm fine, damn horse." He grumbled as she helped him up.

"It's alright, John went after him." She said and Amos huffed and brushed himself off.

"You sure he won't steal it?" He asked.

"Hey now, what did John do to deserve such hostile treatment?" Bonnie questioned seriously.

"M-Miss MacFarlane you know his type! He can't be trusted. How do you know he won't bring a group of hoodlums and tears up the ranch-"

"His type Amos is just the type we need... Don't you think if he had a gang of thugs they would have shown up by now? Honestly, Amos, you should be ashamed of yourself he has done nothing but help!" Bonnie scolded. "If you can't let go of your pride then maybe you should find a job elsewhere." She snarled, the other ranch hands remaining quiet and glancing away, a few having uncomfortable expressions plastered on their faces.

John rode forward as the wild animal stormed forward, he was a very persistent being and John was impressed if he was honest. Eventually though, managing to land a lasso around his neck and climbed upon him. The bucking and swinging around didn't help his stitches but thankfully they were healed up mostly. The horse made John stay upon him for a long time before rearing up and ceasing movement having tired himself out.

John panted and reached up, wiping the sweat from his brow before he lassoed his own horse and beginning to trot back to the canyon just after the minor verbal scuffle between Amos and Bonnie had ended, she had already mounted her horse and the others were beginning to walk back to the homestead along with Amos but Bonnie was patiently waiting.

"You got him, John!" She laughed as she saw the alabaster steed walking towards him.

"I did... He made me work for it but, he's got a lot of energy, he should do you well." He mentioned, but Bonnie threw the lasso over his old horse instead.

"Actually... Why don't you keep him? You worked hard for him and after all the things you've helped me with around the ranch, you deserve some compensation." She offered and John hesitated but finally nodded.

"Thank you, Miss MacFarlane... He's a fine animal." He stated and reached down, patting the horse's neck, hearing him huff softly.

"Come on back, I'll get you a saddle and some reigns for him." She said and John started following Bonnie back to the ranch. "Amos is so full of himself... He said you'd probably steal that horse." She sneered in a slightly disgusted fashion.

"Did he now?" John asked with a slightly amused tone.

"He did... You men." She chuckled, and John couldn't help but laugh with her.

"In my younger days I might have but when you get older you see life in some more perspective..." He said as the two rode, he definitely felt vindicated knowing that currently, he was in Bonnie's favor more than Amos... Not that it mattered.

When the two arrived back at the ranch, John got off his horse and tied him up to the hitching post when a wave of dizziness hit him, he quickly took hold of the post for some stability, his stitches radiating with a dull pain.

"John? Are you alright?" Bonnie asked peering over at him.

"I-I'm fine Miss MacFarlane just a little feather-headed." He replied and Bonnie quickly walked over to his side. "I think breaking him was a little too wild for me at the moment but I assure you I'm alright." He said, but Bonnie took one of his hands and placed it on her shoulder.

"Come on into the house you can sit down and get rehydrated." She said. "You can also meet my father if you'd like." She said and smiled.

"Sure, I'd like that... Assuming he doesn't want to shoot me." John half-chuckled and Bonnie giggled softly.

"Guess you'll have to find out." She snorted.

Leading John into the house he sat onto the sofa, she reached down and carefully lifted his shirt, John tensed for a moment until he realized she was checking his stitches, she peeked under the bandages and hummed.

"They still look good..." She commented. "We can probably take the bandages off... They're probably not comfortable anymore." She said and looked up to John's slightly pink face, thankfully she assumed it was from the heat.

"I guess so, I can do it though." He said and sighed of relief when she took her hands away from him.

"Alright then, I'll go get you some water." Bonnie said and trotted into the kitchen.

John reached up and ran a hand down his face before he started to slowly unravel the bandages from around his waist, neatly folding them up and checking out his clean stitches and pulled his shirt back over his stomach. Bonnie walked back into the living room with a few empty cups and a pitcher of water. She filled them and looked up just as her father walked into the room, John followed her gaze as she took off her brown vest and hanging it over the back of the couch.

"Oh, pa I was just getting ready to come get you." She said. "Do you want something to drink?" She asked.

"No Bonnie I'm fine." He replied evenly as he sat in an armchair in front of John.

"Nice to finally meet you, sir." John said and stood, extending a hand to Bonnie's unnamed father. "My name is John Marston." He introduced politely.

"Drew." The other replied and took the hand, shaking firmly as Bonnie sat down next to John. "So you're the man my daughter saved... You're pretty lucky having been outside of Fort Mercer." He mentioned and John suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

"A lot of people seem to tell me that." He said simply.

"Because it's true... Williamson and his gang of felons have turned that place into a graveyard and brothel alike. I dislike my daughter riding by there." He remarked, glancing at Bonnie who, indeed, rolled her eyes. "They need to be stopped." He then sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"Well... That's what I'm trying to do, Mister MacFarlane." John replied, earning a dumbfounded look from Drew. "... That's why I was there, to begin with." He added.

"... Pardon me for being so forward... But that was pretty stupid thinking you could take on Williamson's whole gang of hooligans." He said and furrowed his brows.

"Well... I know Bill... Used to know him I suppose... He's a coward, I was hoping he wouldn't cause a scene but now it's war..." John said as Bonnie took a drink of water.

"Just don't bring that war, here, Mister Marston... This ranch has enough problems of its own..." Drew said, eyeing John suspiciously.

"I apologize, sir, that not what I was trying to say... I'm not here to mobilize troops, I'm just here until my stitches are taken out, I owe a lot to you and your daughter." He said seriously.

"No... You owe my daughter... If I'm honest I probably would have left you to die... But, hearing how you've helped us, I'm glad she saved you. This place sometimes feels like more trouble than it's worth, I've buried more of my children than I've raised. I've seen strong men wither and die under that unforgiving sun. I've had whole herds of cattle take sick and die... But I've never once doubted my life here... You helping us without expecting anything in return, it's my turn to thank you." Drew said and John raised his brows in surprise.

"I-I don't think I deserve such thanks, Mister MacFarlane." He said.

"John, helping us with the herd and the horses? We needed that help..." Bonnie said and rested a hand on John's shoulder, watching him turn his attention to her.

"Well... It was honestly my pleasure Miss MacFarlane." He stated, their eyes meeting... Only for a moment, but in that moment, Bonnie's heart fluttered and John's sped up, he quickly looked back to Drew so that there was no suggestion of something else, especially in front of her dad.

"Just know that you'll always have a place to stay here, Mister Marston." Drew said and looked at his watch. "I have to hitch a ride into town, Bonnie are you settled here?" He then asked and Bonnie nodded as he stood. "Oh... John, you may want to talk to the Sheriff of Armadillo, he might be able to help your... Williamson dilemma." He explained and John nodded.

"Thank you, sir, I'll do that." He said as Drew exited the house, Bonnie grinned as John took a drink.

"At least he likes you." She said and leaned back to relax.

"No kidding... He's a very intense man, I can see where you get it." He teased gently and looked over to her with a small smile.

"What? No way." Bonnie said shaking her head.

"Yes, ma'am... He seems like a good man... You're definitely a good woman, so I can see the resemblance." He hummed softly, noting a pink blush hit her cheeks.

"... Really?" She asked, almost in disbelief, John then looked over. "Surely you're just being friendly." She muttered shyly.

"Not at all... I'm lucky to have met you." He replied.

Bonnie's breath hitched as their gazes met again... John's amber eyes showing experience and promise, they were warm, while people often misjudged his character, she noted his eyes were also soft... It baffled her that anyone could think so poorly of him. John's eyes, on the other hand, were dancing in Bonnie's lapis colored hues, they were so alluring... She was elegant, magnificent really... He didn't even realize they were beginning to lean in until a sudden thunderclap rang through the air. Bonnie gasped and stood up, running to the window. How had she not realized how bad the weather was getting!? The rain was already pouring!

"M-Mister Marston, I hate to ask for your help again but... The rain, the cattle-"

"Lead the way, Miss MacFarlane." He said and stood quickly, watching her sigh of reprieve.

"Thank you so much, John." She muttered and the two rushed outside to their horses, watching Amos direct people while getting the new horses into the barn. "Amos! I need the men to accompany John and me to go save the cattle!" She called.

"No, Miss! If the men get caught in the storm their gonna die!" He replied.

"And if we lose the heard, we all die you, stupid man! Come on John!" She said and kicked at her horses, John quickly followed suit.

The rain poured and the two rode through the mud and the rising waters, Bonnie only prayed it wouldn't turn into a flash flood. However as she saw the herd congregating under a tree, she was so relieved that they all seemed to be there and together.

"John we have to get them back to the ranch!" She called through the rain, but a sudden thunder clap rang and lightning struck the tree, the herd scattered.

"Miss MacFarlane! Are you hurt!?" John called as he rode around the fallen tree.

"I'm fine! The herd! It's a stampede!" She screamed as they spooked.

John and Bonnie began galloping towards them, riding side by side.

"We have to slow them down! There's a cliff!" She cried.

John gasped and narrowed his eyes, looking ahead... Shit, she was right. He began kicking his horse's sides roughly, it whinnied but bolted forward, sprinting. He was thankful that his horse was so fast, he raced, beginning to gain the advantage on the herd, but the cliff was getting closer and closer, sweat beginning to collect at his brow as Bonnie's horse desperately tried to catch up on the other side. John's heart raced as his horse's hooves pounded on the ground, he felt like he was flying, he was thankful that Bonnie had given him this horse, he quickly pulled over as he got ahead of the crowd and slowing, the cattle mooed loudly and turned to get away from John and thankfully they turned away from the cliff. John panted, his horse slowing to catch its breath.

"John! A-Are we all in one piece!?" She asked as she finally caught up.

"I think so." He replied as he watched the cows scatter.

"We need to gather them back up and bring them back to the corral at the ranch, I'll go left, you go right." She instructed.

John did as he was told and rounded up all the strays, getting them all up in one big herd while he and Bonnie single handily returned them back to the farm. Bonnie's hair was soaked and her clothes were dripping as well as John's, but at least his hat kept his head dry. He hitched his horse and made sure to give him some praise and a nice treat before Bonnie's horse approached him.

"... I counted... They're all there, thanks to you." She said, dismounting her horse and stepping in front of him.

"It's the least I could do-"

"No... John, you saved our lively hood... Our lives surely." She said, reaching forward and taking his hand, grasping it tightly, happy when he squeezed it back.

"... You saved my life." He replied and Bonnie smiled.

"... We're even, John." She laughed and John smiled but looked to the sky, the rain was still falling.

"You might want to change... Aren't you cold?" He asked and Bonnie looked at her clothes, blushing deeply when she realized that her brassier was showing, at least John was looking at her face...

"Y-Yes! Yes, I do." She said, but John quickly took off his outer denim sleeveless jacket, placing it over Bonnie's shoulders to cover her unmentionables, thankfully her pants were beige and thick unlike her white shirt, she should have put her vest back on. "... Thank you." She muttered quietly to John who nodded in return.

He walked with her into the house, shutting the door behind him and taking off his hat and slicking his hair back with his wet glove before replacing it back onto his head, his eyes following Bonnie as she approached the stairs.

"I-I'll be right back, I'll bring your jacket back." She said.

"Take your time, Miss MacFarlane." He assured, seeing her disappear up the stairs.

He walked into the kitchen and took his gloves off and took a towel that was placed on the counter to dry off the leather before he rolled up his sleeves some as he also dried his hands and arms, reaching up and drying his face. Bonnie then walked into the kitchen, watching John quietly. He really was handsome, he then glanced over.

"Hope you don't mind, water ruins leather..." He said and Bonnie shook her head, she was now wearing a pink blouse and a black skirt, she loathed skirts but she couldn't do much in the rain anyway, she was still stunning.

"No of course not, did you want to bathe here while your clothes dry?" She asked motioning to his own self, he hesitated but... He couldn't resist.

"... If you don't mind, are you sure?" He asked and Bonnie beamed.

"Of course I don't... After what you did you deserve it." She chuckled and motioned John to follow her up the stairs.

John walked up with her, Bonnie walked with him to the closet and grabbed him a nice fluffy towel before leading him into the bathroom. Upon arriving, seeing the tub he was already somewhat excited, he was exhausted and could definitely use a good soak. Bonnie walked to the window and closed the curtains for privacy and turned to him.

"You can lay your clothes on the counter if you'd like while they dry and feel free to take as long as you need, I assume you know how to use it." She said.

"Yes, ma'am." John chortled and Bonnie smiled before she figured she could give John some quiet.

"I'll be downstairs, have fun." She giggled softly before she walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

John followed her rear as she left, he took a breath and walked to the tub, turning on and watching the water beginning to spurt from the faucet. He then started to undress, doing as Bonnie said and laying his damp clothing over the counter, hanging his hat on the doorknob. Once the tub was filled with hot water and he was ready he slid in and turned off the water. Immediately he already felt relaxed, he groaned quietly and leaned his head back.

He felt the tenseness in his back slowly releasing and his bruises from working freeing from pain. He then washed his face and leaned back. This was exactly what he needed, thankfully the rain definitely took the dirt away from his physique but the sweat melted away and he already felt better. Dunking his head for a moment, he wet his hair and ran his fingers through it. Scrubbing his face with his palms, he wished he could shave but this was far better than nothing.

John then thought about Bonnie... She was something else, and while Bonnie didn't see, he definitely took a peek at her breasts, they were incredible. He was a gentleman though and quickly took his eyes off them. He wondered what her body looked like, if she was unmarried she was probably pure and untouched... She worked all the time she probably didn't have time for sex... If he could, he would definitely get her used to it... Make her scream.

Whoa now... He thought and opened his eyes, that was too far... Right? Was it normal for him to feel all these things even while married? He had accepted that these thoughts were most likely due to the fact that he hadn't slept with or seen Abagail in months... He was just itching for something to take the edge off. Though he was certain that Bonnie didn't feel the same way, he was married, after all, there was nothing he could give her... John couldn't help but feel guilty and disgusted on how he was trying to justify his urges to cheat on his wife...

John sighed, but hearing Bonnie's small feet trot up the stairs and wander down the hall he tilted his head. He had probably soaked long enough anyway... He felt so much more energized. He sat up and pulled the plug out of the drain and stood, reaching over and starting to towel off. Making sure his hair was sufficiently dry before combing it with his fingers and getting dressed, he must have been in the bath longer than he had thought, his clothes were dry. After slipping on his boots and putting his hat on he opened the door.

Glancing down the hall he noted the furthest most door was open. He couldn't help his curiosity, creeping towards it, he peered in and stifled a small gasp. It was Bonnie's room, her bed was by the window and she was sitting at a vanity in the corner of her room, thankfully she didn't see him... She was brushing her hair, her hair was naturally straight, but seeing her hair down she was almost a whole different person, he was so used to her hair being in a messy bun. He leaned in the doorway, watching her intently and soaking in the view.

He had to admit he felt a bit perverted watching her... John wanted to run his fingers through her soft golden locks and throw her onto the bed. He wanted to slowly unbutton her shirt while she squirmed with excitement underneath him... He wanted to hear her moan his name and to hear the headboard banging against the wall...

Alright, this was it, he had to stop watching her... If he were lucky she wouldn't notice. He quietly retreated from her room towards the stairs but hearing a floor board creek he winced.

"John?" She called, poking her head out from her room. Shit.

"Hm?" He asked, turning to her, hoping the slight tightness in his pants wasn't obvious.

"Where you off to? It's still pouring out there." She said walking out of her room.

"I-I figured it wasn't appropriate for me to be here while your father ain't here." He said, cursing the stutter that came out.

"What? John, I'm a grown woman." She chuckled, nearing him, her hair was still down... God, it was so gorgeous.

"Trust me, Miss MacFarlane... I know." He said and sucked in a quick breath, Bonnie couldn't help but blush at his wording, the look in his eyes... She wanted to reach out and touch him. "That's why I... Should head out." He muttered, Bonnie's eyes showing disappointment.

"John, just because I'm a woman that doesn't mean you have to leave." She argued.

"Yes, Miss MacFarlane... It does." He said, reaching forward and taking her hand.

She was so surprised, his hands were so soft... She expected them to be callused from his former lifestyle but they weren't. He ran his thumb over her hand before turning and walking down the stairs.

"W-Wait! John!" She called and raced down the stairs, catching his hand as he walked into the kitchen to grab his glove.

"Miss MacFarlane-"

"Look is this... Goodbye?" She asked, hoping to God the answer was no.

"What? No... But I do need to start getting things together to take down Bill... I'll see you after I talk to the Sherrif in Armadillo." He said and Bonnie seemed more than relieved.

"A-Alright... Before you leave though..." She muttered she walked past him into the kitchen and surfed through one of the cabinets and pulling out a canteen, she filled it up with water and then grabbed the rest of the unused medicine. "Here... For your travels, if you're gone when you take the stitches out just make sure whatever you're using is clean..." She said and John took both the items, smiling at Bonnie.

"... Thank you, Miss MacFarlane..." He said before turning away from her.

"Ugh, it's-"

"Bonnie... I know." He said, having anticipated her response as he looked over his shoulder, she seemed absolutely stunned, but he took his leave.

Bonnie jogged to the door as she watched John mount his horse in the rain, he turned his head to her. She smiled sadly but waved, watching him wave back before taking off towards Armadillo... She already missed him.


	4. Chapter 4

John kicked his horse's sides as he rode towards Armadillo... While he was sad to leave Bonnie behind, he reminded himself over and over again that his goal was to kill his former brothers in arms to free himself and his family... His Family... Right. Finally riding into town, he allowed his ivory stallion to slow.

"Good boy, Harlow." He said quietly as he trotted up to the Sheriff Station and hitching up the horse.

John ran a hand over the Kentucky Saddler before walking into the station, raising a brow as there was no one to be found, but noting that one of the cells was actually open, it seemed the Sheriff was napping... Oh yeah, John was completely confident...

"Excuse me." He announced, the prisoner in the locked cell turning over to the sleeping buffoon.

"Hey... Hey! You got a visitor!" He snapped, the sleeping man awakening with a slight jolt and coughing up some phlegm, John narrowed his eyes with disgust, he watched the unfamiliar man glanced at him before craning his head back to the prisoner.

"Shut up you!" He snarled in a heavy hillbilly accent before finally acknowledging John. "What'chu want?" He growled.

"My name's John Marston... I was told to come here." He replied.

"Oh yeah..? Why?" The other asked.

"I guess cause we're both in the business of the law." John stated, watching the so-called-Sheriff stand and stretch lazily as he leaned against the iron bar frame.

"... You that fella from the train company?" He asked.

"No, I'm from Fort Mercer." John corrected, but the demeanor of the other quickly changed.

"Fort Mercer... Y-You one of them Williamson boys!?" He asked quickly drawing his revolver and pointing it at John who did the exact same.

"Calm down." John said sternly.

"Shoot 'em mister! Shoot 'em!" The prisoner encouraged John.

"You gettin' cute with me boy?" The strange man asked, but thankfully before John could be shot again, someone else entered the room.

"What's goin' on here?" The white bearded man sighed in a frustrated fashion, a cigar pursed between his lips.

"I got me one of them Williamson boys." The younger of the two strangers said matter-of-factly.

"I got me one of them idiots who give Marshals a bad name..." John quipped back evenly.

"... Jonah put your gun down." The older stranger instructed.

Embers watched intently as this _Jonah_ character eyed him but slowly put his revolver back at his side, and only then did John bring his gun down. The captive man releasing an irked sigh and throwing his hands up angrily.

"You must be the man from Blackwater." This new man said in slight disinterest.

"Yessir... Listen that dog ain't too bright... But he seems loyal." John snorted softly, watching Jonah rest his hands on his hips and look to the floor.

"... Jonah, get outta here for a minute." The other demanded.

"... Yessir Mister Johnson, sir." Jonah complied but glared at John as he began making his way out the door. "You... I dun seen enough of yer hide around here, _friend._ " He huffed, but John just chuckled in reply.

"I think there's some school children down the way that you can go frighten." He antagonized.

"Oh hardy-fucking-harr... Dickhead." Jonah snarled and disappeared out the door.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Marston, apart from frightening my deputies?" Mister Johnson asked.

"I'm here to capture or kill Bill Williamson." John said seriously, feeling slightly uneasy as Johnson began chuckling.

"Okay." He said almost in disbelief.

"Can you help me?" John asked.

"He's outside my jurisdiction, he's in the next county. Of course, Bill Williamson and his boys have tended to keep themselves away from my town." Johnson said without much inflection.

"So you're happy to have him out there?" John questioned.

"Well, I ain't happy, but I also ain't suicidal. My job is to keep this town safe, not clean up all of these three counties. It's hard enough around here." Johnson said and leaned against his desk, continuing to smoke.

"Ya know...I hear you speak, and suddenly I'm reminded of how some of the people I respected most in my life had a problem with authority. What's wrong with you?" John asked, frowning.

"Well, I'm sure you and your fine friends have enjoyed spending your time running around pursuing noble causes. My cause is to keep this town from turning into a living hell for the folks who live here. Whole world has problems, mister, and I'm here, doing what I can." He explained, pouring himself and John a shot.

"Why? What's happening?" John questioned.

"Right now? Well, I got the railway, the people who pay my salary trying to get me to turn a blind eye to them burning down settlements up there. I got a bunch of cattle rustlers out near box canyon need shutting down, not forgetting the gang that keeps murdering homesteaders out in the back country, and I got a bunch of hoods over in the saloon, drunk, threatening to shoot up the whole town. That's all I got today, but it's early yet. Give me couple more days and there'll be more." Johnson listed and downed the shot.

"Alright, tell you what, let's go deal with them hoods, in the saloon, then we'll discuss Williamson." John offered and downed his own shot.

"Okay, boy. You're a persistent little cuss, ain't ya?" Johnson asked with slight amusement.

"Only when things matter." John mused and followed Johnson out the door.

After hunting down a small gang run by a man named Walton, John managed to tie him up alive for Johnson's preference, he needed him on his side after all.

"You're not a bad shot, Mr. Marston. Why don't you check in with me next time you're in town?" the Marshal asked.

"I don't want to be no policeman, Marshal." John chuckled softly.

"Nor did I, my friend, I can promise you that. I'll see you soon, Mr. Marston." Johnson said and waved to John before riding back towards Armadillo.

While this wasn't exactly how John thought this would go, he was at least satisfied he seemed to be getting somewhere to Marshal Johnson. Well, the best thing was to just roll with this and do the best he could to please Johnson.

* * *

About a week and a half passed before he was able to approach Johnson again, his stitches were removed and a scar took its place... He thought about Bonnie, he kind of missed her. However, walking into the Sheriff's Office, he noted Johnson and his deputies arming for what looked like, a war.

"Ahhh. Since you're here, you want to make yourself useful?" Johnson asked.

"Not particularly." John replied.

"Listen, son, I know you got a mission, but right now, I need another gun." The older of the two said.

"Why, what's happening?" John asked.

"We've had this problem for months with a group of bandits, who are getting drunk and murdering settlers. Last night, they went to a big place up near Ridgewood." Johnson explained the situation.

"They burnt the place down, killed the men, burning most of them alive, and raped the women. The women folk then got their throats slit. One of them survived and walked in here this morning." An unfamiliar deputy said, the gruesome scene playing out in John's head with a frown.

"Anyway, we got a posse gathering up near Ridgewood. Will you ride with us?" Johnson inquired.

"I'll ride." John confirmed.

"Thank you, John Marston. It's gonna be a bloody job."

"Huh, I don't think I know any other kind, sir." John said with a small dry chuckle.

* * *

John rode with the small brigade, discovering some bloody and brutal campsites being ravaged by vultures, John truly hoped that Bill wasn't behind this. While he knew that Bill was a coward, he hoped that he wasn't too much of a cur that he would shoot unarmed men for no reason... Bill seemed to definitely a stranger now. As they rode into Ridgewood farm, Johnson frowned and looked around suspiciously.

"This is too quiet. I got a bad feeling about this. Split up and search the area! John, you check the buildings and the barn." He assigned and John nodded, dismounting Harlow and jogging to the outer facilities, finding only blood, walking to the barn as the deputies and Marshall gathered around the door.

"There's no good reason for that to be boarded up. Come on, John. Shoot that door open." Johnson ordered, John obliged with no hesitation, pointing his rifle at the boards and pulling the trigger.

Upon opening the door, the group gasped, even John was shocked. Bodies aligned the floor of humans and horses alike, blood spattered all over the walls, but what really took John for a ride was the female corpse that was hanging from the rafters... Whoever did this... Had to be put into the ground.

"Holy sweet mother of mercy." Eli gasped and turned away to vomit, but a woman suddenly emerged, scaring the shit out of everyone alike.

"Please! Please don't shoot me. Some bandits came by and took us hostage. They're holed up in the farmhouse. Some of my family's being kept hostage inside." She cried, her hands held up.

"Alright, boys, we need to get into that house right now!" Johnson commanded.

John and the law enforcement stormed the farmhouse. He was nauseated and horrified as he shot men who were in the process of, or about to rape the captive women. These definitely looked like Bill's men, he was angry that Bill had become this, John was never a rapist and he was disappointed to see one of his old friends sink so low... Once the women were rescued, the rescuers rejoined the survivors outside.

"Some folk tried escaping to the south, but then some robbers started chasing 'em down, like wild dogs. I thought you were supposed to protect us, Marshal? You folk ain't men. You ain't nothing. You're just some man on a government payroll, taking money that the rest of us have to pay for with our lives! What is wrong with this country?" One of the beat up woman screeched angrily as her family members tried to console her.

"Mount up, men! The man that kills the boss of that bunch gets fifty dollars." Johnson announced.

"It ain't about the money, Marshall. These are people's lives. People's homes!" The woman argued.

"Mount up, boys! We gotta get after those bandits." Johnson said seriously.

John couldn't help but feel for these woman having been victimized, the men of their family butchered. He didn't care about the money... He just wanted to slaughter the son of a bitch that hurt these defenseless women... And that son of a bitch might be Bill.

"D'ya think they might be headed for Fort Mercer, Marshal?" Eli asked as they galloped after the escaped bandits.

"What, Williamson's men?" John inquired.

"Maybe. All this sure looks like their handywork." Johnson responded.

"Makes sense if they took this road." Jonah chimed in.

"Come on, Marshal. This might be our chance!" John exclaimed.

"What's your beef with Williamson anyways, Marston?" Jonah quizzed

"Let's just say he's the currency in a complicated transaction." John retorted without much information.

"What the hell you talkin' 'bout?" Jonah challenged.

"Some people I have the displeasure of knowing want him dead." John cleared up.

"Why does that involve you?" John asked suspiciously.

"We used to run in a gang together. He was once like family." John said, remembering Bill _almost_ fondly.

"If this is how you treat your family, I'd hate to see what you do to your enemies." Eli said, side-eyeing John.

"That was a lifetime ago. And bearin' in mind he's left me for dead the last two times I seen him. I'm about figurin' we've moved past the family part." John countered acutely.

"Is that somebody on the cliffs?" Johnson suddenly asked as they rode up towards a hill.

"You just walk away now, John. I didn't kill you before, but I sure as shit will now!" The hostile gangster shouted as rifles were pointed in John's direction.

"Get yourself down here, Bill. You know you ain't man enough to stop me. You know I don't want to kill you, but I will." John taunted.

"You always did have a high opinion of yourself, John. Dutch always said you were an arrogant son of a bitch! I guess he was about right. Get 'em boys!" Bill commanded, sending his posse to attack John and the law.

"Everybody, take cover! In that shed." Johnson yelled.

John, Leigh, Eli and Jonah took cover in a broken down building that was barely a shell now but it shielded them from gunshots. John and the force held back Bill's barrage after barrage of troops from Bill's faction. How John managed to keep Bill from killing him was beyond him but eventually, the bullets stopped flying and whoever was left alive fled back into the hills.

"Hey, look what I got here! This son of a bitch is still breathing!" Jonah called as one of the wounded members of Bill's gang tried crawling away, Jonah climbing atop of him and pretending to ride him while taunting him viciously.

"Norman Deek." Johnson chortled as he landed a kick to the downed man's face.

"Fuck!" Norman gasped painfully.

"Nice to see you again, buddy. Thanks for your help, John. Norman here's gonna help us get to Bill. Ain't you, Norman?" Johnson inquired, smirking down at Norman.

"Thank you, Mr. Deek. Mighty kind." John mused.

"Fuck you!" Normal sneered.

"Hogtie him, let's get him to jail." Johnson scoffed.

John grinned as Norman was hauled onto the back of Marshall Johnson's horse. He was exhausted... Perhaps now was the time to finally get back to the MacFarlane's... He had been gone for about two weeks, he could really use a decent place to relax for a few days while Johnson was _extracting_ information out of Norman.

* * *

John rode into the MacFarlane's homestead, it was by early evening the next day. He dismounted Harlow, yawning as he began walking towards his room.

"John!" Bonnie called excitedly as she jogged towards him, in her usual attire thankfully but John was definitely happy to see her.

"Miss MacFarlane, how are you?" He asked, acknowledging her as his usual formal way.

"I-I wish I was better, have you seen my father around?" She asked and John furrowed his brows.

"No, I haven't why?" John questioned back.

"He went out this morning to ride the land and was supposed to be back hours ago. I don't know. The ranch hands have been out looking, but so far they found nothing." Bonnie explained, obviously a bit panicked.

"Calm down, let's go find him." John said, resting a palm on Bonnie's shoulder before walking back towards Harlow.

"Thank you, John... He couldn't have gone far." She sighed.

When they finally found Drew, he was surrounded by bodies, both those of horses and men, dangerously similar to the other attacks that he had seen days before...

"Daddy! What happened!?" Bonnie gasped.

"Nothing nice. Rustlers, I guess. Maybe the Bollard Twins, that bunch. Now you head back to the ranch right now and fetch the wagon." Drew ordered.

"Yessir!" Bonnie replied.

"Marston! You watch after her!" Drew said.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Mister MacFarlane!" John called as he and Bonnie began galloping back towards the ranch, John trying to calm Bonnie as they rode, but this was just the calm before the storm.

"O-Oh my god! The barn is on fire!" Bonnie cried as she roughly kicked her horse's sides, John wasn't far behind.

Bill must have found out that John had been staying here... Goddammit! He pushed Harlow to his limits trying to get to the barn and beginning to run towards it.

"The barn door it stuck! There are horses inside!" Amos called.

John tried pulling at the door but indeed they were blocked, he looked around, his eyes darting around the building. He sprinted around the back and noted a ladder, he began climbing, hoping that there would be an entrance on top of the rafters. Seeing the smoke escaping from a broken window, John crawled in, dropping to the second story storage area of the barn. He climbed down, beginning to cough and choke, but hobbling forward through the blinding smoke, he saw what was blocking the door... A pitchfork, this was definitely Bill's doing.

John quickly pulled the doors free and pushed the doors open, doubling over and hacking violently.

"John! He's got the doors!" Bonnie yelled and ran forward, trying to get in but the smoke deterred her, making her cough and forcing her to turn away and fall to her knees.

John bent down and quickly ushered Bonnie out of the way before taking a breath of fresh air and running back into the barn to save the remaining trapped horses. He waved his hands trying to see, finally managing to see one of the horses in the clouds he coughed and smacked it's rear, watching it quickly run out of the barn. He did the same with the second horse he came in contact with, but suddenly the door was caved in... John was trapped.

"John!" Bonnie screamed.

John fell to his knees, desperately trying to get air into his lungs, but hearing another whinny, John gasped and craned his head up, there was one last horse... He might have a way out after all. He managed to stand and make his way to the horse, climbing upon the beast and leading him out of the stall. John kicked the horse's sides, the horse neighed loudly and raced forward, thankfully jumping over the burning debris, John inhaling gingerly once he was out of the smoke and ash. He panted and nearly fell off the horse but he managed to stay on his feet.

"John!" Bonnie gasped and ran over to John, nearly crashing into him as she enveloped him in a tight hug. "Y-You stupid man I thought you were dead!" She said, her body trembling, John didn't hesitate on wrapping his arms around her waist, one hand resting between her shoulder blades and the other pressing against the small of her back.

Bonnie panted and kept her arms wrapped around his neck, inhaling his smokey scent while he could smell her subtle perfume... She smelled so sweet. The hand on the lower end of her back slowly slid upwards, but before anything else could be done, he pulled away from her.

"Are you alright?" He asked her.

"I-I'm fine, what about you? It felt like you were trapped in there forever..." She sighed and reached up, wiping some ash off his cheek. "Come on, let me get you in the house so you can wash your face off." She said and walked John into the house.

* * *

John coughed softly, sitting on the sofa in the living room, Bonnie walked into the living room with a bowl of water and a clean rag. She sat next to him and dabbed the rag into the water before reaching up and slowly dabbing at a small cut on John's forehead where the debris had cut him while falling. John winced but sighed in some relief as she cleaned the damage.

"Miss MacFarlane... I feel like I'm to blame." John muttered, guilt lacing his tone.

"What? You didn't set my barn on fire." Bonnie said with some surprise.

"... The men who did it... I think it was Bill Williamson trying to get even." He explained and he felt Bonnie's movements pause for a moment but she kept cleaning regardless.

"John, you're not to blame." She said clearly.

"But-"

" _John._ " Bonnie said and tilted his head over to meet her gaze. "... You saved my ranch _again_... I owe you my livelihood... I owe you everything really." She said shyly but leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"... Sometimes I think you shoulda just left me on the road to die... Then maybe you wouldn't have to worry about all this garbage that happened because of me." He sighed.

"... I don't regret saving you at all, John..." Bonnie said softly, John looked up to Bonnie's sparkling eyes, while she was tired she was still beautiful... His feelings for her hadn't changed... Perhaps this was more than just sex?

John then looked out the window, it was dark now... Drew would probably be home soon he should leave... He _needed_ to leave.

"I suppose I should tell you good night, Miss MacFarlane." He said, Bonnie raised her brows at the abrupt statement, watching John stand and near the door.

"J-John!" She called and stood, catching his hand and forcing him to turn and face her. "Are you sure you're alright..? You're still coughing." She said and John shrugged.

"I will be." He murmured, squeezing her hand, he needed to walk out of the door before he did something he would regret, but his legs wouldn't move and it seemed like Bonnie was in the same predicament.

"John... Really... Thank you for today... The barn might be burned but my horses and ranch hands are alive thanks to you... I will never be able to repay you." She sighed and turned her gaze downwards.

"... I'm just glad I could help you." He replied.

"I suppose this is good night then." She said just above a whisper, beginning to turn away from him.

John watched her but tightened his grasp on her hand and he pulled her back, she gasped and looked up at him, his eyes were so... Intense. She reached in hesitantly, resting her hand on his chest as he breathed his other hand reached up and took it as well, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it, however without much warning Bonnie took a breath and threw herself into John's arms, ler lips crashing into his...


	5. Chapter 5

Shock was an understatement... When her lips met his, John actually jumped but his hands found their way around Bonnie's hips and pulling her closer. Bonnie wrapped her arms around John's neck, one of her hand reaching up to gently cup the back of John's head. The lip lock lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like it had lasted eons, when Bonnie and John had separated the two stared at one another, obviously unsure of what to say. Bonnie suddenly pulled back and turned away.

"J-John I'm sorry." She said while John composed herself. "I-I thought you... We... I'm sorry I shouldn't be such a fool." She muttered, unable to turn around and look at John. "... I thought that maybe you... W-Wanted it too..." She managed to squeak.

John stood there, still reeling on what had happened... Hearing Bonnie's words he felt confused because... He did want it. Right now he had two options... He could walk out the door and disappear... Or he could reach out and stay. His heartbeat rang in his head, making it impossible to for him to really think about the consequences of his actions. His arm moved on its own and he took a step towards her, his hand making contact with her back and slowly sliding down to her waist. Bonnie inhaled sharply and slowly turned her head back as he neared her.

"... Is this what you want, Miss MacFarlane?" He asked quietly, watching her blush and smile a little as she shook her head.

"... It's Bonnie, you fool." She replied and finally met his gaze, John couldn't help but chuckle softly.

"Is this what you want, Bonnie?" He then asked, obliging her demands.

"... Yes, Mister Marston." She retorted just as quietly, watching John smirk as she reached up and ran her fingers gently over the scars on his face.

John leaned into her touch and reached up, taking her hand in his own and running his thumb over the back of it. Bonnie then smiled and slowly began leading him towards the stairs. Suddenly though a thought hit him and John paused.

"What about your father?" He asked.

"What about him?" She replied.

"... I think he'd shoot the outlaw bedding his daughter." He said and glanced at the door.

"He probably won't be home until early in the morning dealing with those bodies and the barn... Besides, he hasn't come into my room since I was old enough to look for a husband." She stated. "... If you don't want to, we don't have to."

"Trust me... I want to." John said and Bonnie smiled before she walked him up the stairs.

When they walked into her bedroom after turning on the light, John quickly closed and locked the door behind him, Bonnie then turned back to him. Her face was lit with crimson, it was obvious that due to her shy demeanor she was inexperienced with men.

"I just wanted you to know that... I-I haven't... Before..." She said and gestured to the bed, watching John approach her, he knew it.

"... You don't have to do this." He said, he then slipped off his gloves and tossed them over to her vanity before reaching up and caressing her face.

"I know... I want to... I just wanted you to know i-in case... I wasn't good." She said and took a breath as she met John's gaze.

"Bein' good ain't whats important..." He assured, watching Bonnie giggle softly.

"That's not what I hear all the ranch hands laughing about behind the barn." She snorted, watching John stifle a chuckle of his own.

"Bein' good only matters when _this,_ " John gestured between himself and Bonnie. "... Doesn't matter." He said and then arched a brow and looked down at Bonnie. "Does this matter?" He asked, part of him hoping the answer was no.

"... It matters." She whispered and smiled before she leaned up and pressing her lips against his.

While he knew this would end in disaster... John gave in, he reached in and brought her closer, the kiss beginning to heat up as Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck while one of John's hands wander down to her backside and giving it a squeeze. She gasped softly but smiled into the kiss as John slowly started backing her up towards the bed. Bonnie reached up and slowly began pushing John's denim vest off his body. He quickly shrugged it off and let it fall to the floor while he reached in himself and started unbuttoning Bonnnies blouse.

When the kiss finally separated Bonnie took a breath glanced downwards as she watched John undress her, and when John had all the buttons undone, she quickly took her shirt and vest off at once before she finally fell back onto the bed. She laughed softly but looked away as his intense stare fell down on her thin body.

"W-What are you staring at?" She asked.

"... I can't help it, _Miss MacFarlane._ " He couldn't help but tease before he leaned down and started undoing Bonnie's pants.

She reached up and started unbuckling John's belt, but as John want to pull her pants down she quickly caught his hands. He turned his attention back to her face, wondering if she had changed her mind.

"No fair... You still have your shirt on and everything." She said and feigned a pout. "Besides shouldn't the lights be off?" She questioned.

"If that's what you want." He mused before he stood back up straight.

He then walked over to the light and flipped the switch, the moonlight from the open window casting enough light for John to see. He walked back to the bed, kicking his boots off, placing his hat onto her vanity atop his gloves. When John's shirt was on the floor and his belt draped over the bed frame he leaned over Bonnie some and began to kiss her neck, she bit her lip softly and released a breath.

"How much experience do you have?" He asked her as he reached down and caressed her stomach, tracing downwards.

"I-I've done things to myself... Just not with a man." She replied and John couldn't help but smirk, so she _did_ know a thing or two.

He then started pulling her pants down and off, allowing them to fall to the floor as he looked over her body, he noted a few scars on her stomach and hips, probably from the harsh work on the farm dealing with horses and steers. He looked up to her brassiere and her underwear. She was angelic, the sheer epitome of beauty, John ran his hands over the expanse of her exposed fair skin. Bonnie felt, for the first time, beautiful the way he looked at her, the way he caressed her. John didn't waste too much time though, he stood back up and unzipped his pants, carefully placing his gun and holster on the night table next to the bed before he stripped himself of the last of his clothing while Bonnie repositioned himself on herself back onto her pillow.

John then slipped into the bed under neath the blankets, climbing on top of Bonnie and kissed her neck again. His hands reached up to cup her covered breasts, kneading them carefully while Bonnie moaned quietly into the still air, her fingers slowly running through his thick hair.

"Take this off..." He whispered against her skin, Bonnie flushed but reached down and untied the brassiere and dropping it over the side of the bed.

John drank in the view, her supple breasts distracting him from all his problems before he leaned down and gingerly kissed them. Bonnie's eyes fluttered shut and she moaned pleasurably again. She never thought she would allow an outlaw into her bed... But she wasn't complaining, he was good at what he did. When John latched onto one of her nipples, he reached down and dove beneath her underwear, his middle finger carefully navigating between her outer lips.

"J-John..!" Bonnie gasped and clutched at his back, her nails making indents and earning a small shudder from the man above her. "Y-You're making me crazy..." She panted softly, watching as he separated from her breast and looked down at her.

"Good." He said simply, his finger slowly inching inside her, she tensed. "Relax." He crooned and continually kissed at her neck.

When Bonnie relaxed the feeling became more pleasurable than anything else. She leaned her head back and gently tugged at his hair, John was too good at this she felt like she wasn't good enough, but the pleasure in her nether regions was enough to distract her from her worry. John pumped his fingers in and out of Bonnie and her excitement did plenty for him. He felt his erection beginning to stand without help... Taking his hand away from her undercarriage he slowly began tugging at her waistband, Bonnie breathed quickly but reached down and shimmied out of them, he tossed them away and kissed her lips.

"How are you so good at this?" Bonnie said tiredly.

"When you're a delinquent who can't read... You entertain yourself in other ways." John replied smoothly, earning a giggle from Bonnie as she reached up and caressed his cheek and delicately pressed her lips against his.

"You've certainly gotten good at it." She said and kissed his cheek and his chin.

"Glad I can show off..." He crowed and winked at her, his hand wandering downwards yet again.

Instead of one finger, now two were inside her, Bonnie gasped in surprise, looking up at John with some curious confusion.

"You've never had sex, so trust me... It's necessary." He affirmed and Bonnie nodded.

The pleasure was almost overwhelming as his thumb reached up and teased her sensitive bud, her back arched upwards and whimpering. John latched onto her neck, biting it roughly but alleviating any pain earned from the bite by sucking on it, Bonnie whined but didn't attempt to stop him, she wanted to encourage him actually. She quickly spread her legs and pressed her breasts against his torso.

"John... I can't wait anymore please..." She begged after a few minutes of John's fingers within her.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes... Please, John..." She pleaded.

John then carefully took his fingers out of her and positioned himself properly between her legs before he took his shaft and aimed the head at her entrance. He then moved his hips inwards, guiding himself within her. Her walls clutched him tightly, not used to such girth being forced in. Bonnie cringed and shivered, her nails raking down John's back, thankfully though he enjoyed that. He breathed in and shut his eyes as he then bucked his hips forward slightly, breaking her hymen quickly.

"A-Ah! John!" Bonnie blurted and cringed.

"I know it hurts." He disclosed and nuzzled her neck, kissing the bruise on her skin from the bite.

Bonnie did her best to breathe evenly and relax as John thrust into her. She opened her eyes and reached up, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck as John paused so that she could stretch. John kissed her lips and released a small labored breath as he pulled out and pushed back in, running a hand over her curves while the other hand kept his weight up.

When the resistance slowly vanished, John's pace began speeding up some, just like his fantasy the bed began to creak and the headboard began to smack lightly against the wall. Bonnie began moaning in time with the thrusts and John grunted, keeping her body close and occasionally looking down at her face, making sure she was having fun... She was definitely having fun. He connected their lips as well, their tongues dancing as if they had from the beginning of time, though his always dominated hers.

"Oh, John... Y-You feel so good..!" She cried quietly, her breasts beginning to bounce with the thrusting.

"Is that right?" John inquired with a smirk.

Sweat began to form on John's brow as he continued to shove himself into Bonnie, speed increasing, the obscene wet sound of his skin slapping against hers fueling his primal instincts. Feeling his orgasm piquing he groaned softly against Bonnie's skin. Reaching downwards he quickly began rubbing the tip of his index finger around Bonnie's pearl; her eyes rolled and she moaned loudly as John coaxed her orgasm from her. She could feel her sex clenching onto John and her body heating up.

"J-John... I-I..." She panted, unable to formulate words.

"I am too." He managed to groan, feeling Bonnie wrap her legs around his waist, encouraging him further.

John felt the heat at his cheeks as he continued teasing Bonnie clit until he suddenly felt her walls clamp around his length as her orgasm slammed into her. She cried out his name in the darkness as he clutched the sheets. He pounded into her until he felt his own release burst out of him into her. He quickly pulled out, finishing the rest of his orgasm upon her opening and navel.

John panted and rested his head against Bonnie's, she breathed a tad hoarsely and slowly unraveled her legs from his waist and weakly combing her fingers through his hair. He then brushed his lips against hers one more time before he rolled over onto his back, panting and slowly running his hand over his face. Bonnie then lazily rolled over to face him and rested her head on his chest, his arm rising and wrapping around Bonnie's petite form.

"... That was amazing John..." She purred and ran her hand over his chest.

"So you were, Miss MacFarlane..." He chortled quietly, hearing her release a small snicker of her own.

"... Can we do it again?" She questioned.

"You want to?" He asked back.

"I do..." She confirmed.

John chortled softly and leaned over, kissing the top of her head, watching her lean up, meeting her lips with his own.

"I do too." He declared.

"Even though I don't like skirts perhaps I should wear them more often for easier access?" She jested and John leaned his head back, releasing a small laugh of his own.

"Maybe you should..." He encouraged and Bonnie sighed quietly before she rested her head upon his chest.

Watching Bonnie fall asleep rather adorably against him... He ran a hand down her back carefully before he felt sleep tugging in the back of his mind. He knew he would regret this in the morning... But for now, he decided to _not_ think about it... Just to be happy for the night... He really was happy, he was a bit surprised at how happy he actually was. Perhaps there was a bigger connection than he realized... And it scared him, this was supposed to be just sex, he was worried that Bonnie was reading too much into this... And he was too. John finally shut his eyes and fell asleep with a beautiful woman in his arms.

* * *

When John opened his eyes again, he glanced at the window, it was still pretty dark outside, narrowing his eyes at the clock on the bedside table it showed it was about four in the morning, he probably shouldn't have slept here... He needed to get out of here before Drew or someone else saw him sneaking out of here. While it's not like anyone here could tell his wife he didn't want to cause problems. While John expected to feel guilt and regret... He felt almost the opposite, he was certain once he saw Abagail again he would feel terrible but, he would cross that bridge when he got to it.

He slowly untied himself from Bonnie, doing his best not to wake her as he sat up and swung his legs around the edge of the bed. He quietly redressed, slipping his belt on and reholstering his weapon, but looking over, seeing Bonnie sleeping soundly and comfortably... He leaned down and ran a hand through her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head before he walked over to the door and unlocked it, carefully opening it and shutting it as quietly as possible. Seeing as the house was dark it was safe to assume Drew was asleep, but he bit his lip, not remembering which floor board made the noise from before... He navigated carefully, hearing a small creak he winced and glanced to the bedroom doors... Nothing. Sighing in relief as he finally got to the stairs he walked down and ducked out the back door.

Yawning softly as he began walking back towards his room, he rubbed his eyes, not realizing he didn't even have his gloves on. He approached Harlow and took him by the reigns, he'd let the horse have the day off today, passing by the burnt barn he traversed to the corral and leading the horse inside. After shutting the gate, he walked the horse over to the fence and removed his saddle and hung it over the fence, then carefully taking the horses reigns out and leading him to some water and hay. The horse obliged almost gratefully and chomped on the hay, looking around, John noticed a brush and a pick on the workbench by the gate and he figured he could spoil his horse for a little while. He was a good animal, a fast beast, John figured he should thank him.

He brushed the egg shell horse, the dust in his pelt giving John a good workout until the sun finally rose over the horizon when he was done scraping out the horse's hooves he wiped the sweat from his brow and stroked the horse's jawline. He then walked out of the corral to give Harlow some freedom of movement before leaning against one of the telegraph poles and lighting up some tobacco.

* * *

When Bonnie woke up, the sun was peeking through her window and she groaned quietly, reaching over feeling cold bed sheets she craned her head up and looked over, John was gone. She wasn't that surprised but she was a tad disappointed, but it wasn't like she asked him to stay. She sat up and ran her hands through her wild sex hair, remembering the night before she couldn't help but grin stupidly, but looking down and realize she was still a tad... Messy, she knew she had to bathe before she went to work.

Sitting in the hot water she wrung her hair out and made sure to clean her downstairs business before getting out and toweling herself off. Seeing as most of her pants today and that she was doing most of her work in the store today she figures she could wear a skirt... For perhaps more reasons than one. She put her hair up while it was wet to keep it up and walked back into her room, seeing John's gloves on her vanity she rolled her eyes and grinned before grabbing the leather gloves and


	6. Chapter 6

John walked into the kitchen with Bonnie, shutting the back door behind him, spotting his gloves he rolled his eyes as she grabbed them, he couldn't remember the last time he forgot his gloves. Bonnie grinned as she held them out to him, but as he went to take them she quickly swiped them away.

"Hold on there..." She teased and winked. "... What do I get for giving these to you?" She inquired, biting her lip.

"... You want something? Maybe I should make you give those to me." John said and smirked, suddenly reaching down and picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist, sitting her on the table.

John had to admit, he felt ten years younger... Most of married life was dealing with gang affairs or taking care of the kids, he and Abagail didn't have much time to themselves or time to _be_ by themselves. John was never the romantic but he tried when he could and Abagail wasn't either... Bonnie on the other hand, ever since he had met her she had this unintentional flirtatious way that just... Did it for him, and last night, she had him wrapped around her finger, though she probably didn't know it and he'd like to keep it that way.

She squealed quietly, laughing and wrapping her arms around his neck as he leaned down and kissing her neck, carefully moving her collar out of the way so he could see the deep dark red bruise on her neck. Raising his brows at seeing how dark it was.

"Whoa, I really did a number on you last night." He said, one hand reaching up and running his thumb over the bruise.

"You did." She replied, but she seemed more excited. "You're lucky that I have shirts that cover it." She simpered and blushed.

John then reached a hand up her skirt, pulling her hips against his, hearing her gasp lightly. She pressed her lips against his and she would begin to unbutton his denim vest, however before anything else could transpire a sudden and rapid knock was heard at the back door. Both Bonnie and John gasped and looked at the door before he pulled himself off of her and she quickly hopped off the table and straightening her shirt out before she opened it, seeing Amos standing there, John couldn't help but narrow his eyes.

"Miss MacFarlane the shop-... What happened to your neck?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

John's eyes widened for a quick moment and he glanced at Bonnie as her face heated up once more.

"W-What?" She asked and Amos pointed at the mark on her neck.

"Right there..." He mentioned.

"Right there... Oh! Oh, I tried a new perfume last night and it didn't agree with my skin is all." She said and John sighed of relief, a good excuse.

"Ah..." Amos muttered but his glare landed on John, there was obvious suspicion in his eyes and John gulped discreetly. "Well, the shop manager is lookin' for ya, he can't find the last shipment of corn." He said and Bonnie sighed but nodded before looking at John and handing him his gloves.

"Thank you, Miss MacFarlane." John said and nodded his head politely as he slipped the leather gloves onto his hands, Amos definitely took note that his denim vest was open but there was no proof that anything was going on.

"You're welcome, try not to leave 'em out on the bench someone might take them next time... I'll take my leave then I'll see you soon, Mister Marston." She said and took her leave, walking past Amos, but when he didn't follow her, John rested a hand on his hips.

"... You got a problem here, Amos?" John inquired, glaring at the other who glared right back.

"I dunno... Should I? I told you to stay away from Miss MacFarlane... Now you're here... In her house, while Mister MacFarlane is out working... It's pretty convenient if you ask me, besides I thought you said you were married." He said and John chuckled bitterly, shaking his head as he stepped closer to Amos.

"... That's a big claim, Amos... Besides, what I do in my personal life, ain't your business if I recall correctly... And I urge you to watch what you say next... I won't take a threat twice." He said quietly.

"I know what yer doin'... You ain't worth her time-"

"And you are?" John quipped, seeing Amos' face turn red with anger, he wanted to get one good shot in. "... I'll tell you what... I'll stay away from her... But I can't guarantee she'll stay away from me." He said just above a whisper before he sent the other a tormenting smirk before he walked passed Amos, shoulder checking him lightly before he took a breath once outside.

That was dumb... Very dumb, he basically just outed himself by deliberately telling Amos that something _was_ happening with Bonnie. Something always had to be complicated, nothing could ever be easy, he'd have to talk to Bonnie about how this would go, he didn't want his business being spread throughout the homestead secondly he didn't want to be run out of here with his tail between his legs with bullets whizzing by his head for defiling the farmers daughter.

He glanced back, watching Amos scowl at him from the house. He was slightly shocked that Amos didn't shoot him in the back of the head on his way out, but he knew the other was too much of a coward to do so, knowing that if he hurt John he would hurt Bonnie. He looked out, watching Harlow roll around in the dirt he sighed, knowing now he would have to brush the horse again.

"You ass..." He murmured, but at least that would give him something to do while he _stayed away from Miss MacFarlane._

* * *

John rubbed the alabaster horse's sides as the beast looked over and nuzzled John's shoulder, John was glad that the horse seemed to be warming up to captivity and servitude. He patted the horse's nose softly before he turned his head, watching Bonnie from time to time. When Harlow was finally clean _again_ he figured now would be a good time to clean his guns while he had the chance, he hated not having anything to do but until he got a telegraph from Armadillo he really didn't have much to do. He could only wait until Marshal Johnson got the information he needed from Norman.

John walked back to his room and looked around in a few of the storage chests, finally finding a gun cleaning kit. He sat on his bed and turned on the light in the room before starting to clean his very important guns... Guns he'd need to take down Bill. His guns had definitely been neglected and he was lucky they even still worked. It must have been hours before he was finally done, he jumped slightly as a knock was heard at his door, looking up he was happy to see Bonnie in his doorway.

"Good afternoon Mister Marston." She said with a simper.

"Miss MacFarlane." He greeted in reply and placed his rifle aside and brushing himself off after standing, while they couldn't exactly embrace being in such an open area, the look in Bonnie's eyes was all he needed.

"I noticed that Amos didn't show up with me at the shop... Did he say anything to you?" She asked.

"Nothing I couldn't handle Miss MacFarlane, I assure you." He chortled.

"Hm, good... Did he... See anything?" She asked quietly.

"No, but he was pretty sure of himself." John stressed just as quietly.

"If you... Want this to stop, I understand. I don't want to make your life any more difficult." She sympathized and John shook his head.

"If I'm being honest... I don't want this to stop..." He said, reaching up and ran a hand from her cheek to her neck. "... But I don't want you getting any heat because of me and I know I don't want to get a bullet from your father if Amos decides to tell him and... You father believes him." He chortled.

"John... Amos is a trusted farmhand but my father trusts me far more than he trusts Amos, besides I think Amos knows better than to cross me like that." She stated seriously. "But this is your decision..." She sighed and nodded.

"... As long as Amos doesn't start causing problems... I see no reason for this to stop... But you understand that when I go after Bill... It'll be goodbye for a while." He pointed out and Bonnie nodded.

"I understand... I already accepted that." She said and took his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"Good then..." John concluded before he stepped closer and leaned in, placing a small kiss on her lips.

Bonnie took a small breath and rested her palms on his shoulders. When they separated she met his gaze and smiled, blushing but glanced to the door before leaning back up to his lips but not kissing him.

"I should get back before I'm missed... If you want... Come to my house tonight." She whispered against his lips and grinned before she turned and walked out of the shack.

John chuckled quietly to himself and watched her walk out. He then cleaned up his mess, walking out of the shack and then approaching the barn, frowning some. He still felt so at fault... He puffed out a small sigh before he turned around and nearly fainted as Drew scared the absolute shit out of him, visibly jumping Drew laughed. John rolled his eyes discreetly before glancing back to the wreckage.

"I'm sorry about your barn here, Mister MacFarlane." He finally voiced.

"It's alright my boy, it's not the first bad thing to happen here it won't be the last." Drew replied and approached John, patting his shoulder. "But we have you to thank for saving our horses... Thank you, Mister Marston." He said and John shook his head.

"Your daughter saved my life... It was worth it." He replied and Drew nodded.

"Thank you for being so good to her, by the way." Drew added and looked over to John who discreetly tensed. "Everyone thinks she's a hardass and she is... But she's a woman, thank you for respecting her as one." He said and John felt his cheeks heating up a bit... He definitely treated her like a woman last night.

"Honestly Mister MacFarlane, you don't have to thank me for that." He muttered and cleared his throat.

"I just wanted you to know that if you ever needed something, we will do our best to provide." Drew stated and nodded before he motioned a small wave and departed from the barn.

John sighed of relief, he almost felt bad that Drew thought so highly of him even though he just dishonored his daughter. He walked out of the barn and then to the Telegraph Office, he could at least check to see if he had gotten anything from Marshal Johnson.

"Anything for John Marston?" He asked the clerk and watched him rifle through some received telegraphs, seeing him pull out a slip of paper.

"From Armadillo, just came in this morning." He said and John took the paper, looking over.

It seemed like Johnson was starting to get somewhere with Norman, he gave of the hideout for a few of his lowlife gang members but said nothing about Williamson... Good enough for now.

"Care to send anything back?" The clerk asked and John nodded, picking up a _Send Request_ form and a pen before beginning to write back, telling Johnson he would leave the ranch in the morning.

"Priority please." John said.

"That'll be six dollars." The clerk replied, John reached into his satchel and pulled out the cash, the criminals he killed compensated him greatly. "Should be sent within the hour." He then informed after receiving the money.

"Thank you." John said before walking out of the Office, he was sure Bonnie wouldn't be thrilled that he was leaving in the morning and he wasn't either but he had to finish what he started.

* * *

At around eight o'clock in the evening, Bonnie was home and her father had already gone to bed, while he was a strong man he was old and tired... She was trying to keep herself busy but she was desperately waiting for John to arrive. She was sitting in her room reading a book when there was a light knock on the back door, she jumped up immediately and scampered over to it, cracking it open slightly. Seeing John standing there she grinned and opened it up all the way, allowing him entry.

"Good evening, Miss MacFarlane." He mused and Bonnie chuckled.

"Ditto, Mister Marston." She replied, locking the back door behind her.

"Hope I didn't interrupt anything." He said and Bonnie shook her head.

"I was just reading." She said and shrugged her shoulders.

"... Are we free?" He then asked quietly and Bonnie beamed, nodding her head. "Good... Because I got a telegraph this morning." He said and watched Bonnie's face drain of color for a moment. "... I gotta leave first thing in the morning, don't know how long I'll be gone." He spilled and Bonnie looked away, trying to mask her disappointment. "... This is why I had reservations about last night..." He said and reached forward, caressing her cheek. "Because it'll always be like this..."

"John..." She mumbled and took his hand. "I may not like it... But I accept it." She said and smiled weakly. "... You're the one that has more to lose than anyone... Don't you worry about me." She assured and leaned upwards, kissing his cheek.

"... Suppose we'll just have to make tonight count then." He hummed and without warning, scooped Bonnie up into his arms, watching her gasp and cover her mouth to dampen the giggles.

John then began strolling towards the staircase, taking great care not to make any noise as he carried her towards her bedroom, gently kicking the door shut behind him in the dark. She leaned her head against his chest as he did so... He was such a strong man. When he laid her down on the bed though she suddenly pushed back just a little.

"Wait." She said and John paused. "... Can I be on top?" She then asked and John raised his brows, he would _not_ tell her no.

"You sure can." He chortled as he started to unbutton her blouse and she did the same to his shirt.

It didn't take long for the two to become undressed and this time, John was laying on his back. She was straddling his hips and while he was mostly erect, Bonnie figured that she could do some more, he had made her feel so amazing the night before, she wanted him to feel the same way. She remembered when she was being schooled in Armadillo as a girl and remembering a few of her older friends talking about _mouth things_. She wasn't experienced in the art but she remembered some of what they told her, specifically _no teeth._

John exhaled softly as Bonnie leaned down, kissing his neck and beginning to trail downwards. When she arrived at his groin she was slightly intimidated by his size... She reached forward and carefully wrapped her fingers around the length of his shaft and leaning downward, delicately running her tongue over the head and hearing John shudder. She smiled and slowly wrapped her lips around the head, suckling. John grunted and reached down, running his fingers through the expanse of her golden locks.

Bonnie took the encouragement and smiled as she then bobbed her head up and down, doing her best to go down as far as she could without gagging herself. Feeling his member flexing in her mouth she blushed deeply, moaning softly against him. John quickly propped himself up on his elbows so he could get a view of her in the moonlight. Soon though when Bonnie's jaw began to cramp she took her mouth off of John's member she sat up and wiped her mouth, grinning down at him as she felt her own genitals swell with excitement.

She then moved to straddle him once again, aiming him towards her entrance. Feeling him slip inside she took a breath, penetration was much easier this time around... Bonnie released it and gradually lowered herself until her hips were pressing against John's, she grinned down at him as he stared up at her with slight awe. She giggled at his dumbfounded expression and pushed him back down onto his back before she started rising up and calmly falling back down. She released a small moan and leaned her head back as she started her own pace but as John took ahold of her hips and began guiding her she reached up and covered her mouth, her cheeks ablaze with a fiery blush.

John couldn't help but groan softly and slightly move his hips to meet hers, one hand coming up to caress her breasts while she rode him. When he saw her covering her mouth to muffle her sounds he suddenly sat up and took her hand away. She met his gaze and quickly pressed her lips against his and wrapping her arms around his neck while he wrapped his own around her, holding her close as he bucked his hips into her. Feeling his husky breaths against her skin as they separated she clawed at his back, breaking his skin and hearing John moan due to the painful pleasure.

"J-John... I feel like I'm going to burst." She whimpered against him, desperately hanging on for the ride.

"Good..." John said in a slightly breathless fashion as he continued to guide her up and down roughly upon him.

Feeling the heat in his abdomen John quickly shifted their positions a little bit, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed so that he had some stability with his feet on the floor. Bonnie's orgasm hit her without much warning and she cried out, her walls clamping down onto John's member, milking it and coaxing John's stream to abruptly release within her. He inwardly cringed knowing that he came inside her, but there wasn't much else he could do about it. They panted, John's forehead resting against Bonnie's shoulder as she ran her hands through his hair and caught her breath. She didn't want him to leave...

"John... You make me feel so beautiful." She said as John pulled his head back from her shoulder, he reached up and caressed her cheek, kissing her lips.

"You are, Miss MacFarlane..." He chuckled softly, gently picking her up off of him, feeling him slip out of her he exhaled and wiped the sweat from his face, he shouldn't stay here again but before he could start redressing he felt Bonnie hand catch his shoulder as she got comfortable beneath the sheets.

"... Mind staying with me?" She asked.

"You sure that's a good idea?" He inquired glancing to the door.

"Y-You don't have to... But since you're leaving in the morning... It would just be nice." She said and ran her palm down his back, damn she was good.

"... I suppose it wouldn't hurt." He commented and Bonnie smiled, scooting over and allowing John to lay beside her.

Bonnie cuddled up to him as she had done the night before and he wrapped an arm around her. He missed things like this... A woman in his arms and the smell of passionate sex in the air. He ran his hand through her hair carefully and she sighed happily.

"... I might miss you a little bit." She chuckled quietly.

"Oh yeah? Only a little bit?" John chortled back.

"... Maybe a little more than that... If it's possible... Let me know you're not dead every once in a while? A letter or somethin' if you're gone for a while." She said as casually as she could.

"... I think I can manage that." He vowed and Bonnie felt some relief.

"Thank you... Th-This... Matters, I'd like to know you're alive." She said shyly and John smiled, hugging her close and shaking his head with a small chuckle.

"... I would never have thought that this would happen." He informed.

"Do you regret it?" She asked simply.

"Not at all." He said with no indication of hesitation.

"Good... Goodnight John." She whispered tiredly.

"... Goodnight Bonnie." He responded and she smiled discreetly before she fell asleep in his arms, his own unconsciousness soon following.

* * *

When John woke up, it was still dark, thankfully because he had to get riding soon. Looking over, Bonnie was still peacefully asleep in his arms. Even though he didn't want her to wake up, he figured it would be rude to sneak out of here a second time and leave. He carefully unraveled her from him and when he was almost dressed he reached over and gently shook her, watching her eyes flutter she yawned softly.

"W-What time is it?" She asked.

"I don't know but it's time for me to go." He said and she frowned.

"Oh... Well, mind if I walk you out?" She asked and John shook his head.

"Of course not." He replied and she sat up.

She quickly slipping on a nightgown and a robe to cover her arms and most of her legs and then some house shoes before she and John snuck down the stairs. When they got to the back door, Bonnie flipped the switched the back porch light on. The two then slipped out the door and she caught his hand, he glanced back to her and she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. She could only look up at him and he calmly brought her closer and wrapped his arms around her for comfort. He knew she didn't want to get sappy and he didn't either but he would miss her...

"... Try to keep yourself out of trouble... C-Cause if you get shot again... I won't be there." She managed to utter in his arms and he chuckled softly at her humor but he could tell her voice was wavering out of worry.

"I'll be fine." He comforted and pulled back so he could look down at her.

There was a lot Bonnie wanted to say... Don't go... I'll miss you... But she knew she had no right to say these things. He was not hers... He belonged to someone else and she knew by saying those things she would mess up what they had... Whatever it was that they had.

"... You better be." She whispered, her eyes filled with tears.

She hated herself for letting John potentially ruining his marriage... For potentially being the _cause_ of ruining his marriage should his wife ever find out... She hated being this emotional. John reached up and wiped the tears as she fell, Bonnie quickly looked away.

"I-I'm sorry I don't know why I'm-"

"If it helps... I'll miss you." John consoled and Bonnie swallowed the lump in her throat as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, when he pulled back he backed away from her, though he felt somber, he remained strong so Bonnie didn't have to be. "... Goodbye, Bonnie." He said and Bonnie blinked more tears rolling down her face as he began walking away.

"... Goodbye John." She whispered and took a breath walking back into the house.


	7. Chapter 7

Bonnie sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she worked effortlessly on the ranch. Her demeanor had sunk slightly and she seemed much more withdrawn. She glanced over at the gate... Hoping to see John riding through, though she knew that hoping for something so ridiculous was more than foolish. John had been gone for about a week and she worried constantly. John had an undesirable and rather dangerous job to do...

"Bonnie!" Drew snapped and Bonnie jumped, turning her attention over as her father approached.

"I-I'm sorry, daddy, what is it?" She asked.

"What's goin' on with you? Ever since that outlaw boy left you've been aloof... Did you become smitten with him or something?" He scoffed and Bonnie's face scrunched up.

"No." She spat, and her expression was enough to keep her father from prying.

"Well... Amos and the farmhands need your help with the cattle, ours got mixed up with another ranch we need to separate them." Drew explained and Bonnie groaned.

"What do we pay those boys for?" She grumbled and quickly began walking towards her horse.

Riding out, she replayed her father's words in her head, had she been aloof? She didn't remember being despondent but she was definitely depressed.

"Help!" A sudden call broke her concentration and Bonnie pulled back roughly on her reigns.

Looking over and noticing a tipped stagecoach she raised her brows and quickly kicked her horse in the direction. When she arrived she saw a man on the ground, a black eye and trying to get up.

"S-Sir oh my gosh what happened?" She asked as she quickly dismounted her horse and kneeled by him, helping him sit up.

"Some goddamn bandits... M-Made off with my horses and my money..." He groaned and coughed as Bonnie looked him over for other injuries.

"What's your name?" She then questioned as she gently touched his eye, watching him shrink away slightly.

"... Charles." He replied and allowed her to gently feel for any chips in his skull.

"Looks like you've busted a blood vessel..." She muttered.

"W-What's your name, Miss..?"

"MacFarlane... Bonnie MacFarlane." She muttered.

"That's interesting... Woulda thought you might've said Marston... Seeing how cozy you are with him." The man said and Bonnie paused, glancing at the other's face a sudden smirk plastered on his lips.

"... How do you..?" She murmured suddenly standing and reaching for her weapon.

"Don't even think about it." Charles hissed and stood, the stagecoach doors flying open and four more men climbing out.

Fuck.

"W-What do you want with me?" She asked shakily.

"... Drop it." Charles demanded, pointing to her weapon as three more guns were trained on her. "Drop it!" He snarled and Bonnie jumped but slowly reached down and took ahold of her pistol and tossed it towards him. "... Seems you and our old friend... Been getting a little close hm?" He asked and Bonnie pinched her lips shut in a thin line. "You seem to be at least... Him walkin' out of your house at all hours of the night... Walkin' out in your undergarments... He fuckin' you?" He asked and Bonnie took a breath.

"He and I-" A sudden slap was given across her cheek as she sunk to her knees.

"Don't lie to me." Charles said but then looked to the other men and smirked. "... Maybe we should see what John likes about you hm..? Got a tight cunt?" He asked, kneeling down in front of her, her glare suddenly landing upon his own. "... Let me tell you right now little missy..." He crowed. "If you think about suddenly becoming a hero... I will make sure to gut you like a fish after fucking you into oblivion... Got it?" He asked.

"... Yes." She whispered quietly and Charles grinned before he stood up and without a warning, he drove the butt of his gun into her face, sufficiently knocking her unconscious.

* * *

John felt like a glorified errand boy, he was running around desperately trying to get people needed to take Bill down, there was a drunk who reminded him somewhat of his father, ironically his name was Irish who was _supposed_ to be supplying a machine gun, Seth a filthy grave robber who had connections in getting into Fort Mercer without an army assault, West Dickins a con-man who took advantage of the average working man who was willing to use his stagecoach as a _Trojan Horse._ Marshal Johnson and his deputies were all the guns he needed if the plan went accordingly but these people were a fucking mess... Thankfully Norman was in captivity, shorting Bill a vital asset.

The outlaw rubbed his eyes tiredly, his expression reading a subtle rage as he strolled through Armadillo. He seemed to be a favorite by local prostitutes but even in times of great stress, he wouldn't sink that low... Not that there was anything wrong with prostitutes.

"Hey honey why don't you come by and see me... I can rub that look off your face." A supple brunette woman crooned as he trudged by.

"No thank you, ma'am." He said politely.

However, despite readying to lay down the law with Johnson so to speak, he walked up towards the door and furrowed his brows as he heard Mister MacFarlane speaking in a panic-stricken fashion.

"I don't have a clue! Alright, but it's got to be something to do with that government boy!" He cried.

"We'll talk to him, find out what he knows." Johnson tried calming Drew down as John walked inside, Mister MacFarlane's gaze was set ablaze towards him.

"Fuckin' is. Where is she, Marston?!" He snarled and stormed towards him.

"Who?" John asked and stepping backward defensively.

"Who? My daughter, you fucking scum. Where's Bonnie?" He roared and John tilted his head, Bonnie?

"I don't know. I haven't seen her since after the fire. Why?" He asked, his heart beginning to speed up, fear beginning to wrap around him like a blanket.

"Why? Because she hasn't been seen since yesterday morning. I don't think I can cope. If I lose another child-"

"Now Drew, nobody's lost anything yet. I'm sure she's fine-"

"Oh, Mister Marshal! Mr. Marshal! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" A sudden voice howled from outside, everything happened so quickly, Bonnie was gone?

"Who the hell's that?" Johnson asked softly, the small posse walking out and noting another outlaw on horseback.

"Even better. Good day, Mr. MacFarlane." He cackled.

"Get down from that horse, boy, or I'll shoot." The Marshal warned.

"I wouldn't recommend that, mister. Not if Drew MacFarlane wants to see his Bonnie back in one piece. Hey, Mr. MacFarlane, it's a nice girl you got there." The outlaw chortled, John's breath hitching in his throat, he had to remain professional.

"Get down from there!" Drew raged.

"You know, part of me's got to thinking I should just marry her myself. Give her a baby and that." The man taunted, a vein beginning to pop out of John's neck, the man making _special_ eye-contact with John, he knew this was revving John's engine.

"What do you want?" Johnson inquired.

"That's better... I want Norman Deek. I want him set free. Then you get your daughter back, mister." The outlaw negotiated and John bit his tongue subtly.

"We don't do deals with outlaws, boy." Johnson growled.

"Yeah, you do! Let's not waste each other's time pretending otherwise. Whole government themselves ain't much more than a bunch of crooks. This is the land of opportunity, mister, and I'm giving you the opportunity to get your daughter back before fifteen friends of mine take out all their anger and their loneliness on her." The stranger retaliated.

"Where the hell is she?" Drew seemed to beg.

"Bring Deek up to Tumbleweed in a couple of hours. And don't go getting no funny ideas, or I will slit that whore's throat myself! You boys have a pleasant afternoon..." The bandit provoked and rode off quickly.

"What do we do?" Marshal Johnson asked.

"We do as he says. You and me, Marshal. Mr. MacFarlane, I'll get you your daughter back. I owe her that." John promised seriously, he would die before he would let any more harm come to Bonnie.

"Please do..." Drew murmured.

"Hurry up, boy. Let's go. Quick as you can deputy, and make sure he's tied on good. Stay with me, Marston." Johnson ordered.

"I won't let anything happen to her, sir." John gave his word and reassuringly rested his palm on Drew's shoulder as Deek was hoisted onto Johnson's horse.

* * *

Bonnie woke up in a dark room, her head was pounding and she squinted at the lamp above her head. Her blouse was disheveled and her belt was gone but she was clothed, when she went to sit up she felt something strapping her down. Looking over she noticed her hands were tied and she suddenly felt her heart jump into her throat, she didn't know where she was... She remembered being struck but before she could panic a few men walked into the room.

"Look who's awake." One crooned... A familiar man.

"You..." She growled quietly.

"Sorry sweetheart... Gotta do what you have to do." the blackeyed man chortled and stood at the foot of her bed.

"W-Why?" She asked.

"Well seeing how... Comfortable you are with John..." Charles purred, moving to Bonnie's side and running resting his hand upon her breast.

Bonnie glared up at him and wiggled a bit as he started sliding his hand down her stomach, opening the rest of her buttons as he did so. His hands were nothing like John's... They were hard, rough... Disgusting.

"P-Please don't..." She whispered quietly, hearing the other two men who were watching chuckle softly.

"But why..? You seem to like people like us..." Charles mused.

"John is _nothing..._ Like you." Bonnie seethed.

"You think you know John Marston? You know how many people he's killed? You don't know nothin' about John... You did this to yourself baby girl... But I have to admit... Couldn't have done it without that little farmhand of yours, mustache I'm sure you know him." He informed and Bonnie;s eyes widened.

She knew Amos disliked John but would he go so far to surrender her to creeps like these just to get back at John?

"Oh did I strike a nerve? Not like it matters... Once John is dead you will be too... But how about we have a little fun before then?" The man asked, Bonnie's eyes filling with tears as he climbed on top of her and began undoing Bonnie's pants and pulling them down.

"S-Stop..." She whimpered and began struggling, suddenly arching her knee up and striking him in the groin.

Her assaulter gasped and held his now bruised testicles before Bonnie would scoot up and free one of her legs, kicking him in the face, hearing his body slam to the floor. His friends quickly swarmed Bonnie and pointed their guns at her face.

"You dumb cunt!" Charles screamed as he got up holding his already blackened eye.

He shoved one of the other men out of the way and began bashing away at her face, holding her throat with another hand, sufficiently choking her. When he was finally finished, Bonnie gasped for air and coughed.

"... I'm gonna make it hurt." He growled and straddled her hips again, roughly ripping her shirt completely open and forcing her legs open as he took out a knife, but before anything could take place, another man walked into the room.

"They brought Deek... Marston's with'em." He said and Charles cursed under his breath, reluctantly releasing Bonnie.

"Tie the bitch up... Kill her if she tries anything..." He murmured and turned to the door.

"John... Will bleed you like a hog..." Bonnie sneered, her eyes still feisty as she watched her captor turn to her.

"Looks like we'll see... He's got a nice welcome party waiting for him..."

* * *

John and Johnson rode up to Tumbleweed, definitely a crooks paradise, it was abandoned and far enough outside of town that the law didn't bother checking it out unless under special circumstances like this. John's heart was racing, fear was plaguing him. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Bonnie, he knew this was his fault and the fact that he had an affair with her made Bonnie even more valuable to Bill... John would make sure he died slowly.

He got off his horse as did Johnson but John placed a hand on Johnson's shoulder.

"I'll do this." He said. "Just be behind me in case this goes south, this is my fault..." He said.

"Wanna be a hero..? You just wanna hog all the glory... Cuz you were fuckin' the farmer's daughter..." Deek chortled, Johnson raised his brows and glanced to John whose expression hardened, now was not the time to set his reputation straight.

"Let's go Norman." John murmured, not willing to fuck his chances at getting Bonnie back by losing his temper with this low-life, placing him on his feet and roughly shoving him forward.

"I bet my boys are making her _real_ comfortable... Just like you did..." Normal cackled again and John shoved him again, but before another word could be spewed, Norman felt John's rifle roughly pressing against his back.

"Say another word... Give me a reason to kill you Norman." John said oddly calm and Norman bit his tongue, while he wanted to believe that John wouldn't waste Bonnie's life, the fact John seemed so calm it was eerie... He had a good poker face.

Johnson and Jonah followed from a distance as John neared the other bandits, Bonnie was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Bonnie? I thought we had a deal..." John hissed.

"When you're wrong! We don't make deals with the law." The bandit informed.

"It's a trap! John take cover!" Johnson yelled as the outlaws suddenly pumped Norman full of led.

Thankfully Norman made a good human shield, John dove behind an old broken wagon as more bullets whizzed by. He didn't care about anything at the moment... He just had to find Bonnie. Beginning to shoot back, one by one the outlaws fell.

"Where's Bonnie you bastards!?" He roared and moved forward.

Hearing a woman screaming on the far side of town John peeked around the corner of an empty house he saw them dragging out Bonnie as she kicked and screamed, suddenly putting her up to a few posts of wood, tying a noose around her neck and kicking out whatever she was standing on.

"Bonnie!" He yelled and raced forward, she should have been dead already but in their haste, the loop wasn't tied right so it didn't snap her neck.

He pointed his gun and shot, uncaring that he was being fired at from all sides, if he took his time Bonnie would choke to death. Taking out his knife as he got close to her he cut the rope quickly and catching her in his arms, wincing as he felt a bullet puncture his left bicep but he quickly ran her to cover as Johnson and his deputies helped take care of the remaining thugs.

Bonnie hacked and coughed as she leaned against the old stagecoach. When the bullets stopped flying John stood and looked around before he looked to Bonnie and kneeled next to her.

"Bonnie? Bonnie, can you hear me?" He asked, reaching in and carefully taking hold of her cheeks, she looked up, tears running down her face and launching herself into his arms.

"Y-Yes I can hear you... Y-You stupid man..." She whimpered and John sighed in relief, wrapping his arms around her petite, beat up form and just hugged her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Miss MacFarlane..." He said and buried his face into her hair.

He then pulled back, looking her over. John was enraged as he saw her broken and ripped apart shirt, her loosened brassier and her unbuckled pants but she was intact. He then looked at her face, seeing her swollen eye, he would need to take her to the doctor but for now, he leaned in and kissed her forehead before scooping her up gently into his arms.

"I got you now..." He whispered to her.

Bonnie's thin body was shaking as she weakly wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned her head against his chest and tried regulating her breathing, he approached Marshal Johnson and the white-haired man looked the two up and down, a slightly suspicious look in his eyes.

"... Was what he said true?" He asked John, not going into specifics for Bonnie's sake.

John didn't say anything but his eyes spoke for him in the way he looked down at Bonnie as she closed her eyes so she didn't have to see the dead bodies, eventually though, he spoke.

"... Not now, Marshal Johnson." He said, now was not the time, thankfully Johnson respected that and nodded his head. "I'll meet you back at the station but I need to get her to the doctor." He said.

"You need to get yourself there too." Johnson said and motioned to John's arm.

John looked to his bicep and grimaced a bit, amidst trying to forget Bonnie he forgot that he was shot. He knew his arm was beginning to give out now that his adrenaline was wearing off and Bonnie looked up at him, but John would not fail her.

"I will... I just need to make sure she's safe..." He explained and Johnson nodded.

"You sure you'll be alright?" the Marshal inquired as he mounted his horse.

"Yeah, I'll see you around." John said and carefully hoisted Bonnie onto his own horse.

It was then that Bonnie saw all the blood making its way down John's arm.

"J-John you're bleeding." She gasped as he hopped onto Harlow.

"I'll be fine once we get to the doctor..." He replied and wrapped an arm around her waist before kicking at Harlow's sides.

Bonnie didn't say anything the whole ride back into Armadillo, but John wasn't surprised. He didn't know what to say... He knew what he wanted to ask but he feared the answer too much to do so... If she were raped. Before they reached Armadillo, John slowed Harlow to a trot so that he could take his hands off the reigns. He quickly took off his denim vest and put it around Bonnie's shoulders and instead of going around to the front he lead Harlow to the back door. He knew Bonnie wouldn't want to be seen in public this way.

John slid off of Harlow, his shirt now half soaked in blood as he took Bonnie into his arms again.

"I-I can walk..." She contested.

"I know you can." He replied, managing to send a small smile down to her.

John then opened the back door, Dr. Johnston jumping.

"Sir you can't be back he- Miss MacFarlane? Mister Marston?" He asked in a confused fashion. "Dear god what happened!?" He asked as he saw all the blood on Marston's clothing and how beat up Bonnie was.

"She was kidnapped and-"

"And I'm fine... Please sew up his arm." Bonnie interrupted, and John sighed.

* * *

John waited out in the waiting room for Bonnie for what felt like days, he knew she would need to be inspected top to bottom... His arm was stitched and bandaged after the bullet was dug out of his arm, which wasn't fun. As he sat in the chair he thought for a moment, remembering that her clothes were shredded. He hummed softly and walked out of the doctor's office, it was early evening, maybe he was lucky enough that the stores were still open.

Walking into a women's clothing store was... A tad more than uncomfortable for him, and seeing the woman at the counter automatically looked fearfully at him he held his hands up and she looked him up and down seriously, the dried blood on his sleeve not doing him any favors.

"I'm not here for trouble ma'am..." He said honestly and the woman seemed to calm down a bit. "I promise... I'm here cause a lady friend of mine needs a coat." He said and the lady visibly sighed in relief.

"What kind of coat?" She asked, approaching the counter.

"Uh... Something that will keep her covered and warm on the ride home... She... Had a rough fall and tore her shirt and I just want her to feel comfortable in public." He explained and she nodded, pausing for a moment she walked over to a shelf and slowly waded through the fabrics.

"Any idea on her size?" She asked.

"Honestly no... She's small though, thin and... Elegant." He said, unable to stop the small smile from creeping across his face, however looking up he noticed the woman smiling softly towards him.

"Sounds like a lucky woman... Will this do?" she asked and pulled out a thin overcoat for cool summer nights, it was a cream color and it extended down to her calves, it was perfect for something to get Bonnie home.

"It'll be great ma'am, thank you, mind bagging it for me?" He asked.

"Of course not, that'll be seven dollars." She replied and John pulled out the money needed and walked back to the doctor's office with a bag in his hand.

When he walked in, he watched the doctor walk out to grab some medicine.

"Hey, doc... How is she?" He asked softly.

"... Honestly... I don't know. Physically she'll be fine but..." The doctor replied and John sighed, nodding quietly, but after a few more minutes the doctor poked his head out. "John? She wants to see you." He said and John swallowed but nodded and walked into the back room.

Thankfully the doctor left the two to talk by themselves and he saw Bonnie sitting down on a table in medical garments, the doctor had her remove her torn up clothing. He placed the bag near the table and sat next to her.

"... You wanted to see me?" He asked, reaching over and taking her hand, but she took a few moments before even responding.

"John... A-Amos sold me out..." She whispers and John tilted his head.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"He... He told them that you and I were... Having an affair... I-I was on my way to attend to the cattle outside the ranch a-and this man was on the ground... I went to help him and he revealed to me that he knew about us and that Amos put them up to it... I don't know what to do... I want to just tell the Sheriff... B-But part of me... Wants to deal with it myself after what those dogs put me through." She snarled and reached up and wiped her eyes as tears began streaming again.

John quickly stood and reached up, running his hands over his chin as his blood began to boil.

"That son of a bitch." He growled. "I'll kill him." He sneered.

"John." Bonnie said and John looked over. "Please... I need to think about this before I do anything rash... Please don't say anything to my father I need to do it." She pleaded.

"You want me to just pretend I don't know about this? After what happened to you-"

"I know what happened to me..." She snarled and looked up at John, slightly surprising him, and the question he had feared most popping up into his head once again.

"... What did happen to you?" He finally asked, the dread evident in his gaze and Bonnie sighed.

"... I got knocked out and woke up... A few of them tried... W-With me but... I managed to show them I wasn't a damsel who would put up with their disgusting hands on me." She said and John sighed in relief, but he was still enraged at the thought of Bonnie being fondled by another man, especially without her consent.

"Are you done here..?" John then asked and Bonnie nodded.

"I suppose I'll get dressed with whatever is left of my clothing." She sighed but John quickly swiped the bag and handed it to her.

"Put this on over your clothes... It'll be dark by the time we get home... So this might help." He revealed and Bonnie finally perked up a bit, looking into the bag and gasping softly.

"John... You didn't have to-"

"I know... I'll wait for you." He said and reached forward, taking her hand noting the rope marks from the bindings, he pulled her hand up and planted a kiss on her wrist, Bonnie smiled and nodded before John released her hand and walked out.

When Bonnie walked out, the coat seemed to mold to her body perfectly and covered all of her exposed flesh from before. John then escorted her out to Harlow and helped her mount him before he climbed atop of the horse behind her. She leaned back against him and rested one of her hands resting against his legs as he lead Harlow back towards the ranch.

John was right, it was dark by the time they returned to the ranch, Amos and the ranch hands talking and laughing by the corral, the bunch all gasping when they saw the state of Bonnie.

"Miss MacFarlane! Are you alright?" Amos asked and ran towards her.

"I'm fine Amos... Please leave us alone." She murmured.

"B-But Miss MacFarlane please just tell me what happened-"

"She said... Leave us alone." John hissed and stepped in front of Bonnie, shielding her from view and glaring the other down with such intensity he actually said nothing as John lead Bonnie into the house and shutting the door behind them.

"Bonnie!" Drew gasped as he saw her walk in with John, racing over to her and enveloping her in his arms, trying to keep his composure.

"Hey, daddy..." Bonnie said tiredly and hugged him, he then looked to John and after releasing Bonnie he suddenly hugged John to his surprise and John stiffly hugged Drew back.

"Thank you, Marston... I-I'm sorry for earlier..." He thanked and released John.

"Don't worry about it Mister MacFarlane..." John replied and Bonnie smiled in relief.

"Daddy... Mind if John sticks around for a little while..? He needs a new change of clothes and... I need to speak to you... John if you want to stick around to speak with my father about... You know... But you don't have to. At least let me get you a new shirt." Bonnie said and John nodded.

"I don't mind... I told you I would help you deal with the problem I want to know what you two plan to do about it." He said and Drew furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Come on daddy... Let's go talk." She uttered and walked with Drew and John into the living room.

* * *

"That son of a bitch!" Drew yelled, John smirking subtly since he said the same thing. "We need to kill the bastard!" He spat.

"Daddy we can't just-"

"After he had my daughter assaulted you're damn right I can!" Drew said and turned to John. "Marston, you don't mind getting your hands dirty do you?" He then asked.

"No sir..." He replied but Bonnie's face scrunched up.

"Dad how dare you!" She scoffed. "I refuse to just expect John to do this because of what everyone thinks of him!" She argued.

"Miss MacFarlane I honestly don't mind..." He interjected.

"John _I mind_." She replied and Drew sighed.

"What do you want to do?" He then asked.

"I just... I don't want someone's death to be because of me..." Bonnie said and both Drew and John stared at her in a dumbfounded fashion. "I know it doesn't make sense just... Please let me sleep on it tonight... John, walk with me?" She asked and John looked to Drew for silent permission, after the older man nodded, John stood and walked with her out the back door.

The walk was tense, John following Bonnie and sitting next to her on the swing as they had done when John's feelings for Bonnie began to develop. His eyes started darting around and when he saw that they were out of sight out of mind he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and felt her lean into his form. He felt ultimately at fault...

"... I'm sorry this happened." He finally said.

"I am too..." She replied and looked up to him. "But there's nothing we can do about it... So... Apologizing and dreading over it won't do us any good." She said and John chuckled softly.

"... I will dread about it until something's done with Amos... Deal?" He asked and Bonnie sighed and nodded.

"Deal..." She said and John looked down to her and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers for a moment. "... I missed you." She then said.

"... I missed you too..." He affirmed and ran a gloved hand over her hair.

He would make a point to make sure that anyone who hurt Bonnie paid very dearly... He cared about her too much to turn a blind eye.


	8. Chapter 8

John stayed close to Bonnie for a week, and after Drew found out that Amos was the reason Bonnie was kidnapped he even gave John permission to stay in the house in the spare room downstairs, he didn't want to risk something happening again. While it gave John and Bonnie more opportunity to spend time with one another, John felt more and more uncomfortable with the thought of Amos going unpunished.

However, with Bonnie riding on top of him at the moment it made it hard to focus on it... After yet another strong orgasm which was beginning to happen nightly, the golden-haired mistress laid beside him. She nuzzled up to his side and running his hand over her back as he leaned his head back. Her eye had healed up nicely, for the most part, there were still a few dark red marks due to healing blood vessels but most of her injuries were gone and she resumed work but John stayed close, making sure Amos stayed far.

"That was great." He panted and Bonnie smiled.

"It was." She whispered and rubbed John's chest.

"I hate to bring this up now and ruin the moment..." John then said and looked over to her. "... But what are we going to do about Amos?" He asked.

"... I want to talk to him about it I just don't know what to say... I've trusted him for so long... It's still shocking to me, part of me doesn't want to believe it." She explained and John understood.

"... You know I can't stay and protect you forever... I want to but-"

"I know John... Thank you for being so patient I'll... Do it tomorrow." Bonnie responded and John leaned over and kissed her head.

"I'll be with you..." He stated and Bonnie seemed to be relieved.

He felt Bonnie breathe evenly as she fell asleep in his arms. John felt for her in so many ways, he knew what it was like to lose all the trust in someone that he had trusted with his life for them only to throw you to the dogs...

* * *

John yawned as he walked out of the house. Amos and Bonnie were talking and she looked visibly uncomfortable, he didn't waste time in walking towards her. He managed to keep his anger to himself but when he approached, seeing Amos' face scrunch up slightly at his presence he glanced to Bonnie and raised his brows. She sighed, knowing she had a very hard job to do now.

"Hey, boys, why don't you help me with the cattle?" She asked, after taking a breath.

"What for?"Amos asked curiously.

"Been hearing about wolves moving into the area, if there really is a pack I'm gonna need help hauling the bodies back." She explained and John looked over to her.

"I don't mind." John said and the three of them mounted their horses.

The ride was tensely silent, and John had noted that over the past few days, Amos had been trying more than usual to speak to Bonnie by herself, he probably felt guilty after seeing what had happened to her when she was taken. He was sure to be there, half of the reason to make sure Bonnie was safe and the other half just to piss Amos off which he did every time.

"Miss MacFarlane, the cattle aren't out this way are they?" Amos finally asked as they approached the tree that had been zapped by lightning when John had stopped the stampede.

"... No." Bonnie muttered as she dismounted her horse, John quickly doing the same and walking to her side to help her, to which she quickly swatted his hands away,

Amos furrowed his brows but he followed the others actions, getting off his horse and eyeing John suspiciously.

"Miss MacFarlane, what's going on?" He asked, John glanced back to Bonnie as she hung her head slightly.

"... Is it true?" She suddenly asked and Amos tilted his head.

"Is what true-"

"You know what!" Bonnie screeched. "This!" She said pointing to her face, most of the bruising and cuts were healed but the evidence of what happened to her remained, John stepped away from Bonnie to give her some space. "The fact I was violated! Was that you!? They told me it was, is it true?" She asked, almost as if begging for it to be false.

Amos opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out for a moment, he turned away and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I-I didn't tell them to hurt you or anythin' like that Miss MacFarlane! I swear it..." He finally said, turning back to her and John. "... I just... I just wanted this bastard out of our lives!" He barked, pointing at John who remained silent.

"So it's true..." She whispered and looked to John, meeting his gaze, Amos took notice of this and suddenly drew his gun and pointing it at John.

"You wanna talk about truth?" He asked and Bonnie gasped, John looked over to him rather dully this wasn't the first time nor would it be the last time he had a gun pointed at him. "... You're fucking her, right?" He asked and Bonnie bit her tongue, her eyes widening as John started slowly taking steps towards Amos, he figured now would be a good time to piss Amos off... That way the gun wasn't pointed in Bonnie's direction at all.

"... I am." John replied softly, Bonnie looking at him in shock of the confession. "... But I don't recall you having the right to be angry about that... You ain't her husband... Her father... You ain't nothing." He spat.

"You better stop right there John... I _will_ kill you." Amos growled.

"Amos!" Bonnie yelled as John continued walking. "Amos stop! Put the gun down!" She ordered.

"Miss MacFarlane I have to protect you from people like him! Goddammit, John!" He roared and pulled the trigger, watching the bullet puncture the floor near him, then referencing his sidearm. "Take out the gun and toss it that way." He commanded and motioned to his left.

John stopped walking and did as he was told, slowly taking out the gun, even going as far as to empty the bullets out of the gun before he tossed the pistol, John was only about five feet away from Amos now. The other didn't waste time in racing forward and smacking John's jaw with the butt of his gun, which definitely caught him off guard.

"John!" Bonnie cried and started running over to him, but Amos roughly shoved her away.

"I'm going to fucking kill you... Just like the way you deserve..." He snarled and loaded the bullet in his revolver.

"... You won't kill me..." John taunted as he laid on the ground and looked up at Amos.

However when a bullet was finally fired, John jumped but opened his eyes and Amos gasped, looking down, blood beginning to soak his shirt and he fell to his knees, nearly on top of John who scooted away quickly and looked over, Bonnie's barrel smoking and she seemed... Horrified was the most appropriate term. When Amos finally fell she looked from the gun to the body and back to her gun, her hand beginning to tremble. John quickly got up and rubbed his jaw as he approached Bonnie. She had never shot another human being... The realization that not only did she end another person's life but she ended the life of someone who she used to entrust her own life too... It washed over her as John stopped in front of her.

She dropped her gun and covered her eyes, her knees feeling weak as John caught her when she went to collapse. He just held her as she sobbed... Making sure she didn't look at the corpse.

"It was him or me." He whispered to her, trying to comfort her.

"I-I... I know..." She whimpered and wrapped her arms around John's neck.

"Don't look." He instructed. "I'll take care of all of it..." He assured and lead Bonnie back to her horse. "Just go home... I'll meet you there when I'm done with this." He instructed.

"John are you sure you're okay?" She asked, seeing the slight welt on his cheek.

"I'll be fine, but you need to get out of here before anyone investigates the gunfire." He said seriously and Bonnie bit her lip but quickly kicked at her horse's sides to hightail it away.

John looked over to Amos' body. Bonnie was a good shot under pressure, he knew she had dealt with a lot of vermin and an occasional cattle rustler, but the look in her eyes, he knew that she had never really had to shoot another person before, but the body was his priority for now. He didn't have a shovel... The next best thing, he felt kind of awful thinking of his but he didn't have a choice. Bonnie _was_ honest when she said there was a wolf pack in the area... Looking at Amos' now rider-less horse... There was only one real option that was quicker than the alternative.

Taking his rifle he took off his denim vest and carefully placed it over the other horse's eyes, he wanted it to be unaware, though he knew that truly the horse was unaware... He was doing this for his own benefit, he didn't like killing without a reason in his older age, he never _enjoyed_ it but... He felt even worse about it now.

* * *

John rode back in the early evening, once he saw the wolves from afar beginning to hone in on the bloodied scene, he rode back, his vest was caked in blood... He would need a good washing, but he placed it in the saddle back to keep it from being seen. Bonnie was sitting on the porch, she stood up quickly when she saw him and jogged over to him.

"John..?" She asked quietly.

"It was taken care of... I told you it would be fine." He said softly as well.

"Where's your..?" She murmured motioning to her chest.

He leads Harlow to a post and hitched him carefully taking out the rolled fabric out, Bonnie gasped as seeing the blood-soaked garment.

"It's nothing... I just... Had to draw in a crowd." He said and Bonnie furrowed his brows in confusion.

"The wolves." He clarified and Bonnie nodded, but she went pale just as quickly.

"J-John..." She murmured and John quickly began walking with her back to the house.

Once in the privacy of the farmhouse, John wrapped an arm around Bonnie's shoulders and pulled her in for a tight hug.

"I... I feel so guilty and I feel so stupid for feeling guilty..." She sniffed and hugged John.

"Shh... I understand." He hushed softly and lead her to the sofa so the two could sit down. "That was your first time killing someone, wasn't it?" He asked, acknowledging the slight elephant in the room.

"... Y-Yes." Bonnie responded. "... I-I always thought if I were to kill someone it would feel... Not good but, okay? Whoever I shot would have deserved it, and I know that Amos deserved it I just..." Bonnie sighed.

"He did deserve it..." John stated seriously and ran a hand through her hair. "But I'm used to this... I know the consequences... I know what it feels like, I'm numb to it now..." He explained and Bonnie seemed to shudder.

"I don't know how you do it... No offense." She replied and John shrugged as he leaned over, kissing her head.

"None taken... I wanted to keep this part of my life away from people I care about... People like you, but it seems like no matter how much I try to straighten myself out... I'll always bring those I love down." He sighed, Bonnie's heart stopped for a moment and she glanced over at him, he seemed not to realize what he had said and she would not ruin this by pointing it out, she just went with it.

"... I can always use some excitement... I regret nothing John." She replied and placed a hand on his thigh.

John looked over and managed to smile at her, reaching up with his free hand he ran his gloved fingers over her cheek and met her brilliant blue gaze.

"... I adore you." He snorted, chuckling since she always knew how to make him feel less shitty about himself.

Bonnie giggled and leaned in, pressing her lips firmly against her lovers and ran her own and up through his thick coarse hair and tossed his hat aside. John raised his brows at her sudden audaciousness while she smirked. He was certain she wasn't quite in the mood but some attention was always welcome... Bonnie climbed onto his lap and straddled his hips. She leaned in and began to kiss his lips, reaching up and beginning to caress his cheeks while she felt his palms rest upon her waist, slowly traveling down to grope her rear.

Yes... This was always welcome.

* * *

After the day was done, John said his discreet goodnight to Bonnie in front of her father and offered to stay in the shack since Amos was dealt with but Drew trusted him enough to allow him to keep using the spare bedroom... He thought that maybe Bonnie wouldn't want to have sex tonight after the events of th morning but at the small rap of his door, to his surprise, he sat up.

"I'm up." He called softly and Bonnie walked in, dressed in a rather adorable pink nightgown, she seemed a bit shy tonight.

"I-I'm sorry John... I just realized that I've kinda gotten used to sleeping with you... I know I shouldn't but... Wanna sleep in my room tonight?" She offered.

"... As in just sleeping, right?" He asked, making sure he wouldn't misconstrue her offer.

"... Yes, i-if you don't want to-"

"Of course I do..." He interrupted, watching Bonnie smile in relief and blush. "... Lead the way, Miss MacFarlane." He said in a slightly flirtatious fashion, earning a small chortle from the woman as he followed her.

The two slipped into bed and Bonnie slithered up to John's side and she rested her head on his chest. Feeling his heartbeat and breathing beneath her she felt a lullaby against her.

"... Thank you for this..." She whispered and John ran his hand up and down her back.

"... It's my pleasure." He replied and felt her slowly slip away to sleep.

John laid in Bonnie's bed that night... Knowing that the next day, now that Amos was taken care of... That he now had to go after Bill Williamson and leave the woman he was attached to once again. Glancing down at the woman asleep in his arms he held her closely... He felt nothing that resembled guilt or regret... When he looked at her... He just saw her... And nothing but her.

He knew how dangerous this was now... Bonnie was no longer a woman who he was having fun with on the side... He was falling in love with her. Remembering the sheer _fear_ and torturous panic that he had felt when he realized Bonnie was capture and the despair he felt when he thought she had been raped. He sighed and leaned his head back... She meant so much to him and he was so afraid she would get hurt again or worse...

He felt devastated knowing he had to leave and he felt selfish for wanting to stay... But he had a lot of thinking to do and he had to finish what he started, even if in the end... He came back to Bonnie.

* * *

The next morning when John woke up, it was bright for once... And looking over, Bonnie was still comfortably in his arms. But now was the time to go get his cavalry and leave the woman who had his heart in the palm of her hand. Reaching up with his free hand, John rubbed his face tiredly and reached over and gently shaking Bonnie awake.

"Hm..?" She murmured quietly.

"It's morning, Miss MacFarlane." He yawned and looked over, watching her wake up he couldn't help but smile, he would love this view every day.

"It is..?" She asked, seeming disappointed.

"It is." He retorted and sat up, scratching his head softly and looking over to her and seeing her smile up at him, though it seemed sad.

"I know you have to leave." She said, finally sitting up as well, her hair flowing down her shoulders as she leaned against him. "... But I'll be waiting for you to return... If you want me to." She offered and leaned in, kissing his lips.

The fact that Bonnie was willing to wait, lord knows how long it took for John to hunt his brothers down... His heart melted. John didn't respond with words, but he quickly laid Bonnie down and climbed atop her. She gasped softly in surprise but she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled up her gown and beginning to tug her underwear down. Bonnie helped and pushed her undergarments down and draped them over the bedside, dropping them.

The next thing she knew, John was beginning to travel his kisses downwards, he wanted her to feel like a goddess before he left. She was slightly confused but she propped her shoulders up and looked down.

"J-John what are you doing?" She asked, but not receiving a response with words once again she just waited for what was to come.

Suddenly gasping as John's tongue began to draw figure-eights around her pearl she put her hand over her mouth, planting kisses on her outer lips and his fingers beginning to intrude upon her inner walls. Bonnie moaned and reached up and began squeezing and kneading at her breasts while his tongue began fucking her as well. John began feeling the urge of excitement beginning to take over, his erection at full sail as he sat up and hurriedly undressed his lower section and repositioned himself on top of Bonnie and shoved himself inside of her quickly. Bonnie winced out in slight discomfort but with John's gentle nature, within a few deep thrusts, Bonnie's walls relaxed and she began enjoying herself.

John felt... Different to Bonnie this time, not physically but he felt so present and so loving as he kissed her and ran his hands over her body and the way he looked down at her while their gazes met. Her heart raced and her legs wrapped around him while her nails raked down his back. The feeling of him reaching her depths was almost too much to handle, however when Bonnie felt John reach down and continuing to prod at her bud, she fell over the edge... Moaning in bliss, Bonnie's orgasm suddenly rocked her body and her walls held onto John's member for dear life as he thrust, this time, however, he didn't feel a need to pull out, he had made a few mistakes before but... Now? He didn't care, he burrowed himself into Bonnie and groaned as he felt his stream flow into the woman beneath him.

When their orgasms had ended, John reached down and ran a hand over Bonnie cheek as she caught her breath. He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers as he pulled out of her and sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed after pulling his underwear back up and running a hand over his face. The air felt stiff now and Bonnie frowned, sitting up and scooting over, peering at his face.

"John..?" She asked softly.

"... I can't tell you to wait." He finally murmured, not and to look at her, he felt ashamed for making her feel an attachment to him.

"You don't have to..." She replied and reached in, taking his hand. "... I-I... Feel this connection that I know I shouldn't but... Dammit, it's here now." She chuckled tiredly and shrugged. "... I want this as long as you do..."

"Miss MacFarlane... I shouldn't want this... I have a wife, a son." He said clearly and Bonnie looked away, yes... She knew that. "But what frightens me... Is that I don't want to leave... I want to finish the business with Bill for what he did to you but... After that I just..." He sighed and hung his head, finally managing to look over at Bonnie, her eyes held fear... And hope, and he hated placing that within her, John reached over and caressed her neck. "... You make me want to be a better man and you make me feel young again, I don't know what you see in me." He chuckled and looked away again.

Bonnie shook her head and turned John's attention back to her gently with her fingers.

"John... You know what I see when I see you?" She asked and John remained silent. "I see a man... Not an outlaw... Not a criminal, not even a murderer... I see a man, I see _John_." She whispers. "And John? You try to be all cold and serious." She chuckled. "... But you're not, you're human, you have a heart... Dare I say you're even a tad romantic." She mused and John chortled softly. "... And I... See a man who has the world on his shoulders and no one is willing to see it... John, you can say that this won't work and I understand that... But... Whatever you're afraid of happening... It's already happened." She admitted and John met her gaze.

"... You're right." He replied and leaned over, kissing her lips, Bonnie's heart fluttered, but before anything else could be done he separated his lips from hers. "But I have to leave for now." He sighed and Bonnie nodded.

"I know." She stated and got up off the bed, turning to John and leaned down, pecking his forehead before starting to get dressed, John smiled but did the same.

The two snuck out the back door as normal, but since it was daylight they had to be careful. Walking out to Harlow, John and Bonnie paused, there was so much to say and not enough time to say it. Though despite holding her own in the bedroom, now that John was leaving her eyes filled with tears once more. She knew that he was going to Fort Mercer... It could be the last time she would ever see him.

"... Be careful?" She asked, not even willing to give him a playful jab due to her worry.

"I will be, you know that... I've come back all the other times right?" He asked her.

"John... You're going to Fort Mercer... Where I found you half dead..." She sniffed and tried keeping her composure but John reached forward and took her hand, uncaring of who would see, he squeezed it.

"I know... But believe in me." He said and Bonnie nodded.

"I do." She said barely above a whisper.

"Good... You know I can't bear to be apart from you, you know that right?" He asked and Bonnie finally smiled.

"... I'm yours, there is no other." She sniffed, but what really shocked her was when he pulled her close and pecked her lips, she noted a few of her farmhands gawking but she felt liberated like she was no longer keeping a secret.

"... Goodbye." He said and quickly mounted Harlow, sending her one last wink before he kicked his sides and made him gallop out the ranch gates towards Armadillo.


	9. Chapter 9

"Goddammit!" John snarled and slammed his fist into the brick wall of the boneyard that was once Fort Mercer.

Bill had fled the day before... He was gone, and in Mexico, most likely looking for another old friend to help him evade John. Javier Escuella, he remembered the Latino not always fondly and he knew that with Javier's connections, there was a chance that he would never catch Bill... And the realization that his family could be doomed was beginning to tug at him... He reached up with his _not_ throbbing hand and ran his fingers over his eyes and rested both of his hips as he looked out of the large structured doors while his associates stared at him from behind, unsure of how he was doing.

"... I wish I could help more, John... But my obligation remains in Armadillo." Marshal Johnson finally broke the silence and approached John as the rugged younger of the two released a breath of tension.

"No... I understand... Thank you, for your hard work Marshal, I won't forget it." John murmured stiffly and turned his hardened gaze to the other, but something was obviously still tugging on the Officer's mind, and thankfully the other was discreet when he finally decided to ask.

"... What Norman said..." Johnson mumbled.

"... It's true." John replied softly and looked out to the falling sun over the desert-scape.

"... Can I ask why?" Johnson asked.

"Does it matter?" John exasperated, his eyes fluttering shut.

"I suppose not... I normally don't bother myself with other people's lives but... You, sir, lead an interesting one." Johnson replied and John looked over.

"No reason I give will be a good one... I'm not a good man, Sheriff... Perhaps leave it at that." John seemed to plead.

John had two options... He could scour the expanse of Mexico in search of Javier and Bill... He could turn himself into Edgar an Archer, perhaps beg them to spare his family and take him instead. Or... He could go back to Bonnie..?

"If yer needin' passage, I can always take ye'... I have plenty of friends in Mexico, maybe they can help ye'..." Irish offered, and while Irish was the _last_ person John wanted _help_ from... He didn't really have a realistic choice.

"If you're fucking with me, Irish, you won't make it back to America." John stated, devoid of any humor, West Dickens took that as his cue that he should leave and it was for the best.

"Well John, I enjoyed helpin' you, I really did but... I gotta get back to-"

"Get back to scammin' yeah I know. Thank you anyway." John said a tad gentler for the old man and the white-haired hustler made sure to slip away before a confrontation could start due to his _questionable_ line of work.

"Why would I fuck wit ye', Johnny Boy?" Irish asked and when John's dangerously impatient gaze fell upon him, he felt a shiver go down his spine. "I can guarantee ye' a safe return..." He added for good measure and John huffed, looking to Johnson and his deputies.

"Before you head out... Can I ask you to do one last favor? I should be good for it." John inquired and Johnson raised a brow.

"Depends on the favor." Johnson grumbled and John shook his head.

"Nothing dangerous and nothing out of your way." He mentioned and Johnson nodded. "... I can't really send too much personal information through the mail... The government's got their eye on me and I can't afford to get anyone else hurt... I was just wondering if you give me a few minutes if you could take a letter to the MacFarlane homestead?" He hinted and the Marshal rolled his eyes but he nodded without question.

John walked back up the stairs of the Fort into one of the office areas where a lot of Bill's sensitive information was kept, he was sure Johnson would want this but that didn't matter now. He snatched a blank sheet of paper and a pen, his penmanship wasn't the best but it was readable. After about five minutes of composing his words on the paper, he snagged a clean unmarked envelope and slipped the letter inside, simply writing on the front of the envelope: _To Miss MacFarlane._

Walking outside he handed the letter to Johnson who took it and noted the gratitude in John's eyes before he approached the horse that stood next to Irish, he wasn't sure about bringing Harlow into Mexico, he'd think of it, for now, he was comfortably stationed in a corral in Armadillo.

"Lead the way Irish, just in case I need to put a bullet in your head." John mused and Irish smiled nervously before the group disbanded.

Johnson watched John ride off and glanced at the envelope in his hand, he felt nosey but he remembered that John had done a lot for him and Armadillo, deliberately violating his trust wasn't right, no matter what kind of man he was...

"Why don't you two get on back to Armadillo... I'll meet ya'll back there." He instructed before he began leading his own ride towards Hennigan's Stead.

* * *

Bonnie woke up the next morning and rubbed her eyes, yawning and making her way downstairs. She was exhausted, she wasn't sleeping well since John had left... She worried constantly and was in fear that he was dead. She dressed and walked downstairs a tad dully, she had begun to experience a bit more fatigue the last few days, though she assumed it was just due to John leaving... However as she arrived downstairs she noticed her father sitting in the living room drinking tea, she was happy to see him relaxing.

"Mail for ya, Bonnie, on the counter." He called.

"From who?" She asked.

"Doesn't say." He replied and Bonnie raised a confused brow.

She walked into the kitchen and she picked up the envelope, seeing her name printed on the parchment she slowly opened the letter, however when she began reading she gasped and already felt tears coming to her eyes realizing who it was from. She quickly ducked out of the kitchen and hightailed it upstairs, ignoring any inquiries from her father. She quickly sat on her bedside and began reading the letter, eager to see what John had to say.

 _Miss MacFarlane,_

 _It's John, I was never a good writer, but I'm writing you because I have some news... News that you probably won't like. Firstly, before you panic, I'm not dead, the assault on Fort Mercer went without a hitch but Bill is gone and I have reasons to believe he's in Mexico... Which means I'm not coming back, at least not for a while... Part of me thought about abandoning this goose chase and coming back to you, but knowing great harm will come to my family I can't... I hope you'll understand, and if you can't I will certainly understand. I can't ask you to wait for me..._

 _I feel so cowardly having to send you a letter, knowing I can't see the tears I that I know you are shedding, and I hate myself for causing those tears... And I hate myself more knowing I was too weak to say this to you in person out of fear... But there is no denying this, the words you said right before I left keep replaying in my mind, that what I was fearing what had already happened..._

 _I love you, Miss MacFarlane... I'm not a romantic man... I'm not even close to a good man, but you are a good woman and for just a moment when I was with you I could see you making me a better man... If anything I hope this will bring you some closure and this isn't goodbye as long as you don't want it to be... I know you can't send me anything back but I'll do my best to send you letters on my progress if possible._

 _Look for me in the sunset._

 _Your Outlaw,_

 _John Marston_

God, she hated him... She hated knowing how much he knew her... How much she was sobbing as she reached up and cupped her palm over her mouth to muffle the sound of her anguish, but she knew the real answer, she hated how much she _didn't_ hate him. She hugged the letter to her chest, wishing he would appear in front of her so she could hear the words she desperately needed from him. The closure that she yearned for was not there, she wasn't mad at John by any means but the pain she felt was undeniably horrendous...

"Goddamn, you... Stupid man." She sniffled and traced her fingertips over the writing, knowing that now this was her only connection to him for who knew how long.

* * *

"This is what I get for trustin' the likes of you!" John roared as he ducked behind mere crates as he was shot at from nearly _all_ angles, the bullets stopping only momentarily for John and Irish to catch their breaths. "This is the fourth time your so-called friends have nearly got me killed. I thought you said they loved you over here?" He snarled.

"They do...at least the lassies do. Oh, them big brown eyes. Turn stone into butter, they would. The Mexicans know how to make a bottle of liquor, too. That pulque! Now there's a drink that would take the frost out of frosty mornin'. Ah, you're gonna have some fun." Irish cackles.

"I'm just here for Bill Williamson." John scoffed in slight distaste.

"Well, I'm glad to be back. This place is a wild devil's paradise." Irish informed.

"Apart from the fellas tryin' to kill you." John grumbled back.

"Down here, they call me El Rato. The cat. On account of me stealth and cunning." Irish said matter-of-factly.

"I'm pretty sure Rato means _rat,_ my friend. I like it, though, a little more inventive than Irish." John managed to snicker.

"Well, you Americans over here never were very creative with your use of language, was you, John Marston? They're still comin'! Behind that big rock!" Irish yelped as more gunfire errupted from the canyon.

"I haven't stepped foot in this country and they're already tryin' to kill me!" John snapped.

"Well, you do insist on fraternizin' with a notorious Irish outlaw. Watch the top of that cliff! They're shootin' down on us! What's the word for cunt in Spanish?" Irish asked, mid-fight.

"You tell me. You must have been called it a few times." John quipped back.

"Heads up! More of 'em up on the cliff to the left!"

"So much for your damn connections, Irish!"

"I told you they knew me in Mexico, didn't I? I'll miss these escapades, Johnny boy, I really will." The drunker of the two finally mused as the fighting seemed to cease again.

"I doubt you'll remember any of it, Irish." John disagreed with the roll of his eyes.

"There's a beach up on the left. Hang on, we'll be on dry land soon. We made it, thank the Lord. Am I glad to be gettin' off that floatin' deathtrap." Irish implored gratefully and John wiped the sweat from his brow as Irish jogged over to the horses left behind by the dead bandits.

"These horses look fresher and healthy." Irish chuckled, grabbing one by the sheath.

"Before you degrade these poor fools any longer, tell me where I'm headed." John ordered a tad uncomfortably.

"Of course. Of course. Let me think." Irish hummed.

"You do know people down here? Aside from your friends who welcomed us on the way?" John interrogated.

"Yes, I think so. I was really drunk last time I was here, John. You know how it is. I met an American guy. Saw him shoot a man. Drank with him in the village of Chuparosa. Funny guy... Or was that Canada...? No. That was Canada. Guy here, not funny, but he's real nice. Failing that you could try the provincial governor, Colonel something or other...some Spanish name...he's based out of Escalera. I played Three Card Stud with him...or was it Four Card Monty? I forget. He was a real nice chap or maybe he was a real bastard. I was real drunk last time, John." Irish rambled.

"Well, thanks a lot for your help. Oh, let me guess. You've got to be on your way." John grumbled as Irish saddled up.

"The famed hospitality isn't what it once was and I've never been known to overstay me welcome... So, off I go to greener pastures. Good luck, John. You're an angry and a feck ugly man; but not a bad one." Irish said and half-assed a salute before riding away from John.

John did his best to take that as a compliment, as he realized he could be royally screwed... He only hoped for now that his letter made it to Bonnie and not her father or someone else's prying eyes. He took a huge risk writing his feelings down on paper but... It was worth the risk, but for now, John had no choice but to follow the lead given to him by Irish. Looking at his map, John headed for Chuparosa.

John didn't arrive until the evening and when he did he was greeted by a few... Less than friendly looking residents.

"Eh, gringo, ¿hablas español?" A mustached man questioned.

"Uh, no, sir. Pardon, pero, yo habla un solo poquito español. Habla English?" John sputtered a bit awkwardly.

"Sí, gringo, Hablo mucho inglés. Hablo _filthy fucking bean eater._ Hablo _slippery little Mexican._ Hablo _little piece of shit._ ¿Comprende amigo? ¿Comprende? Hey, what are you doing here, gringo? I don't remember inviting you to my country." The menacing group leader mused as the trio surrounded John who readied to grab his revolver should anything go awry.

"I don't think you did, amigo. I mean you no harm." John responded calmly.

"You mean us no harm? This is funny! What harm could you do to us, exactly?" Cackled the stranger, John was beginning to feel very tense at the way this situation was unfolding.

"Nothing, amigo. Now, I appreciate the welcome committee but I'd hate to spoil a beautiful afternoon on such beautiful land with any further unpleasantries. Now, if you'll excuse me..." John stated, trying to walk away from a potentially hostile situation.

"Ah, hold it, gringo. I think you are forgetting something. A little taxation. I have a large family." The bandit chortled, John quickly bit his tongue.

"I too have a family, friend. So that we may see our families again, I suggest we part ways amicably." John said sternly, showing that he would stand his ground but before he could do anything, his hat was suddenly lifted from his head from the other longer haired bandit, forcing his blood to boil as he tried desperately to keep his cool, he was outnumbered after all.

"Can I see the boots, gringo?" His assailant challenged.

"I think you can see them just fine from where you're standing, señor." John quipped.

"Take off the boots, Americano." The man commanded aggressively, reaching for his gun.

"... As you wish." John sighed as he kneeled, the trio heckling and laughing at his bending to their will.

However, John took this advantage and reached at his revolver, suddenly firing two rounds into the leader and then the other. The third man who wore his hat gasped, sufficiently terrified as John walked towards him and took the hat off the other man's head and fired one last round into his heart, watching his limp body fall with a smirk.

"Oh, very good. Very good indeed, sir. What a great way to improve border relations. An illiterate farmer crossing the river, coming into this civilization and butchering the local peasants. Thank you very much, sir." A stranger mused sarcastically from the sidelines as he approached John.

"Don't mention it, old man." John said in a warning fashion.

"You kill peasants, you become a peasant." The new, american accented, stranger advised.

"I never aspired to be anything more." John retorted.

"Ah, a socialist, huh? No wonder you left America."

"I am many things, most of them bad, but a man of political principles, no." John informed.

"Well then, I fear Mexico may not be for you, sir." The other informed right back.

"Don't you worry about me." John stated.

"Oh, but I do worry. An angry man, a long way from home. A man who handles his gun as sloppy as you." The older man said, almost a smirk in his tone.

"I can handle a gun okay, partner." John affirmed.

"Yeah, as long as you're killing quail or peasants. But if you have to face another man, you don't stand a chance."

"And you do?"

"I can show you a few tricks. Come with me." The old man offered and began leading John

"Hold on, what's your name?" John quizzed as he hesitantly started to follow the gray-haired man.

"Ah, that doesn't matter anymore. And you?" The other asked back.

"I never had a name, mister. I was raised in an orphanage." John replied, not to keen on giving out his information if the other wouldn't reciprocate.

"A real American, huh? Wonderful, just wonderful." The man scoffed, though his words hinted a bit of enthusiasm.

The man led John behind the bar of the town and began having John practice shooting his weapon at some bottles that he sat up. While this wasn't what John would normally do in this situation, he appreciated this much more than his welcome party...

"Well, you won't make it in the circus, but you can shoot. Keep on practicing." The man instructed.

"Thank you, old man." John snorted.

"Now, who are you?" The man asked once again.

"No one interesting. Who are you?" John said, raising his brows a bit, being adamant on keeping himself private as long as this man did.

"Landon Ricketts. Not a name that means much anymore." The man finally said, surprising John who sheathed his gun.

"It means a little. You were famous when I was a boy." John said, trying to contain his slight awe of being in the company of a living legend.

"Yeah, killing men's a strange kind of fame. I was the fastest in my time. I must have been. I'm the only one left." Landon said a bit tiredly.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, unable to help himself.

"Living quietly, waiting."

"For what?"

"I don't know, and you?" Landon said cryptically.

"My name is John... I'm looking for a couple of men, Bill Williamson, Javier Escuella. Escuella is from here." John explained.

"It could be, this whole place is teeming with Americans on the run, mercenaries, locals hell-bent on revolution." Landon said obviously a bit fed up with the situation.

"Revolution? Another one?" John asked with some surprise, he was never into politics until now.

"Yeah. Never really ends. This place has been a hotbed for revolution since before the Spanish left. Now, there's another local guy running around promising the peasants their freedom. Hah, just like the last two or three. Local government, foul bunch. Colonel Allende, he runs this place like a feudal king. He's an awful individual." Landon stated with distaste.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah... Until someone puts a bullet in his head. C'mon, let's get back to it. You gotta keep that back straight, otherwise, it makes the gun jump. See if this Schofield makes a difference. Now that's a real gun." He said tossing John a different gun.

John inspected the gun fondly, it was a nice weapon and crafted with care. He took a breath and did as Landon ordered, straightening his back and aiming his gun at the targets in front of him. He then slowly released the breath and pulled the trigger, flicking his wrist quickly. This gun as much easier to handle, and he even impressed himself by breaking all the bottles in succession.

"Well done. Now that wasn't so hard was it? Follow me. We're going to try something a little more challenging. The birds around here are always raising hell. Scavenging and scaring the life out of the locals. I say we put your new-found skills to the test, while doing a public service for the good people of Chuparosa. Here will do. I'm gonna scare up some birds. Let's see if you can take down more than one at a time." Landon challenged.

John was a good hunter and a good shot but this was much harder then he was used to, but he reloaded his revolver and nodded to Ricketts. The man then threw a rock into the tall desert grasses stirring up a few wildfowl. John wished he had a shotgun but it was now or never, he pulled the trigger multiple times, managing to hit about three birds to his own shock.

"Nicely done, sir. You've been taught well." Landon complimented as the two men started to walk towards town side by side. "I have to say, I'm surprised you've heard of Landon Ricketts. I would have thought an old goat like me would have been long forgotten by now." Landon chuckled dryly.

"I heard many a story when I was a boy. Still do, sometimes." John confirmed.

"What, these days? That's hard to believe. What do people say?" Landon asked curiously.

"Ah, you know how those conversations go. Fellas arguin' over who's the toughest, who's the fastest, and who shot people in the back." John informed almost playfully.

"I'd place good money on me still being the fastest." The older man chuckled.

"Is that so, old man?" John teased, but before any more words could be exchanged a panic-stricken bartender ran out towards them.

"Ay, Sr. Ricketts! Sr. Ricketts! Señor Ricketts! Señor Ricketts! Por favor, señor. Our bank wagon's under attack just outside of town! We need your help again." He pleaded.

"Whoa, slow down, Ramon. We'll take care of it." Landon comforted.

"Thank you, señor. Again, you are the savor of this town." Ramon sighed in relief.

"Well, my friend, are you ready to take a less theoretical exam?" Landon asked John.

"Sure. I don't think I ever rode with no savior before." John mused as they started jogging to their horses.

"Come on. These people need me." Landon declared after he and John mounted their horses and riding out of town with John in tow.

"So, why are you looking for these two men?" Landon asked.

"It's a long story. We used to ride together. We was all friends once." John revealed.

"Only a buzzard feeds on his friends. There must be a high bounty on their heads." Landon snorted.

"What would you do if somebody took the people you loved, and told you they'd die if you didn't do as they asked?" John growled in reply as the closed in on the banditos, the two sharpshooters taking little time to dispose of the parasites.

"Keep your eyes peeled. These bandits don't give up easily." Landon said seriously.

"I can see you haven't lost your touch, Landon." John commended.

"Nobody said I had. You talk real big for a boy who couldn't shoot straight a half hour ago." Landon huffed.

"And you talk big for a man who can't stand up straight no more." John quipped back.

"You're a long way from being a Landon Ricketts, partner; young, old or otherwise. All those stories you heard as a boy were true, you know." Landon said matter-of-factly as they surveyed the area. "Looks like that's all of 'em. Come on, let's keep moving!" Landon called.

"So much for this quiet life of yours, Mr. Ricketts." John commented.

"I didn't say I'd become a coward. I'm not going to stand by and watch good people suffer. They've been beaten down for too long. I give them some hope." Landon explained.

"They don't know how lucky they are." John reckoned.

"Damn right they don't, my sarcastic little apprentice." Landon stressed as they escorted the wagon safely to town.

"Sano y salvo! Nunca podre agradecer lo suficiente!" The driver of the wagon thanked heavily.

"Buy me a whiskey later, and we'll call things about even." Landon said simply before looking to John and motioning to the bar. "Suppose we've earned a drink, care to join me?" he then asked.

"Sure, I could use the buzz after the week I've had." John said and followed Landon into the establishment.

Upon walking inside, there was a table in the backroom, perhaps this table was reserved for Landon since he was the _savior_ of this village, it was quieter in here. The two ordered their drinks and John lit up a cigarette.

"So, you're hunting your friends?" Landon asked, arching a brow curiously.

"It ain't that simple..." John said as their drinks were brought to them. "I used to be in a gang... Did a lot of bad things and when I was left for dead in a fail robbery, I decided I wanted to move on, go straight, but the government put shackles on the people I love... If I don't do what they say and hunt down the boys I used to ride with... Well, I don't know what will happen, but they will suffer on my behalf." He explained with a small sigh.

"I see... So you have a girl?" Landon inquired.

"I do." John said with a small smile, but his thoughts immediately went to Bonnie. "A wife and son." He clarified, he was married to Abagail after all.

"I'm sorry for your situation, I'll help where I can but this place has demons of its own." Landon stated and John nodded.

"I understand... Thank you." John said and clinked glasses with Landon.

His first day in Mexico was definitely an interesting one...


	10. Chapter 10

It had been about a month since John had left and in that time span, he had met a western legend, two revolutionaries, saved presumably innocent prisoners from execution and was betrayed by the Mexican Army, and facing death on multiple occasions. However, for now, his main focus was still finding Javier Escuella, Bill Williamson, and killing Colonel Allende for double-crossing him, De Santa was already dealt with. He needed to work with the head of the revolution itself, Abraham Reyes and he himself was a pain in the ass as a character... It was his only option though, and he felt like he owed Abraham a little after saving his life from De Santa and his dogs. Riding to Agave Viejo, upon walking into the building he began hearing some... Questionable noises, and walking into the main room he quickly looked away after the scene of Abraham and a peasant woman fucking burned itself into his corneas.

"John! Excuse me! Oye, mamita. Cuándo te vea la próxima vez, que sea un poco mas durito, eh? And I mean rougher, huh." He chortled as the woman did her best to cover her unmentionables as she slinked out of the room, and John as a gentleman, kept his eyes away from her and his hands up so they didn't even brush her.

"What would your most loyal follower, Luisa say about that?" He interrogated, he really shouldn't talk, after bedding Bonnie he really didn't have any room to talk.

"Who?" Abraham inquired dumbly.

"Luisa. The girl from Campo Mirada." John scoffed, rolling his eyes, if only Luisa knew how much Abraham disregarded her.

"Ah, her. A gentleman never tells, but she was a most wonderful, ay... I just say she was incredible, yes. Let me tell you something. I strongly recommend her. You take her when you have the chance, my brother." Abraham cackled, while Luisa was a beautiful girl, she was innocent and John wouldn't take advantage of that.

"She thinks she's your wife." John informed, watching Abraham snort with laughter.

"My wife! These peasant girls. They believe every word a fellow says. So naive! It's really quite charming. I love peasants. Don't you love peasants? I love them, they have such purity." He exulted.

"Are you going to marry her?" John asked out of curiosity.

"Marry a peasant? My dear boy, don't be absurd. I'm going to be the next president of Mexico. My wife will meet ambassadors, kings, other great men. The very thought that I would marry some peasant girl with a tight cunt, and the hands of a farmer, well I really don't think so. My mother, qué Dios la cuide , will turn in her grave." Abraham revealed.

"Interesting." John commented simply enough, he would not degrade Abraham for two reasons, one being that he saved John's life, and the second was that John would be a hypocrite, he was cheating on his wife after all.

"But come on, let's run. I've got an amazing present for you, my brother, ah yes. The man you seek... Together, we will bring him to justice! Let's go." Abraham howled as they two walked out to the wagon.

"Hold on... Can you do me a favor before we go?" John asked reluctantly.

"Sure John, anything." Abraham crowed and John hesitated but pulled out a letter.

"Look, I'm under strict surveillance from the government, so sending personal things will make my life hell... I was wondering if perhaps maybe your boys could run this to New Austin... To Hennigan's Stead on the MacFarlane's Ranch." He advised.

"That's a long way, John... Might I ask why?" Abraham questioned, snatching the letter and looking at the name. " _Miss_ MacFarlane..? You got a wife?" He asked.

"... I do... But she ain't my wife." John replied honestly.

"Oh ho ho! You got a tight cunt of your own, aye John?" Abraham seemed to praise, a vein slightly popping out of John's forehead.

"She's... A little more than that... Look can you get the letter to her or not?" He asked.

"Of course! Of course! Through love, anything is possible my friend!" Abraham laughed and whistled, one of his followers coming over. "I need you to take this to New Austin, MacFarlane's Ranch to a _Miss_ Bonnie MacFarlane." He mused, wiggling his brows at John.

What had John gotten himself into? At least his letter would hopefully be delivered...

* * *

"Miss MacFarlane, I assure you I'm right." Doctor Johnston said seriously.

"A-Are you sure I'm not just under the weather?" Bonnie inquired desperately.

"Miss MacFarlane, you asked for my professional opinion, didn't you say you haven't gotten your monthly bleed yet? You said it was over two weeks late?" He asked and Bonnie went rigid, reaching up and running a hand over her head. "I'm sorry if this isn't the news you wanted, if you get your bleed then don't worry about it but... Until then I assure you, that you're pregnant." He stated and began writing some things down. "I can get you something for nausea so that you can work but I suggest that you start planning for the time when you are no longer able to work." He said and gave her the prescription.

"Thank you... I will." She sighed and then took the bottle of medicine from him.

"Just bring this back if the nausea persists I'll give you more when you need it." He explained. "And... If you need someone to talk to... I know a good therapist." He said and Bonnie tilted her head.

"I'm sorry?" She asked.

"Well... I know what happened to you was traumatizing... And now... I'm just offering some more help for your situation." He answered and it clicked in her head, he thought she was raped... She never told him or her father that she wasn't, and if her father knew John impregnated her... She had to go with this.

"Oh... W-Well I appreciate it... I'll think about it, Doctor." She said and ducked out the door.

Shit... John wasn't even here for her to tell him that he was going to father another child. He probably didn't want another child out of wedlock but he didn't have a choice and neither did he... This would always be a secret between her and John as long as he wanted it to be. She got onto the cart and sighed, reaching down and gently caressing her belly, she shouldn't presume yet, Doctor Johnston couldn't be certain this early in the pregnancy but... In her heart... She knew.

She had to be careful now, she didn't want to risk hurting her child. She was so worried, so paranoid about what John would do, or say... She wouldn't blame him for disappearing but... She wouldn't regret her child. Upon riding home she wondered how much her baby would look like John... Smiling at the thought until the rode back in. She had to be serious, she had to act devastated, yet strong for her father because she couldn't hide a pregnancy forever.

Walking into the farmhouse, Drew was sitting on the couch reading the paper casually.

"What did the doctor say?" He called and Bonnie approached him quietly, sitting in front of him in an uncomfortable fashion before she gulped.

"... Daddy, I need you to be calm..." She said softly, watching him raise his brows and put his paper down.

"... A-After I was... Kidnapped... I-I... I'm just going to be honest... The doctor thinks I'm pregnant." She muttered, unable to look up to his horrified expression.

"Y-You were..."

"Don't." Bonnie stated. "... I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it." She says seriously and looked up to him. "... I just... Wanted you to know." She breathed.

"... Y-You... You..." Drew stood up and turned away, reaching up and rubbing his eyes and his forehead, hearing him sniffle, Bonnie felt a pang in her heart for lying, making him think something truly horrible happened to her; after regaining his composure he looked to Bonnie. "You don't have to do this." He sniffed, making Bonnie raise a brow.

"I can't just... _Not do_ pregnancy." She replied.

"I mean... You don't have to raise it..." He replied and Bonnie huffed.

"I will... It's _my_ baby after all... Besides... I'm not married and... Who knows if I ever will be... I want to be a mother and... My baby doesn't have to know." She explained and sighed. "... And I expect you not to question my decision." She declared.

"Are you sure..?" He asked and Bonnie stood.

"... Yes, I am." She said and Drew brought her into a hug, he hadn't hugged her in... Years.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." He consoled and rubbed her back.

Bonnie sighed and closed her eyes, just relishing the moment. Her father wasn't a sappy man, and she would hate herself forever in making him think that she was carrying a rapists child... But she couldn't reveal anything until speaking to John... After finally separating from Bonnie he wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"You got another letter." Drew quickly changed the subject, thankfully for the both of them, Bonnie's eyes widened and jogged to the kitchen table and saw the handwriting, her heart instantly swelled.

"Thank you, daddy." She said and, like before, retreated into her room, she prayed every day that she would receive a letter from John.

She tore the letter open quickly, and unfolded the paper, she feared he was dead since she hadn't heard anything from him in weeks. She drank in his words, reading as slowly as possible so that she got more time.

 _Miss MacFarlane,_

 _I'm in Mexico, and I know you'll scold me for keeping you waiting this long but I've been so busy... I've met a lot of popular and unpopular people, right now I'm in bed with the Mexican Revolutionaries... After being betrayed by the Mexican Military, I was almost executed but obviously, I'm fine... I know this isn't the most fun to hear about but this is what's going on with me. I'm hoping to catch Javier and Bill soon though and hopefully, I can see you again sooner rather than later... I miss you so much, I can hardly stand it sometimes Bonnie._

 _I wish I could hear from you but I don't really have a location where I can receive letters, I'm never in one place after all. I just hope you are receiving these so you know I'm safe. I'll do what I can to let you know when I'll be riding back through New Austin... I'm hoping I can come through before going to Blackwater but, knowing the men who put me up to this, they won't be patient. I'm having a hard time keeping them off my back long enough to catch Bill and Javier._

 _I want to see you... I see you in my dreams all the time and I hope you know that I miss you dearly... It kills me every time I know that day won't be the day I get to come back to you... I can't write a lot, my mind is racing so much that I can't focus on one thing to say, so for now... I have to end this letter, I'll send more if I can... Just remember I love you._

 _Your Outlaw,_

 _John Marston_

Bonnie couldn't help but smile, even as she cried. She cried a lot these days, though she hoped it was just the fetus making her so emotional... Assuming she was pregnant... Now that the news was sinking in that she could very well be carrying John's baby, she almost hoped her bleed didn't come. She released a shaky breath and his this letter away with the other one that she had received, whenever she got so lonely that she couldn't bear it, she read his letter. Bonnie had basically memorized his first one, but now she had a new one to read over and over again.

No matter how much she desperately wanted to write him, she wouldn't tell him about the baby until she could see him in person, this was nothing to be revealed over a letter and while he was dealing with such dangerous situations he couldn't afford to be distracted. She just had to keep this secret until John returned to her... She was so in love it hurt, she wanted to see him so she could tell him how much he was in love with him... That she was so happy to carry his child no matter the consequence... Even if he could never acknowledge it as his child, it didn't matter to her.

She knew how selfish that sounded... But it was a little piece of John she would always have.

* * *

"Hello, old friend... It's been a long time." John mused as he walked into the storeroom of El Presidio, facing Javier Escuella as he tried to find a way out.

"Hello, brother. It's good to see you. I heard you was coming. You took your time, no? Come on, you're not going to shoot your own brother, are you? We was family." Javier fretted, speaking quickly to save his own skin.

"Yeah, we were, then you and Dutch went crazy, and family didn't mean so much." John scoffed as he pointed his gun at Javier.

"So now you do the government's work?" Javier sneered at John.

"And what do you do? You just work for a different government." John quipped, the tense air almost weighing the two down.

"Come on, brother, I think we should go our separate ways, huh?" Javier tried to barter.

"What you and Dutch did was wrong. And the way you left me was wrong. Now, I ain't the judge, but as it turns out, it's you or me, the way I see it, it might as well be you." John seethed, remembering the betrayal the night he and the rest of his _family_ left him to die.

"We thought you was dead, brother. I promise. I'm telling the truth. Besides, I can give you Bill. And Dutch... Dutch is in Colombia. I can take you straight to him." Javier tried to convince John.

"You left me to die, to save your own skin and now you expect me to care about you?" John questioned, slightly enraged.

"You got it all wrong, brother. I've always loved you, even now." Javier growled, shoving a crate in John's direction and leaping out of the nearby window. "Go back to your farm, John!" He yelled as he tried to evade John.

John didn't know what Javier expected to happen, but he ran blindly into the desert, doing whatever he could to get away from John. However, this was a losing battle for his long-time partner in crime. Bringing out the lasso that Bonnie had given him, he flung it forward and with deadly precision, he snatched Javier's legs out from under him and watching him fall flat on his face. He quickly approached Javier and hogtied him, turning Javier to face him.

"Where's Bill, you son-of-a-bitch? Do you think I won't kill you, brother?!" John roared.

"He ain't here, brother. He's with Allende..." Javier confirmed.

"You're going to be locked up for a hell of a long time, unless they choose to hang you." John growled and picked up the man, beginning to haul him back towards El Presidio.

"It's a little late for revenge, John."

"I ain't here to kill you, Javier. This is just business." John said, almost casually.

"Come on, amigo. Abigail wouldn't want this." Javier blurted.

"Abigail would've killed you already. She always thought you was a creep." John scoffed as he tried to keep himself from beating Javier into a coma for mentioning his wife.

"We was family, brother, you and me." Javier groaned.

"Like Cain and Abel, I guess, leaving each other for dead." John grumbled as he walked through the entrance of the fortress.

"You don't understand what happened. It wasn't like you thought it was." Javier pleaded.

"Whatever you say, old friend." John muttered, tuning Javier's bullshit out.

"It was Bill, not me."

"Yeah, and he's next. So you and Bill are back together? Two crazy men sharin' a bed." John snorted.

"Go to hell, you pathetic fool. Dutch never liked you, you know?" Javier snarled, realizing that John wasn't budging on his descision.

"I gave up caring about him or you a long time ago, friend. As I say, this ain't been a social call. It's just business." John stated.

"Just let me go, John. It's Bill you want."

"You wastin' what's left of your breath. Enjoy the view, breathe the air. Last of either you're going to be gettin', brother. You're going to be locked up for a hell of a long time, unless they choose to hang you." John taunted as he walked into the jail.

"Ah, you piece of shit. I hope you sure know what you're doing, brother. You sold me out. Didn't that life we had mean nothing to you?" Javier asked, grunting as John tossed him onto the stone floor. "Ah, ah, you puto. Ah. One day, one day I promise you, you're gonna regret this." He huffed.

"One day is about all you got left." John said with a discreet smirk.

"I hope you and your wife, and children, rot in hell."

"You know that life we lived is over. And when we was living it, it didn't mean nothing anyway. It was just an excuse and we all knew." John sighed.

"What I knew was that you was always a puto. And you're still a puto!" The imprisoned man barked.

John fetched Javier from the cell after the last of the reinforcements were decimated by the cannon mounted at the top of the fortress. Walking out into the courtyard he was greeted by a festive Abraham.

"Two old friends reunited. It is a beautiful thing." Abraham cheered.

John ignored the man, he could see the two agents at the top of the hill outside and he bit his tongue. He hated them, he hated them more than anything... But he had to remain professional if he wanted to see his wife and son again.

"Mr. Marston! Fancy seeing you down here. I must say, it's a pleasant surprise to see you." Edgar Ross teased ruthlessly.

"You've done well, Mr. Marston. Now, Javier here gets to see how far the hand of justice can reach. Come on you... Get in the damn automobile!" Archer snapped at Javier as John loaded the wanted man into the back seat of the car.

"Can we assume one of my commitments is cleared?" John asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Unfortunately, nothing is cleared, John, until your obligations are met. We need you to find Williamson, then head to Blackwater as quick as you can. We have reason to believe Dutch van der Linde is in the area." Archer informed before walking around to get in the driver's side, Edgar pausing before he too got in the car.

"Oh... Your wife sends her regards." Edgar mused, smirking at John before he, indeed, climbed into the automobile, John watched silently as the car raced off.

John's blood was boiling... That fucker knew _exactly_ what to say to drive him insane. He released a breath of hatred, but one man was now behind bars... He was getting this done, it _was_ possible... He just had to get it done.

"John! I will meet you in Escalera!" Reyes called and John waved him off.

John reached up and ran a hand through his hair. He was tired, he was sore... Emotionally he was exhausted as well. He was ready to throw in the towel but he couldn't, he was so close to catching Bill... He was so close to seeing Bonnie again. He was closer to seeing his wife and son again. The air was quiet now that Abraham and his followers rode away, only leaving a few men to keep the place from being taken by other delinquents claiming to be a vicious gang.

John hobbled back into the fortress so he could at least have a place to rest for the night, he couldn't remember the last time he slept... He was going to collapse.

* * *

That next week, when John rode into Escalera towards Allende's mansion, the sight that greeted him was rather shocking, in the middle of town, rebel's and military fighting to the death. John spotting Abraham getting beaten up, about to be executed.

"Welcome to México. My brothers and I are just discussing the future of our country!" Abraham cackled, did _anything_ get to this man?

"Okay, let this man go." John sighed, almost as if he was bored, in all honesty he was tired of this bullshit.

"And who are you, gringo?" The man ready to shoot Abraham asked,

"I'm no one...but unless you want this town to tear you and your boys to shreds, I suggest you let him go." John stated simply.

"And you think you can tell me what to do, friend?"

"Oh, you should listen to him, friend." Abraham mused as John drew his gun with the blink of an eye.

"Look at that. You want to risk it?" He inquired.

"The American is a drunk. If I were you, I would pull that trigger." Abraham snorted.

"Put the gun down, Americano." The commander ordered.

"Ya, ya matalo." Abraham taunted.

"Déjen mi hombre!" Luisa screamed, running at the commander weilding a knife in her grasp, but was shot down by the soldiers holding Abraham to John's dismay.

"You want to settle this now, friend? Or do you want me to shoot you in the head right now, for that poor girl?" John sneered, glancing at Luisa's corpse for a moment.

"Okay, but we fight like men, not like dogs." The commander scoffed.

John didn't waste time in putting the man down in a petty duel, if he were honest the commander didn't deserve an honorable death by a duel and cutting Abraham's binds.

"Thanks my brother. Now the people are finally ready. Today we overthrow the Coronel!" Abraham chirped.

John and Abraham's forces take down the military forces as they neared the gate. He was nearly there... Bill had to be here.

"Go for the machine gun, John! We will blast through the door with gunpowder barrels! Wait while we get everything into position. Wait for my signal! Now, John!" Abraham called.

John didn't hesitate on slaughtering the soldiers inside the gates with the Gatling gun. Watching bodies fall and the resistance against the revolution falling the army began to retreat.

"They are retreating! Adelante! A la mansión!" Abraham yelled.

"Come on! We can still get to my stagecoach!" Allende hissed as he and Bill snuck out of the back.

"Go, then! I'll cover you!" Bill snapped.

"They're getting away! We have to stop them!" Abraham yelled to John.

The two run to their horses and raced after the escaping stagecoach. Bill would _not_ slip out of his grasp yet again, this was the end, Bill's life would end _today._ He caught up and pulled out his revolver, putting bullets into the drivers, Ricketts' lessons proved to help John after all.

"What the hell are you doing?" Bill growled at Allende.

"Buying my freedom, pendejo! Now shut up, you dumb ape, and get out of the wagon! Apurate! I'm coming out! Don't shoot! Here. Take Williamson. Just let me live. I will leave the country. I promise." Allende begged in a cowardly fashion, John and Abraham shared glances and put two bullets into the Colonel before John looked at Bill.

"... How's it feel being on the other end of the barrel..? Get ready to feel how I felt when you left me to die you some of a bitch." John snarled as he pointed his gun against Bill's forehead.

"Fuck y-"

 _BANG._

Bill's body fell limp to the floor... John felt a massive weight lift from his shoulders, Bill was dead, now one item off his list was gone and he finally got some much needed vengence... He didn't think it would taste so sweet.

"Allende is dead... Mexico is mine! My people are free, and it is all thanks to you, John." Abraham rejoiced, slapping John's back.

"And to the people who laid down their lives. People like Luisa." John reminded.

"Oh yes, she was very brave, and she will be missed. Who was she again?" Abraham asked, making John's soul cringe.

"Your peasant girl wife to be..." John sighed in exasperation.

"Oh yes, of course. She will have a day named after her. Laura's Day!" Abraham chorused.

"Luisa..." John muttered.

"What? Oh yes. I knew a Laura as well. Magnificent girl. Like riding a pampas bull, it was, amigo. You never saw anything like it. Anyway, enough about sport. Let's get back to politics. I trust you will join us in riding on the capital?" Abraham asked.I'd love to, but with Williamson dead, my jailors need me back in Blackwater.

"I'd love to, but with Williamson dead, my jailors need me back in Blackwater." John replied, relieved that he was no longer needed to be in Abraham's company, he didn't dislike Reyes, but... He would be lying if he said he wasn't thankful to be leaving.

"Qué hacen? Levántanese! Well, I must say I will miss you, John Marston." Abraham said, giving John a hug who stiffly returned the gesture.

"I doubt you'll even remember me, Abraham, but it's been an experience. Good luck with the revolution. If you win power, remember why you wanted it." John stated sincerely.

"Well, travel safely, amigo. Vámanos." Abraham spoke and waved to John as he mounted his horse.

It was over... The goose chase in Mexico was over. John felt... Surreal as he galloped over the American border, feeling more than relieved. However, he didn't have time to stop and spend time with Bonnie... No matter how much he wanted to, he _had_ to get to Blackwater since his puppetmasters were expecting him there as soon as Bill was hunted down. He could at least drop one more letter by the Ranch... Despite that it would be so painful to leave. Hopefully Bonnie and would be asleep when he stopped by...

* * *

 _ **Hey guys, thank you so much for the kind words and thank you for following this FanFic, I'm working my ass off on it and I hope I didn't butcher the Spanish lmao, I'm an American English speaker so I hope I didn't insult anyone.**_

 _ **-Eros**_


	11. Chapter 11

John was so happy to have Harlow back under him, he truly missed his valiant steed but he was also happy that his horse was able to have a break, he worked hard with John so he was glad the horse seemed joyful to see him again. However, all joy was deprived of him as he pulled back some on the alabaster horse's reigns... He could see the gate to the MacFarlane's Ranch, even the darkness couldn't shroud John's sight when it came to his woman. He took a breath, hoping to god that Bonnie was asleep.

He slowly reached over and pulled the letter that he had written out of his saddlebag, perhaps Bonnie would appreciate a letter only after a week since his last one... Hoping that Bonnie wouldn't be angry at him for not seeing her, but his family's captures, unfortunately, took first priority. Taking a breath, praying for God to give him strength... He kicked Harlow's sides, making the horse canter onto the Ranch. The familiar sights giving John a warm feeling, he stopped Harlow outside the farmhouse and looking up to Bonnie's window... His heart was shattering...

John's eyes fluttered shut for just a moment... And he slowly dismounted Harlow and walked up the steps to the house, his letter in his hand and slipping the letter into the letterbox by the front door. He reached up and ran his gloved hand over the front door.

 _I'm here... I'm right here..._

With a heavy heart, John turned around, forcing himself to look away... But he couldn't leave. He felt so broken and so torn, he reached up and ran a hand down his face in an exhausted manner before he plopped down onto the steps of the MacFarlane's farmhouse. He lit up a cigarette and just... Relaxed for a moment. He needed to stop... Just for a moment.

* * *

Bonnie's eyes opened, she didn't know why... She sat up and rubbed her eyes, she wasn't nauseous and she wasn't aching but... Something woke her up. She swung her legs over her bed and slipped on her robe, standing and venturing down the hall. She stretched some and looked down to her nonexistent baby-bump before she traversed downstairs and looked to the front door. Humming she turned around to walk back upstairs but the distinct squeaking of something being put in her letterbox made her turn back around.

There was no way the mail had just arrived... Glancing at the clock by the stairs, it was around two in the morning. She haltingly approached the door and rested her palm on the knob and turning it, opening the door, her core shuddering as she saw John sitting on the stairs. He was smoking, casually as if nothing was bothering him.

"J-... John." She whispered, watching John pause his movements for a moment and then flicking his cigarette away.

"... Miss MacFarlane... Thought you would be in bed." He murmured and stood, looking to her.

"Oh my god, John!" Bonnie gasped and ran into him, crashing into his chest. "John..." She sobbed, feeling such relief when he finally turned and wrapped his arms around her. "Y-You... Stupid fool..." She cried and hid her face into his chest.

"... I missed you too." John replied with a dry chuckle and ran his hands through her hair, holding her tightly. "I'm so confused." He admitted. "I have to leave to Blackwater tonight but... I'm tired." He sighed, kissing her head and holding her.

"John I know you can do this... You have to." She sniffed, reaching up and running a hand over his cheek, he looked exhausted.

"I know..." He sighed and looked to Harlow. "I do." He said, almost as if he needed her encouragement, he was just happy to see her face... Her sparkling eyes. "... I love you, Miss MacFarlane."

"J-John..." She suddenly blurted and the man looked down to her, she had waited so long to hear those words, but the one thing that had been haunting her over the last few weeks had to be addressed. "We need to talk... Before you leave." She muttered, fidgeting nervously.

"Talk? About what?" John asked just as nervously, wondering if she was going to let him go.

Bonnie turned away and reached up, playing with her hair and gulping. She had been waiting for weeks to reveal her secret and now that she had a chance she was clamming up. She already felt tears coming to her cheeks and she sniffed.

"Bonnie?" John asked, reaching over and touching her shoulder and turning her gently to him. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm just... So afraid of losing you... I love you so much... I'm scared." She whimpered, confusing John greatly.

"Hey... I'm still alive now ain't I?" He asked.

"N-Not like that..." She wept and took a breath. "John... I-I went to the doctor..." She mumbled and met his gaze. "H-He... Thinks I'm pregnant." She revealed and turned away from John again, he was speechless. "I... Won't blame you for disappearing, and I won't ever blame you for never acknowledging him... O-Or her..." She sniffled and tried to stifle her cries.

John stared at the woman's back, memorizing every curvature of her back, he really fucked up... But what he felt was something he wasn't quite expecting... Was he almost excited? He didn't know how he would make this work, surely Drew was ready to hunt him down at any moment. Right now though, he worried about Ross and Archer finding out about his _other_ life... If they found out, he was certain they would toy with it, by either telling Abagail and Jack or worse, taking Bonnie hostage as well.

The silence made Bonnie nauseous with anxiety, but as she felt a gloved hand reach up, running up her back and resting on her shoulder and slowly turning her to him she looked pathetically up at him. John glanced at the front door and back to her.

"... Who knows?" He asked.

"N-No one..." She replied. "E-Everyone who knows... W-Which is just daddy and Doctor Johnston, they think I was raped when I was kidnapped... I didn't want to clarify anything until I told you." She explained and John felt some relief come off his shoulders.

"... I don't want you to think I'm ashamed because I ain't, we need to keep this between us as long as possible." He instructed and took his gloves off and resting them on the railing of the patio as he wiped her tears away. "But right now... I have a lot on the line... And if something were to happen to you... I don't think I could bear it... I don't have a right to ask this of you but, until I take care of my last brother in arms... I need you to keep this a secret..." He said and Bonnie nodded.

"... John, you don't have to be apart of this." Bonnie affirmed, watching John raising a brow.

"Excuse me?" He questioned.

"I-I... I know you're married and have a son of your own already... I don't want to risk shattering that part of your life because of my selfishness... If you can't... A-Acknowledge it... I understand." She murmured.

"Bonnie," John said sternly. "You realize... That when this baby is born whether it's a boy or a girl, it'll be another child of mine regardless... I won't have a bastard." He stated. "It'll be challenging... And I have a lot of thinking to do... I will always cherish Abigail but... Well, we shouldn't discuss this now before my debts are settled but..." He muttered, taking her hand in his own, meeting her gaze.

 _Maybe I'll come back to you..._

"I-I just wanted you to know that I wouldn't give you an ultimatum o-or... Ask you to leave your wife." She said and felt John squeeze her hand.

"And I appreciate that... But I'm going to make this work... For all three of us." He mused, watching relief wash over Bonnie's gaze. "... I love you, Bonnie. That ain't gonna change because of this... Besides, it ain't your fault I had a part to play in this obviously." He chuckled, watching Bonnie blush.

"... I love you, John." She said just above a whisper as she leaned in and kissed his lips.

John had waited for this moment, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, feeling her arms slither around his neck. A sudden primal instinct took over John as he pushed Bonnie against the front door, hearing her gasp. He was so deprived and he had been on edge constantly for the past month, he separated his lips from hers and glanced around, he couldn't stay for too long... But right now...

"C'mere." He ordered and pulled Bonnie around the corner to the side of the house where there were no lights.

At least now they wouldn't be as noticeable... He pulled Bonnie's robe off, throwing it over the railing and bent Bonnie over, her hands coming up and resting against the house. He then reached down and beginning to unbuckle his pants, pulling up Bonnie's gown and pulling down her underwear to her mid-thigh before he shoved his erection within her. She gasped out of pain and reached down, covering her mouth. John released a breath and ran her palm over Bonnie's back and to her ass, giving it a rough squeeze.

He had to admit, he didn't expect to be doing this when he stopped by here, nor was he expecting Bonnie to reveal that she was pregnant... But he wasn't complaining. John did his best to be gentle, but right now he was releasing so much frustration and anxiety as he thrust into her again, trying to stretch Bonnie out before ravaging her.

"John..." Bonnie moaned quietly, signaling that she was ready.

He gripped her hips roughly as he started a savage pace, periodically looking around, making sure there were no prying eyes. John took a fistful of Bonnie's hair, hearing her gasp and yelp out of surprise. However, after a few minutes, John suddenly pulled out.

"Turn around." He commanded breathlessly, she did so with no complaints, facing him, watching him pull her underwear down the rest of the way and pick her up, holding her against the house, reinserting himself within her.

Bonnie felt weightless in his arms as she wrapped her legs around his waist and leaning in, kissing his lips and tugging at his hair in return. did her best to keep her volume to a minimum while John fucked her. She had waited for this moment just as much as he had, and while she wished he could stay, this was better than nothing. She loved him so much, and feeling her orgasm approaching her noises became more high pitched and quick.

"John I'm almost there..." She whimpered, shivering and holding onto John for dear life.

John growled out a soft groan and grinding himself into her. Bonnie whimpered, and once her walls clamped onto John's shaft, his cum spurting into her, watching her shiver and moan at the hot sensation entering her nether regions. The two panted, his forehead resting against her shoulder for a moment and picking his head up to rest it against hers. He then kissed her lips and slowly released her, pulling out and the both of them getting decent once again, John helped Bonnie put her robe back on. She turned to him and caressed his cheek.

"Sorry... I needed that." He sighed and took her hand and kissed her palm.

"... I did too." She replied, smiling and watching John form a grin as well, but he hung his head for a moment.

"I don't want to leave you... I wouldn't if I didn't have to... You know that right?" He asked.

"Yes, John... You've asked me this before." She chuckled softly.

"I know... It never gets easier." He sighed and brought her in for another strong embrace. "... I have to go." He whispered to her and pulled back.

"... Please be safe John..." She pleaded quietly and John reached up, running a hand through Bonnie's hair.

"No promises... But I'll come back to you." He said and sent one last wink at her before he walked out to Harlow.

When he mounted Harlow, he took one last quick glance at Bonnie before he kicked Harlow's sides. Dutch was next... And he would make sure this was the end.

* * *

John rode into Blackwater around eight-thirty that morning, he wasn't a fan of the place, a lot of rich do-nothing people trying to _tame_ the west... Nothing but suits. He allowed Harlow to slow as his hooves began pounding the pavement, he was certain that galloping on the hard surface wasn't comfortable. However the forboding police station made John shudder, he was _not_ excited for this. He hitched Harlow outside the station and walked inside, looking to an accountant who didn't look up.

"101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106..." He counted absentmindedly.

"I'm here to see Mr. Ross." John announced.

"107, 109..." The teller muttered, ignoring John.

"Edgar Ross." John reiterated clearly not going away.

"113, upstairs on the right, 114, 115, 116, 117..." The teller replied with a sigh, obviously irritated at being interrupted.

John nodded discreetly and walked behind the counter, climbing the stairs as anxiety built within him, walking to the office as he watched the younger of his two captors grabbing a rifle.

"Mr. Marston! So glad to see you. How was your journey?" Archer asked casually.

"Where's my wife and son?" John asked seriously, not in the mood for any bullshit.

"Being well looked after... Well looked after." Archer replied smoothly, watching John's jaw clench.

"I want to see them." He said calmly enough.

"Mr. Ross wants to speak with you. We've had some important developments." Archer replied, ignoring John's statement.

"You want me to take out a gun and blow a fucking hole in your head, right here, right now? You want that!?" John barked, stepping towards Archer.

"Mr. Marston-"

"You want that!?" John snarled.

"Mr. Marston, I ask you to calm down." Archer growled.

"Why? Why!? I did what you asked. I got you Williamson and Escuella. It's over. Stop playing games with me!" John hollered irately.

"No one's playing games with you, Mr. Marston! But if we were to play some games, there'd be some interesting ones we could play. Like hanging you for murder, or confiscating all your property, like that little farm of yours, or having you put in the electric chair. Those are the sort of games we could play, but we choose to play a different game, so calm down, and play along with us." Edgar mused as he walked into the room, John's harsh and intense gaze landing on the gray-haired prick.

"Where's my wife?" He interrogated.

"I forget... But I hear it's very nice this time of year... Mr. Marston, please, I've never insulted your meager intelligence. Do not insult mine. We've done this little deal for your freedom in exchange for all the men from your old gang. You gave us Williamson and Escuella. We still don't have Dutch van der Linde, but now we know where he is." Edgar said simply enough.

"Then go and shoot him." John scoffed.

"No, sir, I want you to shoot him for me... And then I'll let you be. The last thing I want to do is make martyrs out of all these people. He can be killed by some petty squabble by another lowlife." Edgar crooned.

"We believe Van Der Linde is holed up with a group of renegades near the wreck of the Serendipity riverboat." Archer informed.

"Ah, yes. Another group of renegades, obviously, the first group, your group, has shall we say, been disbanded. Anyway, Mr. Fordham, Mr. Marston, shall we go? Oh, Mr. Marston, your wife, and son are doing well. Let's both try to ensure things stay that way." Edgar mildly threatened, watching John's eye twitch.

"After you, sir." Archer said, nodding to John.

"Oh, Mr. Marston, one more thing. This is for you." Edgar stated, suddenly taking out a pistol, pressing the barrel against John's chest, but then handing it to him.

"You're too kind..." John countered, sarcasm oozing in his words.

"See? I have nothing but your best intentions at heart." Edgar commented, a malicious smirk appearing at the older man's lips.

"Let's hope it doesn't go off by mistake." John grumbled as they walked out of the office.

John begrudgingly walked out of the police station, glancing to make sure Harlow was still at the post. He then stiffly got into the automobile provided to him. He released an tension filled breath and leaned back, figuring he could at least enjoy the silent ride.

"Head for the Wreck of the Serendipity, Mr. Fordham. Isn't this something? Lawmakers and lawbreakers working together for the good ofcivilizationn?" Edgar asked, of course, he couldn't let John relax in peace...

"Like you always say, sir, the higher the stakes, the smarter you have to play the game." Archer commented back.

"I can't imagine I ever said anything quite so trite. In any case, I'm not sure Mr. Marston would agree with us." Edgar chortled.

"Unfortunately, Mr. Marston isn't broad-minded enough to appreciate the unique opportunity we're offering him." Archer replied back as the two ganged up on him, John did his best to keep himself calm for Abagail and Jack.

"Son-of-a-whore." He growled.

"You'd best watch your damn mouth." Archer sneered back to him.

"And it's strange you should say that Mr. Marston, because, according to my files you are the whore's son. Now, what else can I recall from the files? Oh, let's see. You killed hundreds of innocent people. You robbed at least 40 banks that we're aware of..." Edgar recounted.

"They told us there was a prize when you got to 50." John jeered.

"I'm glad this is all such a joke to ya." Archer scoffed.

"I want my family." John hissed.

"And I'm sure all the men you murdered wanted their families too. Come now, you're stupid, but you're not that stupid. We both know how this has to be. And it could be all over today. As soon as we find Dutch van der Linde, you can go back home and play being a farmer again, or whatever else you've been pretending to do for the last few years." Edgar explained in a tired fashion.

"First it was Bill, now it's Dutch. After Dutch, it'll be somebody else. Where does it end?" John inquired.

"It ends when we say it ends. You're in no position to make demands." Archer scolded.

"The life you lived... You don't just walk away from that, buy a few chickens and make it all disappear. You should be dead or rotting in a jail cell by now. We are giving you a chance at new life, a chance at redemption. You can't erase your past, Mr. Marston, but we can." Edgar explained.

"She's running well, sir." Archer observed.

"Such an elegant way to travel. What do you think of this automobile, Mr. Marston?" Edgar asked.

"Slow." John exasperated, tired of this conversation.

"But so convenient and reliable. Are you comfortable?"

"No." John then sighed.

"You see this, Mr. Fordham? The brooding cowboy. There aren't many of these left, you know. A bit of a cliche, admittedly but still a dying breed. Like the buffalo, just as dumb but not quite as noble." Edgar jibbed.

"They move most cows by rail these days, I hear." Archer noted.

"Not where I'm from they don't." John interjected.

"But you aren't from anywhere." Archer replied.

"A new dawn is breaking, Mr. Marston. This is the age of the machine." Edgar informed.

"And soon we'll all be livin' on the moon." John mocked.

"Maybe. This is the future. Anything is possible. Finally, this godforsaken land is entering the twentieth century. Prosperity has arrived. It's not far now. The old Serendipity has been used as an occasional criminal hideout for years. We were informed that Van Der Linde and his gang are making camp there. We'll stop on the cliff above and you and Agent Fordham will go on foot. I'll stay with the vehicle and keep watch." Edgar said as the automobile came to a stop, the old boat wreckage in the distance.

"And you'll do as I say, Marston. Don't try anything stupid." Archer ordered.

"Oh, I think he knows what's at stake. Don't you, Mr. Marston?" Edgar asked, smirking at John.

"Let's find Dutch and finish this." John fumed.

"Come on then, Marston. You're with me. Keep quiet and stay close." Archer commanded as he started to lead John towards the abandoned ferry.

"Yes, sir." John muttered, rolling his eyes as he followed.

"Van Der Linde is the priority. We go in, take him down and get the hell out of here. Quick and clean." Archer explained.

"You leave Dutch to me. We don't want you gettin' that suit dirty." John slightly taunted.

"If you step out of line even once, well... I hope you're aware of the consequences." Archer huffed and eyed John.

John and Archer walked over the deck and approached the boat boneyard, the two separated briefly as they investigated the first level. It was silent... Desolate even. John looked around cornered, pistol drawn, but he felt... A ball knotting in his stomach... Something wasn't right here. Dutch wouldn't just relax here by himself and it wasn't like him to abandon post with absolutely no guards.

"Seems real quiet, don't you think?" Archer asked as they met up once more on the deck.

"You tell me." John quipped.

"Maybe Dutch caught wind of things. That informant better not have been lying to us. Keep your eyes open." Archer instructed.

"They are open. I don't see nothin'." John scorned.

"It doesn't feel right. This place is usually teeming with lowlifes." Archer muttered uneasily, however, a sudden scream from the upstairs deck made the two look to one another. "Did you hear that? Go see what's happening up there. I'll wait here." Archer directed.

John jogged upstairs, having the howls guided him as he walked in and out of rooms, but hearing another shout from behind a closed door he had just passed, John stopped in his tracks. He twisted the knob, but the door was locked. John wasted no time kicking the door in, seeing a man tied to a chair, a bag over his head.

"Over here! I've found someone!" John called as he approached the man, carefully taking the bag off his head as Archer rushed in.

"Good god, that's our informant! Nastas, what the hell's going on here?" Archer asked frantically.

"It's a trap!" The Native American man gasped out.

"Shit. Marston, you'll have to carry this man. I don't think he can walk." Archer said as he drew his gun.

Everything had to be complicated. John hauled up the man with a small grunt, he was _not_ a light man. He also had to keep Nastas from being shot as the renegades suddenly appeared, shooting at the outlaw and the agent. Archer wasn't a terrible shot, he held his own and was able to help John since he had a handicap at trying to keep the informant safe. Finally getting off the boat after slaying about a dozen men, the three also had to take down multiple men hiding on the dock.

"I can't see any more of them! Come on, follow me!" Archer yelled, the three finally getting to the vehicle.

"Who's this? What in god's name is going on?" Edgar asked as John lifted this fellow into the back seat.

"Put him in the care so we can get out of here! Let's go, there might be more of them." Archer panted as he got into the driver's seat and hightailed it away from the riverboat.

"Christ alive! What the hell happened down there?" Edgar questioned.

"It was a trap. They were waiting for us." Archer answered.

"And who is this savage? A prisoner?" Edgar inquired, peering into the backseat where Nastas limply laid on the seat opposite of John.

"This is the informant, sir." Archer recounted.

"Do you speak English?" Edgar asked slowly, almost ignorantly

"Yes he does, sir. he's the informant. Nastas." Archer stated in a slightly expasterated fashion.

"Don't get snarky with me, Fordham." Edgar snapped.

"We found him tied up on the boat. Then they jumped us." Archer explained.

"Nice of you to help us out. Hell of a plan sendin' in two men to take on an entire gang of outlaws. Especially when one of them's an office clerk or social secretary or some such." John insulted.

"You shut your mouth." Archer snarled as he drove.

However, before anyone can heave a sigh of relief, the vehicle suddenly begins to sputter.

"Come on, not now!" Archer bellowed.

"What's wrong?" Edgar asked frustratedly.

"I don't know, the motor just gave out." Archer said in a panicked fashion as the automobile rolled to a stop.

"Well fix it, you fool! We need to get this man to a doctor." Edgar demanded.

"Of course, sir... It's Dutch's men!" Archer gasped as he saw horses nearing from the distance.

"Marston, we'll hold them off. Fordham, you'll fix that damn engine!" Edgar ordered harshly as he and John jumped out of the car.

John and Edgar ran to cover as Archer desperately tried to revive the dead engine. John peaked over the rock he was currently hiding behind and noted about six people, he took out his shotgun and loaded it, waiting patiently and as soon as someone rode to the side of him he blasted them off their horse. He then took out his pistol as he and Edgar held the assailants off. When the hammering hooves ended, Edgar sped over to Archer.

"I can't see any more of them. Fordham, are we ready?" Edgar asked as John stood.

"Yes, sir, I think so." Archer replied.

"Come on. Let's get back to Blackwater." Edgar huffed, the three climbing back into the vehicle, thankfully the automobile started back up.

"Damn that was close." Archer panted.

"We're lucky to be alive. I'm beginning to see why Mr. Marston has made it to such a ripe old age." Edgar grumbled.

"You'll make me blush with all these kind words. So much for this automobile of yours. If this is the future, God help us all." John groaned.

"It's not the automobile. A bad workman shouldn't blame his tools. Perhaps if Mr. Fordham maneuvered it with a little more finesse." Edgar quipped, side-eyeing Archer.

"I was trying to escape an ambush, sir." Archer replied flatly.

"Even if it was runnin' fine, they'd still have caught us. I can walk faster than this piece of crap. Give me a horse any day. So what now? Do I get to see my family?" John asked, but again, he knew the answer.

"Where is Dutch van der Linde?" Edgar asked back.

"I don't know." John replied, biting his tongue.

"In that case old boy, no, you don't get to see your family. It's a fairly simple agreement, Mr. Marston, even for a man as devoid of intellect as yourself. If you'd like me to explain it again, I'd be more than willing." Edgar provoked.

"No, you've said enough." John seethed.

"We'll find Van Der Linde soon enough. For now, however, I suggest we call it a day." Edgar said in a relaxed fashion.

"So how does it feel? Taking a man's wife and child from him? Does it make you feel good?" John badgered.

"How does it feel to kill hundreds of men in cold blood?" Edgar asserted back.

"You're a coward." John sneered.

"You're a murderer. Actions have consequences, Mr. Marston. Come now. Try to look on the bright side." Edgar mused.

"The bright side? There ain't no bright side." John disagreed.

"Your family is enjoying a much-needed vacation. And in far more luxurious surroundings than those to which they're accustomed to, I assure you. Soon you will be able to start a new life together, absolved of all your sins. We should take the Indian to Professor MacDougal. See what he can get out of him." Edgar suggested.

"Good idea, sir." Archer affirmed.

"I just can't communicate with them." Edgar scoffed.

After reaching downtown, John assisted Archer and Ross in unloading Nastas. Despite not wanting to do a single _thing_ for these two assholes again he didn't have a choice. He was like an imprisoned animal, when he was backed into a corner he wanted to fight but if he fought they would murder his family. He turned away from the police station and he walked over to Harlow, gently petting the pearly horse's pelt.

"Fuck." John sighed in frustraion.

He was so tired... His eyes fluttered shut.

 _I love you, John..._

 _I'm pregnant..._

 _You stupid man!_

 _It's Bonnie you fool!_

John exhaled slowly as the blonde woman's smile filled his mind. He told himself he was doing this for Abagail and Jack, and he was to a small extent... But he was doing it to see Bonnie again... To see he unborn child when they came into the world.

"I'm coming for you, Dutch." He muttered and reopened his smoldering eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

John walked upstairs into the hotel building where a Professor Harold MacDougal currently stayed, he was a harmless man but he was simple-minded despite having studied at Yale University and studying the _simple-minded savages._ However, this wasn't John's business and he did his best to just stay out of it, he was not the most intelligent man but he wasn't a racist man. He had been on both ends of the totem pole in his life, there were times when he was on top of the world and was treated like royalty, and there were times where he was treated like dirt beneath someone's feet. So he made it a point not to make anyone feel the way he did. Walking inside to the hotel room, the Professor had basically made into a studio apartment.

"Incredible. Simply incredible." The professor said with excitement as he looked through a microscope.

"Hello, Professor." John greeted, closing the door behind him.

"Hello, sir! Mr. Marston, sir. Good day, good day. How are you?" Professor MacDougal chirped.

"Well, my family's health and wellbeing are being threatened by some unscrupulous government agents and my own hard-won freedom is under duress, but these problems aside, I suppose I'm fair." John scoffed, shrugging his shoulders.

When the professor began getting in his face though, John's face slightly scrunched up. He didn't particularly care for people getting in his personal space, finally taking a step back.

"Yes, the problems of civilizing nomads. Tell me, sir, are you from Norse stock?" He suddenly asked.

"Not as far as I know. I was raised in an orphanage. My father was Scottish." John replied unevenly.

"Unfortunate. You'd make an interesting case for my theory of natural population characteristics." MacDougal replied, walking to his desk and looking through his microscope, that was a funny looking thing.

"Really?" John asked with a level of disinterest.

"Why yes, a white man obviously, but, but, but with a savage spirit. Trust me, sir, I mean savage in the best possible sense. Natural nobility, but also simple. _Pure._ I've been looking at some blood samples through my microscope and you know what?" MacDougal asked, not looking up.

"No." John said simply.

"Ah, well, of course, you don't. It's a remarkable breakthrough. I've been looking at the blood of both natives and white men of corresponding height, weight, and age and you know what?"

"Again, no."

"They're exactly the same! It's remarkable. It completely refutes my last book, but I'll tell you what, sir, this sabbatical in the field may have been somewhat forced upon me by circumstance, but my scholarship has benefitted enormously! Would you, like to partake of a syringe of cocaine? I've quite enough for two." MacDougal offered.

"Not right this minute, no." John replied.

"It's a remarkable drug. It entirely restores the ego. Takes one back to a primal state. Helps my thinking enormously. Oh, Nastas! Come on. Come in, sir!" MacDougal exclaimed as the native American man walked through the doorway, but John nearly got secondhand embarrassment as the professor started speaking slowly and moronically, if ignorance had a face, this would be it. "Would you like to take off your slippers? Or skin a rabbit? I know we cannot see the stars, but still, my heart is pure, and we meet as equals!" He says, enunciating each word stupidly. "These savages must be spoken to simply in metaphors." He said in sideways to John.

"No, sir. I grew up on a reservation and attended school." Nastas replied, he definitely looked better than the last time John had seen him when he rescued the native from the riverboat.

"Oh. Lovely." MacDougal said.

"But I can show you what you want to see. I know where the group of bandits you seek are hiding. Both of you. Van der Linde has attracted a following of young men on the reservation. They are turning to bad things." Nastas explained, piquing John's interest, he only wanted Dutch.

"The savage heart cannot be conventionally civilized! I was right all along!" MacDougal rejoiced.

"Where is Dutch van der Linde based?" John questioned.

"In the hills in Cochinay. Let's go. I know a way there that is not guarded." Nastas offered.

"Marvelous. Simply marvelous. Time to do our bit for humanity, Mr. Marston." MacDougal said standing.

"Come. Let's hurry. Stay close." Nastas instructed.

The trio then walk outside onto the Blackwater streets, mounting their rides and beginning to head out of the crowded town.

"So I understand we have a mutual interest in Mr. Van der Linde?" MacDougal asked curiously.

"You gonna kill him too?" John asked bluntly.

"Kill him? Good God, no! What is it with your people out here? No, Van der Linde fascinates me. A white man living among natives. A civilized mind turned savage. It's 'reverse integration'... Or 'regressive acculturation'... I don't know, I haven't found a name I like yet." MacDougal quickly explained.

"He was never that civilized..." John snorted.

"Ah, but of course! Edgar Ross mentioned your unique history with the man, although I was away with the fairies at the time, I must admit. Surfing great waves of euphoria. Well anyway, yes, some kind of Robin Hood-Oedipus-communist tale of naivety and betrayal, if I remember correctly?"

"We ran in a gang together, Professor. I wouldn't try to read too much into it."

"It's my job to read too much into everything, dear boy."

John, Nastas and Professor MacDougal rode into the woods, this was John's favorite area, he much preferred the woods to the desert and the crowds of Blackwater.

"These trees are quite foreboding, Nastas. A-A-A-Are you sure this is the right way?" MacDougal babbled.

"Yes, sir." Nastas replied straightforwardly.

"It's rather dark." MacDougal described.

"Ain't you never seen trees before? I thought you were a brave cultural explorer." John commented.

"Good lord, no. I rarely leave my room. I explore with the mind, Mr. Marston." MacDougal informed.

"Enjoy it while you still can. Soon you will have cut down all of these trees." Nastas stated solemnly.

"Me? Or are you making a sweeping statement about the white man in general?" MacDougal asked, John could have answered that question, but this wasn't John's fight.

"There is no respect for the land anymore." Nastas growled seriously.

"I'm sensing some hostility, Nastas. Some anger. Talk me through this primal emotion, where it's coming from?" MacDougal asked, again, this was a question that was obvious to John but he just subtly rolled his eyes and stayed out of it.

"Don't worry about it, Professor..." Nastas sighed in an exasperated fashion.

The trio arrived to some intimidating mountains, John looked up, his expression normal as MacDougal gulped. While John wasn't the most experienced hiker, he had maneuvered some _interesting_ getaways in his days, he could take his time here... Then again, this place was much harsher.

"Here's the cliffs. We'll leave the horses here and climb the rest of the way." Nastas said as he and John dismounted their horses, John patted Harlow gently before beginning to walk towards the cliffs.

"Remarkable... I'm afraid I don't really have much of a head for heights. More of a head for highs... Well, well anyway. I'm sure Nastas will help you. I must be on my way. I've got work to do." MacDougal muttered, backing away from the two outdoorsmen.

"Thanks for the help." John murmured, glancing to Nastas, having no clue how he put up with MacDougal's shit.

"Goodbye, gentlemen. Enjoy yourselves." MacDougal said and quickly rode off back towards town.

John and Nastas watched the professor ride away, they gave each other sideways glances in silent understanding before they turned back to the cold mountains. John shuddered a bit, he had forgotten how nasty the weathers could get up here.

"Come on. I see a spot where we can climb up." Nastas said and pointed to a nearby ledge.

John helped hoist Nastas up to the scaffold that rested carefully at the ledge, however when Nastas stood, a snapping sound, forced the man to jump forward. Watching the scaffold give away, John stood out of the way to make sure he wasn't hit with anything... But now he was stranded.

"Damn! See if you can find another route, Mr. Marston. I will have a look around." Nastas said and pointed to the _literal_ cliffs beside them.

John sighs, but he doesn't have a choice. Navigating the cliffs definitely reminded John of how old he was getting, he was by no means _old_ but he wasn't in his prime anymore. He panted, sweating despite being in the snow. He just kept getting higher and higher, glancing over the edge he quickly leaned back. John didn't exactly have an aversion to heights but at _this_ height, it would make any man queasy. He took off his hat for just a moment, fanning himself before continuing to ascend.

John approached a kill sight, a ram laid dead... It was a fresh kill. John looked around, the area was quiet... But he took a breath and dropped to the snowy floor, approaching the ram, it had a good rack. However hearing a hiss to his left, John quickly drew his rifle. A yowl emitted and the mountain lion emerged. He pointed the rifle at the cat as he started circling.

"... Back!" John snapped and thrust the barrel of his gun towards the predator, it was probably a good fifteen feet away from John but it jumped back some and snarled. "Get back!" He roared, hoping he wouldn't have to kill the puma, recalling Nastas' words that no one respected nature nowadays. Thankfully, the cougar realized that it wouldn't win and hissed but ran in the opposite direction.

Thankfully, the cougar realized that it wouldn't win and hissed but ran in the opposite direction. John sighed in relief but kept his gun at hand until he was a comfortable distance away. John finally began to descend, plopping onto the snow, seeing Nastas inspecting an abandoned cave, turning his attention over as John approached.

"I think there is a path through this cave. Yes, look at this. A mine shaft. This way." Nastas called and motioned John over to the opening.

John and Nastas walked throughout the mineshaft, it was eerily quiet... John looked over the walls in the lit corridors, it couldn't be abandoned. Suddenly though before both John and Nastas could react, a sudden crazed maniac jumped out of the shadows, cackling and swinging a knife, nearly missing Nastas' neck but slicing into his arm. Thankfully before more damage could be done, both John and Nastas fill the assailant with bullets. John then walked up to inspect the wound before a smokey smell hit his nose, the two looked over a minecart rolling towards them.

"Dynamite! Run!" Nastas gasped, John's eyes widened and sprinted out of the mineshaft before a sudden _BOOM_ exploded, John looked over and sighed in relief, Jesus how in the hell did they get ahold of so much dynamite, but seeing Nastas sitting and holding a bloodied arm he bent over to see the slice.

"I'm hurt pretty bad..." Nastas muttered.

"I don't think you should go any further." John said honestly.

"I'll be fine, but you go ahead. I don't want to slow you down." Nastas said and John frowned.

"Are you sure you're alright?" John questioned.

"Just need to take it slow. Go on. I'll catch up, or see you on the way down." Nastas encouraged and pointed to the mineshaft.

John hesitated but he walked up the mineshaft. The thing felt miles long, climbing up multiple ladders and navigating through what felt like countless caverns. Reaching the top, John gasped softly and knelt down, spotting a scout ahead, using binoculars to look down. John decided to take the advantage while he was distracted, he took out his knife and quickly swung an arm around the other's neck, covering his mouth while he slit the man's throat. After he fell John drug the man a short distance away before taking the binoculars that the scout had dropped.

There seemed to be a camp down below, John looked around before standing up straight. He then peered down below at the camp, looking around. John hummed quietly until a sudden... _Very familiar_ sight graced him... It was Dutch, no question, the dark-skinned man was directing native American's pointing to multiple places. John was actually floored he took his gaze away for a moment just looking down at the camp before putting the binoculars over his eyes. What he saw he didn't have enough time to react.

John felt the bullet of Dutch's gun hit his head, he was sure he was dead... How Dutch managed to see him he would never know... Perhaps there was some a Dutch left, just a little bit...

When John woke, his eyes began fluttering, a pungent odor hitting his nose as his eyes fluttered. He was alive..? He was certain Dutch nailed a headshot, but as he recalled what happened, Dutch hit the binoculars, not him... He was lucky, but as he realized he was inside a room he shook his head.

"Mr. Marston. Here you go, Mr. Marston." MacDougal cooed, John quickly shoved the bottle away.

"Put that stuff away." John groaned, reaching up to rub his head where he had been struck, just a small bruise.

"You banged your head. Nastas and I carried you down." MacDougal explained, but seeing Nastas glare at him he chuckled nervously. "Well, Nastas heard the shots and he hurried up to rescue you, and he carried you down. I improvised an escape plan. I'm more of a planner than a man of action." He said as John sat up.

"Thank you, gentlemen." John said and looked for his hat, reaching over and snatching it off the end table he put it on top of his head where it belonged.

"Friends of mine are with Van der Linde." Nastas disclosed.

"We must try to reason with them, sir. Van der Linde's gang contains several natives. We must meet with them and try to save them from disaster." MacDougal declared.

"My people have already endured many disasters. Before, this was all our land." Nastas snarled softly.

"And now we have brought you civilization. Well sure it hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been easy for anyone, Nastas. Why, I knew a man in Yale whose father once shot 18 natives in one afternoon out in Wyoming. The man was quite, quite traumatized. He took to lying with choirboys." MacDougal told, John stared at him dumbfounded, was this man serious?

"For a wise man, you are a very stupid man, mister." Nastas stated to MacDougal, growing impatient.

"Gentlemen, I'm going to leave you to figure out right from wrong..." John muttered, sensing the growing tension in the room.

"You are simple-minded, sir. Thus, I do not blame you for not understanding reason..." MacDougal defended, but timidly began backing away as Nastas started stepping up to him aggressively. "Then again..." He fretted, but John paused.

"Hey, professor... Mind if I use your address?" John asked.

"O-Oh sure what for?" MacDougal inquired.

"Personal mail, I'm being monitored so... I have to be careful on how I send my mail." He said.

"Oh, of course, my boy!" MacDougal beamed and John nodded a thank-you before stepping out of the room.

John replayed the scene through his head... Dutch looked _right at him_... Like he _saw_ John. It was haunting the veteran of violence and he reached up, rubbing the welt, but it turned out to be a cut where the binoculars were forced into his forehead. This was war, Dutch took a shot at him... He sighed and walked out to Harlow, thankful they the two men had brought his horse down but now was a good time to visit the lawmen once again, well... It was never a good time but John didn't have a choice. He hummed softly, he should write a letter to Bonnie, he walked to the post office and bought a small stack of paper and an ink pen before heading back to the hotel and sitting in the lobby so he could write.

He missed Bonnie... But he would stay away as long as she would be safe. If she was captured again he didn't know what he would do.

 _Dear Miss MacFarlane-_

He paused and crumpled up the paper, and starting again on a new sheet.

 _Dear Bonnie,_

 _I wish I could see you, part of me wishes I could just ask how your day was, how you're feeling... I wish we could be casual but whenever I'm able to see you I just pour everything I wasn't able to get out while I was away... I'm sorry for being such a dog the last time I saw you, I've been craving you and when I saw you in your pink gown, your hair down and your robe parting down the middle... You were so beautiful Bonnie... It reminded me the first time I saw you when you were cleaning my face..._

 _I miss you so much it hurts Bonnie... I'm so afraid that my captors will find out about you and that you'll be put in danger on my account... That our unborn child will be in danger._

 _I do have good news though, I have an address you can send mail to now, I'll post it on the envelope so you can write back to me, if you want. I know you'll hate hearing about this, but I was shot at a few hours ago and it hit my head... I was using binoculars at the time so it deflected the bullet, I'm a lucky man today... And I'm even luckier to have you in my life._

 _I love you, and I can't wait to be free of these bonds... But for now, write to me if you can, it'll help keep me above water._

 _Love,_

 _John Marston_

John wrote the return address on the envelope and making sure to write: _From Professor Harold MacDougal_ so it wouldn't arouse suspicion before discreetly slipping it into the outgoing mailbox. It was time to become an indentured servant once again in the morning but he was exhausted and his head was pounding. He needed a rest, walking into the saloon down the block he walked up to the bar and ordered a few shots before picking up a room and passing out.

* * *

Bonnie slept a lot as the pregnancy began to sink in over the time, Drew was protective over her, working near her a lot and probably driving her crazy but he couldn't help himself. When the mail came he strolled out to it, flicking through the envelopes, seeing one from Bonnie from a _Professor MacDougal_ he hummed but walked upstairs and slid it under her door.

The exhausted woman laid in bed, since the doctor had given her a prescription for nausea the only symptom that was really affecting her was the fatigue, her father made sure the farmhands lessened her workload. There were whispers going around that she was pregnant, that she was getting married, that she was having an affair with a married man which wasn't a lie... But she didn't confirm any statements if she were asked, thankfully though no one asked her yet.

Seeing the envelope slide under her door she sat up and sighed before standing and walking over and grabbing it. Professor MacDougal? She didn't know anyone by that name... The penmanship was familiar though, so she opened the letter and beamed as she realized who it was from. Reading the letter carefully she felt elated that she could finally send some letters back and update her on her condition. She knew he was probably worried sick about her.

Bonnie didn't waste any time, she got dressed, put her hair up and walked downstairs with the envelope after she hid John's letter away. She picked up a piece of paper and began writing right away.

 _Dear John,_

 _I'm so happy I can finally write you back, now at least you know for sure that I got your letters, I have to say, for a man who claims not to be a romantic, you sure know how to make a girls heart flutter._

 _I want to strangle you when you tell me about your dangers but you're right, you are lucky to be alive and I thank god that you are. My condition isn't getting much worse, I know you're worrying. I'm much more tired than usual but other than that I'm not sick or in pain. Every time I get a letter of yours I cry because I'm happy to hear from you, I managed to keep my tears in this time cause I know now I can write back._ _The baby is doing well I suppose, still making me woozy and tired but we're doing alright._

 _I miss you so much and I'm glad I can express myself as well. You don't have to apologize for what happened, I wanted it too, I wish you could have stayed longer but the dedication you have to your family takes first priority I understand._

 _If for some reason your captors decide to rile me up, they'll see what kind of woman I really am, I don't take kindly to people disrupting my work, and since I'm working for two now, I will be twice as much to handle. Did you find the man you were looking for? You got shot so I'm assuming you got close, are you alright?_

 _I have so many questions to ask but if I ask them all you'll be writing for days trying to answer all of them._

 _I love you, John Marston, I can't wait to see you again. I just remember that when I'm tired or down, that soon enough I'll have a bundle of part of us in my arms._

 _Write soon, John._

 _Love,_

 _Bonnie MacFarlane_

Bonnie then packed the letter into the envelope, wrote the address that John had left her and sent it to MacDougal and walking out to the post office on the ranch and sent it, paying a little extra to send it through priority. At least now she and John could correspond back and forth.

* * *

"What a pleasant surprise - Mr. Marston! An informant just told us some interesting news. Our mutual friend Mr. Van der Linde is about to pay a call on his bank manager. What do you say to having a little financial discussion with the fellow? This way." Edgar chirped as John walked into the office a couple days later.

"Let's get up on the roof. We'll have a clear shot at them from there." Archer added as the two got two long-barreled rifles assembled.

"That door is the only way in and out of the building, so cover it tight. Do you see the horses to the left, by the building across the street? Dutch's boys hitched them there. They have to run that way to make their escape. Don't start shooting until they're out in the open. If we spook them, they may retreat back and hole up inside. Don't shoot until I give you the signal. Keep your sights trained on that bank door." Edgar ordered and John grabbed a rifle offered by the lawmen.

The sight became a bloody one, bandits began shooting from all angles and John, with the help of Edgar, Archer, the Sherrif and multiple officers, slaughtered the bunch of them.

"Marston, head into the bank with Hopkins and Manning. Get Dutch. Be careful, there may be some innocent people there." Edgar barked, John and law enforcement began sprinting towards the quiet building.

"We can take 'em! Come on! Let's get in there!" A deputy roared and the group storms in.

John managed to save the hostages from meeting a particularly brutal fate, Dutch's men weren't trained the way John was. They were easy to take down and were missing John by a mile.

"Everybody out! Run! Now!" John commanded, watching the innocate people scurry out past them.

"Good work. Dutch ain't down here, he's gotta be hiding upstairs somewhere. He must be in here! Marston, get the door, we got you covered." Sherrif Manning stated, watching John kick down the door, but when the group ran in, his man was there... Holding a woman hostage.

"It's nice to see you, John." Dutch mused, John pointing his revolver at him.

"Hello, Dutch." John greeted, narrowing his eyes.

"How's Abigail?" Dutch asked, knowing it would blow a vein in John's head.

"Well, I hope. I ain't seen her for awhile..." John replied smoothly, he couldn't afford to get angry and blow his shot at killing Dutch.

"Cause you've been chasing me?" Dutch questioned, grinning cynically.

"Let the woman go, Dutch." John ordered calmly.

"Of course, of course... How's your little boy?" Dutch questioned, stalling for time.

"He ain't so little now." John muttered, it had been so long since he had seen his son.

"No, he must be what, fifteen? Sixteen? Doesn't time fly?" Dutch inquired, wearing an unreadable smirk on his features.

"Don't it just? It's over, man." John declared, the woman breathing shaky breaths and looking at John, her eyes pleading.

"Of course, of course. I surrender, John. You're the master now." Dutch chuckled.

"I've been my master since you left me to die." John hissed lightly.

"We all make mistakes, John. I never claimed to be a saint. But equally, I never took you for an errand boy." Dutch taunted, trying to get at John.

"Just trying to help my family, Dutch, by making compromises we all have to. Now let her go, it's over." John ordered a bit more firmly.

"You want the girl, John? You always were the romantic sort. You know, gentlemen, this man here, he married a whore. Used to ride with us. We all had her, but he married her, and you know that makes him a better man than us... In fact, he's having another baby, ain't ya John..? He's a better man. Have the girl, John." Dutch said, meeting John's gaze as the glint of panic with through John's eyes from the information, but it was replaced with a tension as Dutch took a step with the girl.

"Easy, Dutch." John warned, sweat gathering at his brows.

"She's a parting gift from me." Dutch informed, pushing the woman towards them, but before they could get her to safety Dutch pulled the trigger, successfully blowing her brains out, slipping behind her and out of the room as they made their way out of the building for a quick escape.

"Goddamn!" John bellowed as he caught the girls body, slowly lowering her to the ground and closing her eyes.

"What the hell happened in there? This is your fault, Marston!" The Sherrif yelled as they began running out of the building.

"You got a gun too, Sheriff!" John snapped back.

"You waited too long." The Sherrif sneered.

"Next time I'll just shoot the girl." John replied, as he mounted Harlow and began riding out of Blackwater, desperately trying to catch up to Dutch as Edgar and Archer caught up to them on horseback as well.

"What happened in there? We saw Van der Linde escaping with some men." Edgar asked.

"He stole off with the bank manager in an automobile." Archer added.

"Let's just say, Dutch ain't gone and got himself sane. He killed some poor woman." John responded, following the tire tracks.

"There's an old logging camp further down this road. It's been abandoned for years. My guess is that's where they're headed. Come on, follow me! So, that's the great Dutch? What a role model. The man who made who you are." Edgar jested.

"I guess so." John sighed.

"Has he changed?" Archer asked.

"No, still the same crazy bastard he turned into." John replied with disappointment.

"How was it seeing him after all this time? Did it tug on your heartstrings?" Edgar jeered.

"Kinda reminds me of you. Violent piece of shit who went and confused himself with God." John snarled slightly.

"Isn't that sweet of you? And now you must kill him. Your side is chosen." Edgar snorted.

"My side ain't chosen. My side was given. I'd kill you a hundred times before I killed Dutch, if it was an option." John stated seriously, narrowing his eyes at Edgar.

"Hallelujah! I think we're finally reaching an understanding, Mr. Marston." Edgar chuckled.

"Who the hell are you fellas anyway? Lawmen or army?" John finally asked,

"We are neither, Mr. Marston." Archer retorted.

"But I have the authority over both." Edgar affirmed.

The barrage finally approached a flaming wreck of a car, John looked around frantically but there was no sign of Dutch. However they were also met with an army of rebels descending from Tall Trees, John was shocked at how many people Dutch got to follow him. John had to admit though, Dutch was an influential man, he followed Dutch for a while, but John didn't hesitate to put all the sheep down.

"Where's Dutch, Marston?" Edgar growled approaching John.

"He got away." John sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Scared to shoot him? Too much to handle?" Edgar badgered.

"When the opportunity presents itself, I'll put a bullet in him, don't you worry. Won't like myself for doing it, but I'll do it." John assured and Edgar nodded.

"Good man, good man. You know, at the end of this, you'll probably get a medal. I know I shall." Edgar stated with a grin, John rolled his eyes and watched the lawmen ride back into town.

John took a moment to overlook the graveyard they had just created, there were dozens of men laying in the field. He sighed and mounted Harlow, John replayed the scene over in his head. He tried to think that Dutch was just trying to get a rise out of him but he knew in his heart he would be a huge coward if he believed that. Dutch needed to be put down and if this was going to affect him that bad he wouldn't be able to do it.


	13. Chapter 13

As John rode back into Blackwater, he decided to stop by MacDougal's hotel it had been a few days since he had sent his letter, maybe Bonnie wrote back? He could only hope after the shitty day he had, but upon walking into the hotel and checking MacDougal's mailbox there was nothing inside. He sighed with disappointment but he walked up to MacDougal's room, he would much rather deal with MacDougal's shenanigans rather than the lawmen.

"Marston, sir, it's good to see you, old bean, good to see you." MacDougal greeted pleasantly.

"And you too, Professor." John replied smoothly.

"Forgive me. I am in a state of remarkable agitation. Partly due to standard narcotic impulses, but also due to the fact that I have finally solved the riddle that has tormented my mind these past 8 years." He stated.

"What's that?" John questioned.

"The nature of the savage soul! What makes some societies great, like ours, and others... Not worse - I would never use a pejorative such as worse - but, but, but, but lesser!" MacDougal blabbered quickly.

"Meaning?" John asked, raising a brow as MacDougal spoke, this guy definitely had a screw loose.

"Meaning: What makes these beings less human than us! Closer to beast on the continuum between animal and god. You know. I argued with Fortisque at Yale about this. It caused a minor scandal, but I shall be proven right, sir. I shall. Mark my words! I shall show them all what civilization is about. The red skins and the nobs at Yale! Come, sir! I have a way to sate both our desires. I will bring you Van der Linde; and me, the evidence of savages reverting to type. Come, sir- Oh! I almost forgot in my cocaine-filled rant, this came for you, is it from your wife? Her name is Bonnie? I didn't know you were having another child." MacDougal barraged, handing John the unfolded paper, obviously too excitable to really _read_ what the letter entailed.

"What are you doing reading another man's mail?" John growled, snatching the paper.

"Well in my defense, my good man, it was addressed to me." MacDougal said as Marston rode. "I didn't know your wife was pregnant. Congratulations sir!" MacDougal cheered.

"She... Ain't my wife." John admitted, seeing the realization wash over MacDougal's face.

"O-Oh! Oh... Um... W-Well still it's a new life, and one you created nonetheless! I still must say congratulations." MacDougal stated.

"Thank you... I'll write to her later, where did you want me to go?" John asked, setting the letter back on MacDougal's desk before walking with the hyped up nerd out of the hotel towards the street.

"Follow me. I asked Nastas to bring the horses around front. Q-Q-Q-Quick, man, quick. My heart's beating like a drum!" MacDougal stuttered.

"Try to calm down, Professor." John muttered.

"Calm down? I-I've never been so excited in all my life!" MacDougal said in a hysterical fashion as Nastas brought the horses, John mounted Harlow without a second thought.

"Hello, Professor, Mr Marston." Nastas greeted calmly.

"This is it! Years of research!" MacDougal yowled.

"What were you talkin' about back there? Where we goin'?" John asked seriously.

"Nastas has set up a meeting. A pow-wow, I think they call it. A meeting of minds! Of souls! Indians and whites, academics and criminals, coming together to find a common understanding!" MacDougal chattered.

"Nastas, this fool's makin' no sense." John scoffed, looking over to Nastas, hoping to get real answers.

"Some of Van Der Linde's men have agreed to meet with Professor MacDougal up at Bear Claw cabin." Nastas explained.

"Why the hell would they wanna do that?" John asked suspiciously.

"I think they are interested to find out what conclusions a white man was reached on hundreds of years of culture and society from the comfort of his hotel room." Nastas jabbed, watching John smirk.

"Wonderful! Do you think I could ask for a skin sample from the soles of their feet?" MacDougal asked, completely missing the discreet insult.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Nastas muttered in reply.

"I'm actually a little nervous, I have to say. A touch of the old jitters." MacDougal crowed excitedly.

"No kiddin'." John snorted.

"It's no small relief to have the two of you along with me. Especially you, Nastas." MacDougal praised. but before any celebrations could be had a grizzly walked into the mens path, John tensed but slowed his horse to a stop along with Nastas, but in MacDougal's eccentric state he gasped.

"A bear! Shoot it! Shoot it!" He yelled, open firing on the animal, causing it to roar loudly and begin to charge.

"Are you crazy? What's wrong with you?!" John snapped, getting Harlow out of the way from the path of the monster, John had no choice but to draw his most powerful rifle and take the animal down, when the bear fell the men regrouped.

"Thank heavens! Now let's get out of here." MacDougal sighed in relief and they began galloping off back towards the cabin. "My goodness. I'm still shaking. What a ferocious animal." He said cowardly.

"That bear showed no signs of aggression. If we hadn't shot first, it most likely would have ignored us and moved on." Nastas growled.

"All very well for you to say. Perhaps you have some kind of primal bond with these animals, but I, sir, do not." MacDougal replied with a small scoff.

Riding through the dense forests of Tall Trees and passing Manzanita Post. Finally arriving at the cabin, the group dismounting their rides. John still felt uneasy, this was _too_ convenient...

"This is it." Nastas stated.

"Well, let's get this started. I hope I don't have to smoke a pipe!" MacDougal chuckled.

The trio walked into the cabin, they were greeted by a few intimidating Native American thugs. MacDougal gulped but spoke anyway, still trying to remind himself how excited he was.

"Hello, gentleman. We come in peace." He said trying to be confident in his words.

"Those words mean nothing coming from people like you. Look at what you've done to us, look at us! We live like animals, scrambling in the dirt." The leader of the opposing team snarled aggressively, the two with him folding their arms.

"Well, I... I... Violence isn't the answer!" MacDougal whimpered.

"Maybe you live in a different America than we."

"Men like Van der Linde will lead you to disaster!"

"I think we've already experienced disaster. The likes which you could only imagine. Put your hands up!" The native man growled, the group pulling their weapons on John, MacDougal and Nastas.

"We come in peace! Do as he says, Marston..." MacDougal dribbled.

"You call this a meeting?" John growled.

"Give me your damn weaponry!" The other demanded.

"This is not what we agreed." Nastas said carefully, taking a step forward trying to calm the situation.

"You shut your mouth, you treacherous snake!" The stranger spat, suddenly blowing a hole through Nastas' head, John not taking a second thought at shooting all the assailants.

"Holy shit... Damn you, Dutch!" John sneered as he looked to the bodies, but looking out the window he saw more people beginning to swarm in from the mountains. "Professor, get down, now!" He commanded and shoved MacDougal to the side so he didn't get shot as he too ducked beneath the window.

As the shootout began John reloaded his guns, he noted about sic people, not too hard, but since MacDougal barely had any experience with guns, he had to take down all the men himself.

"They killed Nastas! Marston, you have to get us out of here!" MacDougal panicked.

"Stay down and keep quiet!" John barked.

"Whatever you do, please don't leave me in here!" MacDougal begged as John finished killing Dutch's men. "I think I've had about enough of field work for today. Time to return home, sir." MacDougal fretted.

"I don't know about you, Professor, but I say we get the hell out of here." John implored.

"Yes, let's get out of this hellhole and back to civilization." MacDougal agreed.

John and MacDougal jogged to their horses and began their trek back to Blackwater.

"My god. I feel terrible. My head is pounding." MacDougal groaned.

"Gettin' shot at'll do that to you." John replied.

"I'm completely drained. It's like my body has aged ten years."

"Stop moanin' and ride. You're alive, ain't ya?"

"I must say... Cocaine can be a cruel mistress."

John and MacDougal rode quickly, thankfully not running into any more men as they finally reach Blackwater in what felt like hours.

"Blackwater, ahh! I will never talk ill of you again!" MacDougal rejoiced as their horse's hooves hit the asphalt.

"Civilization in all its glory, Mr. MacDougal." John agreed.

"And am I glad to be back! I'm in dire need of a syringe. Something to clear the mind and restore the spirit." MacDougal stammered.

"So, you ain't plannin' on sleepin', then?" John questioned.

"Sleep? My dear boy, I'll probably never sleep again." MacDougal stated as the two parked their horses and walked into MacDougal's hotel. "Safe and sound. Thank the Lord." He panted,

"So much for a meeting of minds." John mocked slightly.

"Thank you, Mr. Marston. I could be boiling in a pot right now, if it wasn't for you." MacDougal thanked, patting John's shoulder.

"Get some rest, Professor. I'm going to write to Miss MacFarlane if you don't mind, I'll get out of your hair after if you don't mind." John muttered.

"Of course not my boy, take as long as you need." MacDougal said and walked into his room.

John nodded and walked in as well, watching MacDougal ready another syringe on his bed. He sat at the desk and began writing, he desperately needed to write to Bonnie.

 _Dear Bonnie,_

 _To answer some of your questions, yes, I found Dutch... He was just as twisted as he was when he left me, he blew a poor girls brains out when he took her hostage when I caught him robbing a bank. I wish I could have stopped him, he then got one of the men I work with killed. He's taking advantage of the Natives of the area, promising a new life and freedom... Exactly what he promised me._

 _I'm sorry, I know this is depressing so I won't go too much into it... He got into my head a little and I'm doing my best to keep him out... I just keep thinking about you and our kid... I still can't believe I'm saying that... It's incredible to me that in eight short months I'll have another child with the woman I fell in love with along the way of this perilous journey bullshit..._

 _When Bill shot me I thought it was the end... I thought that was it, but you picked me up... I'm not a religious man, nor am I a romantic but I thank god that I met you whenever I can... Cause I'm lucky to have you._

 _Ask whatever you want, I enjoy answering your questions. As always, I love you and I'm eagerly awaiting your next letter._

 _Love,_

 _John Marston_

John glanced up as he finished his letter to see that MacDougal was looking through his microscope with jittery hands. He sighed and stood, not bothering to bother the _scientist_ before he walked out to the outgoing mailbox and slipping it inside. He thought he may have a few days, perhaps he could go see Bonnie..?

* * *

Bonnie walked towards the farmhouse after a day of work it had been a week since she had sent John her letter, she hummed quietly as she saw the mailman drop off the mail, she went right up to her letterbox and surfed through it, gasping in delight as she saw from a Mr. Harold MacDougal. She walked into the house and read the letter with urgency, biting her lip as she read John's words, he seemed... Sad almost solemn. She worried about him.

She didn't waste any time in her reply, she began writing frantically, smiling at her letter, she did have more questions after all... And perhaps some naughty words to share to try and cheer her man up. When it was over, she rested the letter from John on the kitchen counter and walked out towards the post office, but as she walked up to the door she stopped, there was a man in a flashy suit, smoking a cigarette by the door... He was almost intimidating and next to the Office there as an automobile which a lot of her ranch hands were ogling.

Bonnie shook her head but continued walking anyway, it's not like he was doing anything wrong.

"... Are you Miss Bonnie MacFarlane?" The man asked after walking out of the office.

"... It depends on whose askin'." Bonnie replied, stepping away from the stranger.

"My name is Archer Fordham, I'm working with Mister John Marston... Well... He's working for me." Archer said and Bonnie gulped, John mentioned the government in his affairs and she was worried that this was going to end badly.

"I don't know a John Marston." She said quickly and began walking away.

"Well, my sources say you do... Not only that... I have evidence of your... _Special_ affiliation with Mister Marston." Archer mused, stopping Bonnie in her tracks, watching her turn.

"What are you talking about..? We're friends, I saved his life while he was hunting down the men you're imposing on him..." Bonnie growled softly, not liking the way this _Archer_ spoke of John.

"Friends huh..? This photo of you and him together says otherwise." Archer said, holding up the polaroid.

Sweat began forming at Bonnie's brow, as she slowly approached Archer and snatched the photo. The photo depicted her and John kissing by the back door of her house when he was here... She didn't know who took it or how this man got ahold of it... But she looked up to him.

"... Keep that... I have plenty other copies..." Archer taunted, smirking.

"W-What do you want?" She asked.

"That's better... Firstly, I don't know what John told you about me and my associate, but we have him under our thumb because we should have had him hung. He was murder, a thug, a thief... Killed a lot of innocent people... We already have his wife and child in custody... I assume you knew of them right..?" He asked and Bonnie looked away.

"... Yes, I knew." She replied.

"... They don't know of you... Yet."

"Don't tell them..." Bonnie begged.

"And why shouldn't I..?" Archer asked.

"Cause if you want John's full cooperation you need to keep his head straight." Bonnie jeered.

"Or, I could tell them for the fun of it and take you into custody to keep his head straight... Or... You can pay my associate and I for our silence... Thirty percent of your total earnings... And if you tell John, we burn this little settlement to the ground... And we take you into custody anyway..." Archer said and Bonnie's eyes narrowed.

"... You're a monster..." She sneered.

"No, but _you_ are sleeping with one... That's your bad decision..." Archer said putting out his cigarette and handed Bonnie his card. "We will be in touch... And congratulations on the baby..." He said and smirked, waking to the car and driving out of the settlement.

Bonnie reached up and rubbed her head and looking back to the photo. It was _definitely_ her and John... But if she gave those men thirty percent of her earnings... She didn't think her and her ranch could survive... Only time could tell, but little did she know this was only the _start_ of her problems. Walking into the house she was met with her father, glaring her down with the letter from John in his hand. She gasped and looked from the letter to Drew and back to the letter.

"D-Dad-"

"What did you do?" He asked.

"Daddy listen it's-"

"What in God's name did you do!?" He roared, watching Bonnie flinch. "Did he do this to you?" He asked pointing at her stomach area.

"... _We_ did it together dad... You know how children are made you had six of 'em." She muttered.

"How could you be so stupid!? He's a delinquent! A goddamn hooligan! How could you let this happen to you!?"

"Listen pa, I know you're surprised but I don't appreciate you talkin' badly about John this way..." Bonnie said as calmly as she could. "... He's not just some dumb animal-"

"Coulda fooled me!"

"Daddy!" Bonnie finally snapped. "I love him! I know he ain't exactly Prince Charming but dammit he saved my life and _our_ livelihood on multiple occasions! He's not just a goddamn outlaw, I _love_ him and i-if you can't accept that I'll move on out of here and you will _never_ meet your only grandchild." She threatened, watching Drew turn away.

"You ain't even married." Drew said a bit calmer.

"I wasn't tryin' to get pregnant... Look I know it wasn't a good decision but dammit I can't do anything about it. A-And I know that I-I'm not a good person for d-doing this to his family..." She sniffed turning away.

"Family?" Drew asked.

"Yes... He has a fucking wife... I'm so conflicted... I love John so much but sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel sick... Cause I feel like I'm a homewrecker and I know that I am." She whimpered.

"Does his wife know?"

"I don't know... I already told John I wouldn't force him to choose anything... And now the government is threatening me to hurt John... I'm sorry daddy... I'm a failure I failed us." She cried and covered her face so that she could sob. "Th-They want thirty percent of our earnings... And if I refuse or tell John they're gonna burn the place down and abduct me." She wept. "Just say it I'm a failure!" She yowled, but Drew was quiet.

"... You ain't-a failure... I raised you better than this and I don't know, and will never know, when you see in him, but you ain't-a failure... We'll make this work... I want to see my grandchildren grow up... Even if their daddy ain't around." He sighed and Bonnie did her best to get herself together.

"Promise you won't do nothin' to John next time he comes around..." She sniffled.

"... I suppose for now." He muttered.

"Thank you..."

"Go get some rest..." Drew sighed and Bonnie hugged Drew tightly before disappearing upstairs, her life was blown apart in the span of twenty minutes... She just had to get a new budget for the ranch.

* * *

John rubbed his eyes as he woke up from a nap, he didn't remember falling asleep but looking outside, it had to be getting late, it was dark. He groaned softly and began walking towards MacDougal's apartment, upon walking inside, MacDougal jumped but sighed in relief at seeing it was just John.

"Professor." John acknowledged.

"Oh, it's you, dear boy. Come in. Come in. And shut the door." MacDougal quavered, watching John do so as he continued packing his bags.

"What's going on? You leaving?" John asked curiously.

"Yes, sir. Yes, I am, sir. You know, you know the thing, the thing that is vital without which scholarship cannot proceed, sir?" MacDougal questioned back frantically.

"No, I don't." John replied simply.

"Not having a bullet in your flipping neck, sir. I'm not cut out for this. No, not cut out for this at all." MacDougal whimpered, John couldn't help but chuckled.

"Nope." He snorted.

"They're fucking savages! Savages!" MacDougal exclaimed frightfully.

"I think we all are." John said shrugging his shoulders.

"Not me, sir. I'm from Connecticut. I'm a professor at Yale! I write books! I do not deserve to die out here! Where's my tincture? Oh yes." MacDougal panted as he sat down and injected himself with more cocaine, his breathing slowing.

"You okay, Professor?" John asked.

"Dandy, sir. Just dandy." MacDougal replied, but the two men jumped as a bullet whizzed through the window, John crouched quickly. "Oh, heavens above!" MacDougal yelped.

"Is that you, John?" Dutch called, John's eyes widened but he swallowed and replied.

"Hello, Dutch."

"I think that's what they call, two for the price of one out here in this wonderful place!" Dutch cackled.

"Maybe so, Dutch." John mocked slightly.

"You and your friend there the professor... We're gonna kill the both of ya."

"Why you want to do a thing like that?"

"I don't know, sport, I guess."

"Fair enough. Why don't I come out there, we fight. Let the professor go and send your boys back to their families?"

"Well that, that sounds like a beautiful plan, John. The only problem is, my boys here, they already lost their families a long time ago. We aren't thieves, John, we're fighting for something. A bit like you, only we're fighting for an idea, not just for ourselves."

John paused for a moment, he recognized this so much it almost made him feel nostalgic. He breathed and reached up, rubbing his forehead.

"That's beautiful, Dutch. You always were a fine speaker." He complimented.

"I was. Now, would you kindly send that academic out here, so we can show him what we really think about the of anthropology?" Dutch offered.

"Please, sir, what are you going to do?" MacDougal asked as John quickly pulled the curtains shut and stood.

"I'm going to hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb." John snarled taking a few steps towards the cowardly professor.

"What?" MacDougal sputtered.

"I'm just kidding. We're going to run across the rooftops, get you back to your ivory tower." John jested.

"Oh! Thank you, sir, thank you, sir." MacDougal whimpered in relief.

"Don't thank me, we're still here. Come on." John muttered and patted MacDougal's back.

The two then broke into an ajoining room where a man and a woman were... Seeming to be enjoying their foreplay.

"Good day, sir... Madam." MacDougal greeted nervously.

"Look here, sir, what's the meaning of this...this outrage?" The portly man growled as John closed the curtains to this room as well.

"You two stay down and shut up." John ordered seriously.

"Come on, we can get to the roof this way." MacDougal said and directed John.

As the two reach the roof, gun shots began ringing out from all angles, John was really getting tired of how often this seemed to happen to him.

"What'll we do now? They got us pinned down from both sides!" MacDougal doesn't waste time, he takes out his long-barreled rolling black rifle and begins to pick them off one by one, when gunshots ceased John poked his head up a bit more.

"I think that's most of 'em. The coast looks clear." He said softly.

"Come on, then, let's make a break for it!" MacDougal said.

John and MacDougal booked it across the street to their horses, John mounted Harlow and began directing MacDougal towards Manzanita post where the next train would be leaving, heading east,

"This really couldn't have gone more horribly wrong." MacDougal whined.

"At least you got some good material for your next book." John joked trying to make light of the scary situation.

"You know, I dreamt of documenting the last days of the Old West. The romance, the honor, the nobility! But it turns out its just people killing each other!" MacDougal griped.

"It always was, Professor. And the old West ain't quite dead yet." John replied.

"Oh I know, Mr. Marston. Believe me, I know."

The duo manages to make it to the station mostly unscathed. John was just glad that no one else got killed on his watch this time around.

"My research is complete; much as I thought, there's no civilizing this savage land." MacDougal groaned.

"I could have told you that for nothing." John chuckled.

"Ah, but they'll give me a prize in New Haven for this. Well, they bloody better. Well... Goodbye, Mr. Marston. Best of luck, dear friend." MacDougal stated almost sadly as he awkwardly hugged John... John was never a fan of these but he didn't deny them.

"So long, Professor." John said in farewell.

John sighed, knowing that probably in a week, MacDougal's address would no longer work for him, little did he know that it didn't matter anymore but it had been a while since he had last checked the mail. He mounted Harlow and watched the train leave the station before riding back to Blackwater, walking into the hotel he trudged into the mailbox and sighing in relief at seeing a letter from Bonnie.

 _Dear John,_

 _I'm sorry, if I were there I would try to help you through this... But I know that this is something that just can't be fixed with some comforting words but believe me when I say I love you and you can do this._

 _Our baby, on the other hand, is being a real handful in the most obnoxious ways. I'm developing an aversion to cabbage and turnips... I love them but just the smell of them makes me want to vomit and I have a craving to eat chicken feed... I haven't of course but I'm also having a craving to chew on hay, the smell is intoxicating... I also cry over every little thing, I saw a foal sneeze and fall over and I thought it was so cute I burst into tears._

 _Overall though... I'm happy... A little piece of you inside me and they're making my life hell just like you did in the best possible way._

 _Love,_

 _Bonnie MacFarlane_

John chuckled softly as he read the letter, it warmed his heart when she spoke of the baby... He hoped to be around for at least _some_ of the pregnancy and he would kill to be there when Bonnie gave birth. He just had to catch Dutch so that the lawmen would leave him alone.


	14. Chapter 14

Dutch had a way to disappear at the most inconvenient time... For almost four months, Dutch had completely disappeared. Edgar and Archer were really getting up John's ass and John was going crazy. Bonnie's letters were the only thing keeping him afloat, MacDougal never closed his account and after two weeks John received a letter from MacDougal saying he could just use the room and he would pay for it while John needed it. For being a such a weasel, MacDougal came through for John in the end, unlike Irish. However, John was getting tired of sitting around doing nothing, running on wild goose chases for the lawmen and being unable to free his family or see Bonnie... She was experiencing this pregnancy without him, storming into the office he noted the men readying weapons.

"What do you want, Marston?" Edgar asked nonchalantly.

"My family. I've done what you asked!" John roared.

"No, you haven't. This is the land of opportunity and I gave you the opportunity to save your family and you failed. How could I possibly reward you?" Edgar questioned.

"Marston, you're a public menace. We should've had you killed." Archer scoffed.

"I wish you had, but since you didn't, where's my family?" John snapped.

"Oh spare me the noble savage fall on my sword tripe, already. It's nauseating. You don't wish to be dead. You're an insignificant creature, desperately clinging onto life like the rest of the scum in this town. Yeah, I know it's tough. You like Dutch. He's a charming fellow. He makes sense. He's like one of those nature writers from back East. Only he gets things a tiny little step too far. Rather than just loving the flowers and the animals and the harmony between man and beast, he shoots people in the head for money. And disagreeing with him." Edgar portrayed.

"He's a goddamn killer." Archer concluded.

"Now, I'm not a great intellect, but the metaphysical leap from admiring the flower to shooting a man in the head because he doesn't like the flower is a leap too far. So... I know it's easy. You see we—me and Archer—we're the bad guys. We enforce the rules. Now, while the rules may not be perfect, they're really not so bad." Edgar explained.

"Exactly, what's the alternative?" Archer asked with a small shrug.

"Yeah, see I'll tell you what the alternative is. It's not complicated. It's about one man and his gun versus another man. Sure, civilization may be dull, but the alternative, Mister Marston, is hell." Edgar informed.

"And, the way you enforce this civilization, this freedom for men to like or not like flowers or whatever in God's name you were just talking about, is to kidnap a man's wife and son?" John asked, furrowing his brows.

"Well, I know there's contradictions. I'm not going to lie to you. As I said, I'm not a great intellect. Now, after the debacle with the army and the bank, we have to put Mr. Van der Linde to rest ourselves... Unless you want us to take your little tramp in Hennigan's Stead into custody too." Edgar mused, John's eyes widening as a smirk spread across the shorter man's face.

"... The hell are you talking about?" John asked.

"Oh surely Mister Marston, you don't think that my colleague and I are _that_ stupid..." Edgar chuckled and reached into his pocket, pulling out one of the pictures that Archer had ahold of and eyeing it. "She's... What, four months pregnant now?" He asked and John felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach as Edgar handed him the polaroid.

"You leave her out of this... She's innocent." John warned glancing up from the picture.

"Innocent? Fucking around with an enemy of the state is a little less than _innocent._ " Archer said, watching John glare at him.

"Don't talk about her that way." John growled.

"Oh? What are you going to do about it? Would you rather us tell your wife about your _adventures_?" Edgar asked and John stiffened and bit his tongue.

"I thought so... Shall we, Mr. Marston?" Archer asked.

"Let's go." Edgar then said and pointed to the door and John hesitated but walked out of the room in a brooding silence.

The team walked out to a heavily armed vehicle. John hopped up onto the back where the Gatlin gun was mounted taking ahold of the powerful weapon, he stared at Archer and Edgar as they got into the driver and passenger side, if this was simple he could just pump them full of lead but seeing the military following on horses he knew that was an unrealistic fantasy.

"Now keep your finger off the trigger until we get out of Blackwater." Edgar instructed.

"This killin' machine of yours seems to be turnin' a few heads." John replied as they began driving out of the town, watching people look upon with awe.

"Our armed forces have no equal. We have made incredible progress the past few years." Archer stated almost proudly.

"Is that what you call it?" John taunted.

"And this isn't much more than a simple prototype. You should see what they're working on in Virginia. Soon there will be no war we can't win." Archer huffed.

"The army has made camp a little way outside town. They put word out a large cache of ammunition and food is stored there." Edgar informed.

"Van der Linde's gang need constant supplies, so that should be enough to draw them in." Archer noted.

"No mistakes this time. You hear me, Marston?" Edgar asked.

"I thought you were talkin' to Fordham." John jeered quietly as they rolled into camp.

"Here they come! Look, they brought the machine gun!" A soldier called as the car came to a stop in the middle of the encampment.

"What's the word, Captain?" Edgar asked.

"We spotted one of Dutch's men about an hour ago. I think he took the bait." The Commander replied.

"Let's get in position then. Have your men ready to run him down if you have to. Are you ready to finish this, Mister Marston?" Edgar inquired.

"I guess so." John sighed.

"Keep your eyes peeled... Targets on the horizon! Fire at will!" The officer yelled as horses began to arrive over the hills.

John took a breath and shut his eyes for a moment before beginning to roll the crank that began releasing pellets into the natives that began hoarding towards them. The sounds of painful screaming along with horses whinnying as they died wasn't John's favorite sound.

"Look, they're running! Move out, don't let them get away! Christ! This thing's a lot bumpier off the road." Edgar snarled as Archer began driving after the retreating rebels. "It's going to be a mess if we have to follow them into the woods! Can't you hold this thing steady, Fordham?" He sneered.

"I'm trying my best, sir!" Archer said back as he held the wheel tightly.

"Get those men behind the rocks!" Edgar demanded as John continued to pump the opposers full of lead as they came into his view.

"That wagon's out of control. It's coming straight at our cavalry!" Archer gasped, John glanced up as a flaming wagon began racing towards them.

John did his best to demolish the wagon before it collided with him with the Gatlin gun but unknowing to the crew, but without warning another explosion beneath the car made the automobile flip over. John hit the ground hard, his eyes fluttering as he saw men getting shot and running in various directions... His head was pounding and his ears were ringing... John began falling in and out of consciousness... His world fading to black.

* * *

Bonnie sighed as she began walking to the corrals, the cattle needed to be spread and since the government began taking a third of their earnings, Bonnie had to lay off multiple of her farmhands to keep her business alive and since she didn't have as many farmhands, she couldn't take it easy like she was ordered to. She approached her horse and sighed, leaning against the mare for a moment as she reached down and rubbed her rising baby belly. It was becoming obvious that she was pregnant, her stomach began growing as well as her breasts.

She climbed onto her horse and reached up rubbing her forehead, she felt like she was burning up and her heart was pounding... But her work had to get done. She rode to the gate, blinking as her vision began blurring. Shaking her head, her vision returned.

"Miss MacFarlane are you alright?" One of her partners asked.

"... Y-Yeah I'm alright." She replied quietly. "Let's just get this done." She murmured and the other nodded as he opened the gate.

"Let's go!" He called and the group began moving the cattle.

Bonnie rode mostly even, keeping the herd in line and driving them towards the pastures. When her vision began blurring again though she felt her heart pounding and her head began floating. Before she knew it, she fell off her horse, hitting the ground hard.

"Miss MacFarlane..!"

 _"Miss_ _MacFarlane can you hear me..?"_

 _"Miss MacFarla-"_

Blackness.

* * *

When John finally woke up he groaned and rubbed his head, blood coating his glove. He had to have a large gash on his forehead but the rest of his body seemed to be intact despite being completely sore. He eventually stood, wobbling but standing straight enough as a black and blue Archer and Edgar approached him.

"Well, Mister Marston, it seems like your mentor, Dutch, no longer looks quite so kindly to his student." Edgar coughed.

"That man is insane." Archer grunted.

"So it seems." John agreed for once.

"I think we need to get him before sundown." The Captain said seriously.

"As you say, Captain. Otherwise, he'll be gone again." Edgar sighed and looked to John.

"And what if I say no?" John grumbled despite knowing the answer.

"Well, before I shoot you myself, let me just point out the obvious. The one person we have left who can appeal to Mr. Van der Linde is the last person we know who knows him. Your wife... And _then_ I'll seize every bit of your property _and_ Miss MacFarlane's." He listed.

"That won't be necessary. Mr. Ross, Captain, let's go." John said and held his hands up before he whistled into the plains, watching Harlow approach over the distance eventually slowing to a stop in front of John.

John, Edgar, and Archer all mounted a horse before the small brigade of soldiers began riding towards Cochinay. John felt nauseous with nerves, he was getting closer and closer to ending this once and for all.

"I can't believe Van der Linde has built himself a fortress in the mountains." Edgar scoffed.

"He's crazy, but he certainly ain't stupid." John assured.

"And you've already seen that place, right? MacDougal told me you went up there with that Indian chap." Edgar commented.

"I've seen it alright. We'll be lucky to last five minutes with this many men." John sighed, remembering at how many men they've _already_ taken down.

"Governor Johns is going to be very pleased." Edgar mused.

"Nate Johns? What's he got to do with any of this?" John asked curiously.

"Let's just say he has a vested interest in cleaning the filth out of this region. I don't think our old friend Dutch realizes what a great favor he has done us." Edgar explained.

"So you're the one who's going to kill him?" The Captain asked John.

"Dutch? Yep, that's what they keep tellin' me. But, if you feel like doin' it, please be my guest." John offered, rolling his eyes.

"This is suicide, if you ask me. My scouts have seen that fort of his. I wanted to wait for more men, but them city boys back there weren't havin' none of it." The Captain scorned slightly.

"And you answer to them?" John asked, arching a brow.

"Unfortunately, it seems that now we do. They said you was in a gang with this Dutch van der Linde." The Captain disclosed.

"I was once. A long time ago." John affirmed.

"Don't seem like the kinda fella you'd want to run with. Unless I completely misjudged your character, of course." The Commander remarked.

"When he turned crazy, I left. At least I tried to leave, 'til those suits back there came a-knockin'. Threatened to kill my wife and son if I didn't go after him." He muttered, giving the lawmen a side-eye.

"Strange times we live in, partner, strange times. It's a funny business. Army, government men... Criminals. With all due respect." The other mused, nodding to John respectively.

"You're tellin' me." John scoffed.

"Too many hands on the tiller, if you ask me. This is how mistakes happen. My boys don't know who's givin' orders no more." The captain retorted.

"Take it from me, mister. When we get up there, it ain't gonna matter. It'll be every man for himself." John quipped tensely.

"See, this is what happens when you fraternize with savages. How could you ever follow a man like that?" Archer inquired.

"How could you ever follow a man like Ross?" John sassed.

"Van der Linde is a psychopath. A murderer and a rapist." Archer growled.

"Ross don't seem too different. Dutch was a good man once, a far better man than you." John belittled.

"So, what made him this way?" Archer questioned.

"I don't know. Bastards like you. Seein' that things never change." John replied gruffly.

"I hope you're ready to finish this mess." Archer divulged.

"Anything to get you sons-of-bitches off my back." John swore.

"There's always somebody watching, Mr. Marston. I thought you'd have gleaned that much by now." Archer chuckled, watching John rest an icy stare at him.

"You think you're so clever, don't you?" John sneered.

"No, it's you who thought you were clever. You thought you could just walk away from your old life. Make no mistake, we have been watching... Especially Miss MacFarlane." Archer provoked,

"Don't speak to me." John spat dangerously.

"You're really an ungrateful slug, Marston. Instead of punishing you for your crimes, we are giving you a chance to kill the men who betrayed you." Edgar tried to reason, condescendingly enough.

"You didn't have to punish my wife and Miss MacFarlane, too. When will this be over?" John asked.

"It's you who's been dragging it out, not us. We sent you to Fort Mercer with the simple task of killing Bill Williamson. Next thing you know, you're running all over Mexico like a headless chicken." Archer argued.

"And now it's Dutch." John sighed.

"He's the last one of your merry band, is he not? Then you can go back to your farm, or what's left of it. If need be, you can always send your wife out to work. I hear she works hard." Archer chuckled.

"Go to hell." John hissed.

"This old gang of yours just won't die easily, will it? I wonder how many deaths you are all responsible for? How much money you took from pockets of hard-working citizens?" Edgar goaded.

"We did more for the people with the money we took than the damn government ever did." John replied.

"Good God, this flawed philosophy of yours again. If you wish to argue the finer points of ethics, I suggest you learn to read first." Edgar groaned.

"And I suggest you learn how to shoot people in the front, not the back." John informed.

Finally the horrible long ride came to an end as the group came up to the large wooden gate of Cochinay. John dismounted Harlow and quickly slapped the horses rear, watching him speed off so that he wouldn't get killed when shit hit the fan.

"You, blow that gate open! Move, soldier!" The Commander yelled.

John hid behind a rock and when the gate was shattered he and the soldiers began pouring into the camp. John made sure all of his guns were loaded and he took down anyone who stood in his way. He made sure to keep a special eye out for Dutch, beginning to break a sweat at the realization that he wasn't around. He wouldn't panic yet though. As they reached the inner sanctum of the fort, Dutch _had_ to be here.

"You tend to the wounded. I got to face Dutch alone." He instructed to the captain as he began running forward.

He nearly had his head blown off as Dutch mounted a Gatlin gun at the valley's end.

"Looks like it's me and you, John. You should have stayed at home. Working for the government, John. After all I taught you. I'm ashamed!" Dutch yelled.

"I don't have a choice!" John defended.

"There's always a choice! You're just too blind to see." Dutch exclaimed, continuing to shoo at John as the other took cover.

"They got my family!" John replied urgently.

"Your family? Abigail was any man's wife, John. And Jack, he's another whore's son, just like you. You're weak. You always were. You never had the stomach for this!" Dutch insulted.

"For what? You got no idea what you're killin' for?" John asked.

"You never could see what I see, John. You were too scared. You'll never get me to surrender! You better kill me, John!" Dutch laughed.

"If that's how it's gotta be." John replied despite how painful it would be to do so.

"Well come on and get it then. Come closer! I got a surprise for you!" Dutch cackled.

"There's no more surprises. It ends here! So this is it? Your savage utopia, up here in the mountains?" John inquired.

"You wouldn't understand."

"It's all in your head, Dutch. That's what drove you insane. What have you done? Apart from murder people. What have you changed, Dutch?"

"More than you'll ever know."

"Give it up! You're trapped up here. Army's got this place surrounded!"

"Ha! You always were a bad liar, John!"

John winced, Dutch knew him better then he did... Just like Abagail... Just like Bonnie. But he leaned over for just a moment to see that there were lanterns suspended beside Dutch... He only had a few seconds to react. He pulled the trigger and a bullet from his side whizzed through the air, exploding the lantern by the Gatlin gun, forcing Dutch to back away.

"Son-of-a-bitch! Goddamnit! You'll never take me alive, John!" Dutch snarled and began retreating into the mine shaft up the mountain.

John didn't hesitate to sprint after Dutch. He was slightly shocked at how far Dutch was ahead of him, Dutch wasn't a young man after all. John jumped behind cover as Dutch climbed up a ladder and began shooting at him.

"It's over, John!" Dutched called.

"I ain't leaving here without you!" John assured.

"You're just like me, John. You can't change who you are." Dutch challenged.

"I ain't like you." John countered.

"You can't erase the past, John. Killin' me, it won't make it go away." Dutch affirmed.

"That's where you're wrong." John sighed and continued to run after Dutch as he retreated yet again.

Dutch ended up on a dead-end ledge on the summit of the mountain. He looked around desperately but as John approached, the hunter slowed to a stop, his revolved pointing at the man who made him into what he was today... Painful was an understatement.

"Hello again, John..." Dutch panted calmly.

"Hello, Dutch." John greeted breathlessly as well.

"We gotta stop meeting like this!" Dutch chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

"Sure..." John agreed.

"I've got a plan, John..." Dutch advised.

"You've always got a plan, Dutch." John muttered.

"This is a good one." Dutch promised and suddenly threw his gun over the ledge, John raised a brow and placed his gun back into it's holster.

"I don't doubt it." John confirmed.

"We can't always fight nature, John. We can't fight change. We can't fight gravity. We can't fight nothing. My whole life, all I ever did was fight." Dutch breathed, glancing to the dark sky, John hadn't realized how long this hunt had gone on for.

"Then give up, Dutch..." John ushered.

"But I can't give up, neither. I can't fight my own nature. That's the paradox, John. You see?" Dutch asked, grinning.

"Then I have to shoot you." John disclosed.

"When I'm gone, they'll just find another monster. They have to, because they have to justify their wages." Dutch warned.

"That's their business." John replied.

"Our time is passed, John." Dutch said simply... Tiredly.

Without warning, Dutch slowly fell backward, plummeting down the cliff side. John inhaled softly and walked to the edge, looking over and seeing Dutch's body in the snow below. He exhaled slowly and began walking back down the mountain, checking the body he saw Archer and Edgar standing beside it, looking smug as always.

"So, at the end, you didn't have the guts to shoot him?" Edgar asked.

"The man's dead, Ross." John mumbled.

"Sure. Can I see your gun?" Edgar asked, and John furrowed his brows but hesitantly gave the suit his pistol, almost jumped as Edgar pulled the trigger, John looked away as the corpse was shot.

"Oh trust me, it looks better in the report that way." Edgar stated and nodded.

"Where's my family?" John interrogated.

"Your wife was killed in a prison riot last week." Edgar muttered, John's rage boiling over as he slowly pointed the gun over Edgar's heart. "I'm only joking, dear boy. They were sent back to that scrabble ranch of yours in Beecher's Hope. They're quite safe and sound." Edgar chortled and held his hand up in surrender.

"They better be." John growled.

"Thank you, Mr. Marston, for everything. I know this wasn't easy for you, but I have to say, you've done your country proud." Archer praised to John's surprise.

"Yeah, exactly. See you around. Try to stay out of trouble. Come on, Archer, let's go find somebody else we can annoy." Edgar sighed and patted the others back.

Just like that, John was left alone... He looked up, realizing how poetic the night sky was... The hunt was over, he was free. His eyes fluttered shut, his head was searing with pain, the left side of his body was radiating from landing on it in the car accident. The snow fell quietly... He released a breath of tension as he shook his head, fog billowing from his lips before he lit up a cigarette and inhaling the smoke. He couldn't believe it.

Now he had to decide... He could go see Bonnie... Or he could go see his family.

John really had to think about it, he had been dying to see Bonnie ever since he left but he hadn't seen his family in almost half a year, they deserved to see him first. If he knew what had happened to Bonnie there would be no hesitation but he didn't... He whistled into the silent woods, watching Harlow gallop towards him he climbed upon the horse he smiled before kicking Harlow's side's roughly.

He was going home... _Home..._


	15. Chapter 15

John rode as fast as he could. He was exhausted but he couldn't think of doing anything more than seeing Abagail and Jack. Nothing was in his mind except them as he rode out of tall trees, seeing his ranch in the distance he felt himself being overcome with emotion, he didn't cry but this was one of the times he was close to it. Riding through the front gates and nearing his house he felt the realization that he was indeed home, seeing lights on inside.

"Abigail! Jack! Anyone here? Anyone home?" He called desperately, watching Abagail throw the front door open, John chuckled, just so happy to see her. "Oh darling, I never thought I'd see this day again." He said, throwing his arms out for a moment until Abigail suddenly began punching him, for a moment he thought the lawmen had told her about his affair...

"You no-good, hillbilly, piece of shit! I thought you was dead. I thought you was dead, John. Huh! Where you been? Where you been?" Abigail cried.

"You know where I've been, darling. You know!" John said catching her fists, trying to calm her.

"You saw Dutch, didn't you?" Abigail panted, having exhausted herself after she finished hitting him he released her arms.

"Yeah I saw him." John confirmed.

"And Bill?"

"Yeah, I saw him, too."

Abigail looked down for a moment in some thought before looking up to John again, John met her gaze... She was so beautiful, for a moment, just a moment, he had forgotten all about Bonnie.

"And you didn't go back to 'em?" She questioned.

"I left that life, just as you left yours. How did they treat you?" John asked back.

"I can take care of myself, John. One guard got funny on me one time, but I wasn't so ladylike and he didn't try it again, nor no one else." Abigail mused proudly with a smirk, John looked up to the house.

"How's the boy?" John murmured nervously.

"Like you, and like me. Well, he's like a kid growing up without a father." She replied, watching John roll his eyes.

"That ain't fair." John stated.

"What is fair?"

"Well, some trees flourish, others die. Some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. Some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. Ain't nothing fair. You know that." John explained.

"We tried to change. I mean, ain't that what you're supposed to do?" Abigail asked quietly.

"We did change and it's over now." John breathed and took his bloodied gloves off, tossing them to the side as he reached in and ran a hand through Abigail's ebony hair.

Abigail finally smiled, leaning into his touch before suddenly throwing her arms around his neck. John returned the embraced by wrapping his arms around her waist, scooping her up into the air and listening to her giggle. God, he missed her... But before he could do or say anything mushy, he looked up just as his son began walking over. Jesus, he felt himself getting misty eyed but he kept it all in. He released Abigail and motioned to Jack.

"Jack! Jack, come here, boy." He ushers and Jack grinned.

"Hello, sir." He simpers shyly.

"Come here..." John said and hugged Jack tightly as well. "How you been?" John asked.

"Coyotes ate all the chickens and, poachers took the cattle. I tried, father, I tried." Jack sighed, looking down with defeat.

"I know you did, son. I know." John affirmed, rubbing Jack's back, assuring his son that he didn't fail.

"And don't you go blaming me, boy. Don't you go blaming me." The familiar voice made John cringed slowly turning as the gray-bearded man began bumbling over towards them.

"I ain't blaming no one, old man. But since you're still alive, there's four mouths to feed, and no cattle." John sneered.

"That's a nice way to greet somebody. Why don't I gets a warm and tender embrace?" The man asked, holding his arms our sarcastically.

"Consider the fact that I ain't put a bullet in your embrace, old man. You were supposed to look after the place." John growled taking a step towards the failed caretaker.

"I did... I did my best. Thing is, there was too many of 'em... I thought you was dead... I wasn't drinking..." The man sputtered.

"Hold your excuses until you've figured out which one to use. Jack, go get your bags packed, boy. We've got work to do. We leave in the morning. Go on." He instructed and motioned towards the house.

"Yes, sir." Jack said with surprise but excitement followed his tone as he jogged inside.

John knew only one person who had cattle that he could rely on and that person was carrying his third child... He would hate to see her and not be able to embrace her either with Jack being around but he had to get his ranch going before he could run away to be with Bonnie again. He would be delighted to see her again though.

"Where are you going?" Abigail asked as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and began walking inside.

"Well, it's getting kind of dark now, but in the morning we've got to go get ourselves some more cattle. I've got friends in MacFarlane's Ranch, it's over in Hennigan's Stead, who can sell us some. Now, Abigail, I hope you've learned to cook." John teased, trying not to smile too much when he mentioned the MacFarlane's.

"Yes, didn't I say, rather than some prison, they actually kept me incarcerated in a cooking school for young ladies." She snorted in reply.

John chuckled as he shut the front door behind him, the house felt foreign, he felt... Like a stranger in his own home. The house was just as he had left it but... It wasn't the same. He was so used to Bonnie's house, he felt at home _there_. John ate without a fuss, Abigail still wasn't the best cook, not like Bonnie but she had indeed gotten better, but it wasn't until they had retreated into their bedroom did he realize how much he truly missed her...

Abigail walked over to her side of the bed and sat down away from John, he tilted his head and approached her, sitting down next to her.

"You alright?" He asked.

"It's just... I thought you were dead John... Now I just... It's a lot." She replied and sighed. "I'm just... Bracing myself when you leave again... I know that's not a fair thing to say." She said and John wrapped an arm around her, bringing her close.

"Hey... I ain't going nowhere..." He muttered, though hearing his words he regretted them instantly due to what he thought about Bonnie.

"I know... I love you, John." She said and looked up to him.

"... I love you too." He replied and leaned down, planting his lips against hers.

Abigail breathed out and reached up, running her hand over the scars on his face. John didn't hesitate to reach down, beginning to cup her breasts before standing and pushing her onto her back, pulling her legs apart so he could get between them. Abigail moaned softly and continued kissing John feverishly. She needed him... Just as much as he needed her...

In the morning when John opened his eyes, the guilt finally hit him... The realization that the entire time he was having sex with Abigail, he was thinking about Bonnie. He looked over at Abigail as she slept, she didn't deserve this... To be married to someone who loved another. For now though, before anything drastic could be said or done, he had to make sure his family would be alright.

He got up, managing to not disturb Abigail, dressing in some of his other clothing thank goodness. He had forgotten what it was like to look like a normal person, but looking over, he caressed Abigail's face, earning a few swats from her before placing his hat over his head and walking out. He smiled as Jack waited for him in the living room.

"Mornin' pa." Jack greeted.

"Mornin' Jack, let's go." John mused and patted Jack's back as they walked out to the dark yard.

Harlow rested quietly next to a paint mare that Jack would ride. John mounted the buttermilk stallion and waited for Jack patiently, the dark plains were so relaxing... He was still reeling from the fact that he was free.

"Are you ready? Let's haul out. How you feelin', Jack?" John asked.

"I'm feeling fine, sir." Jack replied.

"We got a decent ride ahead of us." John informed.

"I've never been to Hennigan's Stead. How do you know these ranchers?" Jack asked curiously.

John smiled at the question, he truly smiled. He remembered everything... Bonnie's golden hair, her pearly skin, her cobalt eyes...

"I met them while I was away. The MacFarlanes are good people. We need folks we can trust right now." He said simply but fondly.

"Met them how?" Jack prodded.

"I was sick, and they looked after me." John said, as the two followed the path towards Bonnie's ranch.

"Sick how?" Jack questioned, John bit his lip, he didn't' exactly want to explain how he was shot to his son.

"You sure got a lot of questions." John chuckled.

"I don't often get a chance to ask them. Was it a gentleman's complaint? What do they call it, the morning drip?" Jack asked, John's eyes widened as he gawked over at Jack.

"Good god, boy. No! Where do you learn these things?" He asked seriously.

"Uncle told me about it." Jack responded.

"Well, he'd know, the dirty old fool. No, I just got weak for a while. Acted foolishly. Got into trouble. Guess I was a little out of practice." John explained, now wasn't the time to describe the special nature of the relationship with the mother of his newest child.

"Hey Pa?" Jack asked.

"What?" John acknowledged.

"Where were you all that time? Where did you go?" Jack asked curiously.

"What'd your mother tell you?" John inquired.

"She said it was some kind of important government business." Jack disclosed.

"That's about right. Some people thought I owed them some favors." John said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Why did they take us away?" Jack questioned, still troubled.

"They thought it wasn't safe for you here by yourselves. Those men harm you?" John asked, ready to hunt then like dogs if they laid hands on his son.

"Ah no, they were okay. Some of them even told me stories. I think I'd like to be a government man someday, or-or a politician." Jack divulged with a grin.

"I'd rather you chose an honest profession." John mused.

"Like you, you mean?" Jack scoffed slightly.

"I know I ain't been the best father, Jack. I made some bad choices. But all that... That life... It's over now." John affirmed.

"Pa, was it something to do with Mr. Dutch and Bill? Why you went away?" Jack asked, frowning some.

"Who told you that?" John asked.

"I kept hearing people say their names, that's all." Jack muttered.

"... Yeah, I caught up with Bill and Dutch. We had some old business needed settling." John said, looking ahead of them, turning a fork through Thieves Landing as they crossed over into New Austin.

"Where are they now?"

"They're gone, son. We won't be seein' them again." John sighed.

"They were angry at you, weren't they? That's why we had to leave." Jack asked, frowning.

"They was just good men who turned bad. I'll explain it to you one day." John stated, hoping Jack would let this tense conversation go.

"And what does that make you?" Jack questioned, looking at John with some intensity.

"I guess I'm a-a bad man who tried to be a good father, I don't know. Every man has the right to change, a chance at forgiveness. Ain't that what the good book says?" John asked.

"You've never read me the good book, sir." Jack grumbled.

"Well, I imagine that's what it says. So, you ready to learn about herdin' cattle?" John asked, swiftly changing the subject.

"I've never seen you herd anything, Pa. Apart from the odd pack of drunks." Jack snorted.

"The MacFarlanes were good to me, and I helped them out in return. I learned a few things along the way. Wait till you see their ranch; it's what ours'll be someday." John said proudly enough, trying to mask the excitement.

"I read in the newspaper that ranching's dead. Soon it will all be factories and businesses around here." Jack muttered a tad nervously.

"You shouldn't believe everythin' you read." John chortled.

"I was thinking maybe I might be a businessman." Jack said shrugging.

"I thought you wanted to be a writer." John said arching a brow.

"Well I could be both. A rich industrialist who writes novels about the Old West on the side." Jack chuckled.

"You can be whatever you want, son, but for now let's concentrate on gettin' some food on the table. Unless you're plannin' on strikin' literary gold in the next day or two, that is. We shouldn't talk now, Jack. We don't want to waste all our breath before we even get there. There's the ranch. C'mon, let's see if we can find Miss MacFarlane." John said in a hurried fashion, quickly trotting towards the farmhouse.

Something was off about the ranch... It was quieter, and John didn't see Bonnie anywhere. He took a breath and stopped Harlow.

"Hey son, mind sitting with the horses?" He asked.

"Not at all, sir." Jack replied as John dismounted Harlow and walked up to the farmhouse, knocking at the door.

He had never been so nervous about anything in his life... He couldn't wait tos ee Bonnie despite having to keep things on the downlow in front of Jack, but when Drew answer the door, the older man's eyes widened.

"You..." He said eerily quiet, John had no clue that Drew knew about his relationship with Bonnie.

"Hello, Mister MacFarlane... Is uh... Bonnie around? I brought my son to buy some cattle from ya." He explained and Drew peered out to Jack who hesitantly waved.

"... Step inside, Mister Marston." Drew said softly and John tilted his head and looked to Jack before walking inside.

However, when John walked into the house he was met with a fist right into his cheek, John fell back into the wall, stunned was an understatement.

"That's for impregnating my daughter." Drew growled and John sighed, yeah... He deserved that.

"L-Look Mister MacFarlane nothing I say will take back what I did... Honest to god I wasn't trying to mess up her life... How is she?" He asked.

"Bedridden." Drew replied shortly and John tilted his head looking to the stairs.

"Why's that..? Her last letter told me she was fine." He muttered and Drew sighed.

"I-I don't know Marston... We've hit real hard times since you left... Governments been taking a third of our earnings on _your_ behalf-"

"Whoa whoa, slow down what? On my behalf?" John interjected, he was in total shock, Drew looked around slightly paranoid before he ushered John to the couch.

"... One of your government boys visitied my daughter... Said that because of your... Relationship we had to pay them a third of our earnings or else they'd take Bonnie into custody and burn the place down." Drew breathed and rubbed his face tiredly. "... Had to lay off multiple farmhands and lower our prizes in the shop so people would buy more... We're barely survivin' Marston... Bonnie was working because she didn't have a choice and she just... Suddenly collapsed, Doctor has not idea what's been goin' on, he put her on strict bed rest and orderin' that she stays hydrated... She's been real tired but she's still doin' the finances up in her room when she's awake... She's a hard workin' woman." Drew said and John rubbed his face where he was hit. "... She loves you." He then said.

"... Can I see her?" John asked.

"... You sure that's wise with your boy out there?" Drew asked.

"Mister MacFarlane forgive me for being straightforward... But I love your daughter just as much, if not more then she loves me... She the only thing that kept me fightin' while I was gone... I know that I'm not your favorite person in the world and I don't blame ya... But... Please, can I see her?" He begged, Drew thought for a moment and sighed before he nodded.

"I'll go show your boy the cattle... Don't make me regret this Marston." Drew warned and stood up, John followed Drew outside.

"Jack, this is Mister MacFarlane, Mister MacFarlane, my son Jack." John introduced.

"Nice to meet ya, sir." Jack greeted politely, dismounting his horse and extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you too boy." Drew said with a pleasant smile despite the circumstances.

"Jack, Mister MacFarlane is going to show ya the cattle that we're gonna buy... Pick whichever ones ya want, pick about fifteen. I'm gonna pay Miss MacFarlane inside, she's sick right now so I'm going to go see her." John explained and Jack nodded. "I won't be long, behave boy." John joked and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yes, sir." Jack said and walked with Drew towards the corral.

John walked back inside and hurried up the stairs, however as he stopped outside of her room he hesitated. Was he ready to face Bonnie after all the grief he's caused her..? He took a breath and slowly turned the knob, walking inside.

There she was... Asleep with a notebook resting on her bed, John walked over to her quietly and sighed, kneeling next to her bed. She looked exhausted... He took her limp hand in his and pressed it against his forehead... He was devastated that he didn't know about this sooner, noticing her baby bump he reached over and felt it gently. However, when he felt her shifting he picked his head up just as her eyes began fluttering.

"Bonnie..?" He asked, Bonnie looked around and met John's gaze, gasping.

"J-... John?" She asked.

"It's me." He replied, watching her sit up.

"Oh my god John!" She exclaimed and embraced him without a second thought.

John hugged her tightly, quickly getting up and sitting on her bed and bringing her as close as he could. He was so happy to see her smile he could burst.

"Bonnie I'm so sorry..." He whispered.

"What?" She asked.

"Y-You're dad told me... About the ranch... I had no idea I'm so sorry." He said and shook his head.

"John it's not your fault." Bonnie said and reached up, caressing his cheek.

"It is... I shouldn't have... If I wouldn't have..." He sputtered, he wanted to say if he hadn't been with her, none of this would have happened, but he couldn't... He didn't regret any of this and he would have done it again if given the chance.

"John I'm making it work... It's not easy but... I am." She said and John shook his head.

"No Miss MacFarlane I'll take care of this... Until now, let me reimburse you while I can... I got quite a bit of money over my travels..." John said and nodded.

"John if you-"

"Don't argue with me this time, Bonnie." He sighed and Bonnie opened her mouth but smiled, nodding, however, he then reached down and caressed her stomach watching Bonnie blush.

"... He's not making life easy." Bonnie chuckled tiredly.

"He?" John asked curiously, watching Bonnie shrug.

"Mother's intuition... I love you, John." She said and leaned in, pressing her lips against his.

John had waited for this moment... He leaned in as well, reaching up and running a hand over her cheek as Bonnie already felt tears welling in her eyes. John didn't feel near as happy when he saw Abigail for the first time... He separated the kiss and sighed, meeting her gaze.

"... My son is here... If he weren't I'd stay longer but I'm here to buy cattle... My ranch went to hell while I was gone and I gotta get things back in order... But my travels are over... The only travelin' I'll be doin' from now on is coming to see you whenever I can..." He said and Bonnie sighed knowing this visit was cut short but she was relieved knowing John was no longer gunslinging.

"I'd love to meet him if you don't mind..." Bonnie said and John frowned.

"Aren't you supposed to be on bed rest?" He asked.

"John I have to get up some time ya know..." She scoffed and nodded, standing up. "Just help me." She said.

John took her hand as she leaned against him, he looked down at her... She looked up at him... The love he felt for her... There was no denying it, he leaned down one last time, pressing his lips against hers before he helped her put her robe on to make her look more decent. Walking back to the stairs, John scooped Bonnie into his arms and walked down the staircase with ease before putting her down and walking her outside.

"Hey boy!" John called so Bonnie didn't have to walk to far, he helped her sit on the porch swing, she sighed quietly but sat up straight with a grin as Jack jogged over. "This is Miss MacFarlane, without her I wouldn't be here." He said fondly, flashing Bonnie a smile.

"Oh, h-hello Miss MacFarlane... I'm Jack." He said shyly.

"I wish I would stand up but I'm a tad sick right now... You remind me a lot of your father though..." She chuckled before John looked out to the herd.

"Pick out the cattle son?" He then asked as Drew walked over as well.

"I did, sir." Jack replied.

"Good boy, go get your horse." John instructed, sending a discreet nod to Drew and subtly took Bonnie's hand for a moment. "I'm going to do whatever I can to be a good man to your daughter... You just have to give me time sir." He said and Drew looked to Bonnie and sighed.

"... I suppose so." Drew muttered.

"To start, I want to reimburse you for the financial disaster I put you both in." John said and walking towards to Harlow, reaching into his saddlebag and bringing out a wad of cash, handing it to Drew, watching the older man's eyes fly open.

"J-John this is way more then you owe us for the cattle." He said.

"I know... But take it, if it weren't for me you wouldn't be in this financial jeopardy." John stated.

"John but this is over a thousand dollars!" Drew said in disbelief.

"Just take it Mister MacFarlane, it's the least I can do for now... I'll be back when I can." He muttered and released Bonnie's hand before he walked over to Harlow and nodding before he led his horse to the back of the herd. "Jack, do you think you can lead?" He asked and Jack gulped but nodded.

"Y-Yes sir!" Jack said.

Despite wanting to stay longer, John had to get the cattle back to his property. He took one last longing look to Bonnie before he and Jack began riding the cattle out of the ranch, he couldn't believe Bonnie was ill during her pregnancy...

"Alright, Jack! Let's get them through the river. You're doing a good job, son. Just lead them straight up the hill towards home." He called.

"Will do, Pa!" Jack replied, but before John could relax he noted a group of men riding from over the hill.

"Wait! Slow down! They look like rustlers! Stay back, son. I'll hold them off." He said and raced forward, pulling out his gun and beginning to take down the men as they shot at him and Jack, thankfully they were inexperienced and slaying them wasn't hard. "I think that's all of them. Jack, wait there! I'm comin'. You alright? You're not hurt are you?" He asked riding back over to Jack.

"No, I'm fine-I'm fine. I-I wasn't scared. Honest." Jack stuttered shakily.

"Sorry, you had to see that, son. Those men won't be stealin' from anybody else. Jack, head left up the road towards home." He directed as they rounded up the cattle once more.

"I know where I'm going, Pa!" Jack replied.

The two got back home to the ranch around midday and John felt some relief in knowing that his ranch was started once again.

"Alright, now lead them into the pen. Nice work, son." John praised as he rode up to Jack.

"We made it!" Jack chirped excitedly.

"You did real good out there. Go on. Hitch your horse and wait for me by the stable." John said and hitched Harlow after dismounting his stallion. "You did a good job, son. Nice shooting." John said with a smile.

"Thanks, Pa." Jack said and grinned.

"We'll make a rancher out of you yet." He mused as Jack walked back towards the house.

John stood there for a moment and sighed, he was being tugged in two different directions... Bonnie had been much more then patient but he wasn't sure if he was ready to drop the bomb and shatter his family after just getting them back... He reached up and rubbed the welt developing on his face. He was worried... He didn't know what he would do if Bonnie didn't make it... He had to figure out how to see Bonnie more... No matter what.

He needed to be there for the rest of her pregnancy after being abandoned for months.


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks to the cattle provided by the MacFarlane's Ranch, John was able to start providing financial stability for his family while trying to think of excuses to leave the ranch every so often to see Bonnie over the next month. He also hunted often, giving him plenty of reason to leave, before he could start really making money off his cattle he needed to provide money to start with. John went about once every two weeks and always came home with some money from Manzanita Post... His hunting trips always took a few days, if he was able to grab something he would make decent money off of and he always stopped by Bonnie's for a night.

Readying to leave once again, John packed Harlow's saddlebag full of what he would need which included ammunition, a tent, things he would need to start a fire and some food which mostly included vegetables so that he didn't attract predators into his hunting grounds. Figuring out prices in different regions he wrote down some notes before he walked in the house. He would leave in the morning.

"Is that you John?" Abigail asked.

"Yes, ma'am." John replied as he walked into the kitchen as she was preparing dinner.

"Was gettin' to wonder if you went and ran off again." Abigail teased.

"About that..." John mused, however seeing Abigail's scorning glare he chuckled. "Only for a few days longer than normal... I would like to hunt a bison or two, I'll get the best price if I take it down to Mexico." He explained.

"M-Mexico? That's at least a three-day trip one way, John!" She groaned.

"I know, but if I take it up to Manzanita, I'll only get thirty dollars but if I take it to Mexico I'll get forty-five... The fifteen dollar difference is worth it ain't it darlin'?" He asked, watching her think for a moment.

"I-I... Suppose you're right... But John, would you mind taking Jack with you..? He's been talkin' about that, he's been wantin' to go with ya the last few times you've been out..." She said and John frowned slightly.

"Well... Of course, I'd like him to come but to Mexico and back? Ain't that a little extreme for his first real hunting trip?" He asked and Abigail shrugged.

"No matter how much I hate admittin' it... Jack ain't a baby anymore... It may be a lot for his first time but it'll show him you ain't goin' anywhere... I-I think he thinks that every time you leave you ain't comin' back. I know he's a young man and he can be a pain in the ass but he desperately wants your approval." She admits and John raises his brows, impressed by Abigail's knowledge of how Jack's mind worked.

"... When the hell did you get so smart?" He asked, approaching her, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning in as she chuckled, kissing her lips.

"I've always been smart John Marston, you're just noticing?" She asked and John shook his head.

"No matter what I say I'll be wrong, so I'll go with you're absolutely right." He snorted, chortling a bit more when Abigail swatted him away.

"Go sit now, dinner's almost done." She ordered and John did as he was asked.

"Speakin' of Jack, where is he?" John asked.

"Oh probably readin' in his room... He likes to be left alone you know how young men are." She said and John shrugged.

John and Abigail ate the stew with relative silence, Abigail had definitely become a better cook. John didn't exactly want Jack to come with him this time around despite feeling guilty, he would be able to spend a few extra days with Bonnie without him but... He loved his son. John stood after his meal, gently pinching Abigail's rear as he passed by her to walk to Jack's room.

Peering inwards, John noted Jack was definitely reading, he seemed like he was truly enthralled. He was happy that Jack was eager to read, he was illiterate until he was about fifteen when Dutch taught him and Abigail never learned how. John eventually walked into the doorway and knocked, watching Jack jump slightly.

"O-Oh pa! Sorry, sir did you need me?" He asked.

"Not right now son, I was just letting you know that... Well, tomorrow I'm going to be heading out on another hunting trip and I'm taking the kills to Mexico... You're welcome to come if you want but it's gonna be a long trip." He stated and Jack automatically showed excitement.

"R-Really!? I can go!?" He asked.

"Of course, you're always welcome to come with me." John said and smiled.

"Oh, thanks, pa! I won't let you down." Jack said with a huge grin as he hopped up.

"I know you won't, don't stay up all night, we're leavin' early tomorrow and if you're lazy gettin' up I'll leave without ya, and make sure you're packed." He said and Jack nodded in understanding.

John then left Jack alone to pack and walked into the living room, sitting on the sofa and sighed tiredly. He was a bit disappointed, but it's not like he couldn't see Bonnie he just had to tone it back while Jack was there. The first priority was the hunt after all and he loved spending time with his son.

* * *

John and Jack were up before the sun rose, John was readying their weapons in the barn.

"Ever hunted bison, Jack?" John asked casually as he cleaned his rifle.

"No, sir." Jack replied.

"They ain't no deer, if you don't shoot them in the right place they'll get away and then you gotta live knowin' that animal is sufferin', understand?" He asked and Jack gulped but nodded.

"I understand." Jack acknowledged.

"Don't worry, with the right caliber you can take down anything... See how this feels." John said and handed Jack the freshly cleaned weapon.

"Pa I've held a rifle..." Jack grumbled.

"This ain't just a rifle, this is a Krag-Jørgensen Rifle." He explained and nodded. "It can take down even a powerful bear in one shot in the right place, watching Jack look down at the Bolt Action Rifle, he ran his hand over it and John slowly took it back. "One of these days I'll let you use it on your own, but for now, you're gonna get your own." He said and Jack raised his brows.

"I-I get a rifle?" He asked.

"It's not much... But it'll kill and protect you, it's _your responsibility_ which means you gotta clean it yourself and either make or buy your own bullets once you start goin' out on your own... But for now, I have plenty of ammo for us." He said and Jack smiled as John walked over to the workbench and grabbing his own Winchester Repeater and handing it to Jack.

"Wow... My own gun..." Jack boasted.

"It ain't a toy... Respect it." John said and patted Jack's shoulder.

"I-I will sir... Thank you." Jack simpered.

"You're welcome son, let's mount up." John said and nodded, walking out to Harlow.

John climbed atop the alabaster horse and waited for Jack, riding out of the ranch. John was a master hunter, always had been, pulling out his map he glanced down, he had marked where he had seen certain animals. He led Jack up Northeast, passing Broken Tree, he knew they were getting close as the sun began rising over the horizon.

"Alright, Jack slow down." He instructed and pulled back, Harlow slowing to a slow trot. "Hold up." He said and reached into his bag, pulling out some binoculars.

Looking through the plains, John frowned at seeing nothing. Dismounting Harlow he looked at the ground, thankfully seeing some scat on the ground he reached down with gloved hands an took it gently. It was only a few hours old.

"Let's keep goin' they're around here somewhere." John said and looked to Jack before mounting Harlow. "Go slow." He ordered.

John guided Jack in a trot about a mile, looking around, however seeing a moving in the distance, John held up his hand. After the horses stopped, John took out his binoculars again, there they were.

"Over there." He said seriously and tossed Jack the binoculars, the boy caught them and looked at John's pointed finger before putting the binoculars up to his eyes.

"I don't see nothin'..." Jack muttered.

"Just wait..." John instructed. "There, in the shadow of that hill, look carefully you'll see them moving." John stated and Jack put the binoculars back up to his eyes.

John waited patiently, however hearing a small gasp from his son he smiled.

"I-I see them..!" He said softly and John nodded, taking the binoculars back. "They're so big... I dunno how they can hide like that." Jack said in awe.

"They're smarter than they look that's for sure, we can't take the whole herd or else we'll lose the one we shot... Let's look for one that can't quite keep up or one that's wounded." John stated and Jack nodded.

"There's a lot of 'em out there..." Jack observed and John nodded.

"There is, I've seen herds bigger when I was younger... A lot of people hunt them though, the population is smaller." John commented and looked through the binoculars. "Found one." He then said. "Get your gun out." John ordered and Jack gulped, doing as told.

John rode over to Jack, stopping next to him.

"It's your first hunt... You shoot first." John said and Jack frowned.

"A-Are you sure pa..? I don't wanna mess it up." Jack sputtered nervously.

"If you second guess yourself, you'll miss... You can do it son..." John assured, meeting Jack's gaze.

Jack bit his lip but nodded, loading his gun quickly. He brought it up carefully, his hands still shaking.

"See the one west of the herd..? It's limpin'... Aim for the neck or the midsection but avoid the joints, they have a lot of muscle." He said slowly, then reaching up and steadying Jack's gun. "... Calm down." He then said as soothingly as possible. "Breathe in... And when you breathe out... Pull the trigger." John instructed and Jack nodded.

Jack looked down the barrel of his gun, looking for the bull John had pointed out, upon seeing it he recalled his father's words... The neck wasn't easy to point out in the shadows but he was able to see the lighter color od the bison's stomach area. He breathed in slowly and then let it out... And squeezed the trigger. The herd scattered as the bullet exploded from the barrel, but the bull he had aimed for fell.

"Good shootin' Jack!" John exclaimed. "Come on let's go." He said and quickly rode towards the buffalo.

"I-I can't believe I did it!" Jack whooped as they approached.

"I told you that you could." John chuckled. "Now is the hard part though, we have a fifteen-hundred-pound animal, predators will smell this from miles away and the longer we wait the faster the meat will go bad." John said seriously and waved Jack over. "We have to section this meat and put it on the horses, we don't wanna waste anything, understand?" John asked.

"Yeah." Jack replied and kneeled next to the bull, reaching down and feeling the muscle mass. "We're gonna use all of it?" Jack asked curiously.

"As much as we can, the rack and the hide are worth thirty dollars alone in Mexico, we can sell some of the meat but since we're gonna stop through MacFarlane's Ranch we're gonna give some to them and have them freeze what we're gonna keep and take it on the way back." He explained.

John taught Jack as slow as he could without wasting time. He sectioned the meat with absolute precision after slitting the throat, having Jack haul the meat to the horses as he wrapped them carefully after salting them, packing them as much as he could.

"P-Pa do we have to take the guts?" Jack asked, feeling a bit nauseated from the site.

"Not all of 'em, but the liver, the heart, and the kidney's we'll take, the heart is delicious and Rufus will love the kidneys." He replied and Jack groaned softly as John took out a particularly bloody heart. "This will make quite a few meals..." He mused and wrapped it up with the liver and the kidneys with layers of salt.

"Why do you use so much salt pa?" Jack asked as John reached into a heavy sack of salt to salt more cuts of meat.

"It draws the blood out, it preserves the meat, since we're riding to Mexico I'm going to see if the MacFarlane's will let me use their freezer to store the meat and when we get home I'll smoke it." He said and Jack's stomach rumbled, John looked over and snickered. "Hungry?" He asked.

"Starving..." Jack groaned softly.

"When we get to the MacFarlane's I'll cook up some of the meat alright?" He asked and Jack nearly drooled.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

John was having a great time teaching Jack how to hunt properly and Jack was absorbing the knowledge intelligently. He was such a smart boy it was hard to believe he was John's son.

"Alright, once I get the rack off we'll be done." He said and waved Jack over. "You're gonna help me cause it ain't easy." He said and reached into Harlow's saddle, pulling out some razor wire and a pair of gloves. "Put these on." He ordered and Jack did as told. "Alright this is what you're gonna do, take these handles and pull back and forth at the base of the horn, like you're cutting down a tree." He said.

John then began sawing, the horns were thick and by the time he was about halfway through he was panting and sweating profusely.

"Alright... Finish this one and I'll take over on the next one." He exhaled and Jack nodded, replicating John's movements.

By the time the two were finished, John and Jack heard a howl in the not-so-far distance and John frowned.

"Let's go before the wolves spook the horses or worse." He said, taking the horns in his hand. "Shit these are huge." He chuckled before putting them in Harlow's bag and mounting the horse.

"Pa how long will it take to get to the MacFarlane's Ranch? I don't remember?" Jack asked as they rode.

"Well, we can't gallop cause of the weight but... Maybe about six hours." John replied and Jack sighed in an exasperated fashion. "Here, eat this, it'll hold you over until we get there." John said and tossed Jack a bag of dry apple slices.

"What are these, pa?" Jack asked.

"Dried apples." John responded.

"What? You can dry apples?" Jack asked in surprise.

"Yeah, they're a nice treat actually, try'em... Don't tell your mama I gave 'em to ya though she'll be jealous." John chuckled softly as Jack reached into the bag and popping a shriveled slice of apple into his mouth and humming in relief.

"Thanks, pa." Jack said and John nodded.

* * *

Father and son didn't arrive until about midday, they could have gone father but both of them were tired of riding for the day. Drew was sitting on the porch, smoking out of a pipe casually as John and Jack rode in, he seemed much more pleasantly surprised this time around.

"Marston, what the hell are you doing here?" He asked almost cheerfully.

"Jack and I are heading to Mexico to get some money for some Bison that we just killed, selling prices are far better down there." John replied. "I was actually wondering if I could ask you a favor in exchange for some meat." John said and Drew got up, walking down the steps to them.

"What is it?" Drew asked.

"Well, since it'll be about a five-day trip there and back I was wondering if I could store the meat in your freezer until we get back and stay the night... You're welcome to some of it." He said and Drew nodded.

"Of course." Drew said and John nodded.

"I'd like to cook for you and your daughter today if you don't mind, I promised my boy I would." John chuckled and Drew chortled along with John until he looked to Jack.

"Nice to see you again, son." Drew greeted and shook Jack's hand.

Bonnie walked around the back a laundry basket in her hand she beamed a smile immediately.

"Is that the Marstons?" She called and John turned, his heart melting immediately.

"It is." Drew replied and Bonnie opened the gate and walked over to the group.

"You're lookin' better Bonnie." John said, a hint of relief laced in his tone.

"Yeah, I've been keeping hydrated and I'm limitin' my time that I'm up and about, it's helping." She chuckled and looked up to John, their gazes meeting for a moment.

Bonnie looked so different, she was wearing a sundress, her hair was down, cascading down her shoulders, her face looked brighter. John hadn't seen Bonnie in about two weeks and the last time he had seen her she was still a little sunken into herself. She seemed much more energetic.

"You boys gonna stay with us for the night?" She then asked and John cleared his throat softly and nodded.

"Yes, ma'am if you don't mind." He said and Bonnie scoffed.

"Of course I don't... I'll go get one of the guest houses ready for you." She said and walked around to the back to get some sheets and blankets off the clothes-line, John paused, he had to be alone with her for a few moments...

"Jack, help Mister MacFarlane load the meat inside, I'm going to help Miss MacFarlane." He said and Jack nodded innocently while Drew arched a brow slightly but that's all he did.

John shared a look of understanding with Drew and quickly walked around the house, watching Bonnie walk into the guest house that had two beds, a few of the families that use to live in the settlement had no choice but to leave after Bonnie laid off some of her farmhands. He smiled and slowly snuck up to the door, peering in as she put fresh sheets onto the twin mattresses. John looked around, making sure no one was watching before creeping inside and reaching around, placing his hands on to her hips from behind. Watching her gasp and turn she pressed her hand against her sternum before whacking John's chest.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, John!" She growled quietly, but her words held no real venom in them, in fact, right after saying them she smiled and reached up, running a hand over his cheek.

"I wish I could say I'm sorry but I'm not..." He replied with a rich chuckle of his own.

Bonnie smiled, leaning up and pressing a kiss against John's lips. Her pregnancy was not the easiest one but since John had begun visiting more often her stress was much less. John held Bonnie close but as her slightly extended stomach pressed against his own, he separated and looked down. He couldn't help himself, he caressed it gently and smiled rather adorably if Bonnie had a say so.

"... He's started to move." Bonnie revealed and giggled as John's face contorted into excitement.

"Really?" He asked quickly and Bonnie nodded.

John then kneeled down and pressed his ear against her stomach, he had forgotten that pregnancy could be so exciting, Bonnie rubbed her palm over her stomach, feeling the baby respond to the touches and smiling as John's mouth fell open as he heard the baby moving and pressed his hand carefully against the skin as the baby kicked around mildly.

"Oh my god..." John whispered quietly.

"It's your daddy..." Bonnie cooed to her belly and giggled as the baby moved more. "... Apparently, babies can recognize voices in the womb." Bonnie explained and John grinned like an idiot.

"... Hopefully soon enough... He'll get used to my voice." He said and Bonnie bit her lip.

"J-John you know... I don't want you to blow up your life for me..." She sighed and John stood back up. "... I want to be with you more than anything in the world but you've just got back on your feet... I don't want to be selfish and risk that." She said.

"The fact that you would place my happiness above yours is incredible... But I want this... Believe me... It'll kill me to hurt my wife and son... But never being able to acknowledge you or my child in public... That'll hurt so much more." He said and Bonnie smiled, tears gathering in her eyes but John wiped them away.

John then turned back around and quickly walked to the door, shutting it softly before he brought Bonnie close and suddenly kissing her again, but this kiss was full, feverish... As if it was raw need that was guiding him. Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck and hopped into his arms, he caught her with no hint of staggering. He then walked her to the wall and continued to kiss her, Bonnie gasped for air softly as John pulled his lips away from her to kiss her neck.

However, before he could unbuckle his pants he managed to pull back and wrangle in his desires. He had to remember that Bonnie was still in a fragile state and they had been here longer than was acceptable. He didn't want his son getting suspicious after all.

"Even though I want to fuck you into unconsciousness... We shouldn't." He said and slowly lowered her to the floor.

"It's not like we can't... But you're right." She chuckled breathlessly.

"I should get cooking anyway... I got a good heart from the buffalo Jack shot, it'll be good for the baby." He mentioned and Bonnie beamed.

"That sounds amazing... But you know what I've been craving? Beavertail." She said and sighed longingly. "If you ever manage to grab one, I'll gladly pay you for it." She said and John rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"No need... They're pretty popular by the rivers I should be able to fish one out... It's been a while but brushing up on skills is always important." he said and Bonnie smiled as she continued making the beds.

"Thank you, John." She said and John watched her.

He wanted to see this every day... Bonnie doing housework and living her life... Smiling after he came home from doing hard work on the Ranch... He wanted this more than anything. He reached over and pinched her rear, watching her jump slightly before he smirked.

"Get out of here!" She then laughed and swatted at him.

He quickly walked out of the house and up to the farmhouse, walking through the back door just as Drew and Jack brought in the bag with the heart and liver.

"Here give me that one..." He said and took the sack. "How does heart sound? I'll make some liver for your daughter as well, she could use the iron." He muttered and Drew smiled, John seemed to be keeping up his promise.

"Sounds great." Drew replied.

"Pa, can I go read my book?" Jack asked.

"Sure, you did good today." John said and Jack grinned shyly before retreating to the living room and sitting quietly, reading in peace.

"He's a good kid." Drew said and John nodded.

"He is..." John agreed.

"Need help with anythin'?" He asked and John shook his head.

"No, sir... You've helped me a lot over the past few months it's the least I can do." he said and Drew also retreated into the living room to read his paper.

Bonnie eventually walked back into the kitchen as John was searing the meat, another basket filled with freshly un-earthed potatoes.

"Mind if I help you? I make some good mashed potatoes." Bonnie said and smiled.

"You shouldn't have even been in the garden." John scolded gently and Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"John I ain't an invalid..." She giggled.

"Oh trust me... I know." John said flirtatiously, albeit discreetly.

Bonnie blushed and snorted before she began washing the potatoes in the sink. John looked at her from behind, reminded of what his life could be... Would be. The thought that this would be his life... He nearly fell in love with her all over again as he watched her start to peel the potatoes. He then turned his attention back to the meat and packaged up what was left, placing it in the freezer.

After the meat was done he took it off the cast iron and plated it just as Bonnie finished mixing her herbs and butter into her mashed potatoes. He sent a subtle wink at her before he walked into the doorway of the living room.

"It's ready." He said and both Jack and Drew stood up, grabbing their plates only after Bonnie got hers.

They then all sat at the table and Bonnie took a bite of the meat, sighing in sheer relief.

"John it's so delicious." She said and John smiled.

"Good, my father got that recipe from his father... It's always been successful." He said, beginning to eat as well.

"Potatoes are great too." Jack said and Bonnie grinned.

"Thank you." She resounded.

John felt a leg run up his own and he looked up for a moment to see Bonnie eyeing him from across the table. She was so beautiful...

"Do you want a beer, John?" Drew then offered.

"I didn't suspect you as a drinking man, Drew." John chuckled.

"He ain't supposed to be." Bonnie chided, but in good-humor.

"You've got to appreciate the small things." Drew replied.

"I would love one." John then said.

"Jack, lemonade?"

"Yes, please." Jack replied.

"What do you want Bonnie?" Drew asked.

"Lemonade is just fine daddy." Bonnie stated.

After receiving his drink John clinked his bottle with Drew before taking a swig.

"The meal is delicious John." Drew commented and John nodded.

"Well, you two have helped me a lot it's the least I can do, you'll have to tell me what kind of meat you want." John said.

"Some chuck and flank will be just fine." Drew mused.

"Will do." John said. "I marked the bags." He mentioned.

"Thank you, John." Bonnie said and smiled happily.

This was nice... Bonnie hadn't had such a pleasant meal in what felt like years, well... Meals with her father were never _unpleasant_ but the room felt lively, it was quiet but it was a content silence. When everyone was done, Bonnie stood.

"I'll do the dishes." She said and John stood.

"Absolutely not." he interjected, taking the plates from her. "Go relax Miss MacFarlane." He said and Bonnie went to argue but knew she wouldn't win.

"Fine, fine..." She muttered. "I'm going to get the clothes off the clothesline." She said.

"That's not exactly relaxing." John snorted.

"It's relaxing to _me_." She giggled.

Jack observed the interaction between his father and this woman... He had to admit, his dad was rather, friendly with her. If his mother was here she would make John sleep on the couch for weeks... He wondered what made John so familiar with this woman, she looked pregnant, but he knew it would be rude to ask her. He just retreated back into the living room, glancing back... Miss MacFarlane was smiling at his father... She did have a nice smile but the way he smiled back at her... It was odd.

* * *

That night John and Jack walked out to the guest house, turning on the light Jack laid onto his bed and read his book in his sleepwear, John hadn't changed yet as he sharpened his knife.

"It's getting late, you might wanna think about putting your book away." He pointed out casually, Jack sighed but minded John and got into his bed.

"Hey, pa... Is Miss MacFarlane pregnant?" Jack inquired curiously, John tensed for a moment.

"... She is." John replied, trying to sound disinterested.

"Where's her husband?"

"... She don't have one." John murmured, watching Jack hum.

"... I thought unmarried pregnant women were tramps." Jack said and John gawked at him.

"Who the hell told you that?" John asked.

"Uncle."

"Of course... Well, she ain't... Don't you ever call her that, either." John warned gently and Jack nodded.

"She seemed too nice to be one anyway." Jack expressed and John couldn't help but chuckle.

"She is..." He said fondly, quickly putting his knife away.

"I'm gonna go put the horses away, go to sleep alright?" He asked and Jack nodded as John turned out the light.

"Night, pa."

"Night, son."

John walked out of the shack and shut the door, but instead of putting the horses away... He snuck over to the farmhouse and walked inside through the back door, looking around, spotting Bonnie folding laundry in the living room. He walked into the archway.

"Hey... Is the coast clear?" John announced softly, Bonnie looked over and smiled, placing the shirt aside and standing, brushing her dress off as John approached her.

"It is... A-Are you sure you want to..? With Jack here I mean..." She asked softly as John rested his hands on her hips.

"I am... I need you, Bonnie." He admitted. "... But I don't wanna hurt you or anything..." He said, rubbing her belly again.

"... I have an idea." She said and John tilted his head.

Bonnie led John upstairs and into the bathroom and nodded to the bathtub. The thought was rather sexy... He had never done it in the bath before.

"Sounds good." He said grinning in her direction.

Bonnie smiled and nodded, shutting the door behind her and John, locking it. She then started the bath and shut the curtains before strolling over to John, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him gently.

"I love you, John..." She whispered.

"I love you too..." John responded, meeting her gaze.

His eyes were always so intense... She could get lost in them and she could see the love inside them. When the steam finally starting rising, Bonnie averted her gaze bashfully before she walked over to the bath and plugged it, but suddenly remembering the weight she gained she reached up and played with her hair nervously.

"Hey, you alright?" He asked.

"I-I... I just... I don't look... The way I used to b-before... The pregnancy..." She stammered and shrugged away from John.

"Hey, hey... Listen to me... You are _never_ not beautiful to me..." He affirmed and gently caught her waist, bringing her back towards him. "... Look, I won't ever force you to do this with me... But I don't ever want you to think you're not worthy of me." He said and caressed her cheek, Bonnie took a deep breath and smiled, nodding.

"... Thank you." She squeaked, before hesitantly beginning to undress.

John hadn't seen Bonnie naked in so long, he hadn't even had sex with her since before going to see Edgar and Archer after killing Bill and Javier. After Bonnie's condition went bad he didn't even initiate anything sexual because he was too afraid of hurting her, but she seemed so much more lively now, he would be lying if he said he wasn't afraid... But his doubts were quelled as Bonnie showed him everything she had to offer... She was so stunning.

"W-Why are you staring at me like that?" She stuttered.

"... Because you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen..." He disclosed and Bonnie blushed underneath his powerful gaze as he reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt.

Bonnie reached forward and opened his shirt after he had released the last button, admiring his fierce physique. She ran her palms from his pecks down to his flat stomach, she could feel the abs beneath that were ready to pop up at any second, John was a hard worker... Every scar she ran over was like a page out of his book. John, for once, almost felt bashful as well, she admired him like a piece of artwork and no one had ever made him feel so attractive, not even his own wife. She then reached up and took his hat off, placing it aside and running her fingers through his charcoal hair.

Bonnie then had to tear her gaze away just for a moment and walks to the bath and shuts off the water as John continued to undress, unbuckling his pants and nearing her, running a hand through her hair she smiled and nods. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be comfortable with sex again but... John made her feel like a goddess...

When John was fully undressed, he slipped into the water first, it was nice and hot, just what he needed... And then Bonnie carefully lowered herself on top of John, straddling him. He reached up and ran a hand from her cheek to her neck and to her collarbone. She leaned inwards, pressing her lips against his...

"I love you so much, Miss MacFarlane." He teased her gently, watching her lips curve upwards as she suppressed a giggle.

"I love you too... Yes, it's true... I love the outlaw John Marston." She chirped and kissed him again, nuzzling her nose against his.

He was so in love with her... And he was so lucky to have her love. Bonnie's sparkling eyes met his and he recalled the first moment he saw her... He leaned downwards and began kissing her neck, hearing her take a sharp inhale as she leaned her head to the side, exposing her neck to him. He then reached down and carefully kneaded her enlarged, rather sensitive, breasts in his fingers. She sighed and held onto his shoulders tightly as he worked his magic on her body as always.

Feeling his erection beginning to stand and press against Bonnie he carefully moved her so that she was above his member and slowly lowered her upon him, the water offering easy entrance. She took a slightly pained gasp, she hadn't been intruded upon in months... But thanks to the water and John's gentle demeanor it wasn't too much stretching her out once again.

"John..." She sighed.

"Is it too much?" He quickly asked, worried that he was hurting her.

"You wish..." She purred, watching John chuckle softly. "... It's just... Been a while... It feels amazing..." She exhaled and ran a hand over John's scruff, he couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfactory pride.

John slowly thrust upwards, feeling him every ridge and groove of Bonnie's warmth and he released a small grunt of his own. Bonnie then pressed her forehead against John's before she took the reins to John's surprise, beginning to rise and fall on her own accord. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his fingertips against her back pressing her close to him as she rode him.

"God, John... I love you." Bonnie whimpered quietly and kissed John's lips.

John smiled at her words, reaching down beneath the water with one hand and beginning to stimulate her delicate pearl. Her muscles tensed up against him as he did so, providing some rather intense and welcome friction against him. He released a stifled groan as she continued to ride him, grinding against him, allowing him to hit every pleasurable place within her. The two hadn't been with each other for so long it didn't take either one of them to get close to their orgasm. Of course, John had slept with his wife while he was at home, but he almost struggled to finish with her... Of course, he never told Abigail that.

He pushed Abigail out of his mind as Bonnie moaned softly, leaning her head back, John continued with his careful ministrations on her bud while his other hand slid down to grip her ass tightly and thrust in time with her. She met his gaze as she felt herself beginning to slip away.

"J-John I-I'm-ah!" She cried, unable to speak.

"I am too." He groaned in reply, roughly thrusting into her before he felt her contract around him, forcing his release.

Bonnie moaned and John held Bonnie tightly until they eventually came down from their adjoining high, John leaned back and Bonnie leaned upon him. He reached up and ran a hand down her blonde waves, panting softly as did she.

"I love you too..." He then said in reply to her previous statement.

The two relaxed for a few moments, but John eventually did have to get up, he and Jack still had a lot of riding to do in the morning. The two walked out the back door of the farmhouse after redressing. Bonnie flipped on the porch light and walked out with John, the two met each other's gaze as they had done hundreds of times before that like they didn't have to say anything... He took Bonnie's hand, bringing it up to his lips.

"... I hate leaving you." He sighed.

"I know..." She replied, smiling a bit sadly, but John then kneeled again and listened to her stomach.

"... I hate leaving you too." He said to the baby and instead of crying, Bonnie couldn't help but laugh at such cute antics, he then stood but he was unable to say goodbye, but as he went to leave, Bonnie kept ahold of his hand, he glanced back.

"... Would you mind dancing with me..?" She asked.

"... I've got two left feet, Bonnie..." John said shyly.

"That's alright... No music... We can create our own rhythm... Doesn't have to be anything fancy." She said and John sighed but he couldn't say no to her.

He brought her close underneath the porch light, resting his hands onto her waist as she wrapped her arms loosely around John's neck. The two swayed back and forth as Bonnie relaxed and rested her head against John's chest.

"This is nice..." She whispered.

"... It is." He agreed and leaned his head against hers.

He would never get tired of a life with her...

* * *

Jack laid quietly in his bed, lulling in and out of sleep, however hearing a small laugh outside his eyes fluttered open. He huffed but looked over... His father wasn't back yet..? He didn't know how long he had been out but he figured that his dad should have been in bed asleep by now. Sitting up, Jack yawned quietly and rubbed his eyes quietly, looking around, he slipped his boots on and got up, stepping outside.

Walking across the yard he furrowed his brows, the horses weren't put away..? Where was his dad? Didn't he say that's what he had been doing?

"Would you mind dancing with me?"

Miss MacFarlane's voice? Jack hummed softly and began walking towards where he heard her, perhaps he could ask if she had seen his father-

"I've got two left feet, Bonnie."

Jack gasped quietly... That was his father's voice! He crept up to the corner where he saw the back porch light on, maybe he heard wrong?

"That's alright... No music... We can create our own rhythm... Doesn't have to be anything fancy."

Jack slowly looked around the corner and saw his dad dancing with Miss MacFarlane... There was no way he was seeing this right was he..? He couldn't have been! O-Or this could be innocent? He watched carefully, yes it could be innocent... Until he watched his father pull back for a moment and kiss Miss MacFarlane as they swayed slowly... This... This wasn't innocent.

Jack quickly looked away so he wouldn't be seen... He instantly regretted getting out of bed and hurried as quietly as he could back to the shack. There's no way... He had to be dreaming or... Something! He shut the door carefully and quickly tore the boots off his feet and laid down, aggressively pulling the blankets back over his form, tossing and turning as sweat formed at his brow.

Why would his dad do this..? Could... Could Miss MacFarlane's baby... Jack gulped as he heard John's footstep's walking back towards the shack, Jack pinched his eyes shut and turned away from the door, trying not to make it obvious he was trembling as John opened the door. The older man sighed and glanced to Jack, reaching over and tucking Jack in a bit snugger and began readying himself for bed...

Jack began questioning everything that night... And found it near impossible to go back to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Jack felt sick, he almost didn't sleep at all that night... He occasionally would look over at John who slept soundly, how could he sleep so well!? He was cheating on his mother! He had to be dreaming... He _had_ to be. If this were true, it would break his mother's heart and shatter his already fragile family... He actually jumped when his father reached over and gently shook him awake.

"Whoa, are you alright?" John asked.

"Y-Yeah I was just... Dreaming." Jack muttered, averting John's gaze, noting John was already dressed.

"Well, it's time to get going, I let you sleep as long as you could but you gotta get up now." John said casually.

His father was up already..? Was he seeing Miss MacFarlane..? Jack felt nauseous but he didn't say any more, he just sat up without arguing, watching John walk out of the shack. He dressed, still replaying the events over and over again in his head of the previous night. His dad dancing with Miss MacFarlane... Kissing her.

Jack swallowed and walked out of the guest house as John rolled up the Bison hides, John looked over and nodded.

"We can make better time since we don't have all the weight of the meat on the horses." John explained.

"... Gonna say goodbye to Miss MacFarlane..?" Jack asked, narrowing his eyes slightly at John as he mounted his horse.

"She ain't up, besides, waking pregnant women is certain death." He chuckled in good-humored as he mounted Harlow. "We'll see them on our way back, we gotta pick up the meat we're taking home." He mentioned and looked to the exit of the ranch. "We should go, it'll take us probably another two days anyway, we'll stop in Chuparosa for a little rest." He stated as John began leading them off the MacFarlane's Ranch.

The ride was silent, John noted a shift in attitude but he couldn't put his finger on it, but Jack didn't say anything was wrong...

"Pa, how long have you known Miss MacFarlane?" Jack suddenly asked, John was happy to see that Jack was engaging in conversation.

"A while, around six months." John replied casually, there was a small pause.

"Then how do you not know who got her pregnant?" Jack asked.

"I just said she ain't married." John replied, getting a bit uncomfortable.

"So you do know?" Jack inquired.

"Is this an interrogation, boy?" John joked slightly as he looked over expertly changing the subject, Jack cleared his throat.

"N-No... I was just curious." Jack muttered.

"Why? You got a crush on her?" John asked in a slightly amused fashion.

"No... Do you?" Jack asked back, the question nearly slapped John in the fash and he gawked over at his son.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Well... Ya'll were looking at each other all funny that's all..." Jack murmured.

"Well, to answer your question, no. I like her, she's a nice woman and she saved my life but I'm married to your mother, got that?" John asked seriously, Jack's heart plummeted into his stomach as John's heart sped up with nerves, perhaps he and Bonnie weren't subtle enough.

"Got it..." Jack sighed softly and kept riding.

John wondered what the slew of questions regarding Bonnie were about... Did Jack not like Bonnie? Was he sensing a... Connection? John sighed and ran a hand over his face as they galloped towards Rio Bravo. He hoped he didn't have to answer any more questions, he couldn't know _too_ much about Bonnie, after all, he didn't want to give anything away before the time was right... And he suddenly felt shitty after telling Jack he was married to Abigail... He had a chance to do things right another time around, he didn't want to fuck up his third child's life up...

* * *

It was mid-evening by the time they arrived in Chuparosa, John was completely exhausted and he could tell Jack was too. He wanted a drink, perhaps he could buy Jack his first adult beverage.

"I'm parched, do you want to go to the bar with me?" He asked as they hitched up the horses outside a rented house and Jack seemed to lighten up some.

"Really? Are you sure pa?" Jack asked.

"Sure, your mama would kill me but what she doesn't know won't hurt her right?" John asked playfully, sending Jack's stomach into knots again.

"Y-Yeah." He murmured softly and walked inside with John.

The saloon was mostly empty to John's surprise but they got their own table and John ordered a few tequila shots, he had no intentions of getting Jack wasted but a shot and a good Mexican beer would be fine for his first bar experience. The attractive waitress walked over and placed the shots on the table, winking at John discreetly as Jack couldn't help but eye her up and down. John ignored the wink though and slid the shot glass over to Jack.

"Want one? It's tequila, strong stuff." John said with some amusement at the look of shock.

"I-I can have it?"

"Well if you don't want it I'll surely drink both of 'em." John resounded.

"N-No! I'll take it." Jack effused and took the shot, John brought the glass up, waiting for Jack.

The other gulped and brought his own drink up, clinking it with John's carefully, watching his dad take down the shot with little to effort before he braced himself and took in the shot, grimacing slightly at the taste and coughing softly as the burn as it raced down his throat and boiled in his stomach. John couldn't' help but laugh softly, remembering what it was like to be inexperienced at something.

"It's alright, they make it twice as strong here as they do in the states. You did good." He praised and Jack regained his composer.

"I-It was like... Hot." Jack groaned.

"Most hard liquor is, remember that. You gotta build up a tolerance for it." John explained and Jack nodded. "... So, tell me... Any girls in your life?" John asked, remembering he really didn't know much about his son.

"Nah, I do so much work on the farm I don't get out much." Jack sighed, watching John hum.

"So... I'm assumin' you ain't experienced." He said to Jack's surprised, how could his father be so casual about everything!?

"P-Pa I'm not sure I wanna talk to you about... That stuff." Jack mumbled nervously.

"Why not? We're both men, besides I've seen and heard much worse than _that stuff_." John chortled and Jack sighed.

"I just... The thought of you and mom... It's kinda gross." Jack managed to laugh nervously.

"I'm sure it is, but both your mom and I have had different lives before you... I'm sure she's told you... She and I have experience in a lot of things, not just sex... You know you don't have to be afraid of asking me things... You don't always have to go to your ma." He informed and Jack seemed to relax some.

"You sure..? I don't wanna bother you with this stuff." Jack sighed.

"Jack, you ain't-a bother... Ever... Do you have questions?" He asked and Jack nodded.

"N-Not about that just... I haven't ever killed anyone... What's it like?" He asked and John averted his gaze some.

"... It's a feelin' I hope you don't ever have to feel..." He stated but knew that wasn't an answer. "... It's adrenaline, a rush, a kinda sick twisted rush that you get when you shoot a deer, pride but instead of relief, you feel... I guess when I killed someone for the first time I felt sick... Cause I realized that actually ended someone else's life... But like hard liquor... You build a tolerance... And eventually, you feel nothing." He defined, seeing Jack taking in every word. "... It's not a good feeling." He concluded.

"... Mom said you killed a lot of people..." Jack mentioned and John felt a slight flinch in the back of his mind.

"I have... I'm not proud of it. I'm trying to change, but sometimes... You don't have a choice... Just remember, in a situation where it's you or another person... Make sure it's _you,_ understand? But don't go lookin' for trouble, cause when you look for trouble, you could catch yourself on the wrong end of the stick... Like uncle Bill and Dutch..." John sighed.

"... Did you kill them?" Jack asked quietly.

"You sure you wanna know..?" John questioned back.

"Yeah." Jack affirmed.

"... I did... I had too, I didn't have a choice." John responded.

"... Cause it was you or them?" Jack inquired.

"That's right." John said and looked up as their beers were delivered. "This outta be easier to swallow." John snorted in better humor as he passed Jack the beer.

Jack took the glass and looked in it, watching John take a gulp he slowly brought it up to his lips, the bitter taste making his face scrunch up for a moment but it was much smoother as it went down. It was much easier to drink, John finished half of his in one go, watching with a smile as Jack slowly acquired the taste.

"How's that? Better?" John asked.

"Yeah... Thank you, pa... Mama always treats me like a child." Jack grumbled.

"Well, you ain't-a man yet, but you're gettin' there." John commented and Jack smiled shyly.

Jack wanted to ask more questions... Like: Why were you dancing with Miss MacFarlane? Why were you kissing her? Was her baby yours? So many questions went through Jack's head, but this was one of the first time he and his father had bonded in what felt like ages... He wasn't strong it enough to be so bold as to confront John head-on at the moment... He could tell his mother but what good would that do? Besides, he wanted to be sure he wasn't dreaming when he saw him and his blonde-haired mistress... Maybe it was a convenient excuse not to bring it up.

"Pa?"

"Hm?"

"Why were-"

 _Why were you and Miss MacFarlane kissing?_

"... Why were you gone for so long? Were you busy with Bill and Dutch..? Ma's only told me a little bit." Jack mumbled, fuck he choked.

"... Well, I suppose you're old enough to handle the truth..."

Jack nearly tuned out everything as John explained that the government was holding him and his mother up, he kept thinking about Miss MacFarlane and her baby. Did Miss MacFarlane know his father was married? Obviously, he had too since she met his son... Unless she thought his pa was widowed but... That didn't make enough sense in his head.

"Jack, you listening?"

"Huh? Yeah... Yeah, I am." Jack lied.

"... I know it's a lot to handle... I'm sorry it all happened in the first place..." John apologized.

"It's okay pa... I understand." Jack said and John smiled, thankful to have this off his chest.

John and Jack had another beer but when Jack began slurring slightly, John was sure to cut him off and switch him to water to keep the hangover, if there was one, from pausing their trip for Jack to recover. It was nice, John actually enjoyed himself and Jack was able to make himself forget about his father's infidelity long enough to bond with him.

Jack still found it hard to sleep that night despite having some alcohol in his system, but he did manage to fall into a somewhat peaceful sleep.

* * *

John was able to haggle some extra money out of the vendor that he sold his kill too, he walked back to the horses with about fifty dollars and he already began calculating on what he would spend it on. Jack, on the other hand, was debating on what would happen when he got home, knowing that the guilt of knowing this horrible secret would eat him alive. John climbed upon Harlow and looked over to Jack, tilting his head.

"Hey, you alright? You've been a bit quiet... You got a fever?" John asked, not waiting for an answer before he took his glove off and pressed the back of his hand against Jack's cheeks and forehead, despite the boy trying to get away.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He grumbled in embarrassment.

"You feel a bit warm, drink this." John ordered and tossed him the canteen of water, Jack hesitated but did as he was told and drank the refreshing liquid.

"Thanks..." Jack muttered quietly and handed it back to John, but John wasn't convinced.

"Jack... What's goin' on..? You're kinda scarin' me, son." John said quietly and Jack gulped.

"Pa... If you knew somethin'... That you didn't wanna know... What would you do about it?" Jack asked, John was confused and wondered if it was about what he had talked about with Dutch and Bill.

"... Depends... Is it about me?" John asked and Jack hesitantly nodded, John felt a pang his hit chest but he looked away for a moment. "... If I could take back what I did I would... But I didn't have a choice, your Uncle Bill and Dutch weren't the men they used to be..." John explained gently, Jack was a bit relieved that John concluded the wrong outcome, he wasn't ready to discuss the secret yet.

"I know... I just... It's hard to believe that someone you've known for so long would do somethin' so bad." Jack said, a tinge of angry bitterness lazing his tone.

"I get that, just remember... They left me to die... There's no saving that." John said and reached over, patting Jack's back.

 _Maybe we would have been better off if you would have-_

That thought made Jack's blood run cold, he didn't mean that! He loved his father, and would never wish him dead...

"Can we go..? It's hot here and I'd like to get home." Jack quickly changed the subject and John paused but nodded.

"Sure, son... Let's go." John said and kicked Harlow's sides into a gallop.

* * *

John and Jack ended up having to stop in Chuparosa again since they didn't get back to the small town until late evening. They galloped into New Austin and almost as if the guilt weren't enough, his father _insisted_ that they stop at the MacFarlane's Ranch for the night, saying he wanted to count his finances around people that he trusted. Jack wasn't sure that he would be able to but he had no choice but to do as his father said.

Jack watched John intently as he walked up to the farmhouse and knock gently, watching Miss MacFarlane answer and a huge grin smoothing onto her expression and saying something, but Jack was unable to hear what she said. John then looked to Jack and waved him over, Jack swallowed and trudged to the house and inside.

"Nice to see you again, Jack." Bonnie greeted happily and Jack nodded in reply, afraid that if he spoke he would vomit.

John walked to the kitchen table and began writing something down, starting to divide the fifty dollars that he had received towards things that were needed. Hay was the first priority, then- hands suddenly began running up his back and John couldn't stop the smirk that slithered onto his expression before he turned his head, seeing Bonnie, but remembering Jack's sudden line of questioning he, unfortunately, had to shrug out of her grasp and stood. He then nodded to the back door, Bonnie tilted her head but followed his gesture and walked outside.

"Somethin' wrong, John?" She asked after John silently shut the door.

"... I think the boy is catchin' wind of our situation." He stated and Bonnie went pale. "Don't panic... He doesn't know anything... He was just asking a lot, and then actually asked if I had a crush on you." He explained and Bonnie sighed.

"I'm so sorry John..." She groaned softly.

"It ain't your fault... We just gotta be careful, yeah? Maybe cool it a little bit while Jack is here..." He said and Bonnie nodded, disappointed but understanding. "... I wish we didn't have to though." He added for extra measure, reaching up and running a hand up her side, Bonnie couldn't help but smile.

" _You're_ the one that has to cool it or else my sex hormones are gonna take control of me." She snorted and shoved his hands away playfully. "... But if you wanna make it up to me... You're welcome to come to my room tonight." She whispered and John smiled.

"... Count on it, Miss MacFarlane." John mused flirtatiously, enough to make Bonnie blush deeply.

"You... Always know what to say to make me weak in the knees... So unfair." Bonnie almost moaned, John grinned before he slipped back inside.

John sat at the table again and continued drawing a short-term budget while Jack continued trying to look calm as he read, but he continued to read the same sentence over and over and sighed quietly. He leaned his head back and rubbed his eyes softly, looking over just as John and Bonnie walked back in... _Together._ Jack looked away quickly, frowning seriously and pinching his eyes shut. What was he going to do..?

* * *

That night, Jack laid in his bed, his father wasn't here... He was _putting away the horses_ again. He had to know for sure...

John, on the other hand, was on top of Bonnie, as usual, the two panting and moaning softly in unison. Bonnie clawed at John's back and wrapped her legs around John's waist as he ground his hips into her. John held her hips in place and kissed her neck, nipping it gently and lowering his head to her enlarged breasts and beginning to kiss and suck on them.

"God John..! I love you!" She cried.

"I love you too..." He grunted against her skin, thrusting roughly and clutching the bedsheets beneath them.

When the two released, John panted roughly and rolled off of her to take any pressure off the baby if there was any. Bonnie then cuddled up to him, and he wrapped a secure arm around her. He was worried about her every time he left since he had found out about her condition, she seemed so much better now but he kicked himself since he wasn't there when she went down... He leaned over and kissed her head.

"... I wish I was here to protect you." He admitted and Bonnie arched her brow at the unexpected statement.

"Protect me from what? Nothing has happened to me since-... Well, you know... No one has messed with me and I'm a big girl." She chuckled softly.

"I know... But it's not just that... You got sick and I didn't even know about it." John sighed.

"John it's not your fault... I've never blamed you for any of this..." Bonnie cooed and reached up, caressing his cheek tenderly.

"I'm a lucky man... You have every right to be bitter or impatient and you've repaid me with nothing but love... I don't know what I did to deserve you." John said looking over and watching her smile.

"... You've given me what I've always wanted... I get to be a mother thanks to you." She said and John leaned in, kissing her lips once again and pulling her close to him.

"I love you... But I have to go." He said and Bonnie groaned softly.

"I know, I'll walk you out." She said as John got up and began getting dressed.

He and Bonnie walked downstairs and walked out the backdoor, unaware they had prying eyes.

"I'll miss you..." Bonnie said softly and John reached in, taking her hand.

"I'll miss you too... I love you, Miss MacFarlane." John assured and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers and wrapping his arms around her waist as Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you too..." She whispered against his lips.

* * *

Jack watched this display and looked away, he couldn't deny it anymore... He would never look at his father the same... He was angry, bitter, confused... Worried about his mother. He reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes... Men don't cry after all. He then walked to the shack, putting his clothes on sloppily over his clothing and ran over to his horse. He didn't know where he was going... But it was far from here. Away from his father...

He kicked his horse's sides roughly, the horse releasing a small whinny as it took off out of the MacFarlane's Ranch. He had _no_ clue where he was... But it didn't matter. The night sky was high, it was even harder to tell which direction he was going in but he had to be far enough so that John couldn't track him, he needed to be alone... He panted and sniffed quietly and wiped his eyes again, dammit! He couldn't cry! Men don't cry!

* * *

John walked towards his shack and opened the door, but he furrowed his brows. Where was Jack..? His clothes were gone... What the fuck? John hummed softly and looked around, but suddenly his heart stopped. His horse was gone!? John was going to kill that boy when he got his hands on him assuming he didn't get shot or eaten first! John's heart plummeted into his gut... No, he couldn't even go there in his mind yet.

John sprinted over to Harlow and didn't waste time, looking at the ground, it was fucking dark... He had no clue where Jack went... He just kicked Harlow's sides and began galloping out of the ranch, his eyes darting around in a panicked state. He was scared... He looked death in the face and wasn't even close to being this scared. The only time he came close to being this scared was when he realized Bonnie was captured.

However something caught John's eye, he skidded Harlow to a stop and dismounted his horse, running over to the item on the ground. It was Jack's book! He was here! John got back onto Harlow, hoping to god that Jack had dropped more things to lead him. John rode Harlow ragged, but thankfully his prayer was answered... John found a shirt, a canteen, and an empty sack. Jack must have left in a hurry but he had no idea why.

A sudden _BANG_ in the air nearly stole John's soul from his body.

"Jack!" He screamed and rode towards the sound.

The next thing he saw through nearly made John blackout, Jack's horse... Dead on the ground.

"Oh, Jesus..." John panted in dread.

He went to the horse's side and inspected the horse... It was shot, he was thankful it wasn't Jack that had been shot but now he had no idea where Jack was taken, looking around a small glow in the distance was John's best bet.

* * *

Jack was drug along the dirt by men twice his size, he had no idea why he was ambushed the way he was. He didn't even do anything to these men! He never met them!

"This looks like the boy who killed James and George..." One of the men snarled as they threw Jack to the ground.

"Y-You must have a mistake I-I didn't kill anyone!" Jack tried to explain.

"You didn't hm? Weren't you travelin' with an older fella? One of the boys that escaped... Said he slaughtered my boys after failing to grab the cattle you was transportin'..." The other mused and Jack gulped.

Fuck.

Jack was suddenly punched in the face, he yelped and winced. His hands were tied behind his back and he was unable to defend himself as someone else landed a kick to his stomach, forcing all the air from his lungs.

"I-I... I didn't kill anyone..." Jack whimpered.

"I'll show you what we do to liars, boy..." The obvious ring-leader chortled and picked Jack up by his hair as tears streaked down the boys face. "You cryin'? You little fuckin' coward..."

Another man started to approaching with a metal rod in his hands. Jack's heart sped up, they were going to cripple him!? They were... The man aimed the rod at Jack's knee cap... Jack shut his eyes as he braced himself for unbelievable pain, however, it didn't come, instead a _BANG_ from the distance slightly startled him and the man's head, who held the rod, nearly exploded. Jack cringed as brain matter spurted over him.

"What the hel-" _BANG_.

Again, brains were splattered as Jack was dropped. Looking over, he saw his father approaching. It was almost impressive how fast John was, as he was dismounting Harlow, John unholstered his double-barreled shotgun, pumping it into the third man that was with the group that had abducted his son. It all happened so fast... John looked around for anyone else, and without a word he ran to Jack's side and brought out his knife, cutting the other free and without any words John embraced Jack tightly, panting. John was obviously just as scared as Jack was, but as soon as he pulled back, he slapped Jack across the face.

"What in _God's_ name were you thinkin' boy!?" John asked, Jack rubbed where he had been both punched and now slapped. "Are you fuckin' crazy! What would have happened if I hadn't come Jack!?" He asked. "Answer me boy or I'm gonna put my boot so far up your ass you'll taste the dirt on my boots you stupid fool!" He badgered and Jack gulped.

"... I-I... I saw you... With _her_." Jack murmured almost silently.

"Speak up boy." John ordered.

"I saw you with her!" Jack bellowed, stopping John in his tracks.

"What are you talkin' about..?" John asked.

"Don't play dumb! Y-You and Miss MacFarlane! Is her baby yours!?" Jack asked and John went silent.

This wasn't a secret any longer it seemed.

"... That's why you ran off?" John asked.

"... Yeah... I-I didn't know what to do... I saw you last time too but... But I thought... I thought maybe I was dreamin'... A-And when I saw it again... I knew I had to do something but-"

"Nearly gettin' yourself killed was _not_ a good choice you stupid boy." John scolded.

"... I-Is it true..? Is her baby yours?" Jack repeated the question and John looked away.

"... It's true, son." John replied honestly and Jack looked to the ground.

"W-... Why?" Jack asked.

"It's complicated-"

"It's not complicated pa! You got another woman pregnant! What about ma?" Jack asked.

"Listen... I made a mistake... But I love Miss MacFarlane... I love you and I love your ma... Trust me, it's complicated." John sighed and Jack looked away.

"... I-I... I hate you for doing this to mama..." Jack sneered and John sighed, he deserved that... He couldn't even argue.

"... I understand." John replied calmly.

"You understand!? You understand what!? That you got some unmarried woman pregnant!? That this is gonna destroy mama!?" Jack asked.

"Look, boy, I know what I did was wrong, but this doesn't excuse you nearly getting yourself killed!" John snapped and stood up brushing himself off. "Get on the horse, we're going home." John commanded and Jack huffed and looked away.

"... Are you gonna tell mama?" Jack asked.

"... I've been plannin' on it." John sighed and watched Jack begrudgingly walk towards Harlow, but John quickly caught his arm.

"... Are you alright?" John then asked.

"... No." Jack replied before getting on Harlow silently.

John sighed and climbed on the pearly stallion before beginning to direct Harlow towards the right path home... Not only would Abigail rip him apart for what happened to Jack... But he had to break her heart.


	18. Chapter 18

The ride back home was painfully tense. John was exhausted but after the stunt that Jack pulled, John couldn't take him back to the MacFarlane's ranch. The tide took a bit longer than wanted due to the limited visibility, John had no clue what time it was by the time they had ridden up, but the lights in the house were out and John was relieved that Abigail was asleep.

John and Jack walked into the house and turned on the lights in the living room, both of them were uneasy... Jack's anger had all but dissolved, he now just felt... Conflicted. John, on the other hand, didn't know what to feel, he was still furious at Jack for nearly getting himself killed but at the same time, after he was told the reason behind the daring escape, he too was conflicted.

"Sit." John said shortly, pointing at the couch.

"P-Pa I would rather just go to-"

" _Sit._ " John repeated, narrowing his eyes, obviously in no mood to be argued with, Jack sat without another word, quickly too.

John walked into the kitchen and walked back out with a rag filled with ice pieces. Nearing Jack he sat down next to him and gently pressed the ice against the black eye that was forming. Jack hissed but didn't move away, the cold was calming and would help in the long run.

"P-... Pa?" Jack finally asked.

"Hm?" John hummed softly as he looked Jack over.

"... Can I ask questions about... You know." Jack sighed and John hesitated but he breathed.

"... It would be cruel to say no, but don't ask questions you don't want the answers to." John said carefully.

"How did it start?" Jack asked.

"... It's hard to say if I'm being honest..." John began but recalled how they met. "... Uncle Bill shot me, real bad I thought I was a goner... But I opened my eyes and I was indoors and there was a blonde woman nursing me back to health... It was Miss MacFarlane, she never tried anything funny on me, nor the other way around she was just a good friend... It just happened... I know it sounds stupid, but it was one of those things... I knew that when I looked at her and she looked at me... That she saw what I saw." John recounted and smiled a little at remembering.

"... You really love her... Don't you..." Jack muttered sadly.

"I do... I can't help the way I feel... I love you very much, I know you don't wanna believe it and you might not accept it... Hell, you may never accept this... But I gotta do this... I'm tryin' to make sure you and your ma are set up before-..." John stopped himself and Jack looked over.

"... Before you leave?" Jack asked and John sighed softly, he reminded himself he was laying it all out right now he had to be honest.

"... Yeah." John sighed and Jack looked away. "... You're welcome to come see me anytime but I wouldn't blame you if you didn't... But this isn't Miss MacFarlane's fault, it's mine." John said.

"... I dunno." Jack muttered and John nodded in understanding.

"... Where else did they hurt you?" John asked and Jack shrugged.

"Just kicked my stomach nothin else." Jack said and slightly moved away from John.

"... Well, keep this on your eye for a while you should probably get to bed... Oh, by the way, I found this lookin' for you." John said and handed Jack his book, Jack gasped softly and snatched it and sighed with some relief, but obviously, it was certain Jack wasn't sure how to act around his father yet, he managed to nod his thanks. "... You're welcome. Get to bed now." John said and Jack walked into his room shutting the door.

John reached up and held his head in his hands for a moment as he thought of his options. Jack knew now... While Jack didn't threaten to tell Abigail, John was sure he would if John didn't and he wouldn't blame him if he did. Maybe he should just tell his wife tomorrow and get the hurt out of the way... He would probably get kicked out, he stood and walked to the kitchen and took out an envelope. He then counted the remaining money he had after giving the MacFarlane's the big chunk. He had about four hundred left over, plus the fifty he just made... He figured that would be the best thing to do, with the cattle starting to prosper this would make them last a while...

* * *

"John?" Abigail asked as she rested her hand on his arm, John jumped slightly and looked around, he had sat back down on the cough and forgot to go to bed. "What're you doing out here..? You're home kind of early." She commented, in her robe, her hair rolling down her back.

"We got in late... Jack got hurt so we-"

"Jack got hurt!?" Abigail gasped and went running to his room but John caught her arm.

"C'mere first." John instructed.

"I-Is he alright?" Abigail asked quickly.

"He'll be fine... Some drunk asshole in Mexico gave him a shiner... Needless to say, he ain't walkin' no more." John lied and Abigail huffed.

"What on earth encouraged that?" Abigail growled.

"He mistook Jack for someone else... It was a pretty interesting night." John mused and Abigail sighed.

John felt his stomach flip and turn in anxiety, he lied to Abigail again... But she seemed to calm some as she looked at John, meeting his gaze and smiling a bit.

"Well... Despite that... I'm glad you two are home, the house felt empty while ya'll were gone." Abigail simpered and leaned in, kissing John.

John returned the kiss eagerly enough and pulled back, running a hand over her cheek as she leaned into it.

"Go get dressed woman before I show you what I really think of this robe." John ordered and Abigail giggled before she stood and began walking back to their bedroom.

John leaned his head back for a moment, he felt like shit both physically and mentally but there were plenty of things to do for today... And possibly rip the band-aid off. He figured he would give Jack the day off after the stressful night that they had... John had to get out of here.

Jack seemed to avoid John when the boy got up and John didn't blame him, there was a pit in his stomach as he observed Abigail's behavior and her demeanor didn't change so he could only assume that Jack kept the unholy secret to himself. He was doing his best to work quickly but he kept getting distracted by the thought of how he would explain what happened with Bonnie to Abigail. Watching Jack walk into the barn John sighed and began walking towards it, he noted Jack working on a lathe.

"Hey, Jack." John greeted softly.

"Hey, Pa." Jack replied.

"Need a hand with that?" John offered, nodding to the workbench.

"No, sir, I've got it." Jack stated, relaxing a bit.

"Looks like you have. You know, you're real good with them tools." John mused and felt some pride blossom within him.

"Thank you, Pa." Jack said with a subtle smile.

"You'll make this land real nice one day. Me and your mother, we do our part. By the time your turn comes, hell, this could be the nicest farm in the county." John sighed and looked around.

"Well... You won't be here..." Jack muttered and John winced slightly.

"Look Jack... I'll always be here for you and your ma... No matter what, I know she'll never want to see me again but I'll always be here if you want me... You just got to learn to shoot straight or you'll get yourself eaten by some animal." He teased softly, trying to lighten the depressing mood.

"Very funny, Pa." Jack snorted softly.

"Thank you, son. Soon, it'll be quail season, we should have some fun then." John said trying to change the subject.

"Is there anything you don't like shooting, Pa?" Jack asked curiously.

"Well, I ain't met the thing yet, but as soon as I do I'll let you know. You can even put it in one of them books you read." John chuckled.

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that... _The day John Marston stopped shooting_." Jack said motioning in his hand in the air as if he were reading a bilboard.

"Now, I ain't no literary man, but I don't think that'll sell. People like shooting in them things." John said shrugging his shoulders.

"I think you may be right there, Pa..." Jack admitted with a grin.

"So, you ever hear talk about them machines that can make a man fly?" John asked, it was nice to have a normal conversation with Jack.

"Well sure, Pa, everybody knows about that. You know, they're going to be bringing one of those machines around the country next year for demonstration. One of them machines can turn men into angels." Jack explained.

"One of them machines can turn men into angels..." John muttered thoughtfully with a small hum, little did he know hell would show up at his front door any second.

Uncle stood outside upon the hill, looking through a spyglass, the older man had always been a drunk, but what he saw... This wasn't a drunken mistake. Soldiers, and a lot of them, some on horseback some not... This couldn't be good.

"John, come here. John, come quick!" He shouted, John furrowed his brows, Jack did as well as John jogged outside. "Take a look at that..." Uncle muttered soberly, John took the spyglass and peered through it, his blood ran cold...

"Jack. Get into the house. Lock all the doors. Whatever happens, don't come outside. You hear me? Whatever happens." John ordered, his voice slightly shaking.

"Okay?" Jack asked, the sudden change in tone startling him.

"Come here, son." John then commanded.

John then grabbed Jack's arm and brought him close, embracing him tightly. John knew that this could possibly be the last time he would ever see Jack... He regretted everything for a small moment.

"Whatever happens, keep the doors locked and your mother inside. Promise me, son. Promise me!" John begged.

"Who is it, Pa?" Jack asked.

"Just some old friends. Me and Uncle take care of it. Now you go inside and you keep the doors and the windows locked." John stated and pointed at the house.

"I hear you." Jack said, meeting John's gaze, if his father was scared something was wrong.

"Then run." John exhaled.

"Yeah. Run boy!" Uncle snapped.

John watched solemnly as Jack ran off. John only regretted one thing now, that he didn't break Abigail's heart before this... Maybe then she wouldn't miss John so much once he died. He took a breath and began facing the harsh reality... He was going to die.

"Well, old man, looks like things is about to get settled once and for all." He mused and began looking through his guns, loading them all.

"So it seems." Uncle replied.

"Come on, old man. I'm gonna need you to help me hold them off." John said and the two took cover.

As the first wave of soldiers began shooting, John glanced to the house, Jack had done what he had ordered. He bit his lip and began shooting back, he should have known things wouldn't ever be settled when it came to Edgar and Archer, first they took his family, they forced him to hunt down the men he once called family, they began abusing Bonnie and now... Now they were coming to kill him. He would not have any qualms about shooting everyone of these men.

"Get in there. There'll be more coming!" Uncle barked and John sprinted into the house.

"What are we gonna do now?!" Abigail asked, her resilience starting to crumble.

"What's wrong, what's happened?" Jack asked, his rifle in his hands.

"Stay inside, you hear? Like I said. There'll be more coming." John stated, running back out to the porch, Jack following anyway.

"Pa, what do they want?" Jack cried.

"I don't know, son. Whatever it is, it ends here." John snarled as more men began storming on the house.

"Look how many there are. They're gonna kill us, aren't they?" Jack asked, looking to John with fear in his eyes.

"I ain't gonna let that happen son." John encouraged and patted Jack's back.

In the grueling battle, Jack felt he had no choice but to help... He pulled his rifle up and began open firing, watching as his bullets began hitting men, and his father was right there was a sick rush associated with it but he made sure never to miss a target. However a bullet whizzed by him, puncturing Uncle's torso.

"Uncle, are you alright?!" He gasped.

"Dammit, I'm hit." Uncle groaned, falling backward onto his hindquarters, leaning against the porch and clutching his chest as blood poured onto his shirt.

"Hang in there, Uncle. I'm gonna get you out of here safe." John panted as he reloaded his gun.

"Ain't time, John. I ain't gonna make it off this porch anyhow. You take Jack and Abi... Take them and... D-Don't worry about me. Just get 'em out of here!" Uncle coughed as blood sputtered from his mouth, but he wasn't able to say anything else, Uncle closed his eyes and John felt a pang hit his heart, he hated realizing he had come to care for the old man, watching him die was painful.

"No! Uncle! Please! Oh my God! They killed him!" Jack screamed.

"Come on, son. Ain't nothin' we can do for him now." John yelled and drug Jack into the house.

"We're leaving the farm. I'll watch from the silo. You two go to the barn, get the horses ready." John said quickly as he grabbed any spare bullets he had around the house.

"John..." Abigail whimpered.

"I'll meet you there." John said, unable to stop and let his emotions get the best of him, Abigail shrunk away when she saw Uncle's body but John kept ushering her towards the barn. "We'll make a run to the barn. Stay close and keep your eyes open!" John commanded, when they got to the barn, John turned to Jack, they both shared a look of understanding. "Hey, come on. Now listen, Jack, darling, get on this horse. Get out of here. Go find a place to hide." John said, as he brought a horse out of one of the stalls.

"You're coming with us, Pa." Jack sniffed as he mounted the horse and John helped Abigail.

"I'll catch up. You keep riding and don't look back and don't be worrying about me, you hear? Now get going..." John begged.

"You stay out of trouble, John." Abigail wept as tears rolled down her face,

"Ain't no trouble, Abigail. Ain't no trouble. I love you." John promised, taking Abigail's hand and kissing her lips.

"I love you." Abigail shakily said.

"Now go. Git." John said and slapped the horse's behind, watching it gallop off with tears in his ambers.

John sniffed and sighed, leaning his head back, thankfully the tears didn't fall, he looked to the barn doors, knowing Edgar... As soon as he was dead, he would go after Abigail and Jack... Or worse, Bonnie.

Bonnie... In that moment he remembered everything...

Her azure eyes...

Her canary hair...

Her buttermilk skin...

Her smile, her laugh and the way she always got huffy when he called her _Miss MacFarlane._

 _Uh... Mister?_

 _Everyone deserves another chance... Sleep well, Mister Marston._

 _Flattery will get you nowhere._

 _I can only assume what kind of man you are, more men like little damsels and I ain't one of those..._

 _I just wanted you to know i-in case... I wasn't good._

 _I love you, John..._

John couldn't help but smile as he approached the door and peaking out, there were dozens of men... There was no way that he could kill them all. It was over, but looking over he noted a stick of dynamite. He did have one plan... The only one that had any chance at working. Turning around, noting Harlow in the fenced corral. He took the dynamite and a pitchfork, putting the long rod in the handles of the door before he lit a match... He lit the fuse and placed it against the door before beginning to sprint out the back way.

"Harlow!" He barked, the horse looked up and trotted over to John.

John didn't wait, as soon as he mounted the horse the dynamite exploded, spooking the cream mustang and beginning to rush away from the property. Hopefully, he wasn't seen... But he knew this wasn't the end... They would keep hunting him and everyone he loved. He set a course for Hennigan's Stead... He had to make sure Bonnie was safe...

* * *

John looked back often, but no one was behind him, he wasn't sure how many people the dynamite killed, he doubted he was able to kill everyone but it provided a solid distraction long enough for John to get away, but John would have to finish this himself eventually, but his first priority was to get Bonnie off the ranch. He already knew where he would take her.

When John rode into the ranch, he was relieved seeing that he got here first before the lawmen did. He pulled back on Harlow's reigns and ran into the farmhouse.

"Bonnie!" He called frantically.

"J-John!?" Bonnie asked as she came out of her room, looking over the railing. "What are you doin' here all of a sudden?" She asked.

"Get packed, we gotta leave." John hurried and ran up the stairs, hugging her.

"John, you're scarin' me what's goin' on?" Bonnie asked.

"Look I can't explain now, I promise I will but I have to get you outta here first, do you trust me, Bonnie?" John asked.

"... Yes." She said and walked into her room, bringing out a small portable bag and began stuffing some clothing inside it.

"Grab a warm coat." John called, Bonnie furrowed her brows but did as told.

When she walked out, she was in her usual riding pants and a tight blouse. John took the bag from her and leaned in, kissing her lips firmly before he rushed downstairs.

"Let me just write a note to my dad." She said and began jotting down a few words and looked to John as he took the buffalo meat out of the freezer to take with them. "I'm ready."

John looked at her and nodded before he and Bonnie walked out to Harlow, he helped her mount him and he would begin to ride out of the ranch, kicking Harlow's sides quickly as he sprinted out towards Thieve's Landing.

"John please tell me what's goin' on!" Bonnie pleaded.

"Seems like there's no runnin' from my past." He sighed and Bonnie furrowed her brows but remained quiet as they crossed into West Elizabeth. "You might wanna put on that coat." John announced as they began heading away from civilization.

John avoided all major roads and Bonnie slipped on a coat as they crossed into Tanner's Reach. Bonnie had never been here, she couldn't help but watch in awe as John took them into snowy terrain Bonnie couldn't help but shiver, thankful that John told her to get a heavy coat. John finally slowed Harlow as they neared the end of the road, a cabin began coming into sight.

"I-Is this where we're gonna be stayin'?" Bonnie asked as the cold began nipping at her face.

"Yes." John replied.

The cabin was large enough it had a kitchen, a wood stove, a bedroom and a plain sitting area. It would be enough for them for now, John almost felt nervous realizing that he and Bonnie would essentially be living with her. This was a cozy place off the grid that they could hide in as the sun began going down.

John helped Bonnie off Harlow and quickly walked inside, shutting and locking the door behind her and lighting the oil lamps. He then began loading some already pre-chopped wood into the stove so that he could provide Bonnie with some warmth. Once a spark began spreading over the logs John looked to Bonnie who stood by the door nervously fidgeting as he slowly walked towards her.

"John... W-What's going on-"

She was cut off as John kissed her lips, holding her close and pressing his forehead against hers. He had to kiss her... She was here and she was safe.

"... I told you I'd tell you... C'mere." John said and gently pulled Bonnie closer to the stove and had her sit on the sofa nearest to the building flame. "... Firstly, Jack found out about... Us..." John sighed and Bonnie looked away. "I was gonna tell Abigail and come back to you today... Start a new life with you... If you wanted it o' course..." John chuckled bitterly at the situation. "... But then the government boys rolled up... Killed a good friend... Nearly killed my family..." He sighed and Bonnie took his hand. "... They want to kill me... And I knew after they killed me they'd come after you... I managed to get away, that's why I came to you... I'm sorry I scared you." He muttered and Bonnie shook her head.

"I understand John..." She said and John met her gaze.

"... I couldn't just... Let them hurt you... I don't know how long we'll be here... You sure you wanna be with me?" John asked and Bonnie smiled, giggling softly.

"... I'm sure John... I've wanted that since we first slept together... But I would have never told you that." She snickered and John finally smiled as he wrapped an arm around her. "It's too late tonight but... Tomorrow I'll spruce this place up... If you don't mind." She said, leaning against his chest.

"Of course I dont mind... I'd love this place to have our own style since we'll be here until this is sorted out..." He groaned and put his feet up on the coffee table to relax and she did the same.

" _Our_ style, huh..?" Bonnie questioned.

"Yeah... Ours." John said. "... That has a nice ring, doesn't it?"

"It does... I love you." Bonnie sighed tiredly, the ride really took a lot out of her.

When John looked over again, Bonnie was asleep. He picked her up gently and carried her into _their_ room... He took off her boots and her coat before covering her up. This wasn't the way he wanted to start his new life... But now was better than never.


	19. Chapter 19

Over the next few days, Bonnie began making the cabin more livable while trying not to kill John for hovering. He was always trying to make sure she wasn't overexerting herself, and while she appreciated it, she wasn't an invalid. She promised him she wouldn't push herself too hard and she had been feeling a lot better over the last few weeks and thankfully the warming of the seasons was starting to melt the snow, but it was still falling, she ripped down the sheets to the window in the sitting room and felt her heart swoon as she saw John splitting some firewood outside.

John reached up and wiped the sweat from his brow as he looked to the pile he had created, it would last a few days. Thankfully he wouldn't have to worry about this much longer, and he was sure Bonnie was happy that their baby would be born in the summer months. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to have the baby here but she and John had to lay low for a while until the initial heat from the invasion wears off and he can show his face without being shot on site. He was certain Manzanita Post would still be safe, it wasn't big enough of a settlement to supervise constantly... Maybe he'd have Bonnie go into the settlement for a little while and scope out the place if she were up to it. However, seeing Bonnie gazing at him from inside he almost felt a blush come to his cheeks but he winked and her.

Bonnie giggled quietly and added another log to the stove before she walked to the door, slipping on her coat and strolling out to the snow and approaching him.

"At least you look cute while you work." Bonnie simpered, John chuckled softly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I strive to impress you, Miss MacFarlane." He sighed and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Actually, I was wondering if you could do something for me." He mentioned and Bonnie tilted her head.

"Sure, what is it?" She questioned.

"Well... I can't exactly show my face around for a little while... I was hoping you'd head to Manzanita and trade some of that Buffalo meat for some veggies and whatever you want... I'm gonna look over the river and see what I've got goin' here... Maybe catch a beaver." He said shrugging, but watching Bonnie's eyes light up was priceless.

"John if you catch a beaver I will be your eternal love slave for life." She laughed.

"You weren't already?" John asked, arching a brow, unable to stop the grin from surfacing as Bonnie playfully shoved John away.

"Get away from me." She snorted.

"Here, I'll bring the stuff to you, take Harlow... I'll see about getting you a horse soon." He said, whistling for the horse.

It took a few seconds, but John heard his horse's hooves slamming against the ground as the pearly horse emerged from the trees. John then handed his reigns to Bonnie, Harlow seemed agitated at first but Bonnie ran her hands over his face as John packed his saddle with about a hundred pounds of meat before hoisting Bonnie onto him.

"... Be careful." John said seriously. "Got your gun?" He asked.

"Never leave home without it." She said patting her hip gentle before reaching over and pulling her hood over her head, she then leaned over and pecked John's lips before she began guiding Harlow towards Manzanita.

John sighed, he hated sending her alone, but he couldn't show his face anywhere before he knew where was safe and where wasn't. He'd have to devise a plan to get rid of Ross and Fordham but he'd need to let the danger die down.

* * *

Bonnie galloped forward, making sure her hood covered her identity just in case she had to make a getaway before she was seen. She slowed Harlow down as she approached the small rest stop. She hitched Harlow and looked around, she didn't notice any police or any new wanted posters, she could only assume this place was safe. She took out two packages of the meat and walked into the general store.

"Hello there, Miss." the manager said politely and Bonnie smiled.

"Hi there, I have a few more packages of this out on my horse, I was just wondering what I could trade for it..." She said and the man took the meat and unwrapped it, inspecting it carefully.

"This is some good quality... Bison, ain't it?" He asked.

"Correct. My husband-" Bonnie paused for a moment, the word rolling off her tongue, she didn't know how John would feel about her calling him her husband but she figured it was best to blend in. "He shot it not too long ago... But we need some more veggies and other things because I'm almost six months pregnant." She chuckled casually.

"Really? I couldn't tell." The manager commented and Bonnie giggled.

"Right answer." She said and the manager chuckled with her before she brought the other two packages in. "What can I get for this?" She asked.

"How about a sack of twenty-four potatoes, a couple heads of lettuce, I don't have much in terms of produce, but I do have a few nice skins if you'd like to look through them, some quail meat or dairy products." He said and Bonnie hummed. She knew John had a good coat but...

"Can I see the pelts, I'll definitely take some cream if you have it." She said and the man walked into the back room, bringing out a small pile of pelts that would be worth the meat she was trading.

"We could do two bulky fox pelts, four coon pelts, eight rabbits, _or_ we could do some sheepskin or some deerskin... What would you need them for?" He asked as he slid a medium sized glass bottle of cream over to her.

"Well... I would like to make my husband a _good_ coat... But I could always have him hunt the pelts for me... Can I get some of that quail?" She asked, slowly rubbing her wiggling baby bump.

"Of course, want some help?" He asked.

"If you don't mind..." Bonnie said and walked out to Harlow.

* * *

John was happy one of his traps _finally_ caught a beaver, not only one but _two._ He looked over to the dam that housed the colony, there had to be at least eight more good sized ones before he would pull his traps. He rubbed the beavers in the snow to keep them from freezing solid. He then drug them towards the cabin, heaving a sigh of relief as he heard Harlow's hooves approaching once more.

Looking over and seeing Bonnie ride towards the cabin he walked over to her.

"You got 'em!?" She asked in an excited manner as she saw the beavers.

"I told you I would." John chortled and helped Bonnie down, watching her trot over to the beavers.

"They're a good size too... Their fur could make some good gloves." She commented as she looked over the animals before turning back to John. "Hurry up and skin 'em! I wanna cook one of those tails tonight." She hurried before walking to Harlow and taking out the cream, the lettuce, and the quail. "Get the potatoes?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am." John replied smoothly before taking the heavy sack and walking with Bonnie into the house.

Bonnie rubbed her hands together once she set the groceries on the counter and looked at John. This was nice, it was hard being away from her father and away from her ranch but when she met John's gaze... This was all worth it, it was what she always wanted... And she could see that he felt the same way.

"... This is nice... Isn't it?" She asked, managing to look away from John to her stomach and rubbing it gently as the baby made a small fuss in her womb.

"It is... I just wish I didn't have to take your life away from you." John said and reached forward, placing his palm onto her stomach, he couldn't help the big grin that moved onto his face as he felt his child kicking around. "... At least he's strong." He said and leaned in, pressing his lips against Bonnie's.

"He is... Just like you." Bonnie replied.

"You flirtin' with me..? Cause I'm a big bad outlaw you know, Miss." He teased slightly and Bonnie giggled.

"If I recall correctly, you did plenty of flirtin', Mister Marston." Bonnie purred slightly.

"Oh did I?" John asked. "What about when we were star-gazin'?" John asked and Bonnie flashed a fake-offended look.

"I was being completely innocent! What about when you looked at my brassier after the rain?" She scoffed and John couldn't help but blush.

"You... You saw that huh?" He asked.

"A girl _always_ notices." She said and batted her eyelashes at John for a moment having won this little battle.

John rolled his eyes but leaned in, beginning to kiss her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yeah... Well, I wasn't the one who kissed you first." He mused against her lips.

"Well, you _did_ kiss my hand." Bonnie giggled.

"I'm about to kiss a lot more than that..." John snickered and suddenly picked her up, hearing her gasp and squeal slightly as he walked her into their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.

* * *

John sat up and looked over as Bonnie had a little cat-nap after he had made her scream for a solid twenty minutes. She was so beautiful... He couldn't believe how self-conscious she was when they had sex for the first time in months. He wished he could lay her and sleep with her but there were a few things he had to do before he could turn in for the night.

"John..?" Bonnie murmured sleepily as John finished re-dressing, he looked over at her and sat next to her, she was adorably amusing.

"Hm? Want me to get you anything?" He asked.

"No... I love you." She sighed and went back to sleep.

"... I love you too." He said, leaning down and kissing her head before he walked outside.

He began slicing the beavers hide off, and draping it over the hitching post for it to dry, being sure to cut off the tails and brought them inside.

"Ugh John! I smell the blood!" Bonnie groaned from the bedroom and John paused, raising his brows.

"Y-... You do?" He asked and Bonnie walked out, nodding. "Damn you just get superpowers when you're pregnant don't ya?" He asked and Bonnie shrugged.

"Suppose so." She snickered, she was dressed once more, walking over to John and taking one of the beaver tails from him. "Ugh, this will be amazing... Mind roasting it over the fire? I'm starving." She said and grabbed some potatoes. "I'm gonna roast some potatoes and mix some beavertail in it with some cream, it'll make a nice creamy stew." She mused and began readying the potatoes and lettuce, she wished she had some carrots but this was better than nothing.

"Don't talk anymore you're making my stomach rumble." John groaned as he took the tail and took one of the clean fire pokers and stuck the tail into the flame allowing the crispy outer skin to char.

Bonnie sliced some potatoes up and began searing them up with some spices as well as using a little bit of the cream to give them a silky texture. When the skin began peeling on its own, John brought it to Bonnie before she shooed him out of the kitchen. John finally sat down and leaned his head back as Bonnie cooked. Despite this being a panicked started to his new life... He had never been so happy despite being with Abigail for nearly sixteen years. John must have dozed off because all of a sudden he heard Bonnie.

"It's ready John." She said and brought him a plate as he went to get up.

"You're an angel." He sighed and sat up straight, taking the offered plate.

"I know how hard you've been workin' to make this place livable the last few days... I appreciate it." She said and John raised a brow.

"Hell Bonnie you've made the house a warm home... That was your doing not mine." He said as she sat beside him with a plate of her own.

"John you caught the beaver!" She laughed, watching John shrug.

Bonnie quickly took a bite and sighed with relief. It was so good and hit the spot with her cravings, the beaver tail had a natural buttery taste that went so well with the creamy sauce and the potatoes were able to fill her up.

"How is it?" She asked, looking over to John.

"Amazing as always..." John said with a grin as he continued eating.

Bonnie leaned against him gently and grinned happily as they ate.

"Oh!" Bonnie gasped softly and looked down, John looked over.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Y-Yeah... The baby has hiccups." She giggled quietly and John quickly put his plate down and Bonnie did as well before he leaned down and listened.

"Wow... How does it feel?" He asked curiously.

"It's hard to explain, but trust me, you don't envy me." She chuckled. "When he kicks it feels like I'm being beat up from the inside." She groaned softly.

"... I know it must be hard but... Hearing all that... I dunno, it shows that he's alright." He said and pulled his head back with a grin.

"Yeah... I'm happy." She said and met John's gaze as he kissed her lips.

"I am too..." He said and finished eating. "I got the dishes... You rest." He instructed and took Bonnie's plate as she propped her feet up on the coffee table.

John washed the dishes rather quickly and returned to Bonnie's side, tossing a log onto the fire, it was getting dark so the temperature was beginning to drop. Bonnie shivered a bit and John didn't hesitate to grab a blanket that hung over the side of the sofa and draped it over the both of them before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Despite all this... It was worth it." He said to her and Bonnie smiled.

"It was..." She sighed and nuzzled into his chest.

* * *

Nothing could ever be easy though.

Days turned into weeks, John and Bonnie couldn't have been happier, and her condition remained optimistic, but as Bonnie went into her sixth month of pregnancy she began feeling unusually tired again, though she assured John that this was normal. At least the weather had finally warmed up to the point that Bonnie could sit outside on the grass comfortably, she did that often when John was out hunting. He tried not to leave her longer than necessary but he had to make money and she shooed him off whenever he doubted leaving her behind.

Today though was different... Bonnie was sitting in the grass, rubbing her distended stomach. She remembered these feelings all too well... Her vision was beginning to blur and her heart was racing. She had to get into the house... Bonnie breathed slowly, deeply trying to stay conscious, but realizing that if she got up she would fall down, and she didn't want to risk falling onto her baby.

Bonnie's eyes eventually rolled and she fell backward, staring at the blue sky. She wanted to call for John, but she was so tired... Besides, he wouldn't hear her...

* * *

John knelt beside a whitetail buck that he had just shot and sighed in relief, they were nearly out of bison meat and he knew they were both getting sick of it despite the many recipes Bonnie had up her sleeve, the quail was a nice change though. He pulled out his knife and began skinning the animal. By the time he had gotten all of the meat onto Harlow something felt... Not right. There was a nauseous nervous feeling in his stomach. Looking back towards the direction of the cabin he paused, he was going to head to Manzanita and sell the pelt and the rack but... Something told him he needed to go back to the house first.

He and Harlow started towards the cabin and as he got closer he felt his feeling getting worse and worse. However, as he saw Bonnie on the ground he gasped and skidded Harlow to a stop. He vaulted off the horse and ran towards the blonde woman.

"Bonnie!" He exclaimed as he kneeled beside her and cradled her in his arms. "Bonnie, wake up darlin', wake up!" He begged, reaching down and brushed her hair out of her face, Bonnie's eyes fluttered but she didn't regain consciousness.

She _could_ hear him though, that gave John some hope. He scooped her up into his arms and he quickly carried her in the house. He reached up, pressing the back of his hand to her cheek, she was burning up, leaning down and listening to her heartbeat it was beating so fast John couldn't keep count. Shit. He laid her onto the bed and began unbuttoning her blouse before jogging into the kitchen, wetting a rag and returning to her, pressing it against her forehead.

"Come on, darlin'... You can't leave me now..." He whispered, but when the words left his mouth he felt his knees become weak for a moment.

He couldn't lose her... If he did, he would turn himself into Edgar and Archer himself. He reached down and rubbed Bonnie's stomach as he desperately tried bringing down her fever. When he realized it wasn't going down he had one last shot. He ran into the bathroom, thanking Christ they had a working bath, whoever designed this cabin was a fucking genius. He started the water and felt it, he didn't want it to be _too_ cold but he needed it to be cool enough to bring Bonnie's body temperature down. He plugged the bath up before running back to Bonnie, making sure she was still alive before he began undressing her, knowing that if he didn't bring her temperature down that the baby would suffer.

When he finally got her dress off he didn't waste time trying to fiddle with her brassiere or her underwear before he carried her to the half-filled tub before he lowered her in, beginning to run some water over her torso as it continued filling, when it finally came up to her breasts he shut off the water and continuing to gently wiped her face with the wet rag. John finally felt the panic beginning to subside when Bonnie's eyes finally... _Finally..._ Opened. She seemed confused at first but looking over with a disoriented expression she realized where she was.

"John? W-What's going on?" She asked and John took her hand.

"I could ask you the same..." John said and pressed her hand against his forehead as he said a small prayer, thanking God that Bonnie was alive.

"I-I... I remember sitting outside and suddenly my heart just... Started going crazy... I felt really dizzy and... That's it... What happened?" She asked.

"I came back and you were on the ground... I thought you were dead." He sighed and met her gaze. "... You were burnin' up so I put you in here... Glad it worked... I don't know what would I would have done if-..."John cut himself off and sighed, Bonnie weakly squeezed his hand as she saw his resilience beginning to crumble.

"... I'm here..." She whispered and slowly released his hand so that she could caress his cheek, watching him lean into it, he said nothing, because if he did he didn't think he could hold back his emotions any longer. "... You can't get rid of me that easy, Mister Marston." She chuckled softly.

In that moment, John knew he had to take care of Edgar and Archer... Bonnie was getting closer and closer to her delivery and due to being sick, John had to get her home so that she could be properly looked after. However, he also knew he couldn't leave her... He knew some people who owed him a few favors, they weren't the most honest and others were morally bankrupt but he didn't have a choice... He refused to leave Bonnie alone for longer than necessary. He didn't trust many people, he thought about seeing if Landon was available, but he was so far... Johnson would probably have to turn him in, and he wouldn't blame him... There was one other man, he'd have to track him down but it was better than no one.

John sighed and hung his head for a moment, trying his best to be strong... But realizing how close he was to losing Bonnie... And seeing how dangerous this pregnancy was... What would happen when she went to deliver..? What if she didn't make it..?

"John..?" She asked, pulling him out of his mind. "... Talk to me." She urged.

"... I-I ain't ever been scared of anything... Not lions, not bears... Not even death... But I was so close to losing you... A-And it scares the shit out of me Bonnie." He stuttered. "... I'm scared." He admitted and Bonnie watched John's usual gruff, intimidating personality beginning to dissolve.

"John, I ain't goin' anywhere... I've been waiting to be a mother all my life... And I've been waiting to be with the man I love... I'm not giving any of that up... I promise." She said and ran her fingers through his hair.

John couldn't take this anymore, he couldn't think about this... The first priority was getting someone to watch over Bonnie while he took down the men that blew his life apart.

"How are you feelin'?" He asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Better... Honestly." She replied and John nodded.

"Let me go get you some dry clothes." He said and kissed the top of her head before walking to their bedroom and getting Bonnie one of her more comfortable nightgowns.

When John handed her the gown he gave her some privacy so that she could change before he walked outside and stood by the front door. He lit up a cigarette and sighed leaning his head back before he even realized it a tear began falling down his scarred up cheek as he exhaled the smoke. He sniffed softly and let it linger for a few moments. After the panic had subsided, the fear that had taken over him. If Bonnie died...

He couldn't think about that. Reaching up he quickly wiped the tear from his face and took one last long drag off his cigarette before he put the end out and walked back inside just as Bonnie walked out of the bathroom, she still seemed a bit dizzy and John didn't waste time in going to her side and scooping her up carefully into his arms. He was both relieved and worried that she didn't protest.

"I love you, John." Bonnie whispered against him before he carefully laid her down onto the bed.

"I love you too." He replied.

"Can you lay with me..?" She then asked.

"... I will, just give me a few minutes to get the meat I caught in?" He asked and Bonnie nodded.

John didn't waste time in placing the meat in the freezer and placing the hide over a drying rack. He then took the bit out of Harlow's mouth and the saddle off his back to give him a break. He would be staying close to home for the next few days, making sure Bonnie was stable before he left to finish the hunt once and for all. He walked inside and slipped his boots and his belt off before walking into the bedroom, Bonnie was surprisingly still awake and waiting for him.

"You didn't have to wait." He mused.

"I know..." She replied tiredly.

John knew she would want him to stay with her for most of the day, he undressed most of the way, slipping in bed with her. He wouldn't sleep but he would make sure she was alright.

"I love you." He whispered to her as she rested her head upon his chest.

"I love you too." She replied without missing a beat, her palm running up and down the expanse of his chest.

John would miss this feeling when he left yet again, but he continued to remind himself that he was doing this for them and their baby... This would be a dangerous mission, one that he might not even come back from... John reminded himself to breathe... And enjoy his time with Bonnie while he had it.


	20. Chapter 20

Bonnie's condition remained the same over the course of a few days, but thankfully she began improving on the third day, she was able to walk around without becoming dizzy. John was preparing to leave despite feeling sick doing so, he was writing down the last places he had seen the man he would ask to come look after Bonnie as he sat on the sofa. He didn't hear her sneak up and read over his shoulder.

"Who is Nigel West Dickens?" She asked, watching John jump out of his skin, she giggled softly. "Sorry." She muttered.

John shook his head as she came around and sat next to him.

"An old swindler I used to know... A harmless old man and he's _very_ scared of me... I want him to stay here with you when I leave." He mentioned and Bonnie rolled her eyes but before she could protest John spoke again. "... I don't know how long I'll be gone, Bonnie... I need someone I can trust to be here if... Somethin' happens." He sighed as he continued writing.

"... Somethin' happens to me or you..?" She asked quietly and John paused, exhaling quietly. "... John...?" She asked quietly.

"... I dunno..." He replied and Bonnie looked away.

"John I would rather live here the rest of my life with you _here_... Rather then you dying." She gulped as tears came to her eyes.

"... I know... But with you sick with the baby I can't risk keeping you away from the ranch..." He muttered, continuing to write, trying to remain stoic.

"John!" Bonnie suddenly barked, causing him to look over at her with some surprise. "Please... Don't go." She begged. Ouch.

"... I have to..." He said, reaching over and running a hand through her hair. "... When it's all over... Not only can you go back home but you won't have to worry about giving any more money to those assholes and I won't have to worry about being hunted again..."

"Not if you're dead..." Bonnie sniffed.

"Bonnie I can't-" John stopped talking and looked down, his head hanging for a moment, Bonnie tilting her head.

"John talk to me..." She pleaded.

"... I can't lose you." He whispered. "... I-I... I can't... I saw you on the ground outside and... I thought..." He muttered and bit his tongue.

Bonnie ran a hand over John's scarred cheek, and quickly wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, he wrapped his arms around her waist and sighed.

"I'm not... Strong enough." He admitted and Bonnie felt her heart clenched.

She knew then that it was more selfish to ask him not to leave... Even if it killed her to watch him ride away.

"You've done so much John... If you could handle all that you can handle this... I'll be here when you get back." She said, giving him her blessing to leave.

"... I'll be back as soon as those bastards are dead..." He growled quietly and kissed her lips. "... Tomorrow I'm going to head out... West Dickens can be a bit infuriating but I think you can handle him... Like I said he's _really_ scared of me so he'll take good care of you." He chuckled quietly and pulled back, seeing her face...

He memorized every curve, every dimple... Because this could be the last time he saw it... But he would be damned if he would let anyone kill him before he saw his newborn, he would fight. He then met Bonnie's gaze, he never thought that one person would hold the key to keeping him alive.

"Let's go to bed." He then said and nodded to the bedroom. "I'm exhausted... I'm gonna leave in the morning..." He said and stood up, offering Bonnie a hand but she stood up on her own defiantly, he then wrapped an arm around her shoulders and began walking towards the bedroom.

However Bonnie suddenly stopped and John turned his head to her she was blushing.

"... I-I... Want you to take me." She whispered and John raised a brow.

"You sure you're up for it..?" John asked. "I mean I... Don't wanna hurt the baby." He muttered and reached forward and rubbed her stomach.

"John... I want this... Y-You're leaving tomorrow... I want to be with you." She protested and took John's hand that rested on her stomach.

John paused but he didn't wait too much longer before he brought Bonnie close and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. He couldn't believe she was six months pregnant... And she still was so beautiful... He loved her so much. He swooped her up into his arms and walked her into the bedroom, closing the door behind him before slowly laying her down on the bed in the quiet evening, the sun had all but gone down but there was still a bit of pink over the horizon. He reached down, caressing her face before he leaned down, listening to her stomach for a few moments... And he couldn't help but smile.

"Have you thought of names?" He asked and Bonnie grinned some.

"Abel for a boy... Hazel for a girl." She said and John arched a brow in slight confusion.

"Thought you said you were sure it was a boy?" He asked and Bonnie shrugged.

"I was but... Now... I dunno... To be honest I don't care about the gender... I would like a daughter at some point in my life." She chuckled.

"Well... If its a boy we'll just have to make a girl..." John stated, watching both the shock and the smile come over Bonnie's visage.

"... I would love that." She whispered as John stood back up, reaching up and beginning to unbutton his shirt.

John's heart warmed at the thought of having multiple kids with Bonnie and he finally started to come out of his shell again since Bonnie got sick. Once his shirt fell to the floor he tossed his hat aside, reaching forward and slowly pulling up Bonnie's gown. Seeing her blush out of embarrassment due to her weight was too cute for words. He then kissed her baby bump, he was already so attached to his unborn child, he would love to have a daughter too since his last one passed... He never got to experience what it was like raising a girl, though Abigail always told him it was not fun.

"John..." Bonnie said, John looked up quickly.

"You okay?" He asked.

"... I want to be on top." She said, sitting up slowly. "... It's been a while." She giggled and the familiar glint in John's eyes made Bonnie's stomach come alive with butterflies.

When all was said and done, Bonnie straddled John's hips carefully, leaning in and pressing her lips against his neck. John released a small breath as his hands caressed her broader hips as they slowly moved upwards, cupping and massaging her breasts. She inhaled sharply since her bust had gotten so much more sensitive, she moaned softly and kissed John's lips.

"I love you." He whispered against hers.

"I love you too." Bonnie said and smiled, tears in her eyes due to her emotions, John just reached up and wiped them away.

He then slowly guided her onto his erection, sighing in relief as it slid in without much resistance. Bonnie bit her lip and leaned her head back, holding onto John's shoulders. John would make sure Bonnie got everything she wanted tonight...

* * *

When John awoke, sunlight was beginning to peek through the window, Bonnie was still laid against him, their bare bodies still tangled in the bedsheets. He sighed, he knew of a few places to look for West Dickens, that was number one on his to-do list before he got to planning the lawmen's demise. He had to make sure that if anything happened to Bonnie there was someone to get her to a doctor no matter the consequences for him.

He carefully unraveled himself from her, doing his best not to disturb her rest as he dressed. He made sure to grab something with a hood to hide his identity in West Elizabeth. As he pulled it up he looked over at Bonnie, he knew she would want to say goodbye to him but... He couldn't. He couldn't say goodbye knowing he was willingly going to die should something go wrong. He leaned down and planted a small kiss on her forehead before walking into the sitting room, noting some paper. He started writing...

 _Dear Bonnie,_

 _I know you'll hate me for leaving without facing you but if we're being honest, this is going to be the most dangerous thing I've ever done... I love you more than I have ever loved anything else... I would rather die than anything happen to you or our child... I hope I'll live long enough to see if they become a Hazel or an Abel. I'm trying not to be depressing but... It seems like nothing can go the way it should..._

 _I want you to marry me one day... I've never wanted anything more than to be your husband... I wish I was man enough to say this to your face but I'm a coward... I'm in love with you, and no matter what happens to me please always believe that I love you._

 _However, with that said, I promise that I will fight and I will keep fighting if it means coming to see you again... I will do everything in my power to be there when you give birth. Please be careful and don't overdo it... And look for me in the sunset._

 _Love,_

 _John_

John breathed out and read the letter over twice, but before he could make a smooth getaway a hand rested on his shoulder. He couldn't face her, he didn't want to leave... His knees felt weak and his stomach was in knots.

"John..." Bonnie whispered.

How she got up without him knowing he would never understand.

"... You should be in bed." He muttered.

"... Were you just gonna leave?" She asked.

"... I-I... I couldn't face you... Still can't." John chuckled bitterly, Bonnie quickly took the letter from John's hand and while she wanted to get angry that he was just going to leave a letter behind, when she read that he wanted to marry her, she felt her heart stop.

"You... You want to marry me?" She asked, John blushed and finally looked over to her.

"... If you'd have me." He replied.

Bonnie threw herself into his arms, trying not to sob but in the end, she failed. Tears were streaming down her face as John wrapped his strong arms around her waist.

"Y-You... Come back to me... You stupid man." She whimpered.

"... I will." he replied and held her close.

As much as it pained him to do so he pulled back from her, leaning in he kissed her lips once before he grabbed the pistol that Ross had given him, slipping it into its holster on his belt and walking out the door and pulling up his hood as he mounted Harlow. He took one last glance at the cabin before kicking Harlow's sides roughly, making the horse start out on a gallop. Time to find the greedy lyin' old man, he mentioned leaving the area, John only hoped he caught him on time.

* * *

Riding out of Cholla Springs, John hummed and remembered which places he helped West Dickens swindle poor unsuspecting men to give over their hard earned money. He knew the old man wouldn't dare show his face in those territories again. He had already checked multiple places in Hennigan's Stead and while he wanted to roll into Armadillo and ask Johnson if he had seen the old man but he didn't want to risk being arrested or worse. His next stop was the Rio Bravo region of New Austin, there was Benedict Point and Plainview and since West Dickens had already stopped off at Plainview there was only Benedict Point for the region.

John was exhausted, he had been on the road for two days now, checking every major settlement and everyone in both Hennigan's Stead and in Cholla Springs, he took a left and quickly crossed into Rio Bravo. He was panicking, being this far out it would probably take the old man at least three days to get to Bonnie... He had to find the hustler before something happened to her whether she got sick or worse... John quickly put the morbid thought out of his head and kicked Harlow's sides faster.

Cantering into Benedict Point, the familiar voice of the old man's poisonous promises began ringing in the air.

"You, sir! Don't you want the amazing tonic that can make you the sharpest shooter in the west!" The familiar old man announced as he pointed to various men that gathered around his carriage.

That was West Dickens... He would never change, but as long as he didn't bring around any of his angry customers near Bonnie, John didn't care what he did in his spare time. John hung around in the back of the crowd, his hood acutely covering his features. Watching people pay for nothing but false words was hard for John to stomach but right now his own agenda was more important. Watching Dickens put his stolen money away, John finally watched the crowd disperse John walked up to him.

"Hello, old man." John mused, watching Nigel jump in shock.

"M-M-Mister Marston!" West Dickens crowed nervously.

"Shut up... I'm not exactly welcome in public." John hissed quietly and the white-haired man raised a brow looking around. "... Look, considering I've saved your life and done a bunch of your fucking errands... I need help and you're the only man I remotely trust, that's saying a lot..." John muttered.

"W-Well... It must've taken a lot for you to find me, what's going on John? Did you ever catch Mister Williamson?" Nigel asked.

"It's a long story... Right now, I need you to go to Tanner's Reach and past Manzanita Post, you'll follow the river and when you get to the waterfall there'll be a cabin... A woman named Bonnie MacFarlane is there... I need you to care for her she's... Six months pregnant with my child and she's been sick." John explained.

"W-What?" Nigel asked.

"Look it's a lot I'm sure she'll explain but I've taken days to find you and it'll take days for you to get to the cabin... Please, I need you to do this... Just in case something happens I need you to take her to the nearest hospital no matter what alright?" He asked.

"I-I... Alright..." Nigel sighed and nodded before he held out a hand to John. "It is good to see you again Mister Marston." He said and John took the other's palm, shaking it firmly.

"... Thank you for doing..." John stated.

"Well, like you said, you did help me on multiple occasions and I can't say no to you." Nigel chortled in a timid fashion.

"Good choice." John replied before he looked at Harlow.

John then realized he now had to start devising a plan to take down the government... While he knew Edgar and Archer were just small cogs in a large operation they were the ringleaders in ruining Bonnie's pregnancy and possibly her Ranch. He remembered that the Natives in the area were strongly against the union, they were his best bet. Though John knew this could be a very bad idea, his last few interactions with Native Americans were... Less than satisfactory.

* * *

Bonnie laid quietly in bed, doing her best not to move too much since John had left. Since she couldn't do anything if she collapsed again, she opted not to push herself to collapse. However hearing creaking from a small distance getting closer she picked her head up, John had been gone for about a week and the silence was deafening, but with the creaking of what sounded like a wagon getting closer, Bonnie frowned. There was nothing out here except the cabin, which made Bonnie nervous. She reached over into the nightstand and pulled out the revolver that she always had with her and walked into the sitting area where the front door was and pointed the revolver at the door should there be an unfriendly intruder, but a knock surprised her.

"M-Miss MacFarlane? Are you in there?" The older, slightly shrill voice, called from the door.

"Wh-Who are you!?" Bonnie asked aggressively.

"A friend! John sent me!" The man replied and Bonnie's eyes widened, could this be the _Nigel West Dickens_ that John was writing down?

"Um... J-Just a second... I'm warning you, if you're one of them lawmen I-I'll blow your brains out!" She growled as she approached the door.

"I can assure you that I'm not ma'am... I can see how you and Mister Marston relate to one another..." Nigel scoffed softly, watching the blonde woman slowly open the door.

She was definitely pregnant, but West Dickens could see why John was taken with her, she was a spry young lady. She observed the old man seriously but seeing that he was indeed not with the government she released a breath and nodded.

"I-I'm sorry... John and I have limited trust right now... Please come in." Bonnie said and walked back inside the cabin.

The old man walked into the cabin and looked around quietly before he shut the door behind him. Bonnie walked into the bedroom and walked back out with a robe over her night gown to look a little more presentable.

"If you don't mind- Miss MacFarlane right?" Nigel asked.

"I-It's just Bonnie, yes." Bonnie replied as she motioned to the sofa for the man. "Can I get you anything to drink?" She offered.

"No, no I'm alright... But mind explaining some things..? Mister Marston was very vague because he was desperate for me to get to you... He was almost distraught." Nigel muttered and sat on the sofa.

Bonnie took a breath and looked to her distended stomach and smiled. She couldn't help it, feeling a small kick she walked over and sat near West Dickens. She figured she would start from the beginning...

* * *

John had to trek back all the way back into West Elizabeth, he felt extremely uncomfortable returning to the Wreck of the Serendipity, but there were multiple tips that a few native had set up in the area and John could only hope that they weren't hostile. He stopped Harlow a small ways away and walked down towards the dock, seeing multiple people bustling about the area. He took off his hood to show what he wasn't trying to be secretive. However, as he got closer, two men stood, rifles in their hands and John quickly put his hands up.

"We don't recall inviting you here, savage." One of the thugs growled.

"I come in peace brothers..." John murmured tensely.

"You are not our brother! You desecrate our land, rape our women, and you _dare_ to call us brothers!?" The other replied, pointing the barrel of his rifle against John's throat, the other beginning to form sweat at his brow.

"Whoa, whoa... Calm down brothers." A sudden voice called quietly, the two men looking over. "This isn't worth our anger, he comes with no obvious ill intentions... Killing him now would prove them right."

John looked over to see two more men strolling over almost casually, the two thugs that had confronted John glanced to one another before they hesitantly took their guns away from John and huffed before walking away from him.

"Thank you... I didn't want this to escalate." John sighed.

"Well... You come to a native settlement with no idication of your intentions... Sometimes we have to assume even though we're not always right." The stranger replied and shrugged.

"Mind if I ask for a name?" John questioned.

"I'm Hassun and this is Chogan... We don't really mind if you're here but you may want to stick with us while you're here so people know you're not a foe." Hassun introduced and motioned to Chogan next to him. "Why are you here by the way?"

"To be honest... There are a few men in the government I have the displeasure of knowing and I don't have anyone to help me take them down... They are powerful people I can't do it on my own." John explained and both Hassun and Chogan looked to one another.

"Well... You may have come to the right place... But these people have to trust and understand you before they'd follow you... You look tired, wanna come with us?" Chogan asked.

"... Actually yes if you don't mind... I can explain more then." John sighed.

"Let's go." Hassun said and motioned John to follow them.

John was so relieved that these two men were understanding towards him, John was ready to be shot on sight. Walking with Hassun and Chogan into the Serendipity, John tried to look away from the scathing gaze as the natives saw him entering their sanctuary. John just kept his head down and his hand off his guns before Hassum and Chogan lead him to the main deck where there were multiple poker tables set up, this place was so different since the last time John was here, it was lively and not a shell of what the serendipity was.

"This place looks a lot nicer with people around here..." John observed as he sat at the table where Hassun and Chogan settled.

"Not a lot of... People like you come around here which is why we decided to set up here... You mentioned needing to kill some government boys? A lot of us are against the government but we have to be convinced to follow a white man." Chogan chuckled softly.

"I don't have much to offer... The men I'm after are hunting me, they made me hunt down other bad men that I used to run with and when there were no more people to hunt down they decided to kill me... I wouldn't care so much except that the woman I love whose six months pregnant with my child... She has to go into hiding because of it... She got sick during her pregnancy so I need to take care of these men so she can go home where she belongs in case... Something happens." John sighed and ran a hand down his face.

"I see, you've gotten into quite a predicament..." Hassun mentioned and John nodded. "You don't seem like a bad man but you have to understand why we can't just trust you..."

"I understand... I just want her to be safe... She's hidden in a good place up in Tall Trees but with her being sick... I need to kill these men." John said and both Chogan and Hassun looked at one another for a moment.

"... It'll take time to convince these people to help you... Are you willing to go through that?" Hassun asked.

"Yes." John said with no hesitation.

"Well... I suppose since you'll be sticking around we should introduce you around... You have to show these people that you aren't going to take and leave... Come on." Chogan instructed and began leading John and introducing them to some stand-offish characters... John hoped it wouldn't take too long... Bonnie was six months pregnant he didn't have very long before she gave birth.

* * *

"Wow... I must admit I didn't know Mister Marston had such a soft side." Nigel chuckled in good humor and Bonnie couldn't help but giggle in reply.

"I didn't either... I was actually a little afraid of him when we first met but... He's a good man and I love him... By the way, thank you for coming all this way..." Bonnie said and Nigel grinned.

"Well, I owed Mister Marston and... I'm _very_ scared of him." the older man mused, Bonnie couldn't help but laugh as he said just as John had before he left.

She had to admit she was unsure of letting a stranger care for her but she had been so lonely since John had left... And Nigel was a nice old man, he was a tad cowardly but he was sweet. She was glad he was here to keep her company, reaching down as she caressed her baby bump she sighed in relief.

"Can I ask the names you have in mind?" Nigel asked and Bonnie grinned, it was nice to share this with someone else.

"... Abel for a boy... And Hazel for a girl."


	21. Chapter 21

John had been gone for another two months, he was getting more and more nervous as the time seemed to fly. Bonnie had to be nearing her delivery soon and he could only pray that she was still alright. He had to gain the trust of these people and over the course of the two months that he was gone, he had actually grown to like the people he was living with currently. Over the first few weeks, he was spat at and cursed at, now most of the people had accepted that he was here to stay, some of the people were even _nice_ to him, offering him food and other things. He helped them with breaking horses, and showed inexperienced people how to section meat of animals that he had hunted. However his time frame was quickly closing, he needed to be there when Bonnie gave birth and she needed to be home.

Approaching Hassun and Chogan that morning as he usually did he was greeted with warm smiles, it was nice to be surrounded by people who were (mostly) nice to him. He was so used to people trying to kill him, that it was almost uncomfortable to be welcome.

"Morning brother." Hassun grinned.

"Morning..." John muttered distantly as he looked towards the horizon.

"Something bothering you John?" Chogan questioned.

"I just... I'm just thinking about Bonnie." He replied.

"Is that the woman whose pregnant?" Hassun asked curiously.

"Yeah... She's probably ready to give birth soon, I'm worried about her... I need to take out Archer and Ross soon." He said matter-of-factly and both Hassun and Chogan looked to one another.

"You're right... We'll help you." Hassun stated seriously and John gawked at them for a moment. "Believe it or not, you've done us many of great services, showing the inexperienced kids how to break horses and hunt properly, you're showing us how to survive... A lot of us know how to do it but a lot of the young men don't have fathers to teach them anymore... You've helped us a lot. We'll do whatever we can to convince the others to fight at your side... All we need is a plan to do it."

"... Thank you." John sighed in relief, he might actually stand a chance. "I have an idea of what to do but it'll require some effort... I'm a high priority target so if there is a tip on where I'm at, they'll probably send an army to make sure I'm dead... But I don't want them to know I have numbers, I want it to be an ambush, hopefully, if they think it's just me they won't send as many people as they did last time." He sighed.

"Last time?" Chogan asked.

"They held me hostage for a while, that's why I had to hunt down my old friends and then they tried hunting me like a dog..." John explained, feeling his blood boil.

"All lawmen are evil... The first thing we need to do is get support." Hassun said and motioned John to follow him.

Nervous was an understatement...

* * *

"P-Please, Bonnie, let me help you!" Nigel cooed as Bonnie got down from his carriage after they went shopping at Manzanita Post.

"Honestly, Nigel, I'm fine." Bonnie chuckled and shooed his hand away as she groaned once she teetered onto her feet.

Her stomach was so distended she was always top heavy. She could feel the kicking and Nigel's company was amazing, he was so attentive, sometimes like John, it was overbearing but most of the time she appreciated it. She missed John dearly, but he wondered why he talked so poorly of the older man, he was such a help to her pregnancy, and he never complained about sleeping on the sofa or cooking when Bonnie didn't have the energy.

She had almost gotten to get attached to the old man, she would miss him when John got back.

"Nigel, are you still thinking about going North?" Bonnie asked as they walked into the cabin.

"Possibly... The customer base down here is so hostile." Nigel grumbled.

"Well... Should you ever return, you're welcome to stay at the ranch and see us whenever you like..." Bonnie said with a small grin.

"Thank you, dear! I-I may have to limit my time around Mister Marston though..." Nigel laughed.

"Mind if I ask why?" Bonnie asked with small amusement. "I know you're afraid of him but why? You never really talked about how you met."

"He actually saved my life, I sell tonic that's supposed to have life-altering properties, but I was shot by a hooligan who wanted my day's profits when Mister Marston rode up on me, he then saved me. When we went after Bill Williamson and found out he was in Mexico, Mister Marston was pretty distraught... It's the only time I've seen him close to giving up, it was pretty scary, but he's a good man." Nigel chuckled softly.

"He is... I love him." Bonnie sighed and grinned.

"He is a lucky man, how are you feeling by the way? Do you want some tea? Go sit down." He ushered, shooing Bonnie to the couch.

"You sound just like him." Bonnie giggled.

"That's _almost_ a compliment." Nigel chortled.

* * *

Hassun and Chogan had gathered the people of the small settlement in front of John and while John was a many of many things, he wasn't a public speaker and his nerves were beginning to get at him. His people had oppressed these people for hundreds of years, the thought of asking them for more made him sick. However, he didn't have a choice.

"My brothers and sisters, as you all know we have been blessed with the company of our newest brother in arms, John Marston. His family is in peril and he must ask for our help... John?" Hassun asked and looked at John, he gulped and approached the crowd.

"I know my people haven't helped your people in any way, we've done nothing but hurt and take from you... But the woman I love, she's sick and she's eight months pregnant... Two lawmen from the government ruthlessly attack us and now she can't be near her family... She's in hiding... I wouldn't ask this if I didn't have any other choice... I hate asking for help but without you, I'm going to die and... I don't care so much about that but I'm more worried about her." He sighed and made sure to stand strong.

The crowd looked to one another in a puzzled fashion, they were slightly troubled, they wanted to tell John to screw himself but after all he had done to be accepted and helping them learn how to survive.

"... Brothers, he's done so much for us, this won't be easy... Some of us may die... But the difference between us and them? Instead of kicking different people down because of what they are we help with no hope of something in return... John has already given us more then he could have offered." Chogan said and before long the crowd shifted to John's favor and held up their guns to vow their support for John.

He was in disbelief if he were honest, he wouldn't have blamed them if they turned their backs on him. The fact they were willing to die for him made John wonder what he did to deserve all the good that had happened to him over the last year. Bonnie's pregnancy, seeing his family again and now having the support of the natives... He was shocked.

"... Thank you, I don't know how I'll repay you." John said to Chogan.

"You already have my friend." The other replied and grinned.

John couldn't help but smile, but now the plan was to figure out how to kill Archer and Ross without too much bloodshed. He reached up and rubbed his head as he thought, but as a light bulb slowly lit up in his head he looked to Hassun and Chogan.

"I have a plan." He said seriously.

* * *

The evening was quiet, almost too quiet as an automobile accompanied by multiple soldiers on horseback. The tip on John Marston was too good to give up, after losing him, they got their ass chewed out by the governor. While they wanted to let John go to live on with his miserable life since he wasn't worth more than the dirt on their shoes but they didn't have a choice this time around.

"You really think he's there?" The captain asked as he rode with Archer.

"I'm... Not sure. Miss MacFarlane disappeared too, I have to be honest he did well at falling off the face of the earth." Archer murmured and nodded.

"Then why are we wasting so many resources if you aren't even sure he's there?"

"Because we can't risk not taking this seriously, you should know that Captain." Archer grumbled as they entered tall trees.

As they got closer to Bearclaw Camp, Archer noted that it was quiet... But John wasn't like Dutch, he didn't mobilize the natives for his own gain.

"Why isn't Ross here by the way?" The captain asked Archer.

"He's dealing with things at the station." Archer sighed and rolled his eyes slightly at the thought of his partner skipping out on him, but one of them had to be here to make sure Marston was dead.

"There's the cabin... Something doesn't feel right." Archer sighed and looked around, assuming that the tip was a dud. "Let's get this over with."

Walking up to the cabin, he unholstered his gun with the captain, the two looked to one another before nodding and Archer kicked open the door and of course, it was empty. Archer groaned some and took out a cigarette, but as soon as he took out his lighter, bullets began flying without warning.

"Jesus Christ!" The Captain yelled and ducked back into the cabin with Archer.

"That son of a bitch set up this whole thing!" Archer spat and began aiming at the natives from the windows. "He's just like Dutch!"

Without having any idea of the ambush, most of their men were shot upon initial impact, those who survived were quickly overpowered by the army of natives.

"Unless you want to be shot like a dog, surrender your weapons and come out!" Hassun yelled as the cabin was surrounded.

"Alright alright! Whatever Marston is paying you we can double it!" Archer shouted.

"Come out!" Chogan barked and both the captain and Archer hesitantly walked out with their hands up.

"What did Marston tell you?" Archer asked.

"The truth, Mister Fordham." John mused as the natives parted the way as he and Hassun made their way to the front.

"You son of a bitch you won't get away with this-"

 _BANG._

John didn't hesitate to blow the captains brains out and then looking to Archer who winced as blood spattered over him.

"... Feels shitty being on the other end doesn't it?" John asked with a small smirk of satisfaction.

"W-Wait! Marston, I-I know what you're thinking but it was Ross! I'm barely a glorified secretary to him! You've seen the way he treats me!" Archer babbled.

"Where is he?" John asked.

"I'll tell you where if you let me live!" Archer snapped, John looked to Hassun and the two nodded before Archer.

"A bastard once said, you aren't in the position to make demands... Tell me." John snarled and pointed the barrel of his gun at the other's forehead.

"He's at the police station! Just let me get on a train you and Miss MacFarlane will never see me again! Just let me live." Archer begged.

"... You'll just come after us." John stated and without any more arguments, he pulled the trigger.

John felt an immense sense of relief as he watched Archer's body fall.

"What a coward..." Hassun sighed and looked at John.

"I can't ask you to come with me to Blackwater..." John affirmed and Hassun rolled his eyes.

"We agreed to help you, we must see it through." Hassun insisted, clapping John's back gently.

"Can I offer you anything else?" John inquired.

"A safe resting place should we ever meet again weary from travel." Hassun explained.

"Of course. You'll always be welcome... I plan on settling in New Austin, in Hennigan's Stead." John retorted.

"Thank you John, but before we start planning for the future, let's finish this." Hassun chuckled softly.

"Thank you again... Let's go." John stated.

John mounted Harlow, and looked at his miniature army, it felt weird being in power. All the people looked to him for direction, John glanced to Archer's body, he would let the animals take it. He then began kicking Harlow's sides, the thundering sounds of the natives behind him as they followed him to Blackwater, this would be over, tonight. The sun fell and the company began descending on Blackwater, as people began seeing the battalion, they began retreating into the buildings, knowing this could only end one way.

John's face was plastered all over Blackwater, as soon as an officer saw him, guns were drawn.

"John Marston you are under arrest, you have one chance to surrender yourself to the law or be fired upon!" A police officer shouted as they approached the station.

John rolled his eyes, normally he wouldn't be so bold but it was almost as if there was a switch in his brain... It was suddenly shut off, he was devoid of any feeling.

"... Take the station, if anyone opposes, kill them..." John snarled quietly.

"You should get out of sight, you're already wanted, we'll take it from here. If you're seen too much you'll be wanted everywhere." Chogan said and John raised his brows.

"Look, I'll get out of sight for now, but I'm going to sneak into the station in the commotion. I'm going to find Edgar Ross." He explained and Chogan and Hassun nodded to one another.

John turned Harlow and before the officer would say anything else, Hassun and Chogan let out a war howl, John galloped out of sight as bullets began firing.

* * *

Edgar sat in his office, but as gunshots began ringing out in the streets he gasped softly and looked at the window. He got up quickly and glanced out of it, savages? What were they thinking raiding Blackwater? Surely they were out of their mind!? How could they have known that their artillery was gone-

Marston.

Ross went pale and ran back to his desk, grabbing his gun and quickly running out the door.

"M-Mister Ross where are you-"

"If anyone comes looking for me shoot them!" Ross snarled and ran further up the stairs. He had no way to make a quick getaway. He had to make a stand here.

John, on the other hand, slipped his hood up once more, and got off of Harlow behind the saloon and slapping his behind to get him out of Blackwater. John then began slithering his way through the buildings avoiding bullets as he walked through the back way of the station.

"Hey, you can't be back here!" A guard shouted, John narrowed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

"Shots fired!" Someone shouted and John quickly hid.

He hated office buildings, he hated police... He hated Ross. John growled and ran inside as more guards were looking for the source of John's gunshot and began pulling the trigger over and over again, only hiding to reload. He couldn't remember killing people in such a rage, it was like a flash. He kicked open the door to Edgar's office, empty. Son of a bitch! John almost crumbled but hearing the door to the roof opened, John gasped and ran towards it. Shoving the door open, John gasped as a bullet pierced his abdomen and he threw himself to the side. Shit.

"Couldn't just die, could you Marston?" Ross hissed.

"I could say the same thing you psychopathic fuck!" John roared and covered the bullet wound before he reached around and fired towards Ross as he ducked behind cover as well.

John groaned and ripped a piece of his sleeve off before slipping off his belt. He stuffed the bullet wound and wrapped the belt around his abdomen, putting pressure on it without actually having to put pressure on it. He just needed to live long enough to kill Ross.

"Oh I'm a psychopath now? Look at you and your savages raiding the town! You really take after Dutch don't you?" Ross taunted and began looking for John with his gun loaded, about to round the corner where John had ducked before. "Just give up John!" He demanded as he rounded the corner, but John wasn't there.

John suddenly pointed the barrel of his gun against Ross' back.

"Drop it, old man." John commanded.

"... Alright, Marston..." Ross growled and hesitantly tossed his gun aside before John kicked the older man down, looking down at him. "If you kill me they'll never stop coming after you Marston..." Ross said seriously.

"... You sound just like Mister Fordham before he died... He basically renounced you and said this was all... Your fault... For a second, I almost believed him, but I know he's just a coward... Died on his knees, just as you're about to do." John mused, watching Ross' eyes widen.

"Y-You're a damn madman!" Ross insulted.

"... Maybe I am... But I know you're never gonna _extort_ anyone ever again..." John said and Edgar huffed.

"Then kill me you weak bastard!" The other bellowed.

"... I will... Trust me." John said and smirked.

He then pointed the barrel of his gun down and pulled the trigger, blowing out Ross' kneecaps, the other screaming.

"You goddamn animal! I should have killed you when I had the chance!"

"Yeah... You should have." John said unemotionally and shot out his other kneecap, ignoring the wailing of pain.

John made sure to make Ross bare unimaginable pain before he pushed the barrel of his gun against Ross' head.

"... Do you regret fucking with me..?" John asked.

"... Fuck... You..." Ross whimpered.

"Good enough..." John said and pulled the trigger.

John was free... He walked to the edge of the building and looked down to the chaos that was unfolded, but as Hassun and Chogan looked to him, John held up his hand and Hassun and Chogan whistled, calling off the attack. John retreated out of the station and whistled for Harlow. Everything moved so fast, as he began meeting the natives outside of Blackwater.

"Was anyone killed?" John asked.

"No, a few injuries... Is it done?" Hassun questioned.

"It is... Thank you... My family will be safe thanks to you." John stated. "You'll always have a safe place to stay at the MacFarlane's Ranch should you ever pass through New Austin, go tend to your wounded, you need to get out of sight anyway." John said.

"Thank you, John, you've done us a great service as well. We will meet again brother." Chogan said.

Just like that, John was alone again, he remembered this feeling... The feeling of freedom, the realization that he would never be hunted again. John quickly kicked Harlow and retreated towards Tanner's Reach. He hadn't seen Bonnie in months, he only hoped that West was there for once... However as his adrenaline began wearing off, John suddenly felt a dull pain radiating from his stomach, his shirt suddenly beginning to get wet. Looking down and moving his coat, he cursed under his breath, he forgot about the gunshot wound. He just... Had to stay awake...

He didn't realize how much he had bled out... He was getting tired so fast. No... Goddammit, he was so close! He was riding by the river and he was beginning to black out. His heart was slowing and he was... So tired. The world, which was going by so fast was suddenly passing by him so slowly as if John could see every little detail in the leaves, the green northern cedar, the smell of the blooming flowers and the summer night breeze hitting his skin... Everything was so calm and peaceful as he rode, he passed by deer who would pick up their heads and watch him ride.

It was so serene, he could smell the Snowbell and the Fire Lilies... He could smell Bonnie's perfume, how he could he would never understand but he could smell it combing it through his hair.

 _John..._

He could feel her whispering against his skin. John could feel her silk nightgown gently rubbing against his skin as she laid upon him. Was he dying? He had been near death plenty of times but it was nothing like this that he could remember. He could hear everything and nothing, he could hear his heart beating and the river flowing. John just focused on staying awake, he had to stay awake... He had to stay alive...

"Come on Harlow..." He murmured and blinked, his head slowly lulling to the side as his strength began fading.

He was so close... He could see the trail towards the cabin that he and Bonnie had made with trips on Harlow, he already felt so relieved at seeing wagon trails as well from West Dicken's wagon. She had to be okay... He had to know. As the cabin began coming into view John saw West Dicken's carriage. He was there...

Before John could even slow Harlow, he suddenly fell off of the horse and hit hard on the floor. His vision was fading from both the heard hit on the floor and his stomach wound. He rolled onto his stomach and tried to desperately crawl towards the cabin.

 _I'm here... I'm right here..._

John's exhaustion was getting the better of him, he was so tired and sore. Was he seriously going to die right here? He was so close to seeing Bonnie again... So close to seeing his newborn child. Harlow whinnied and approached John, leaning down and sniffing him carefully.

"... Good horse." He chuckled tiredly and shakily reached up and carefully patted Harlow's snout.

Harlow snorted and neighed loudly as John's hand fell. He could hear soft echoes, who was he hearing.

"... -ohn... John!?" That voice, he knew that voice, feeling himself being rolled onto his back he looked up, there she was.

"Bonnie..." He groaned softly.

"John!? Jesus Christ what happened!?" She cried.

"... I love you, Bonnie." He muttered.

"Nigel help me get him inside! He's covered in blood!" She screamed.

"Good lord Mister Marston can you hear us!?" He asked as he began trying to haul the bloodied man inside.

"I love you, Bonnie..." He repeated breathlessly.

"John please you have to tell me what happened!" She cried.

John was fading and he was too tired to continue as Bonnie continued begging him to stay. He saw her... She was so big, he was right she was so close to popping. She was so ready to give birth, even if he didn't see his child he was able to see that Bonnie was safe... Maybe that was enough.

* * *

 _ **Sorry this chapter took 5ever, I lost my muse and I didn't want to fuck this chapter up, I hope it was alright! Thanks for following this fanfic! Thank you for all the support as well!**_

 _ **-Eros**_


	22. Chapter 22

Bonnie sat on the sofa quietly, trying not to fall asleep, a feeling in her gut told her not to sleep. She felt nervous, was it the baby? She frowned and shook her head and carefully rubbed the still baby bump. She looked out to the dark sky and sighed, maybe she was being silly, Nigel looked up from his book

"Bonnie why don't you go to bed? You've been napping for the past hour. Something wrong?" He inquired.

"I just... I have this feeling... Just a little bit longer." She murmured.

"What kind of feeling? I-Is it the baby!?" Nigel panicked slightly.

"No! No, Nigel, I don't think so... I just... I feel like something's wrong... Not with the baby." She sighed.

There was a sudden neigh outside, Bonnie ignored it, thinking it was Nigel's horses. Bonnie then rubbed her eyes, but hearing another neigh, she furrowed her brows, hoping something wasn't outside spooking the horses.

"What's going on out there?" She asked and got up slowly.

"Let me check." Nigel said and walked to the door, but Bonnie followed anyway, gasping.

"Harlow!?" She asked but looking down her heart dropped. "Oh my god John!" She screamed and ran outside, Nigel followed her quickly rolling John onto his back. "Jesus Christ what happened!?"

"I love you, Bonnie..." He muttered.

"Nigel help me get him inside he's covered in blood!" She ordered as John lost consciousness.

Nigel drug the man inside as Bonnie looked to her bloodied hands. When he was finally in the cabin, Bonnie pulled open John's coat and saw the belt, she loosened the leather and pulling his shirt up. Seeing the bullet wound she dug her finger around in the hole, tears welling in her eyes. He was bleeding so much it had probably hit a major organ, she wasn't a doctor... SHe couldn't fix John this time.

"H-He's bleeding too much!" She sobbed.

"We have to get him to the hospital in Blackwater!" Nigel stated seriously.

"We can't! He's wanted there, if we take him there, there's no telling what could happen!" She argued.

"Bonnie he _will_ die if he don't!" He replied and Bonnie hesitated but nodded in acceptance.

Nigel hauled John into his wagon after Bonnie repacked the wound to try and control the bleeding while they traveled. She put all her weight on the bullet hole while John laid unresponsive, tears still streaking down her face but she kept a stoic expression.

"Please hurry Nigel!" She cried.

"I can only go so fast!" He replied as they rode quickly towards Blackwater while still remaining in control of the carriage.

When Nigel rode into Blackwater, the sight was insane, there were bodies on the street, people running around, doctors sprinting from boy to body. What the hell happened here?

"Are we there!?" She asked.

"U-Um... Yes but stay in there Miss MacFarlane!" He warned and pulled around to the back of the hospital so that Bonnie wouldn't see the blood covering the streets before he ran around the back and threw open the door.

"What are you doing!?" A doctor shrieked.

"I have a wounded man!" Nigel yelled back.

"I-Is he also from the raid?" The doctor asked and Nigel paused.

"Uh... Yes! Yes, he is and he's bleeding out he needs attention now!" Nigel said seriously and the doctor sighed tiredly.

"Let's go get him!" The doctor snapped and two more men in the hospital already covered in blood ran out to the wagon and opened the back up, Bonnie gasped and looked over. "Where was he shot?" The doctor asked.

"Th-The stomach!" She replied ad John was basically ripped from her grasp.

Nigel caught her as she went to follow.

"L-Let me go!" She begged watching John being hauled away.

"You don't want to go in there trust me." Nigel sighed.

"P-Please let me go! I have to be there i-if-"

"Bonnie you can't help him anymore, and you can't think the worse... We have to wait." Nigel sighed as Bonnie sobbed but eventually stopped fighting.

* * *

John blinked as he sat on the porch steps outside the MacFarlane's house, but something was different, there were no people... It was quiet, but instead of being eerie, it was almost peaceful. He had no idea how he arrived here... John looked down to his abdomen, there was blood still soaking his clothes but no wound. He looked around. He felt light, almost as if he had no care in the world. He lit up a cigarette and inhaled the tobacco carefully. Was he dead?

He looked around and stood, looking at the house, this place felt warm... It felt like he was home. He had to be dead, or something close to it.

"Hello." A child's voice said and John jumped and turned around, there were two children, a boy, and a girl, they looked about the same age.

"Uh... Hello." He said uneasily.

"You're probably wondering why you're here." The little boy giggled.

"I am... I don't remember coming back here... I don't remember anything really." He sighed and raised a brow. "Who are you anyway?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter who we are." The girl replied, they appeared to be about ten years old. "What matters is why you're here... You have a choice to make." She crooned.

"This can't be real I have to be hallucinating..." He muttered.

"Then you shouldn't be afraid to make the choice." The little boy challenged.

"... What's the choice?" He asked.

"Well... You can choose to stay alive or go... It's pretty simple..." The little girl informed and John rubbed the back of his neck. "... You've finished what you set out to do, you earned yourself and the people you love freedom... You can leave them to live their lives or you can continue to live with them and find a new purpose." She chirped.

"What about Bonnie? I can't leave her." He said seriously.

"It's your choice to make... Should you stay, you will wake up, if you decide to leave, you will come with us... Your ma has been asking about you." The boy beamed with a smile, John paused.

He never met his mother... The place he had felt was so warm and inviting like he wanted to just give in... Maybe it was in Bonnie's best interest that he left, all he had ever done was fuck her life up, their child would probably be better off as well...

 _Come back John... Come back..._

"What?" John asked and looked around. "What was that?" He asked and the two children looked to one another.

"... Perhaps his business isn't finished..?" The little girl asked.

"That was Bonnie." John gasped quietly.

 _I can't do this without you... I'm not as strong as you think I am... Come back, John._

"I have to go back." John said and the children looked to one another still smiling kindly, and like that everything was black once more.

* * *

Bonnie and Nigel finally were allowed into the waiting room when it began to rain. A doctor walked out looking a tad uncertain and solemn.

"You brought in the abdomen gunshot victim right?" He asked and Bonnie stood quickly.

"Yes! P-Please, tell me he's alive." She begged.

"For now... But the bullet went into his liver, he lost a lot of blood... I don't know if he's going to make it... I'm sorry." He said and Bonnie crumbled, but Nigel quickly caught her. "I can take you to him." The doctor said and Nigel nodded.

The doctor took the two to John, he was pale and his breathing was nearly nonexistent. Bonnie took John's cold and limp hand and sat by him. She wouldn't leave until she knew for sure.

"Please John... I can't do this without you... I-I'm not as strong as you think I am... Come back, John..." She whimpered.

With no warning, John gasped loudly, his eyes flying open. The breath sounded almost painful, but Bonnie jumped and looked down as John's eyes fluttered open. Where was he? John looked around, but spotting Bonnie he felt relief, but he was also in agonizing pain. He groaned and gripped her hand tightly and his eyes rolled some.

"John! John, can you hear me?" She asked, John was unable to speak, but he nodded. "Oh my god John..." She sniffed, John's hand carefully reached up and wiped her tears away carefully, she giggled while crying quietly. "Y-You're in a hospital... In Blackwater... I-Is... Is everything done? Can we go home?" She asked and John breathed slowly for a few moments but nodded. "Thank god..." She sighed and nuzzled his hand, holding it tightly. "I love you, John..." She whispered.

John managed a small smile and ran his thumb over her face. He was so tired... Maybe he'd tell her about what he saw but he was still unsure if it was a hallucination or not... He then rolled his eyes back and fell asleep, his breathing was much stronger now. Bonnie had no idea if she had heard him or not but she was so relieved that John seemed to come around. She looked to her stomach and placed John's hand upon him.

"Listen her ya little monster... Just stay in there for a few more weeks... That's all." She said quietly and Nigel rested a hand on her shoulder for some supportive comfort.

* * *

Nigel got up into the driver's seat of the carriage as a few doctors helped John walk out to it, Bonnie followed suit. Due to the chaos of what happened with the natives, no one realized that John had a bounty. He had to stay at the doctor's for at least three days before the doctors would even think about releasing him. He was still pretty fragile but John was able to walk with some help.

"Remember Mister Marston, no drinking until your stitches are out." The doctor stated and John rolled his eyes.

"I got it, doc." He grumbled, groaning as he stepped up into the carriage, the doctors offering Bonnie some help as well, but John couldn't help but smile as Bonnie swatted their hands away.

"Thank you." Bonnie said and leaned against John, unable to keep her hands off him, swooning as he wrapped her arm around her neck.

"Be careful Mister Marston, good luck." The doctor said and John nodded before Nigel began driving them towards Hennigan's Stead.

John looked out the window of Dicken's carriage. He felt almost out of place, it was hard to believe that this was actually over... There was no more Archer and no more Ross, he actually had a chance to have a normal life now, but he couldn't help but fear that something else would come after him, would the hunt actually be over? Or would someone else just come after him?

"John, are you okay?" Bonnie asked.

"... Yeah, it's just strange... Archer and Ross are gone... I'm just wondering if they'll find someone else to come after me." he muttered.

"... If they do, they'll have to deal with _me_ this time... I'm done with you always have to deal with this by yourself... We can be a family now." She sighed and smiled. "I-If you want to be..." She then murmured and looked away nervously, but John quickly quelled her fears by bringing her gaze back to him and kissing her.

"... Of course, I do... We've come this far, and I'd do it all again." He affirmed and Bonnie smiled. "I'm just afraid your father will kill me." He chuckled softly.

"He can't, I won't let him... I've already told him that you're around to stay and if he can't accept that then we would leave." Bonnie stated.

"Bonnie I can't let you throw everything away." He sighed.

"John, without you it wouldn't be worth it... I love you... You're the man I want to be with forever." She said and John smiled as well.

John was always exhausted, he found it hard to keep his eyes open since his injury but he knew once it truly began healing he would feel better.

"I'm feeling some deja-vu." He chuckled suddenly.

"How so?" She asked.

"I'm sitting here with you, injured... You're here with me, helping me get better... Reminds me of how we met is all." He chortled and smiled at the memory.

"I suppose you're right... Except now, you won't come back to me broken again." She snorted playfully and kissed his lips. "You look tired." She then commented.

"I am... I'm sorry I've been so useless." He groaned quietly.

"Don't be, I haven't been very useful either." Bonnie giggled.

"Are you kidding? You're making our kid." John laughed, careful not to aggravate his stitches.

"Just go to sleep John." She snickered and leaned against him.

"Don't have to tell me twice..." John hummed and leaned his head back.

Bonnie smiled and watched him fall asleep. She was in disbelief that he was back with her since she had almost lost him. She rubbed her stomach carefully, she was excited about giving birth to her first child. Was she ready to be a mother? Before fear could set in, she just breathed in John's scent and reminded herself that as long as he was around everything would be fine.

As the sun went from high in the sky to nearly disappearing over the horizon, they finally pulled into the MacFarlane's Ranch, Bonnie glanced outside and gasped. She didn't realize how much she had missed her home. She reached over and gently shook John's sleeping form. He opened his eyes and looked over to her sleepily.

"A-Are we there?" He asked.

"We are!" She said excitedly and quickly got out of the carriage jsut as Drew walked out of the house to get the mail.

"Bonnie?" He asked.

"Daddy!" She yelled and Drew quickly ran towards her and hugged her tightly. "I'm back daddy!" She cried as John carefully climbed out of the carriage with Nigel's help, glancing to John she smiled. "... We're back." She clarified, John looked up to Drew.

"... Hello Drew." John greeted a bit nervously.

"Marston..." Drew replied looking the other over. "... The hell happened to you?" He asked.

"... Long story... Mind if I sit down?" John inquired and Drew looked to Bonnie who stared at him with hope obviously in her eyes.

"Well... You two have some explaining to do... So I suppose so, need help?" He asked.

"If you don't mind..." John sighed, Bonnie then looked to West Dickens.

"Would you like to come in, Nigel?" She asked. "You're welcome to stay with us tonight..." She said.

"I wish I could Bonnie but I really should get going." West Dickens chortled.

"A-Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes, but thank you for your kindness while we stayed together." Nigel said and hugged the blonde woman who resisted the urge to cry.

"You'll come see the baby right?" She asked.

"Of course! Mister Marston, do take care of this woman." West laughed.

"... Hey old man... Thanks." John mentioned and West smiled before he walked back to his carriage.

Drew, Bonnie, and John then walked inside, John sat down on the sofa and sighed in relief, resting a hand on his abdomen while Drew got him and Bonnie something to drink while she sat down, grunting softly and holding her stomach.

"Are you alright?" John asked and quickly looked over to her.

"Yeah... Kids just kicking the hell out of me." Bonnie chortled breathlessly. "Don't worry John, I'll tell you when it's time..." She simpered.

John calmed down and rubbed her stomach carefully as Drew walked back into the room. He sat opposite of them.

"Please tell me what happened." Drew pleaded. "You just disappeared with a note saying you'd come back with no indication of where you were..." He grumbled.

"I'm sorry Mister MacFarlane it's my fault... I was betrayed at my Ranch, the government boys I worked for came after me... I knew that if I got away they'd go after Bonnie and I couldn't risk that... I took her up to a cabin in Tanner's Reach... But you don't have to worry about the government taking your earnings any longer, the men who were harassing you are dead." John explained.

"That's certainly a relief... Bonnie, we don't have much time to prepare, you need to find a midwife and prepare a room for the baby." Drew stated and John nodded.

"I was thinking the same, but I'm gonna be pretty useless at least for the next few days... I got shot in the liver killing Edgar Ross. I'll do whatever I can to help you, but Mister MacFarlane... I need to ask you something." John sighed and Drew raised a brow, John looked to Bonnie and smiled before he spoke. "... I know I haven't done much for you in the last few months... But I want to make it up to both of you... And I want permission to marry your daughter." He said and Bonnie gasped, blushing and automatically tears began sliding down her cheeks, damn her hormones!

"You... Want my permission?" Drew asked.

"Of course... You're her father, you're the most important person to her and... Considering all I've done, I want to show you that I'm committed to her and this family... I no longer plan on riding out of here unless going to tend to the cattle or getting more supplies for the Ranch... If you'd allow it." He requested and Drew gawked at him completely shocked as John took all the responsibility.

"W-Well John... Is this what you want Bonnie?" He questioned.

"Of course daddy... I love him." Bonnie simpered, looking to John, still trying to control her tears.

"Well... If you are happy, you have my blessing John." Drew stated and Bonnie hugged John tightly.

"Thank you, daddy... But we are _not_ getting married until I'm slim again." She giggled to lighten the mood and John rolled his eyes, smiling regardless.

"You're beautiful to me no matter what." He sighed.

"Okay, don't make me get the hose." Drew scoffed and Bonnie laughed.

* * *

It took five days of serious rest before John was able to walk on his own, and when he was finally able to walk without help, the first thing he did was begin to help Drew log whatever they had lost due to Archer and Ross, he would make sure they got everything back. He was also making sure Bonnie rested as much as possible while he helped her get their bedroom ready for the baby until he and Bonnie were both well enough to live on their own. John wanted her to be around her father until they were sure she was better after the pregnancy.

Walking upstairs, John walked into their room and leaned against the doorway and smiling as he saw Bonnie knitting a blanket, he tilted his head, it had seemed like the blanket was almost done. She couldn't have done all that in a few days.

"I didn't know you could knit." He mused and Bonnie smirked, rolling her eyes.

"I've worked on it while you were gone up at the cabin... I wanted to make a blanket for the baby... I'm almost done." She stated and looked over the white clean wool blanket. "I only have a few more stitches." She mused and looked at John. "What are you up to?" She questioned.

"I was just going over what the ranch needs with your father... How are you feeling?" He asked, walking over to her and sitting on the bed.

"Honestly? Scared." She sighed.

"Why's that?" John asked.

"I just... I'm getting cold feet over the baby... I'm so worried I won't be a good mother." She mumbled glumly.

"Bonnie, you are the strongest woman I've ever known... You've gone through so much and yet you've still stuck with me and supported me when I needed you. You'll be an amazing mother... And I'm lucky that I'll be able to watch you." He responded.

"... You always know what to say." Bonnie giggled and blushed, taking his hand. "My father sent a telegram to my midwife... I selected her months ago but I never had time to visit her, she'll be staying on the property until I give birth... I can't wait for her to get here... I just need someone who knows what they're doing... No offense." She snorted.

"Hey, it's not my place to be offended." He replied and kissed her, speaking of the devil, a knock at the door took their attention and Bonnie gasped softly.

"Charlotte!" She said and the older woman smiled happily, John got out of the way for the woman to hug Bonnie happily. "It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you, honey, look at you! You're glowing!" Charlotte complimented and looked at John. "You must be John... So lovely to finally meet you." She crowed and hugged John to his surprise, watching Bonnie chuckle as he managed to hug her back. "But unfortunately I have to kick you out now." She mused as she pulled back, watching John raise his brows. "Sorry, but I have to discuss with Bonnie the process, it's a very private matter, she's in good hands." Charlotte chorused kindly and John looked to Bonnie and shrugged.

"I trust you, I'll come back later, I love you." He said and leaned over kissing Bonnie's head affectionately before he walked out of the room for Bonnie and her midwife to talk privately.

He walked outside and lit up a cigarette and looked around, this place looked like it had in his dream... It had to be a dream right? Of course, there were plenty of people bustling around he huffed and exhaled the smoke from his lips before he walked over to Harlow, happy that West was willing to lead him towards the ranch. He glanced back to the farmhouse and wondered about their future. Obviously, they wouldn't live with Drew forever, but it was up to Drew if he wanted to retire and stay on the ranch or move to retire by himself.

He didn't need to worry about it now while Bonnie was pregnant though, he walked back into the general store and continued to take inventory of things the ranch would need to get back on its feet before he talked to the ranch hands about the heads of cattle they had. Having a normal life was really suiting John, it was nice not to continue to constantly worry about his life.

* * *

"Damn, why do these stitches hurt so bad taking out?" John cursed as Bonnie clipped the thread and carefully pulled out the stitching as John laid on their bed.

"Well, this injury was much worse than your other ones." Bonnie chuckled and continued to take out the stitches until the last one was pulled out.

John was so happy to have his stitches out after two weeks of having to abstain from alcohol. He sat up and groaned, glad he no longer had to worry about the pain or infection.

"We're done, my love." Bonnie giggled, watching John sit up. "You and daddy going to move the cattle today?" She asked.

"Yeah, but if you want me to stay I will." John said and Bonnie shook her head.

"No, no. I have Charlotte, everything will be fine John... Go ahead." Bonnie shooed and kissed John as he went to head out.

"Alright, we'll be back in a few hours." John mused and winked at her before walking out the door.

Drew and the farmhands were all saddled up and ready as John mounted Harlow.

"Drew can you lead?" He called.

"I can! Let's go boys!" He called and John began sweeping back and forth on Harlow, making sure no stragglers were left behind.

They were taking them out to pasture and with such a large herd, John was exhausted by the time they were about halfway. He wiped his forehead and by the time they arrived at the pasture, they had already been gone nearly three hours. John wiped his forehead and patted Harlow's neck, but hearing a pattering of hooved from behind them, John looked over, seeing another farmhand racing towards them on horseback.

"John! Drew!" He yelled and John raised a brow.

"Calm down boy what's goin' on?" Drew asked.

"Bonnie went into labor!" The other yelled and John gasped looking at Drew.

"You two go back, we can get it from here!" The farmhand exclaimed and both John and Drew didn't hesitate on kicking their horse's sides back towards the MacFarlane's Ranch.

Thankfully running back towards the house at full speed didn't take nearly as long, they were back in about fifteen minutes. John and Drew ran into the farmhouse, hearing Bonnie screaming upstairs John ran up the stairs and opened the door.

"J-John!" Bonnie cried as Charlotte encouraged her to breathe.

"I got back as soon as I heard, how are you doing?" He asked.

"We're almost ready, you got here right on time, John." Charlotte beamed and John kneeled by Bonnie and took her hand.

The reality that he was having another baby hit him like a brick, right now John was just more worried about Bonnie making it through the birthing process. He kept her hand in his as she clutched it desperately.

"Bonnie I think I see a head are you ready?" Charlotte asked and Bonnie sniffed and nodded. "Alright, push honey!"

It was time.


	23. Chapter 23

"Keep pushing Bonnie! One more good hard push!" Charlotte encouraged.

"I-I... I can't..." Bonnie sobbed. "I can't do it anymore..." She panted, sweat pouring from her brow as she desperately held John's hand.

"Yes, you can! You're so close Bonnie! You're gonna be a mama!" Charlotte cheered, trying to keep Bonnie motivated.

John reached over and snatched a rag from the bedside table and began carefully dabbing Bonnie's forehead.

"You can do this, Bonnie." He cooed to her and Bonnie breathing quickly before she pushed once more.

"Here it comes! Oh! I-It's a boy!" Charlotte effused as Bonnie panted, beginning to cry tears of happiness.

"A boy?" John asked, excitement building in his voice.

"Yes- Oh! Wait, wait!" Charlotte then gasped.

"Is something wrong!?" John asked and Charlotte's eyes widened.

"I-I think there's another!" She said.

"A-Another!?" Bonnie stammered, but as another contraction hit her Bonnie cried out again.

"Yes! There's another baby!" Charlotte said and hurried to wrap the baby boy before she ran out the door and screamed something unintelligible down the stairs before rushing back inside.

Within a few moments, another woman ran upstairs and into the room, one of Bonnie's female farmhands. Charlotte quickly shut the door and handed her the newborn boy.

"Here, hold him and use this towel to clean him off I have to deliver another." Charlotte instructed seriously to the woman who nodded and took the baby before Charlotte knelt in front of Bonnie once more. "I know you're tired honey, but you can do this sweetheart!" She stated.

"I can't! I-I'm so tired... I-I can't do it..." Bonnie whimpered.

"Yes, you can Bonnie... You can do this... We already have a baby boy you can do this..." John whispered to her and kissed her forehead.

"Fuck you for doing this for me." She scoffed and John chuckled, thankful that she was still feisty, it was no wonder why she got so sick during her pregnancy carrying twins.

Bonnie pushed again, Charlotte and John encouraging her all the way as the baby finally emerged from her loins.

"There she is!" Charlotte crowed.

"Sh-... She..?" Bonnie panted, tears streaming down her face.

"She." Charlotte confirmed.

"I-Is there anymore?" John chuckled nearly breathlessly and Charlotte laughed.

"No more..." She affirmed before she wrapped and cleaned the baby girl.

Charlotte checked Bonnie to make sure she wasn't hemorrhaging and then finally handed the two babies to their happy parents. Bonnie was handed the little girl and John the little boy before she and the farmhand made their departure. Charlotte would probably stick around for a week or two to make sure that Bonnie didn't become ill or succumb to infection, but for now, she knew that the new parents needed some alone time. Bonnie, still sobbing, smiled and looked down at her little girl.

"Hello, Hazel..." She cooed and looked down at the whimpering baby as she wiggled around in the blanket.

"... Suppose we need to get another crib." John chuckled softly and looked down at the little boy squirming in his arms. "... Welcome to the world little man." He whispered and, for the first time in his life allowed tears to escape his eyes with no resistance as he looked down at his little boy that he and Bonnie made.

John reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes as the baby calmed in his grasp. He realized now that he had a second chance, a second chance to be a father and do things the right way this time. He hoped that Abagail and Jack were alright, but now he had two new babies to think about... And he had to get a divorce from Abagail quietly, but he wouldn't leave the ranch until Bonnie was able to work again.

"Oh, John." Bonnie giggled as she too cried, reaching over with her free hand and helping to wipe his tears.

"I can't help it... We've worked so hard to get here... It seemed hopeless at times and now that we're here... It's just hard to believe." He explained and kissed her hand.

"You're right... It's amazing, isn't it? We were trying to decide names for a boy... Mother's intuition guided me... Now we have a boy and a girl... Our job just got a lot harder." She chortled tiredly, John looked down as Abel beginning to wiggle and weep.

"I think he's hungry." John mused, grinning.

"I think you're right... Hazel is as well..." She sighed, yawning quietly. "Can you hold her?" She asked.

"Of course, ma'am." John said and took Hazel in his free arm.

Bonnie then disrobed her top half and motioned John for him to give her the babies. He handed them to her carefully one at a time, she carefully positioned them at her breasts, watching them latch onto her bosoms. Bonnie hoped she had enough milk to sustain them, John wrapped an arm around Bonnie's shoulders, allowing her to rest upon him as she breastfed their children. She was exhausted and John could tell...

"John..?" She asked.

"Hm?"

"... I love you." She purred and looked up to him.

"I love you too..." He said and leaned down, kissing her lips.

* * *

Bonnie was surprised at how helpful John was with the kids, due to being two, it was hard for Bonnie to do everything. If they ever woke up in the night, John was the first to be up and console them and never showed signs of impatience no matter how exhausted he was when he went to work on the Ranch. Both Bonnie and John thought she may be able to return to work, but it soon became obvious that would be impossible for a while. She would be a stay-at-home mother permanently, but John was perfectly fine with that, he was almost relieved knowing she would never have to work.

Bonnie made sure that John always came home to a good meal, especially when he was up the night before, and Drew adored his grandchildren, doing whatever he could to steal them when he could. He helped her as well, always willing to watch them if she needed to make a meal, do laundry or... Just needed some alone time with John even though they weren't having sex. They still needed time to be with one another as a couple, but it had been over six months since they had sex and while Bonnie was sure that John was ready, she was worried about... How she looked.

"Daddy, do you think you can watch the kids for a few hours?" She asked. "They just ate, they should be good for a little while." She mentioned as Drew sat in an armchair reading his paper, watching him look up as she walked down the stairs.

"Of course! What-where are you goin'?" Drew asked as he watched Bonnie putting on her vest.

"I just want to ride, I haven't been ridin' since the kids were born and that's been what... Four months now?" She chuckled softly and tied her hair up.

"You sure that's a good idea?" Drew questioned.

"I'll be fine, pa..." Bonnie chortled before she ducked out of the house, she had to find John, but it didn't take long to see him breaking horse's that the farmhands had wrangled.

Bonnie smiled as pride swelled within her as she began walking towards the corral, leaning against the fence as she watched. However, unusually enough, this horse managed to throw John. She gasped and threw open the gate immediately.

"John!" She exclaimed as he sat up while the farmhands took ahold of the horse's rope.

"Bonnie? What are you doing out here?" He asked, groaning and reaching over, taking his hat off the ground and placing it back upon his head where it belonged.

"Giving you a break." Bonnie sighed and kneeled, pulling him up carefully.

"B-But Bonnie-"

"But nothing... Come on..." She crooned and hauled John up to his feet and nearly dragged him out of the corral.

Bonnie walked hand in hand with John into the new barn that was constructed after the burning, it was nice, definitely an upgrade. John looked exhausted but happy to see her nonetheless.

"What's the idea stealing me away from work?" He chuckled tiredly as they got away from prying eyes.

"Well... It's been a while since we've had some alone time... You've been working so hard." Bonnie said and climbed up the ladder onto the second floor of the barn, John raised a brow but followed her anyway.

When he climbed up to the second floor Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him quickly. John gasped out of shock but he didn't hesitate to reciprocate, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing her body against his. Bonnie blushed as John's hands wrapped around her rear, but she gasped as John's lips suddenly went to her neck, knowing where this would go, Bonnie suddenly shoved him away, he seemed startled, to say the least.

"I-I... I'm sorry John..." She murmured nervously.

"Bonnie, what's goin' on?" He asked. "I-I know it's been a while but... Damn did I hit you in my sleep or somethin'?" John asked and Bonnie sighed.

"No, no... It's not you... It's me." She mumbled, John tilted his head and approached her again.

"... Talk to me, Bonnie... What's goin' on?" He questioned and took her hand.

"... You were right, it's been a long time since we've been together... But w-when we were together I was... Bigger and now that the kids are born... My stretch marks and... I'm just..." She turned away and twiddled her hair between her fingers, gulping, hearing John chuckle softly, Bonnie tensed slightly as she felt John's arms slither around her waist gently.

"Are you seriously worried about how you look?" He inquired almost a flirtatious fashion. "Bonnie, there is nothing that can turn you off from me... You're stuck with me." He purred into her ear and carefully nipped her ear.

"Are you sure?" Bonnie questioned, unable to look at him.

"Oh, I'm sure... I've waited months to have you... There's been plenty of times that I've had to resist throwing you down and fucking you." He mused, watching Bonnie turn to him with sheer shock in her gaze.

"John!" She blurted, but before she could scold him for his obscene words she blushed and giggled, turning in his grasp and facing him once again, John then glanced around for a few moments and then turning his attention back to Bonnie.

"You know... No one's down there... Which is why you came up here... Isn't it?" He asked and Bonnie smirked, shrugging and winking.

"Maybe..." She snickered.

John then leaned in and kissed her again, reaching up and running his fingers through her hair gently, beginning to guide her towards a few hay bales by a window. He carefully laid her down on top them and began to reach up and unbuckle his pants as Bonnie unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her brassiere, her breasts had gotten so much bigger since they were full of milk, John had to admit that he stared at them often. He didn't want to risk undressing all the way should someone see, but he did unbutton his own shirt. He then leaned over her and kissed her passionately.

Bonnie was worried about what sex would be like now that she had her children, Charlotte had mentioned sex feeling different. It wasn't better or worse, just different. John prodded her legs apart gently before he laid between them. He couldn't believe how in love with Bonnie he was, but before he could start feeling her up she covered up her brassiere with her arms.

"Don't touch these." She chuckled.

"What? Why?" John asked with a small pout.

"Unless you want to be hosed down, I highly suggest that you leave them alone." Bonnie giggled and John shrugged.

"Good point." He chortled before she uncovered her brassiere and wrapped her arms around John's neck as he kissed her lips.

John then reached down between her legs and rubbed between the folds of her pants, Bonnie blushed and bit her lip. She managed to glance down at her stomach, John hadn't even taken notice of the numerous, numerous amounts of stretch marks upon her stomach. Thankfully her pregnancy pouch was mostly gone due to her working with the twins and working in the garden in her spare time.

She then reached down and unzipped her pants so John could slide them off her body, which John did with no hesitation at all. John looked down at her and saw the woman that he had laid his eyes upon the first time they were together... If he weren't so hung it would be almost nostalgic, but John had been so sex deprived he was just trying not to rush things too fast, he wanted Bonnie to enjoy herself as well, but his bulge was obvious in his pants. When Bonnie moved her underwear aside and exposed herself to him, John leaned in and kissed her neck, biting it playfully.

"Take me, John..." Bonnie moaned.

John smirked and reached into his pants, pulling out his stiff erection and beginning to push it into Bonnie's entrance. Bonnie cringed as she felt John intrude upon her and she hissed quietly, John didn't push further waiting for her to tell him she was alright. Charlotte was right, it did feel different, her loins felt completely different, but looking up and seeing John's gaze, she blushed crimson and reached up, running her palm over his cheek.

"I love you so much..." She whispered and John smiled.

"I love you too." He replied and pressed his forehead against hers. "Are you alright?" He inquired.

"Y-Yes... I think so." She assured.

After the pain of losing her post-birth virginity subsided, Bonnie remembered how good sex could be. John held onto one of her hips with one hand while his other hand kept his weight off her so he didn't risk soaking them both with her breast milk. He grunted softly, bucking his hips in and out of her while Bonnie desperately held on for the ride, trying hard to keep her cries of bliss to a minimum. In this moment she wondered why she had waited so long for John to be inside her again, her nails clutching the muscles of John's covered back.

"O-Oh John!" She panted, arching her back some and wrapping her legs around his waist.

John was so relieved he could finally release some of his sexual frustrations, and happy Bonnie opened up to him, but he couldn't focus on much at the moment. Right now he only focused on _not_ cumming inside Bonnie, because while he loved their children and would consider more in the future, he knew that they both weren't ready for more right now, Bonnie just had their kids four months ago, she needed some time.

"J-John, oh god... John I-I'm so close." She panted, her body contracting around his member as she was thrust into a much-needed orgasm.

John continued thrusting throughout her orgasm until he felt his own beginning to peak, he quickly pulled out, stroking his member quickly enough and before long, his white stream erupted from him, spurting onto Bonnie's navel, abdomen, chest and to her surprise, her face as well. He panted and nearly doubled over, but managed to get up off her first, sitting upright on the bale and putting his member away, panting heavily before looking Bonnie over and chortling.

"Jesus look what I did to you." He snorted and reached into the pocket of his pants pulling out a bandana and handing it to her, but couldn't help but watch her reach up to her face and wipe off the white substance and licking it generously off her fingers. "Goddamn, I'm a lucky man." He laughed and nearly got hard all over again, but Bonnie grinned and wiped off the rest of John's mess with the rag.

John and Bonnie redressed before they headed back down to the first floor of the barn once again. John wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close, knowing he should get back to work, but he wanted to stop by and see his kids first before he did so. The two strolled into the house as Drew gently tossed Hazel in the air, hearing a squawk and a squeal from her. John and Bonnie were both lucky to have such happy babies.

"You're back already? That was a quick ride." Drew muttered and Bonnie paused, blushing an glancing at John.

"Well, I was thrown so Bonnie didn't want to subject me to it... How are the kids?" John asked, saving Bonnie some embarrassment.

"Peachy as usual, oh John, can I speak with you before you get back to work?" Drew suddenly asked and John raised a brow.

"Any particular reason?" He questioned and Drew motioned John into the kitchen.

John looked at Bonnie who shrugged before she took the baby from Drew and John followed him out the back door. John wasn't on Drew's bad side anymore but he was curious as to what Drew was needing to speak to him about. He hoped Drew wasn't angry at him again...

"Bonnie didn't follow right?" Drew asked in a hushed whisper, John shook his head.

"Anything the matter Drew?" He asked.

"No, no... I just didn't want to risk Bonnie seeing this." Drew explained and reached into his pocket, holding a small box, he seemed troubled for a moment but gave it to John, seeming hesitant to give it up for a split second. "... It's... My wife's ring." He said and John was taken aback as he held the box securely in his hand before he opened the box and peering at the ring.

The ring was a dull yellow gold, but the diamonds still shone and they seemed to be woven in a twist, the two diamonds seemed to be perfect, resembling their twins. John was nearly at a loss for words.

"I-I... I don't know what to say... Don't you want to keep this?" He asked quietly and Drew sighed but shrugged.

"I did, I would have given it to my sons but... Well you know, and seeing you and Bonnie so happy, I want to keep the ring in the family... You still want to marry her right?" Drew questioned, and John nodded with no hesitation.

"I-I don't know how to repay you for this." John muttered and closed the box and placed it in his pocket.

"The only thing you need to do for me, is make my daughter happy... You do a good job of it already... Look, Marston, I wasn't sure about you for a while... But, seeing how good you are with the kids and keeping my daughter safe... I'd be proud to call you my son-in-law... I ain't getting any older so... I'm not gonna get all sappy, just take the ring." Drew scoffed and John smiled, nodding.

"Thanks, old man." He chuckled softly before he patted Drew's shoulder and got back to work.

* * *

John knew what he had to do, and while he didn't want to leave the ranch, he had to get a quiet divorce from Abagail, and there was only one person that could help him. He woke up early, sneaking out of his bedroom and mounting Harlow outside. He needed to get to Armadillo, he kicked the alabaster horse as he went through the desert. He rode into Armadillo when the sun was finally over the horizon, the town was bustling, but John set his sights on the Police Station. He hitched Harlow on the post and walked in, seeing Jonah he was almost happy to see the little fucker.

"Is that the government boy?" Jonah asked.

"Not anymore, Jonah, it's nice to see you." John greeted _almost_ kindly.

"What'cha doin' here?" Jonah asked.

"Looking for Johnson... Any idea where he is?" John questioned.

"He just left, should be back soon... You need us for another bounty hunt?"

"No... I'm actually getting married soon." John mused.

"Y-You're what!? Well... S'pose I should say congrats." Jonah commented and John rolled his eyes as Johnson walked in.

"Is that John Marston?" He asked with shock written over his features.

"It is, are you busy?" John inquired.

"For now, need something else?" Johnson joked.

"I do, but it won't require you to leave the office." John mentioned. "I need a divorce from my wife because I'm getting remarried... I came to you because I have no clue where she is so I can't get her signature."

"Well I need her signature, but if you don't know where she is I could register it as abandonment or a death, but if she's not dead and she comes back... Your divorce is, in a sense, recalled." Johnson explained, and while it would bruise John's pride to list Abagail as an abandonment since technically it was the other way around, it was the only way.

"It's fine, list it as an abandonment, I'll probably be back soon for a marriage license." He stated.

"Can I ask who you're marrying?" Johnson inquired curiously.

"It's Bonnie MacFarlane." John admitted.

"No shit?" Johnson questioned.

"Well... She just gave birth to twins a few months ago." John chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Jesus, well, congratulations, just sign here." Johnson said handing John the pen, which he did so with no hesitation. "You're now divorced, I'm just going to get this notarized it will be official in about two weeks."

"Thanks, Johnson, I'll see you soon." John said and walked out of the station, feeling a huge relief lift from his shoulders.

* * *

The door swung open and Bonnie looked over as she mashed potatoes, seeing John walk in, Bonnie tilted her head.

"John! Where were you this morning?" She asked, tilting her head, looking to the clock. "Jeez it's like two o'clock, I was getting worried John Marston." She scolded quietly.

"Sorry, I was just getting some business done so that I could do this..." John replied and approached Bonnie who seemed completely confused until John took her hand and kneeled in front of her.

"John what are you-"

"Marry me?" John asked.

"W-... What?" Bonnie stuttered as John reached into his back pocket and pulled out the ring box, showing Bonnie the ring, Bonnie's eyes filled with tears. "This... This ring... This is my mother's ring I thought... I thought we lost it... Oh my god John..." Bonnie whimpered and smiled. "Yes, John... Yes!" She sobbed as John slipped the ring onto Bonnie's finger before standing.

"I love you, Bonnie." John chuckled trying to wipe her tears as Bonnie threw herself into his arms. "You ready to be a Marston?" He asked and Bonnie laughed nodding pathetically as she cried.

"John, how did you get this ring?" She finally asked as she got ahold of herself. "Th-There was a fire a few months after my mother died and we lost so much of her things I thought I'd never see this ring again." She sniffed.

"You're father gave it to me..." John explained, wrapping his arms around Bonnie's waist. "I'll be a very lucky man to make you Bonnie Marston." He mused and Bonnie blushed, beaming uncontrollably.

"I love you, John." She said and hugged him again.

John and Abagail never had an actual wedding, they just signed a marriage license and that was that, but John was willing to give Bonnie whatever she wanted for her wedding, no matter what.


	24. Chapter 24

John had no clue how chaotic it was to really plan a wedding and he was lucky that he didn't have much to do with it, Bonnie didn't want a big wedding but she wanted a ceremony, John would have rented out the whole town of Blackwater if she wanted but he was glad that she opted for something more small and personal. There would probably be only about twenty witnesses if not only a few more, she had invited her father for obvious reasons, her brother who she was certain wouldn't come but John convinced her to invite him anyway as well as her farmhands, John invited the Marshal and Deputies as well as West Dickens, he might have even invited MacDougal if he had known where the crazy scholar had went.

It had been about a month since John had proposed, he was officially divorced from Abagail and had a marriage license to Bonnie ready to sign but she asked to wait until the ceremony which John was perfectly willing to honor. He was surprised at how things were progressing, the babies were nearly rolling around and were babbling and smiling happily. They loved him, they adored him, in fact, it was hard to believe that any child would smile when they saw him, his numerous scars didn't deter them in the slightest.

"John!" Bonnie called as John cuddled two babies lazily on the sofa, nearly dozing off after a long day of work on the ranch.

"Hm?" He hummed as he propped his legs up on the coffee table. "Babies are sleeping." He stated as Bonnie walked into the room.

Abel laid against his left pec and Hazel laid against his right, both sleeping quietly as he rubbed their backs, listening to their breathing carefully. She stopped in her tracks as she saw the sight in front of her and smiled, wishing she could capture this moment forever in her mind. The sight was too adorable as John's eyes remained shut, but eventually they fluttered open, noting Bonnie staring, he arched a brow.

"I'm listening." He announced softly.

"Oh, sorry I just... This is so cute." She simpered before she approached him and sat next to him, rubbing his leg gently and grinned happily. "Do you have your suit?" She asked looking down at a notebook, filled of multiple lists.

"... No, but I have infants in my arms so you cannot harm me." He mused and winked at her, watching Bonnie roll her eyes.

"Seven days, John." She disclosed, trying to be serious no matter how hard it was.

"Damn really?" He inquired, some shock to his tone. "Didn't realize how fast the date was comin'." He muttered but looked back to Bonnie. "I promise I'll go get it in the next two or three days..." He declared and Bonnie smiled.

"Wedding rings?"

"Got'em."

"Flowers?"

"That was your job."

"Well, we got them... Don't need many anyway." Bonnie mused as she checked off things on the list. "Vows?" She questioned, watching John stiffen. "John Marston."

"Bonnie you know I don't express myself very well, do we really have to do the whole... Sappy vows stuff?" He asked, groaning softly.

"John, I'm not asking for much here it ain't a school essay." Bonnie snorted and John sighed.

"Alright, alright." He grumbled and Bonnie smiled.

"Thank you, love." Bonnie, then kissed John's lips. "Wanna help me put these little ones to bed?" She then asked, and John yawned softly and nodded. "You better not work yourself to death a week before our wedding..." She teased gently and John chuckled tiredly as he carefully handed Bonnie Abel and kept Hazel in his arms.

"I'm tryin' not too." He snorted and leaned in, kissing Bonnie before the two ventured up the stairs.

By now the couple had almost two of everything for the twins, two cribs, two blankets, two high chairs, everything. John kissed Hazel's head gently and slowly laid her down in her crib, thankfully not waking her up. Bonnie laid Abel down before John wrapped an arm around her waist, looking down at the two kids. Both of them had butterscotch blonde hair but the two had John's amber colored eyes, a perfect mix of the both of them.

"We did pretty good, didn't we..." John mused with a small grin.

"I think we did..." Bonnie replied and smiled happily before she turned to John and wrapped her arms around his neck. "... I just wanted to thank you for workin' so hard John... We had a rough year but we're almost back to where we were thanks to you..." She said, leaning her head against his chest.

"I felt like it was my fault that you lost what you did... I wanted to make up for it... Profits are better than ever." He mused and hugged her tightly. "I wanna be a good husband for you." He mused.

"John you've given up everything to help me... Even your family-"

"You are my family now... We're a family... Don't forget that." He corrected, caressing her cheek before he looked to the clock, it was getting late. "Wanna head to bed?" He asked.

"I do..." Bonnie replied and smiled, they were a family... She had a family.

John and Bonnie slipped into bed together, Bonnie smiled as John wrapped an arm around her. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into John's neck and rubbing his chest.

"I love you, John..." She breathed, her eyes beginning to flutter as John's slowly shut as well.

"I love you too..." He murmured sleepily as he fell out of consciousness.

* * *

"I hate these damn things." John snarled quietly as he fidgeted in his suit, looking in the mirror as he played with his tie.

"Don't futz. I need to make sure it fits correctly." The tailor scolded and measured John's arms.

"As long as I can take this thing off soon..." He grumbled quietly and stiffly stood as Bonnie knocked on the bedroom door. "It's open." He called and Bonnie walked in, almost blushing at the sight, the tailor still taking John's measurements and making sure everything fit.

"Look at you handsome." She giggled and winked, John rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I now remember why I don't wear these things." He scoffed and shrugged as the tailor backed up.

"Everything fits well, just make sure you don't get it stained, I don't have time to clean it if something happens, the wedding is tomorrow." The tailor mused, waving his finger lightly before John rolled his eyes.

"Got it." He huffed and began to quickly untie his tie so that he could get this suit off, the tailor took his leave and Bonnie closed the door so that John could change peacefully.

"You look so good in that, it's too bad you don't like suits, I'd love to see you in them more often." She chuckled as John continued undressing.

"Yeah, too bad for you." John laughed and laid his jacket on the bed and began to unbutton his shirt.

"Oh. I like this view too..." Bonnie snickered before she sat on the bed as John took his shirt off.

John glanced over to her and chuckled, rolling his eyes playfully. He couldn't believe he was getting married tomorrow, and he was so glad that Bonnie took the initiative with the planning. She only asked him his preference for a few things, but she got everything ready.

"You ready for tomorrow?" John asked.

"... I think so, you?" She questioned.

"Back'atcha." John replied and sat next to her, caressing her cheek.

"I hope you like my dress." Bonnie mentioned and leaned against him.

"You look great in anything don't worry." John chuckled and guided Bonnie onto his lap.

"John! What are you doing!?" She chirped, biting her lip.

"Look, since we can't sleep together tonight because you _insist,_ maybe I want a piece of you now..." He chortled and rubbed her hips.

"Oh?" Bonnie teased lightly and began to unbutton her shirt as well, however before the two could begin to make heat-

"Bonnie! Bonnie!" Drew called as John and Bonnie jumped, John quickly slipped his shirt back on as Bonnie climbed off of him and the two ran downstairs.

"Daddy! Daddy is something wrong with the babies!?" She gasped but stopped in her tracks. "P-... Patrick?" She asked as Drew hugged the man tightly.

"Hello, Bonnie... Didn't think I would miss your big day did you?" The darker haired man asked, he definitely resembled Drew more than Bonnie did, but Bonnie folded her arms, unsure of what to say at first.

"... Dunno, you've missed every other big day." Bonnie commented dryly.

"Alright, I deserve that-"

"Yes, you do." Bonnie mused and John raised a brow at how short she was with her only brother, he quickly approached her and wrapped her his arm securely around her waist and looking down at her, she glanced up and sighed, remembering that she did invite Patrick. "John, this is my brother Patrick... Patrick, this is John, the man I'm marrying... Did you want to meet your niece and nephew?" She then asked, watching Patrick gawk at her.

"Y-You had kids?" Patrick asked.

"Twins... Nice to meet you, Patrick." John stated and held out his hand, Patrick hesitated but firmly shook John's hand.

"I would love to meet them." Patrick replied and took off his jacket, hanging it up by the door.

"It's so good to see you again my boy." Drew said happily despite the slight tension in the room.

Bonnie walked over to the cradles where the babies gurgled and chewed on their toes, smiling as soon as she saw them.

"Hello, sweeties." She cooed, the babies squawking and smiling as they saw her. "John, grab one?" She asked and John approached, picking up Abel.

"Come here, little man." He chuckled, grinning as Abel screeched happily from seeing his father.

"I can't believe you had twins." Patrick said still reeling from the shock.

"Neither can we and they're nearin' six months now." John laughed as he and Bonnie approached.

"We had a boy and a girl, Hazel, and Abel." Bonnie introduced. "Which one did you wanna hold?" She questioned.

"Lemme see the little man first if you don't mind... We lost a lot of men in the family it's nice to see a healthy little boy." Patrick mused and John handed Patrick Abel. "Well hello, there little boy." He cooed, Abel gurgling and laughing at Patrick. "Very handsome..." He snickered before he looked at Bonnie, who couldn't help but smile. "I'm happy to see you, sis." He said, Bonnie rolled her eyes but nodded.

"I'm happy you're here I suppose but if you plan on disappearin' for another twenty or somethin' years you got another thing comin'." She snorted and Patrick nodded.

* * *

The next morning was hectic, to say the least, John tied his tie and felt his blood run cold from the nerves. He knew it was cold feet but he had never been in an actual wedding ceremony, he was not a good public speaker and he had never been so scared. Of all the times he had faced death, he was never so scared as he was right now. Drew and Patrick volunteered to look after the babies so that he and Bonnie could get ready. Bonnie slept in the other room and Patrick took the couch that night because Bonnie insisted they didn't see each other until the wedding due to luck.

John walked out of the bedroom and walked downstairs, Bonnie was getting ready with her female farmhands in another house on the ranch. John was doing his best not to faint, Drew looked over as John rubbed his forehead and smiled.

"Calm down, boy." He stated.

"I-I'm tryin'." John replied and gulped, looking to his daughter in Drew's arms. "Mind if I..?" He asked and Drew shook his head.

"Go ahead, just don't let her stain your suit or Bonnie will kill us." He chortled and John smiled as he took Hazel.

"You look pretty little lady, got a white dress and everything just like your mama." He mused and Hazel giggled, hugging John, he needed that.

He sighed and hugged Hazel as well, nuzzling her lightly and Hazel shut her eyes, leaning her head against John's chest. He smiled and ran his hand through her hair carefully, kissing her head, looking up ad Patrick walked into the room with Abel in his arms, everyone was in suits and everyone seemed ready. The ceremony was supposed to start sometime soon.

"You about ready to go?" Drew asked and John took a breath but nodded, hanging Hazel back to him, patting his jacket pocket to make sure he had the rings and his vows.

John, Patrick, Drew, and the babies walked out to the barn where people were already gathering, John took Hazel from Drew again since he was going to walk Bonnie down the aisle and gave her to Patrick who was more than happy to take her and sit down. Everyone that he invited made it to his surprise, West Dickens waved at him from his seat and Johnson nodded to him with a small smile. It was definitely a reality check, a year ago he was fighting to keep his first family safe and now he was getting married, his twins and officers of the law in the audience. Things were completely different now and John couldn't be happier.

"Are you ready to proceed, Mister Marston?" The priest asked as he approached John.

"... Suppose so." John replied and smiled nervously, everyone got in their seats and Bonnie's female farmhands spread flower petals over the aisle.

Then he saw her...

Walking towards him, Bonnie was smiling, all in white, her lips red and her face flushed with blush and bashful. Drew beamed with pride as he tried to keep his emotions at bay as he readied to give his daughter away to John... She looked to Drew and smiled, reaching up, wiping her father's tears away before leaning in and kissing his cheek.

"Who gives this bride in marriage?" The priest asked.

"Her father does." Drew stated and handed Bonnie away to John.

John took a moment to look at Bonnie... Really look at her, he felt weak in the knees for a moment but taking her hand in his as he gawked at her in complete awe. She was taking his last name..? He was marrying her? She was _his woman?_

"S-Say somethin' you fool." Bonnie giggled nervously.

"... How? You're perfect." He whispered to her, squeezing her hand, smiling.

"John..." She almost whimpered, tears welling in her cobalt hues but she managed to keep them in so they didn't mess up her make-up.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to wed John and Bonnie in holy matrimony. When we marry, we promise to love not only as we feel right now, but also as we intend to feel. In marriage we say not only, _I love you today_ , but also, _I promise to love you tomorrow, the next day and always._ Love doesn't limit. Love means each person is free to follow his or her own heart. If we truly love, our choices will naturally and freely serve that love well." The Priest addressed and grinned. "The bride and groom have written vows which they would like to read themselves, Bonnie?" He questioned and Bonnie bit her lip for a moment before meeting John's gaze.

"... John, when we first met, I have to admit, I couldn't wait for you to get off my property... But when I saw the man I befriended and not the outlaw I saved... You made me feel like a woman not like a rancher... No matter what we went through all those months apart, and no matter how much I went through with the twins... It was all worth it, and I am so proud to become your wife... I only hope to be the mother of your children that you deserve and... I hope to have more." She said and blushed, smiling but feeling tears beginning to slip from her eyes. "I was hoping I would be able to get through this without c-cryin' but, John, I love you, and no matter what we go through, we will be a family and nothing will come between us." She sniffled and smiled.

"That was beautiful, John?"

John reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the vows that he wrote but glanced at them and back to Bonnie, however, he then rolled his eyes and crumbled up the paper and tossed it away.

"... I've never been a man of many words, I'm not a poet, I ain't even a writer... But my love for you doesn't need any fancy words... Seeing you walk down that aisle I was shocked because never have I felt so lucky... You are so perfect, even when you're crying." He chuckled, Bonnie giggled, blushing deeply. "... When we first met, I have to agree I couldn't wait to get out of here to do what I had to do to live a normal life... I saw how flawlessly you were able to hold your own and how you held the world on your shoulders... I didn't even realize I was getting reigned in until you had me wrapped around your finger. I love you, I'm not always good at saying it but I will never make you question my love for you... I promise." He said and reached up, caressing Bonnie's cheek.

"Shall we exchange rings?" The priest asked with a smile, John and Bonnie nodded, John then took the rings from his jacket.

The two exchanged wedding rings, John glanced at his hand, it felt weird to wear an actual ring, but honestly, he loved it. Due to not having a ceremony he and Abagail didn't wear rings. It was heartwarming.

"Now without further adieu, I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." The priest said and John grinned, pulling Bonnie close and pressing his lips against hers.

Applause followed as well as whoops from the farmhands as John swooped Bonnie into his arms as she squealed happily as he walked her down the aisle. Drew fed everyone before the crowd dispersed. However before John could drag Bonnie upstairs to their room to disappear for the rest of the night, Drew caught up to them.

"Hey you two, before you float away to consummate your marriage-"

"Daddy!" Bonnie cringed as she and John held the kids.

"Calm down, I need to talk to you two seriously." Drew stated and pointed at the couch.

"What's goin' on daddy?" Bonnie asked.

"Well... Things have been goin' so well with the ranch lately and now that you two are married... I wanted to talk to you two about retiring and giving you the farmhouse." Drew explained and John and Bonnie stared at him.

"D-Daddy we can't take the farmhouse from you where will you go?" Bonnie asked.

"I agree, we can't kick you out, Drew." John scoffed.

"Calm down... Your mama and I have another property near Wolf's River. I was gonna retire there with her, but you know..."

"Daddy you don't have to leave! What about the babies?" Bonnie asked.

"I'll be around, I'm not leaving, I'm just... I'm waking up to life and I've seen the family you two built... John, you've saved this ranch so many ways, I wanna turn it over to you." Drew said holding out his hand.

"I-... Wow... Thank you, sir." John stuttered and firmly shook Drew's hand.

He remembered talking to Jack about how he wanted Beecher's Hope to become like Hennigan's Stead... And now he owned Hennigan's Stead.

* * *

John wiped his forehead as he moved he and Bonnie's things into the master bedroom, the babies would take over their old room. Feeling hands on his back, John smirked and turned his head over to Bonnie. She had changed out of her wedding dress into something more manageable, John had just taken off his tie and his jacket. He wrapped his arms around her, running his hands over her body.

"... Sure you don't regret marrying me?" John chuckled and Bonnie smiled.

"Pretty sure..." She teased and leaned in, kissing John's lips.

"I'm gonna make you completely sure..." John chuckled and began leading Bonnie to the bed. "Ready to be fucked as a married woman?" He questioned.

"John Marston!" She gasped at his obscene language.

"Yes, Bonnie Marston?" He asked but before Bonnie could counter, she looked like a deer in headlights, but before anything else could be said she suddenly burst into tears. "B-Bonnie!" He laughed, wiping her tears away.

"I-I'm sorry I'm just so happy." She sniffled and hugged John tightly.

"I am too." He replied and rubbed Bonnie's back gently.

"Ugh, you were trying to be sexy and I ruined it." She snickered, getting herself back together.

"Trust me, you're still sexy." He chortled and leaned down, kissing her once again.

John began leading Bonnie back towards the bed, pushing her down and climbing on top of her, running a hand through her hair. They were married, they were a family, officially speaking. Within a year his life had completely changed, there were days that John felt like just surrendering his life, but today, he remembered all the struggles he went through and the injuries, it was all worth it. He had a wife and two kids, soon to be three or four? He would see what Bonnie would think about it.

"Why are you looking at me all weird?" Bonnie inquired shyly, John shrugged, leaning in, kissing her neck carefully.

"I was just remembering all the crap we went through... We're a family... Maybe even a bigger family one day?" He asked, reaching down and caressing her stomach, Bonnie blushed and smiled.

"Yes... I'd love more kids." She giggled and began kissing John, caressing his cheek.

She was so happy, she never thought that she and John would actually get married, she would never have blamed him for returning to his first family and never acknowledging their kids... But they were _married_ now and they ran the ranch together so her daddy could retire. It felt like a dream come true.

* * *

Patrick left after two more days once Drew was moved onto his new property, promising Bonnie and John that he would visit more often though Bonnie wasn't holding her breath, she did get teary eyed when Patrick got on his train. John wrapped an arm firmly around her waist for support before the four of them went home.

Months seem to just fly by, first steps and first words with them. Before John could even register what was happening, his kids were growing up before his eyes and Bonnie popped out another and was going to soon bear one more. He was asleep on the sofa, he was exhausted, he had no clue how Bonnie did this all day with the kids, they exhausted him all the time, but he loved them more than life itself.

"Daddy!" Hazel laughed, gently tugging on his sleep.

"Papa!" Abel exclaimed as John's eyes fluttered open.

"Kids? Where is Vincent?" He yawned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"With mama... Mama told us to come wake you up for supper daddy." Hazel chirped and John looked outside, the sun was already setting.

"Wow, how long have I been asleep?" He mumbled only to himself.

Standing up, his six-year-old twins were trying to drag him back into the kitchen where a _very_ pregnant Bonnie cooked while a four-year-old Vincent drew pictures quietly at the table. Vincent was a shy quiet child, but he loved his siblings and parents dearly, he was almost an exact copy of John, dark hair and dark eyes, John peered over at his drawing, unable to help the grin that spread across his face.

"Not bad kid." John snorted, kissing Vincent's head.

"Thank you, papa..." Vincent squeaked quietly before John walked to Bonnie's side, wrapping an arm around her.

"Sorry I fell asleep... How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.

"I'm fine John... Honestly. I'm not in labor yet..." She muttered to him, smiling at him.

"Where did Charlotte go?" John asked curiously.

"Getting the preparations done, I've been having contractions all morning so she's running around like a chicken trying to make sure that when I'm ready she's ready too." Bonnie chuckled softly, she had been very tired the last few days so John tried his best to hang around the house so that when she was ready he would be there to help, Drew had also been staying in the guest room, ready to take care of the kids for when Bonnie was ready to give birth for the third time.

"Papa! Papa! Abel threw a sock at me!" Hazel squealed.

"Tattletale." Abel grumbled and John rolled his eyes.

"Behave yourself you two." John scoffed, approaching them, suddenly picking them up heading them yell and screech happily as John hauled them into the living room and tossed them onto the sofa as they laughed. "Don't make daddy squish ya." He chuckled, roughhousing with them so it was easier to put them to bed after dinner.

The kids were smart, Abel and Hazel were always learning new things from the farmhands and helping where they could where Vincent liked learning to read and took a particular shine to the animals. He always helped Bonnie with the chickens and constantly asked John about the cattle and horses, which John never minded answering, even if he had answered the question ten times. He was currently trying to teach Vincent to ride a horse, Harlow was so good with the kids.

"Papa?" Vincent asked in a hushed fashion, John looked over.

"What is it, Vince?" He questioned.

"M-Mama wants you!" He said, fidgeting nervously. "Is she sick?" He asked and John tilted his head, quickly walking into the kitchen and gasping, Bonnie was holding her stomach, a pool of liquid beneath her. They fucking jinxed it.

"J-John?" She asked calmly.

"I-I'll go get Charlotte!" He gasped and walked into the living room. "Kids! Mama is ready! Remember the plan?" He asked and both Abel and Hazel got off the couch and nodded.

"We'll go find grandpa!" Abel said and the twins ran out the back door, John rushed back to Bonnie and picked her up, carefully carrying her up the stairs.

"Charlotte it's time!" He called.

"It's time!?" She asked emerging from the bedroom.

"I-It's time..." Bonnie whimpered pathetically.

"Oh, my goodness get her in here!" Charlotte cheered. "Are you ready honey?" She asked.

" _No._ " Bonnie snarled.

Everything happened so fast, Bonnie's births were always fast but this baby was born within fifteen minutes of getting her ready upstairs. If John had been somewhere else, Bonnie probably would have given birth on the floor in the kitchen. Bonnie was sobbing, smiling as a little bundle was placed into her arms.

"A girl..." Charlotte beamed.

"A girl?" John asked, grinning as he peered down at the fuzzy infant.

"Hello, Mabel." Bonnie sniffed, smiling happily and running her fingers through the fuzzy newborn's hair.

"Beautiful name..." Charlotte said and smiled. "Shall I go get the kids?" She asked.

"If you would." John replied, unwilling to leave Bonnie and Mabel.

Within a few moments, the three kids were up in the room, looking in on their newest sister in awe and wonder as Bonnie held the baby in her arms.

"Her name is Mabel..." John informed them softly.

"Hi, Mabel... My name is Vincent, you can call me Vince... How was that papa?" Vincent asked and John chuckled, patting the child's shoulders.

"Very good son..." He replied.

"I'm Hazel."

"I'm Abel." The twins introduced before Charlotte began shooing them out of the room.

"Come, children, let's leave mommy and daddy alone for a little while, I'll make us some cookies." She giggled, the kids rushing out of the room with the promise of sweets.

"She's beautiful John..." Bonnie sniffed, smiling happily.

"Just like you, gorgeous..." He replied and wrapped an arm around Bonnie's shoulders. "Look at those blue eyes... Just like yours." He whispered and nuzzled into Bonnie's hair gently.

John looked upon his ever-growing family with loving eyes as he looked down at a new Marston child... It never got old, looking down at Mabel's dark hair as she calmed in her mothers embrace. There was nothing better than seeing his children blossom... He couldn't believe he and Bonnie had not only been married for six years but they now had four beautiful children...

"I love you, John..." She whispered to him.

"I love you too, Bonnie..." He replied.

The woman he had fallen for along the way was his home... She was everything and John would _never_ forget that.

 **FIN.**

* * *

 _ **Hey guys thank you so much for following this story with me, it's been an amazing journey and this work is definitely my best one and thank you so much for all the support, I may add a little mini series later on John and Jack's reunion but I don't want to get burnt out and never continue. I already have plans for my next fic, so stay tuned!**_

 ** _-Eros_**


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